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    #76
    October Mod Squad

    It's good that you started the thread, Eve. I still believe that, so maybe the intent will become clearer as time goes on.

    Well, I've gotten into the habit of posting on the AF mon-fri thread and skipping posting in here, lol. But let me say something! haha...have been to the flea market all day trying to make a few bucks, and did have a little success. We enjoyed it too, and I had my first "real" coconut, unsweetened with lime and chili powder. The mexicans who work the flea market sell it by the bowl, and it's apparently a popular dish over there. Funny how it's not sweet at all, but I enjoyed it. Met a lady who had a table next to us named Gracie...nice woman and enjoyed chatting to her as well. This was the second day we went to sell our "wares" (lol) in about 3 months or more...we were doing it regularly earlier this year.

    Just got home and decided to start a load of laundry and realized I had left most of my work clothes in the closet at the hotel!! Good god, I feel like an idiot. I called the hotel just now and they said they would send them to me. I really recommend La Quinta. The room was very nice, and the staff were extremely nice and helpful the whole time we were there. Plus pets stay for free!

    Anyway, going outside now to putt some holes, lol. Bf has decided real golf is more fun.

    Lg


    "I like people too much or not at all."     Sylvia Plath

    Comment

      #77
      October Mod Squad

      Eve11;1388514 wrote: I am noticing that newbies nest, general discussion and that post for brand new people has a lot of people in a fastidious recovery program and some show little tolerance to people who "think" they can still drink. Thus, the gentle nudge to come this way where they hopefully will find the support that they need.
      Hmmm... I'm kinda wary of posting... but screw it, here i go.

      OK, so Eve, I agree with LG that it's good you started that thread over in Just Starting Out. :thanks: I can also see why newbies might find from a few there less tolerance for attempting to drink moderately. I equally see, as i think we have all experienced, the huge support, warmth, understanding and toleration that comes in the threads in the General Discussion and Starting Out forums.

      I am now 21 days AF. I have never been 21 days AF since, perhaps, I was 18. I am 33 and for the last 10 years have got into the habit of drinking every night. For years I have known it to be unhealthy, but it was a habit that was sticking. Over the past few years I would either try to cut down (have 2 pints, instead of 2 pints and a bottle of wine), but rarely would moderating last more than a week.

      Now, I am on a bit of a roll. The addictive aspect of my personality is getting a bit of a high from building up these days of abstention. And i hope to get 30 days under my belt. At which point....

      At which point I want to reconsider what my relationship with AL is, what I want it to be and whether that requires changing from being AF, to moderating. I have read pretty extensively on these posts about those who have tried modding, whether once or over a period of years, and have come to the conclusion that the reality is they are better of AF.

      I do feel a bit of shame, though, for admitting that I would like to see what one month of modding might be like. IT MIGHT BE that i quickly revert back to the old habit's and sit alone in my bedroom, with a bottle of Rioja, or 4-pint cans of Bud, every single night. And if this were to be the case, then I would seriously have to reconsider whether i can actually moderate my drinking - especially left alone in my own company. On the other hand i might nor revert back to habit and find a new relationship with AL.

      Perhaps.

      But i wont know until I try, right? And what i don't want folks to think, is to think that i "think" i can drink moderately... because the fact is, I DON'T KNOW! Perhaps my desire to get drunk overides just enjoying a sup of beer now and again. Perhaps it doesn't. Perhaps, i have to live the life of someone who is 350days out of 365 AF, but can have the tiniest tipple if and when such an occasion arises. (And i sense some folks will even look at this last sentence and say "yes, but that one drink in the whole of the year is the one drink that will lead you to being right back where you were..." BUT as much as this is most certainly the case for so many, it is not necessarily the case for all.

      So sorry, this is just a ramble of what's been in my head of late. I can some it all up in 3 lines actually:
      1. Everyone's got a different and unique relationship with AL
      2. Everyone's on their own unique journey
      3. We are not here to condemn another's journey or reason for action, but to support and encourage each of us to find the path and journey appropriate for us.

      I think we would (should) all agree, whether Abbies or Moddies. Yeah?

      Boyo, it's late. Hope that makes sense. Night all :bedtime:

      RC

      Comment

        #78
        October Mod Squad

        RC, you are so correct, it IS an individual journey...and we are all here to support and encourage ourselves and each other in our journeys. And, we have so much to learn from each other, too. Good luck! FF
        . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

        Comment

          #79
          October Mod Squad

          Good morning. Hope everyone is doing well today. I think I'm going to quit with this site. I don't feel like I belong anymore really, and don't like the divisiveness that seems ongoing. I am not an alcoholic and therefore should not be giving advice to alcoholics. I was able to reign in a potentially deadly habit, and one that was nightly and excessive to what I feel comfortable with now. Whether that is fooling myself or not is really no one's business but my own. I am in control now, and I like it. There was no particular thread nor any one person who "rubbed me the wrong way" so don't look for it, or ask me what happened. Nothing happened. I just see the type of threads being started, the type of things being said, and I realize that if it makes me angry it may not be the fault of this site or the people posting, but the fault may lie directly with me. I don't belong here.

