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    #46
    New Members

    It is a journey for sure drinkingal. One small glass of wine tonight with dinner. This is good. Ally, sounds like having your dad live with you could be really stressful. Think on it and whether its good for you. Are there any other siblings he can live with? My mum lived with me for some time and it was such a terrible stressful time. So stressful for me I got sick and depressed from it. She was in a bad place and needed help and I was the one to help her. Now I wish I hadn't done it. Sounds mean but the impact on me was bad. Now I have a much more distant rel with her and take her in small doses. I have also decided she will never live with me again. As much as I hate the idea of a nursing home, and believe we should care for and honour our old people, I am not doing it.

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      #47
      New Members

      Paisley:

      Thank you for your point of you. I agree. It sounds bad when others say so and so isn't taking care of their elderly parents, but it's really hard because I want to be there for my dad, but I can't if he's so paranoid that everyone is stealing his money (including all family members and me), being racist, putting down people, and being so mean.

      I'm sorry to hear you had gone through something similar w your mom. Now I know not to judge someone so harshly if they have their parents in nursing home!
      Alcoholic (or Ally)

      "Only a fool knows everything.
      A wise man knows how little he knows."

      Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

      Comment

        #48
        New Members

        Hi all,

        I check in very seldom these days, as all is well with me and mine, and AL is not on my problem list at the moment...

        BUT, I really want to say "Well done!" To Stewarts on 10 days ( or more? By now) of being AF...Alcohol Free!!! IMO, every day which passes without putting alcohol into our livers is an achievement of which to be proud. And, every little bit of AF time trains some tiny part of our brains to recognize that , YES, I CAn do this...refrain from seeking the quick fix AL seems to provide.

        DG, glad to see you are further along on your journey, as you had wished to be...

        ally, glad to see you are "back in the saddle" here at MWO. My condolences on the loss of your mom. Good luck on decisions re your dad. Sometimes the paranoia you mentioned is simply a feature of getting older, and sometimes a harbinger of cognitive problems...thanks to your profession, you are probably aware of good resources in your area. Am sending you good thoughts.

        Welcome, Paisley!

        And Eve, as usual, thank you for keeping up with things...

        Happy March, everybody! Farfalla
        . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

        Comment

          #49
          New Members

          Welcome, also, to Early Riser! FF
          . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

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            #50
            New Members

            Ffp:

            Thank you and it's great to hear you doing so well yourself! Please check in often because we like to hear success stories!
            Alcoholic (or Ally)

            "Only a fool knows everything.
            A wise man knows how little he knows."

            Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

            Comment

              #51
              New Members

              Far, thanks, I appreciate that..right now its like, well, not an endurance test, but a challenge just to say I did, kind of like a marathon. I was having dinner with my sister last night, probably would've had a drink normally, but I'm still on this kick..yeah, it's over two weeks now...okay, another observation...

              I think most of us are social people. I think most of us were social with alcohol. I think most of us are so used to have something in our hand, when being social, that, well, it's more habit than anything else, well, maybe not totally, but I think you all might see what I mean.

              Last night I was at my club after run....at the tap room, not drinking, so I got a club soda, they actually serve you the little bottles. Chatting, had another one....some time went on, and I actually thought about ordering a third until I went....why????? Am I really jonesing for this much seltzer....I think it's the habit of having a drink in hand and talking...

              anyway....

              Comment

                #52
                New Members

                Stewart: I'm w you! Most of the time I don't even want alcohol but feel like to make my friends comfortable, I should have a drink in my hand! How stupid! The only time I really wanted it is when I'm stressed out. And I really haven't found a good replacement for a good stress reliever to replace alcohol, I'm sorry to say.
                Alcoholic (or Ally)

                "Only a fool knows everything.
                A wise man knows how little he knows."

                Please feel free to block/ignore my posts through your control panel.

                Comment

                  #53
                  New Members

                  probably smoke a joint...kidding...

                  I'm actually starting to get used to it. I don't think I am going to abstain from alcohol forever, but I think my drinking habits will become much different when I start again. I was at a business event, where I will have the occassional drink, but not a lot, getting hammered at a business event is, well, dumb, but I am still not drinking. I used to think that a beer or glass of wine is what I needed to warm me up, so to think to be social, but I realize, for me, it;s simply time...that drink or two I'd usually have not talking to anyone, unless someone I knew came up to me, which was often.

