October Mod Squad

[drinkingal]

October Mod Squad

hi stewarts, I think a lot of us drink when we're hurt or angry, just as a way of dealing with our emotions. Other people probably mouth off at the person, or shrug it off. I know for me anger has always been a big trigger, so if something upset me and made me mad, drinking was always my way of stuffing those feeling back down, so I don't think there's anything "wrong" with you per se. It's hard when people piss us off not to drink, but me, I'm just trying to get better at feeling the anger, and putting it in it's place which isn't necessarily on my shoulders, you know? Anyway, I'm glad you feel better and can now see that it was her issue that caused this. There's just no way to stop people from upsetting us, so I think all we can do is change how we deal with it and try not turn to alcohol to do that.

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Stew, glad you got some anxiety relief but use it as a reminder of what AL in excess or bad situations can do to you...... for a while there you thought you could have been in the wrong and could possibly not have remembered things correctly and that COULD have turned out to be 100%! true you are just lucky it wasn't the case this time..... sorry to sound harsh but I personally like to try and learn from "Close Calls" instead of the real thing!

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

yes

vlivengood;1395472 wrote: Stew, glad you got some anxiety relief but use it as a reminder of what AL in excess or bad situations can do to you...... for a while there you thought you could have been in the wrong and could possibly not have remembered things correctly and that COULD have turned out to be 100%! true you are just lucky it wasn't the case this time..... sorry to sound harsh but I personally like to try and learn from "Close Calls" instead of the real thing!

V, you're totally right. I was drinking responsibily, well, until I left and went home...but yeah, youre right, if I simply would've went home and didn't make a pitstop, I would've have slightly doubted myself and would've felt better waking up instead of this slow start...

To think about it, I've had a rough couple of weeks...my friend and his son died trajically in a car accident, then being busy with my usual stuff, I feel I need a break from the world...

[Eve11]

October Mod Squad

Stewarts,

I've missed some posts to see where the suicidal feelings came from but I for one always take those kinds of remarks very seriously as I've lost quite a few people to suicide and have taken care of many patients who have tried but haven't succeeded.

My good friend's son just jumped off of a 4 story building. Horrible alcoholic, was in rehab, got out...and I don't know what happened. Did he drink again and get depressed? Did he get depressed because he knows he can't drink again? And always, always, I worry a bit when posters here are mean to each other. We never know what that other person is going through, how much on the edge they may be. We must always remember that we come here for support, not to have someone beat us down, make us feel depressed, etc.

Stew, MWO offers emergency information for those in crisis. If you ever feel suicidal, please call someone. I think they have a suicide hotline listed as well. LG was right, it may be a goofy time of the night or day and no-one (who would want to support you) may be online when you most desparately need help.

Also, remember that suicide leaves all of those who love you with horrible guilt ridden feelings, "What could I have done?" "I should have called him...I should have made time to get together." and on and on.

Have a good run my friend and know that we are here to support you!
p.s. Have an excellent marathon!! That'll kick some endorphins in!

Addendum: When I made the comment about folks being mean to each other, I am not referring to any posts you have received from anyone that I am aware of. I am just making a generalized statement as I have seen some very mean posts on these boards that some people have sent to one another. We have to always remember, we are all "real" people with feelings.

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Eve and all, thank you for your support, really, I was just exhausted and had to deal with an unfortunate jerk last night. I left work early took a nap and now heading for dinner. I'll post more tomorrow. Looking forward to some more rest and my long run tomorrow.

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

Glad you were able to leave early and get some rest Stewarts. Hope your run goes well tomorrow too. Thank you Eve for posting the reminders about the suicide hotlines.

Well it's Fri eve and I'm home with a glass of wine. I'm also making a chicken curry soup. Looking forward to that!

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weekend!

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Nice post Eve!

Stew..... Glad u are doing ok... happy b-day Dad

LG- sounds like a wonderful evening.... Hope your soup is yummy!!!

Headed out I'll check in later or tomorrow!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE

[Eve11]

October Mod Squad

LG,V, and Stew, the most recent posters...and all

Have a good mod or AF week-end. LG, the soup does sound good!!

