September Mod Squad

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

D I don't know if I'm brave, it may turn out to big a big mistake going back to drinking so soon, we'll see

TMH, the first week I felt so tired which really surprised me and I did have a few times where I did crave but it was because I was stressed out etc. By the second week my energy started picking up which felt good. I did do lots of cleaning, sorting, organizing and doing lots of things that just get put off, it's like I started noticing every little thing that needed doing! I also got a painting project finished off which felt really good because I just dawdle with things like that when I'm drinking and not feeling energetic. I did lose almost 3lbs which isn't a lot but it just came off without me even trying so that was an added bonus. Finding ways to fill all the extra time was the hardest, I mean I had plenty to do but I also found it hard to shut off and just relax at times. One night I couldn't sleep so I started planning a bathroom reno even though it's not going to happen anytime soon :H I just filled the time any way I could.

so I had 3 drinks on Wed night and left it at that, Thursday was AF because I don't want to get back into drinking too much during the week. I'm just walking carefully right now and I'm going to come up with some "don'ts", like only allowing myself to drink on certain days etc, I haven't figured it out yet but I don't want to get back to doing a lot of weekday drinking if I can.

[ToMyHealth]

September Mod Squad

This page of posts is very interesting.

LB - takes courage to confess. :l Be glad you are so much more aware now.

Lila - glad I could make you laugh. :happyheart: Can you call kids' Dad and explain you need a break, ask him to please have the kids this weekend? I so get needing ALONE time.

Eve - love it when you come by. You are always so humble and you are a successful modder. Have a great vaca!

DG - :thanks: for sharing about your time AF. I need some more rules also but feel as long as I continue drinking, it is too difficult for me to say No Weekdays or Only When Out or Not Ever Alone. When you're retired, your week isn't so neatly defined. Everyday is a Friday. :H Last night was an example. Went to the Kickoff Celebration where you could have as much beer or wine as you wanted in a 2 hr window. And I knew while there this was why I didn't go AF this week, I knew I'd break it last night, in other words, set myself up for failure. I enjoyed it, did not overdo it, met a most interesting woman who I feel will become a friend, feel stronger today, and more convicted at least about setting up some rules and remembering my tagline.

TGIF! See - I do know what day it is.

TMH

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

Good Morning Everyone,

This is some interesting chatter about where we are all at. I think rules are a really good start, they are just easier set than followed. I do think set rules work better than just a day by day decision on whether or not to drink or a moments decision on a limit once you have started.

If you have decided that you will not drink on weekdays then no matter what event pops up you still do not drink, if you decide you only drink from 5pm to 7pm then same rules apply......

I'm really talking to myself here as well, think I am going to make some rules for myself and see how that goes....... I'm going to start with a simple one of no drinking before 5:30 on weekdays (including Fridays) and 3pm on weekends.... sounds real simple but I get home from work sometimes as early as 3 and crack open a beer and on weekends think nothing of cracking one at 10am after getting up at 5am and getting a ton of chores done......

I will keep you all posted and hope this discussion and advice continues...........

[DfromCT]

September Mod Squad

Hi, All,

LG, I know it was a difficult confession, so hats off to you for putting it out there that you're recognizing signs you don't like. Maybe try putting a stretch of AF days together? You'll know what's right for you, but keep looking at what's going on and how you're reacting. You have the clues right in front of you, just read them.

A quick check in to all. I'm busy with work and will try to check back later. TGIFF

Dave

[vlivengood]

September Mod Squad

Hey LG how is your Friday going, haven't heard from ya since you started such a good discussion, wanted to see how your evening finished up and how you felt this morning/today.

I too feel that my # of a beers in the evening is some times increased from where I started and fear that while I had a problem with liquor and felt I didn't with beer that I may over time create a problem if I let it grow, so I am going to be more conscious of it, set some rules and make sure I get some AF days in......

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

Hey, I'm here. Just getting home good. I hestitated to write that "confession" because it made me feel vulnerable, and also because I know others "check" up on us in here. Oh well, it's out there NOW, lol. I went to bed and everything was fine...everything's not fine here though. I am fed the fk up with the crap I have to put up with, and I feel at my wits end almost. Why can't I have a good life and something to look forward to, a normal relationship where you actually DO things together and are TRUE partners who both contribute? I guess it's too much to fking ask.

