October Mod Squad

[DfromCT]

October Mod Squad

Hi, All--

Big news: The AF streak ended officially at 101 days! I had a glass of wine with my wife, after much discussion, at dinner last night. I have to admit that the first sip tasted great, but that it wasn't the perfect match (Malbec with a seafood Ciappino) and the experience wasn't what I was dreaming it up to be. But I was able to stop at one glass with virtually no craving and or aftershocks to this point!

My wife and I were out celebrating/mourning the last night of the night nurse. We didn't have to be responsible, and I thought it was a perfect opportunity. We had a great night, and it really wasn't a big deal. One thing I promised to do (or not do!) is drink at the conference I'm going to Saturday through Wednesday next week. It would be easy to do so, as there's plenty of drinking going on, but rather than try to moderate at the conference, I'll just not drink, and won't have to worry about over indulging or starting a two or three day binge.

Can't say that I feel good, bad, different or relieved. Just had a glass of wine with my wife.

D

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

NICE..... I think you are very wise to not even considering drinking at the conference...

Glad you enjoyed sorry about the bad paring.... your the chef, what were you thinking

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Stew, just reread my comment and I think it came off rude and I was just trying to be a smart ass..... sorry about that

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

vlivengood;1394374 wrote: Stew, I seem to recall come October your married GF was going to make a decision.... is she waiting until the 31st?

LOL, sorry but it's funny the way your put it.:H:H

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

D, glad you enjoyed your one glass of vino. Sorry it was a poor pairing choice. Maybe that stopped you from wanting more anyway, lol. Agree with you and V, it's probably best not to drink at all while away with unlimited temptations...oops, that didn't sound right. Ok, of the AL variety, I mean.

My sister's partner wants a copy of the email my sister sent to me and our family. I agreed, but my bf said I shouldn't because it was a violation of my sister's privacy and that she would be very angry about it, so I told her (my sister's gf) that I couldn't get anymore involved, although I sympathize with her. It's really such a sensitive thing...my sister's children are also upset and not happy with their mom right now. I so hope she is not making a terrible mistake.

Home again...yay. Don't have any big plans, but just to relax. Hope you all are doing well.

[Eve11]

October Mod Squad

D,
Yes, your glass should have been a sauvig.blanc or pinot grigio for the proper pairing-malbec is better with a nice steak :H

I am SO glad to read that you only had 1. And I actually liked the fact that is just wasn't as exciting as you thought it would be. I had a friend from work invite me for a drink tonight. Thought, food is in the oven for dinner, boys are home, I like to be AF on school nights and not leave the teens (one needs a lot of direction with homework), so it was easy to say no. There was also a tug at my :h as I feel there is so much mod support lately with folks only having 1 like you did, or trying to be AF as much as possible that I really didn't want to have a drink.

Also, to the posters of drinking and time...I so agree. I usually don't have time to drink with preparing dinner, seeing how everyone's day went, etc. Also, we are making the gym our new drink...I'm pumping iron, running the treadmill and walking the dogs every night. Drinking only works when I am very relaxed and have time and that just doesn't happen on week nights. Am planning a wine tasting bar on Friday night, you end up with 5 glasses with 2 oz per glass so that will be the bigging drinking event that night. Well, gotta run. Take care everyone!

:l
Eve11

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

LG - BF was right you did the right thing......

Just got home LONG day left house 14 hours ago.... Got a lot to do ill catch up tomorrow

[drinkingal]

October Mod Squad

LG, I'm so glad you didn't pass the email on, that would put you right in the thick of things and that's not a place you want to be imo

D, congrats on 101 days! and I'm glad you didn't over do it. I think it's really important to listen to your thoughts and pay attention if you start slipping back into old ways of thinking because that's what gets us in trouble IMO.

Eve, thanks so much for your posts, I like to imagine one day I will be where you are

Hi to stewarts and V too!

Lila? where are you lately?

