New Members

[drinkingal]

New Members

Hi alcoholic and :welcome: You are more than welcome to post here. No one here will try to convince you to drink, what we do at this board I guess is each work our own goals and just try to encourage each other in that, and also learn from each other. We have a member at the mod board, DfromCt who recently did 100 days af. So no matter if you just want to work towards going totally af, moderate, use harm reduction or just consider your options and what works best for you, you are welcome here.

Most of our chit chat goes on in the monthly mod squad threads so come on over there and join us in the october one, but we also have a Sun-Fri thread going where some of us are setting goals to get some af days in each week and I keep a tallyboard going of who did what day af, that can be 1 day or 7 days. The ruby tuesday thread is about setting goals for the week and coming back to report on them. There's always plenty of controversy around these boards at times, but the mod board is a nice calm place to hang out.

DG

[Alcoholic]

New Members

Drinkingal:

I guess I'm confused to where people are posting things: What's the difference between posting in long term mod va monthly mod? Where do most people just hang out to say hi and such? Thanks.

[drinkingal]

New Members

Hi alcoholic, sorry I might have confused you, the monthly moderater board doesn't really get used, the modders (at whatever stage) us the long term modder board here, where we have a monthly mod squad thread, that's where we just hang out and talk about whatever we want and say hi. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f39/october-mod-squad-26-68323.html

[LaurelBranch]

New Members

Sorry in advance, this is quite long!

Hi! I'm Laurel. I posted my first reply in NN, discussing how I went AF for six months and then slipped. I hated myself so much that day, because all I've ever been taught is that there are "normal" drinkers and "problem" drinkers, and if you can't do it normally then you must quit -- and if you quit, it had sure as hell better be forever. I thought there was something wrong with me that I made a mistake in early sobriety and then began thinking, "This isn't working...maybe I can try moderating intake?" All the other sites told me that was the alcoholism in me talking (which might be true; I am still considering AF as an option...maybe even my only option. I have to look long and hard and CAREFULLY at my patterns and cravings before I ever pick up another bottle) but I began thinking about my other issues and problems in life, and how I solved THEM with harm reduction, and how maybe -- just maybe -- that's a better way for me longterm. I wouldn't hate myself so much if I knew I was allowed to drink sometimes, just not the way I was doing it before.

But what is normal, or moderating, for us? I know people have posted guidelines, but how easy is it to stick to them? More specifically, how easy would it be for ME to stick to them? Only I can know the answer to that. Only time, trial and error will elucidate. I want, so badly, to be the moderating sort of person, but I may have a long way to go and, more importantly, a bit more time trying to be AF before I try it. Since finding this site I already feel better, though, because I have that option.

I think, ultimately, I'll shoot for AF as my goal, but I don't know if I'm ready to give up alcohol entirely. I (like many others) have struggled from other addictive behaviors, which makes me a better candidate for longterm abstinence. That said, one of my addictive behaviors involved an eating disorder. You can't abstain from food; you have to learn to moderate intake of food and intensity of exercise, and I have for the most part. I keep thinking, "if I can learn to eat and exercise like a rational human being, why can't I drink like one?"

I'm not ready to begin moderating yet, I think -- following my slip I've decided to get another 30 days under my belt first, maybe longer, just to continue working on the issues that led me to abuse alcohol now with a clear head on my shoulders. But it's nice to see others who are working on harm reduction as a potential method. I just also have to be honest with myself and others on this site and in my life. If I can't "use" it safely then moderating is not for me.

Luckily, I have at least a month before I have to make any tough decisions. My goal was initially to make it a year sober before I considered drinking again. Six months is a long time, but it's of course only half of what I meant to achieve. I'm not rushing into anything; there's a lot to sort out before I take that next drink. And AA is always there if I decide, ultimately, to abstain. But I'm such a youngster (23!) and although I've been drinking socially or problematically for twelve years I keep thinking maybe I labelled myself an alcoholic too soon. It's never been a "big deal" in my family...that might be part of why I'm struggling to see it as crucial that I quit.

But enough rambling. It's wonderful to read these threads and meet you all. I appreciate your taking the time to read this.

[Eve11]

New Members

Welcome LaurelBranch!!!

LaurelBranch (LB)
No time for the long reply that I want to give you but I will eventually I promise. We are SO glad you found us. We have a thread for AF days so that's probably the best place to post for now as other sites discuss our continued drinking (moderately we hope) but sometimes that is hard to hear when one is focusing on abstaining. Also, the AF sites have great info to read there. Not the safest place to post thoughts of moderating as you may jepordize another's recovery as they try so hard to get through day 3 or 15 or... so this is the best site to discuss possible moderation in your future.