                  This is a good way to observe my own habits.

                  it feels good.

                  j.

                  Comment

                    #54
                    New Members

                    Hi Ally, good to see you here. I think you have to really think about the impact on yourself that having your dad live with you would have. It sounds like it could really derail you and I don't think it's selfish to look out for yourself. The truth is sometimes our elderly parents are just too much for us, I honestly couldn't imagine having my father live with me, I think I would get drunk 24/7 just to cope with it. It sounds like his visit has given you some insight into whether or not you could really take this on. good luck with whatever you decide :l

                    Hi FF! I was wondering how you were doing and am glad to see you checked in.

                    Stewarts 2 weeks is fantastic. when was the last time you went that long without a drink? Getting a bit of af time in really makes you face some situations where you have to figure out other ways to deal with it and it sounds like you're using this time to think about all this stuff instead of reaching for a drink.

                    hi paisley, how are you going? are you making any strides with your drinking?

                    Comment

                      #55
                      New Members

                      i cant seem to find your blog on the upper right hand side of your post.......... help.........
                      You've been CRITICISING yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try APPROVING of yourself and see what happens......

                      Comment

                        #56
                        New Members

                        Hi columbia,

                        Not sure whose blog you are looking for. Not everyone has one. Only subscribers can have a blog and they may choose to create one or not. However, everyone (subscriber or not) can read the blogs. You will see where to find the blog on the upper right when I post this for you to read but don't think anyone else on this particular thread has done a blog. Hope that helps.

                        And...:welcome:

                        :l
                        Eve11
                        "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                        ~Jack Welsh~:h

                        God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                        Comment

                          #57
                          New Members

                          drinkinggal, not sure, and now it's over three weeks. I know I have had periods, long periods of not drinking and going out, but I'm sure a beer or two slipped in there, I never kept track before.

                          With all that said, I think I am going to have a drink on Easter....

                          :-)

                          j.

                          Comment

                            #58
                            New Members

                            Hi everyone. I'm fairly new but have posted on some different threads until I eventually figured out that moderation is the course I seek. I started a thread detailing my plan ( not very complicated) on the monthly moderation forum. Just wanted to check in here. I'm actually not sure where the best place is to spend my time.

                            I've already read several threads where members are sniping at each other over where to appropriately post based on whether you want to be AF or moderate. Had to defend myself early on to a few minimally offensive comments giving me "advice". Anyway, I'm thinking I'll avoid the AF forums although I'm sensing that some AF members like to chime in on the moderation forums. I'm a bit puzzled as to the proper protocol. I treat people with respect and require the same. Anyway, glad to be here.

                            Comment

                              #59
                              New Members

                              freethinker;1480524 wrote: I've already read several threads where members are sniping at each other over where to appropriately post based on whether you want to be AF or moderate. Had to defend myself early on to a few minimally offensive comments giving me "advice". Anyway, I'm thinking I'll avoid the AF forums although I'm sensing that some AF members like to chime in on the moderation forums. I'm a bit puzzled as to the proper protocol. I treat people with respect and require the same. Anyway, glad to be here.
                              freethinker,

                              I guess I could say we are very liberal here as we support the concept of moderation so if someone wants to consider that as an option (trying to cut down on drinking or trying to be abstinent with the intention to try moderation) one will get support from us. It is true that it doesn't occur on some other threads because we have abstinent only threads within MWO so it can be a little confusing. Read my post "The day God served me humble pie" and you'll realize why we want to tread lightly with the moderation concept when we share space with abstinence only folks. Yes, you are right. The bottom line is to just respect each other. For example, for some of the threads that I know are abstinent only, I would never post how I had a successful week having only 4 drinks, you know what I mean? Anyway, a big :welcome: and we'll be talking soon.

                              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...pie-69760.html

                              :l
                              Eve11
                              "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                              ~Jack Welsh~:h

                              God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                              Comment

                                #60
                                New Members

                                Thanks Eve. Glad to be here and welcomed.

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