[Eve11]

October Mod Squad

drinkingal;1394663 wrote:
Eve, thanks so much for your posts, I like to imagine one day I will be where you are

DG,
Keep coming here and you will be. Our board is truly remarkable for all of us. As they say in AA "Keep coming back, it works!" Well, the mod squad working together works for me!! :thanks: to all.
:l
Eve11

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

HI everyone, I haven't this way in a long time...but I feel suicidal. I was at event last night, that was fine, I had a nice date with me, but then her friend met up with us who was drunk and angry and took it out on me. I left, upset, but knew to leave, i stopped by a bar before I went home. I drank a combo of wine and beer throughout the night which I know was stupid! What is wrong with me? Why I am making these foolish decisions, I feel terrible and want to die. Im still debating when and if I can get to work today.

I feel that bad.

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

I probably should update. I am at my office, it is a crappy day in NYC. I am starting to mellow out now, I migh have take too many Xanax's took a 1/2, then a 1/2 a little later, I feel uber tired.

MY suicidial feelings have subsized. I txting my friend, sorry, not the way I wanted the night to end, we were having such a great night until then. I need to be left alone for awhile.

My gf is sick and I haven't seen her for awhile, I think she txt'd me this morning she has the flu. I miss her, I haven't seen a lot of her this week, maybe that was a result of my misjudgement in drinking. Keep in mind, I was not that one doing something stupid, but when I felt bad about, being attacked for no reason, I went out instead of going home.

This is one of those days, I'd like to get a little done and go hom early, veg and watch movies and get reayd for my long run tomorrow. We are having a bday dinner for my dad, I know tihs sounds terrible, but I really don't feel like going...combo of a bad night and the crappy weather...I think...and the place is near my office, not my apt, it would be so much nicer if it was by the apt today...anyway, I am being selfish now and think I'm rambling do to being xanied out a little.

I feel terrible that most of the time I'm on here is when things are going bad or a little off for me, it's so selfish...I apologize.

j

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

Hi Stewarts. I'm so sorry no one was here when you were panicking. Unfortunately this forum is a hit and miss on actually getting a timely response. I'm so glad you're feeling better now though.:l I agree that it seems like a good idea to veg out tonight, maybe after you pop in on your dad's bday dinner (and leave soon after). I'm sure everyone will understand if you're not feeling great.

Doesn't matter if you only post when you need support. Someone will always be here to lend an ear, at least.

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Morning Squad!

TGIF

Stew I feel your pain.... Props for making it in to the office. Also, I can not tell you the countless number of family events I have not just "not felt like going" but literally DREADED so don't feel bad for that.

You are an athlete and know exactly what to do to get your body feeling better again and I am sure after your run tomorrow you will feel 100% better.

What part of NYC you in, I LOVE NY, I have a lot of family in Queens and some in the City, My Uncle used to be the Deputy Mayor under Giuliani....

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Hey LG, thanks, I appreciate that. My date from last night has txt'd me multiptle times...she feels terriible about this...she even said, she was so out of line and I did not see this coming. I think part of the reason this morning I was frigin out so much is its that whole anxiety thing...I kept on thinking, well maybe I did something, I don't remember! Well, apparently, the event is how I remember it and my date was very apologetic.

I even told my date that seriously, I actually, truthfully, feel sorry for her. Your friend show's up with a guy/date to say hello to you out, see what you're up to and go off one him for no reason???

She kept asking me (the friend, not my date) if I had cocaine?!? Which I didn't. I told my date this morning that perhaps she was really tweeked out or something...it would explain her erradict, aggressive behavior....Anyway, I'm glad I reached out to my date, I think if I didn't, I would in the back of the mind think that I some how did something and it would make me crazy....

I think a lot of us on this Board share a common trait in that we're empathatic and very sensitive in regards to our behaviour...we don't want to be the cause of someone's hurt or sadness, and we all know with drink, some times stupid things are said or happen.

I feel good knowing that handled myself approriately and more importantly, that my date/friend recognized that.

:-)

Thanks for the hug...

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Hey V, I just went over the events of last night and I am happy to report, as you see, I handled myself well and it was noted by the person I was with that I cared about...

I'm just exhausted from the week and this whole escapade last night didn't help. I live on the UES in the 70's. And thanks, I know will feel like a Rockstar tomorrow after my run...(I feel bloated today... :-))

j