Check around our posts here as we have a ton of info regarding triggers, ideas to stay AF, etc.

I am also (in answer to Alcoholic's question) going to put a welcoming post on the monthly mod board as few of us old timers post there and that may be the first place a newbie goes and then they are not getting the direction they need.

Welcome friend. We're glad you found us!
:l
Eve11

[FarfallaP]

New Members

Hi Laurel!

Welcome to this part of MWO! I read your post in the Nest, and totally agree with the comments which praise you on your six months of being alcohol free...congratulations!
So, you already have a pretty good idea of what has worked for you in the past, and of how good it feels to NOT be chained to the notion of HAVING to drink alcohol in order to live/cope/be OK/have fun...and you can use those strategies again.
Plus, as you've also learned how to handle your relationship with food, you have even more awareness of what works for you.
For many of us, the hard part is figuring out how to handle the feelings which direct our behavior...not easy! journalling sometimes helps...and being around people who understand our struggles does, too.
Many of us here like the ideas mentioned in the thread called the TOOLBOX, which is listed in the LongTerm Abstainers section. and, another thing that helps me is to try to not let myself get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonesome or too Tired...to use HALT, as it is called.
Also, the videos listed in then very first stickies, I thin called Rain in the Heart, are sad and scary, but help to remind us that the struggle IS worth it.
Welcome again, and good luck! FarfallaP

[Alcoholic]

New Members

Welcome Laurel:

I just wanted to say welcome and eve has been a great help in directing people to the right thread, I wish I had found her earlier!!!

Just real quick, if you consider modding at all, since you didn't succeed before, consider supplements and meds to help the process. I personally found a few that have helped me tremendously and even though I'm new at recovery , I would never had any AF days if I didn't have the supplements I learned from this site.

So good luck in your journey!

[earlyriser3260]

New Members

Hello

I drink alot because I am bored. It gives me something to do. I drink every day. If I am not working then I start right away in the morning. If I have to work, then I start right when I get home. It has become such a habit that now I can't break it. I have to be drinking all the time when I am not at work.

[Alcoholic]

New Members

Hi, early riser:

I know the feeling because some members said once they quit working, they drank all day long everyday.

In the past I associated relaxation w a drink (or more) in my hand next to the beach.

But I decided that my liver cannot keep going on like this. I never had DUI's, lost jobs, lost relations, or any big losses, but I could lose my life!

If you want to get better, you can. I never thought it possible, but I am able to drink like a normal person (or less!) and not have alcohol control me. There are so many ways people are doing this. For me, it's kudzu and l- glutamine, both can be found at local stores (but got to get good kudzu though).

Look at the med section, other people stopped drinking using prescription meds like baclofen, naltrexone, Antabuse, campral, topamax.... Always do it safely, talk to doctors about alcohol withdrawal or taper off alcohol safely yourself. Post often and ask questions. People will answer, if not, just say hey, got an enormous penis here, answer my question, then someone definitely well (it's an internal joke, once you look around this site, you'll know what I'm talking about)...

Good luck!

[Eve11]

New Members

earlyriser3260;1411270 wrote: I drink alot because I am bored. It gives me something to do. I drink every day. If I am not working then I start right away in the morning. If I have to work, then I start right when I get home. It has become such a habit that now I can't break it. I have to be drinking all the time when I am not at work.

:welcome: earlyriser,

I guess you have to ask yourself, what are you accomplishing in your life with all of that drinking? Are you neglecting friends, family, children (your own or neices or nephews, etc.) that you'd be involved with if you weren't consumed with drinking all of the time. Yes, it is a habit...but habits can be changed to new habits. There is lots of good advice for you here so jump around, read posts, and see if anything resonates for you. We have a thread for trying to go 30 days alcohol free and the most recent post on it talks about habits and how to break the drinking one. Go here for that particular thread, day 14: and see if anything resonates for you: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...-11-69752.html

Sometimes hearing someone else's story that sounds like our own helps us to see ourselves a little more clearly. Good luck, we're here for you...and guess what? Someone here was once where you are now.