Oops, potty mouth. Sorry I just wanted to vent. I'm going to have to make some hard decisions, and I'm not expecting or asking for advice. Hope it's ok to let it all out, because I just did.

LG

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

LG, sorry you are going through a rough time. I know you didn't ask for advice but can you sit BF down and have a good talk to him about things? I think you need to let him know that this isn't what you want from a relationship, and that some things need to change. If you can get him to see what he is doing and how it makes you feel, then hopefully you can come up with some solutions and get him to commit to putting some effort in?

Some times men can be like self absorbed big kids, and your BF needs a bit of a shake up to let him know that it's not all about him and what he wants, there are two of you in the relationship and that you're not going to hang around like a piece of furniture in the background. It may take time to get through to him but you sound so unhappy about things that if you're keeping quiet and not confronting him, then I don't think things will change for you. :l If your BF loves you he won't want to lose you, it's that simple, and it sound like this is causing a big trigger with your drinking, I mean heck I know that when I'm upset it's the hardest time not to drink too.

Do you and your BF ever talk like this? or do you both avoid really talking in case it ends up in a fight?

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

ToMyHealth;1377950 wrote: t is too difficult for me to say No Weekdays or Only When Out or Not Ever Alone. When you're retired, your week isn't so neatly defined. Everyday is a Friday. :H

TMH I totally get what you are saying, it's like the subtext is "I don't have to work tomorrow so why not?" . On the flip side I do work, but that has never stopped me from drinking during the week, and even though having to work the next day should be a deterrent, I'll justify it anyway and in the morning I'll just shake myself off, and hit the caffeine. :nutso: Maybe what we need is a bigger reason not to drink during the week? (I'm just thinking out loud)

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

drinkingal;1378350 wrote: LG, sorry you are going through a rough time. I know you didn't ask for advice but can you sit BF down and have a good talk to him about things? I think you need to let him know that this isn't what you want from a relationship, and that some things need to change. If you can get him to see what he is doing and how it makes you feel, then hopefully you can come up with some solutions and get him to commit to putting some effort in?

Some times men can be like self absorbed big kids, and your BF needs a bit of a shake up to let him know that it's not all about him and what he wants, there are two of you in the relationship and that you're not going to hang around like a piece of furniture in the background. It may take time to get through to him but you sound so unhappy about things that if you're keeping quiet and not confronting him, then I don't think things will change for you. :l If your BF loves you he won't want to lose you, it's that simple, and it sound like this is causing a big trigger with your drinking, I mean heck I know that when I'm upset it's the hardest time not to drink too.

Do you and your BF ever talk like this? or do you both avoid really talking in case it ends up in a fight?

If by talking about it you mean, do I bring it up every day? Yes. Do I bring it up consecutively over the course of the day? Yes. Do I scream, threaten, etc.? Yes. Do I negotiate and try and be cool about it? Yes. Has ANYTHING changed? That would be a big FAT NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

I guess what I mean LG, is have you said "we need to talk", and basically sat face to face and told him that you aren't happy, and how you are feeling? what does he say?

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

I just did that. He said I know and agreed with everything I was saying, then shut down. He didn't *refuse* to talk about it, but just won't. He turned off the game and said I want to do something with you. However, just one part of one day is not going to solve anything. I'm working on it. Thanks dg for listening. ((hugs))

P.S. Not to mention the fact that he was up all night long playing his game. I'll be lucky if he stays awake an hour. What am I doing on here? Lol, could use some of my own medicine it seems.

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

keep at it LG, small steps, at least it seems like he heard you, and no it won't change overnight most likely, but it's a start. :l

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

Yeah he's back at it...I went grocery shopping and realized that I am essentially broke. No, my card wasn't declined, but I felt worried at the amount and also knowing I won't get paid again for two weeks. BF has all but quit working. I am considering dropping Internet connection. It pisses me off that I have to suffer in order to stop him...his main addiction is playing his game online with other people. He is extremely angry at me right now because I blew up once again, when I got home from the store. He thinks he's done nothing wrong and cannot (so he says) understand what's bugging me.:H:H

[drinkingal]

September Mod Squad

Good grief LG, I didn't realize things were this bad. Why isn't your BF working? is it because of these games or something else?

[LibraryGirl]

September Mod Squad

I'm going to try and stop putting my personal business on here. I feel exposed and I don't like it. I appreciate all the support on this forum, but this is a public place and not somewhere I need to be airing my dirty laundry daily, lol.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I'll check in later.