          Thank you for all the wonderful memories, and I hold all of you here on the Mod Squad near and dear to my heart.

          LG (Cindy)


          "I like people too much or not at all."           Sylvia Plath

          Comment

            #80
            October Mod Squad

            LG- I'm crushed and honestly just don't understand it, I will however respect it and miss you very very much....

            When I say I can not understand it I guess it is because none of what is said on any of the threads bothers me at all, I get on read what I want, skip what I want and reach out to who I want. I guess I am cautious about where I post but that's really it, I stick to the Mod threads for the most part.

            I think you are a valuable asset and friend to all of us here and it will be a terrible shame to no longer have you.......
            And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

            Comment

              #81
              October Mod Squad

              LG,

              I so TOTALLY agree with every single word V just posted...you must do what is best for you, but "you are a valuable asset and friend to all of us here and it will be a terrible shame to no longer have you..." FF
              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

              Comment

                #82
                October Mod Squad

                LibraryGirl;1389293 wrote: Good morning. Hope everyone is doing well today. I think I'm going to quit with this site. I don't feel like I belong anymore really, and don't like the divisiveness that seems ongoing. I am not an alcoholic and therefore should not be giving advice to alcoholics. I was able to reign in a potentially deadly habit, and one that was nightly and excessive to what I feel comfortable with now. Whether that is fooling myself or not is really no one's business but my own. I am in control now, and I like it. There was no particular thread nor any one person who "rubbed me the wrong way" so don't look for it, or ask me what happened. Nothing happened. I just see the type of threads being started, the type of things being said, and I realize that if it makes me angry it may not be the fault of this site or the people posting, but the fault may lie directly with me. I don't belong here.

                Thank you for all the wonderful memories, and I hold all of you here on the Mod Squad near and dear to my heart.

                LG (Cindy)
                Dear LG

                I find that so sad. The fault does not lie with you, your posts are always full of intelligence, humour and compassion. Sadly I suspect I know which particular post did in fact upset you - it shocked me in it's nasty tone, utterly repellent. I won't say anymore as you didn't want to expand on your reasons but please do reconsider, you obviously mean a great deal to many here. :l

                OSKB

                Comment

                  #83
                  October Mod Squad

                  i agree with all the others. LG, the book does say this is geared for problem drinkers, not necessarily alcoholics.
                  i always found this to be a safe little place on the site, really am sorry to see you leave.
                  reconsider?

                  Comment

                    #84
                    October Mod Squad

                    I'm still here. I don't like to make sweeping statements and then have to eat my words, but I think I will stay around...maybe not post as much anywhere but here (and other mod threads). Thanks guys.


                    "I like people too much or not at all."                     Sylvia Plath

                    Comment

                      #85
                      October Mod Squad

                      Yeah!! and post wherever you like, others do!

                      Comment

                        #86
                        October Mod Squad

                        I agree with how you feel, LG. I think I am a "problem drinker", not an alcoholic - I actually haven't had much trouble cutting back. No cravings or much of anything, though the first week was tough. Tired of people claiming it's impossible to moderate. For some I think it is, and they probably should abstain, but I don't identify with the abs stories I read and I'm sick of those who think their experience is universal.

                        Comment

                          #87
                          October Mod Squad

                          I'm curious, what was the post that was so upsetting? I may have to go and post something back...

                          Comment

                            #88
                            October Mod Squad

                            BondGirl;1389469 wrote: I agree with how you feel, LG. I think I am a "problem drinker", not an alcoholic - I actually haven't had much trouble cutting back. No cravings or much of anything, though the first week was tough. Tired of people claiming it's impossible to moderate. For some I think it is, and they probably should abstain, but I don't identify with the abs stories I read and I'm sick of those who think their experience is universal.
                            Exactly!!:wd:


                            "I like people too much or not at all."                             Sylvia Plath

                            Comment

                              #89
                              October Mod Squad

                              Hi LG,

                              My face is smiling, now that you have reconsidered! Your experience, your insights and your way with words speak to us all...look forward to continuing to learn from your sharing of your journey and your opinions. FF
                              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

                              Comment

                                #90
                                October Mod Squad

                                Phew!!!!! Proud of u for reconsidering takes a lot of courage and we all appreciate you!!!!!!
                                And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                                Comment

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