:l
Eve11

[earlyriser3260]

New Members

Eve11;1411416 wrote: :welcome: earlyriser,

I guess you have to ask yourself, what are you accomplishing in your life with all of that drinking? Are you neglecting friends, family, children (your own or neices or nephews, etc.) that you'd be involved with if you weren't consumed with drinking all of the time. Yes, it is a habit...but habits can be changed to new habits. There is lots of good advice for you here so jump around, read posts, and see if anything resonates for you. We have a thread for trying to go 30 days alcohol free and the most recent post on it talks about habits and how to break the drinking one. Go here for that particular thread, day 14: and see if anything resonates for you:
Sometimes hearing someone else's story that sounds like our own helps us to see ourselves a little more clearly. Good luck, we're here for you...and guess what? Someone here was once where you are now.

:l
Eve11

I had to work today, which is a good thing. I didn't have a beer until I came home at 5. I will look up that thread you mentioned. I know I disapoint my husband that we don't do things together.

[PaisleyG]

New Members

Hi, love the moderation threads. Have been dabbling in and out of threads as this is my first forum experience. I Mm a moda for sure at the moment. I have been reducing my alcohol intake since about July last year. First I stopped drinking beer. People laughed at me! That's not giving up drinking but it was a really important start for me. No more six packs which I could down one after another. No more beer or two after a work, and why not have another. Just controlling this aspect was a good start. Plus I lost heaps of weight - added bonus. Now my goal is to do 3 AF nights per week, and no more than 3 drinks ever at once. The AF nights I can do. Love it. Feel so healthy and clear headed. But the no more than 3 drinks at once I rarely can achieve. Lets face it. I really like drinking. I find myself very entertaining. So this is new and interesting and I am on a journey to a healthier lifestyle. If that ends up being no grog or some grog I am unsure yet, but it's certainly an improvement on where I was 6 months ago. Glad to be here folks.

[Stewarts]

New Members

Drinking vs. Being Drunk

PaisleyG;1469528 wrote: Hi, love the moderation threads. Have been dabbling in and out of threads as this is my first forum experience. I Mm a moda for sure at the moment. I have been reducing my alcohol intake since about July last year. First I stopped drinking beer. People laughed at me! That's not giving up drinking but it was a really important start for me. No more six packs which I could down one after another. No more beer or two after a work, and why not have another. Just controlling this aspect was a good start. Plus I lost heaps of weight - added bonus. Now my goal is to do 3 AF nights per week, and no more than 3 drinks ever at once. The AF nights I can do. Love it. Feel so healthy and clear headed. But the no more than 3 drinks at once I rarely can achieve. Lets face it. I really like drinking. I find myself very entertaining. So this is new and interesting and I am on a journey to a healthier lifestyle. If that ends up being no grog or some grog I am unsure yet, but it's certainly an improvement on where I was 6 months ago. Glad to be here folks.

I'm on two weeks of no alcohol and there was something I l realized, which you made me think about, well, actually, I was already thinking about it, but it coincided a little with what you said, keeping to your three drink limit......

I've to realize, as far as drinking goes, I actually do like to drink - I like beer, I like wine (not so much the hard stuff, although I've been thinking about hitting vodka and club sodas a little more when and if I go back to drinking). However, I don't like being drunk. I know that sounds kind of weird, but does anyone have that feeling?

Listen, I'm not a Dr. or Chemist, but I know regardless of how much or little alcohol you consume there are chemical reactions going on in your brain, and they're welcoming...but honestly, I really don't like getting to the drunk point and often will feel awful, even if I don't do anything embrassing.

Anyway, just a thought I was having.

[drinkingal]

New Members

Hi paisley and :welcome: to the mod board. It sounds like you've made some amazing progress with your drinking. I think it really is a journey and I've been tackling my drinking in a similar way. I've given up the nightly drinking 7 days a week and I when I do drink I start much later now and it's had a big impact on how much I drink. I think it's these solid changes we make for ourselves that can really bring our drinking down and get us to a point where we can mod properly or just decide to quit but it's heading in the right direction and undoing some of the old habits we've fallen into. :goodjob:

stewarts, I don't think I like getting drunk that much anymore, and I used to get plastered every night at one time. I think I like a buzz and I like the taste of alcohol but once I go beyond that tipping point into drunk, it does stop being enjoyable for me too.

[Alcoholic]

New Members

Hi everyone:

My dad visited me for 3 weeks and I was so stressed out that I drank more days when he was over. I now want to get back to mainly AF for as long as I can. I am still drinking my l glut drinks which continues to help. I was going to have him move in with me but now I don't think it's a good idea unless he is medicated on Zoloft.