:l
Eve11

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

Thanks Eve. It's a new recipe...I boiled the chicken and then took it off the bones (just now, lol), added two cans of coconut milk to the chicken stock, pepper, salt and red curry paste (new one on me)...half a head of cabbage, yellow onion and bell pepper...also threw a chunk of butter in hee hee...added chicken back and now it's stewing. MMMMMM smells divine!

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

10pm home in Jammie's started some laundry did some dishes and straightened up a bit.... Gunna doze off on couch in front of TV....

Went to gallery.... Stopped at hip Resturant for a beer went to downtown casino and gambled a bit (came out ahead) had 3 beers..... Went to friends for family b day BBQ where I had 4 glasses of water.....

Bummed I feel like I drank for nothing but empty calories.... Honestly considering just giving it up..... Those beers did not make me feel half as good as my home, Jammie's and couch do....

[Eve11]

October Mod Squad

vlivengood;1395864 wrote:

Bummed I feel like I drank for nothing but empty calories.... Honestly considering just giving it up..... Those beers did not make me feel half as good as my home...

Eurkeka V, and that's what modders who turn to abstainers finally decide. Sometimes continuing the cycle of drinking just isn't what it's cracked up to be.

The beautiful thing about our mod board is people can sway, ponder, abstain or moderate and we are here to help you figure out what works for you. Abstain and fall off the wagon, you can come here...drink too much and want to drunk post (can't drunk dial but you can drunk post)...well, guess what...you can come here. Everyone is welcome to test the waters of whether they think they can moderate because we all need choices.

I will be honest and say I have bit my tounge when some people have posted certain things that are clear to me that they cannot and will not be able to moderate, but I have to say most eventually leave the site when it is evident that they cannot moderate. And I don't mean that as a negative thing. There is true beauty in giving up the delusion of thinking you can drink when you cannot and living a wonderful AF life. There is also so much more support here for abstainers than moderators so that helps as well.

And as a post note as online stuff is so misconstrued, that was probably a remorseful comment for the moment V and you will be back tomorrow. But perhaps this post will help just one other person who pondered...should I keep drinking??...and that is why you were meant to send it.

:l
Eve11

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Well put Eve...... I am sure I will drink again.... Probably even tonight but I think as long as I am trying to loose the weight I just am not enjoying it.... To consumed with the calorie count and that is what lead me to liquor last time....

I really want to try an evening out AF and see how that goes.....

Got a bit of a headache this morning... Gunna take some aspirin and go back to bed for an hour and get up... Hit the gym, do some shopping with a friend and then get my massage I scheduled at 1:00 today.....

Hope everyone had a nice Friday and is enjoying their weekend....

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

V, either resign yourself to lose slower because you *are* going to have AL, or don't drink while you're dieting. I know you said losing weight is a trigger to drink the hard stuff and you said you couldn't control your intake (of liquor). Just my opinion too. Feel free to ignore me.:l I do know from studying weight loss so extensively, and especially recently, that if you have one or two days of higher calories--even very high--you can still lose weight. Check out the JUDDD diet. I think you might actually like it, and it allows for including AL or any other treat you desire. The only caveat is that you must consume 500 or less (not much less) calories every OTHER day. On Up Days, you can have up to 1900 calories and still LOSE. People who are doing it love it! The only reason I'm not trying it is because I'm afraid of failing on the Down Days. (Johnson's Up Day Down Day Diet). I still may try it in the future.

Well, it's Sat. morning and I have a little headache. However, I had a headache before I went to bed too, and all day yesterday. LOL, I think I'm a bit dehydrated so after this coffee, hee hee, I'll be trying to consume large quantities of water today. I had about 4 glasses of wine and actually left a sip or two in my last glass and started reading a new book before I went to bed (a good test of whether I've drank too much is if I can still read, lol).

Got several different options of what I might do today, so just chilling right now and thinking on it. Hope everyone has a great day!!!

:hLG

[ToMyHealth]

October Mod Squad

Good morning! Feel really good today. Had 2 drinks last night, slept fairly well, did a 2 mile run/walk (playing golf later so didn't want to do too much) and did some lower body floorwork and stretching.

V- you have come a long way from doing shots to sticking to just beer and now contemplating cutting that out as well.

Eve - liked your post.

LB - How is your low carb plan going? I truly have a hard time figuring out what to eat when I don't do carbs. I have tried the JUDDD plan. I have also done Fast-5 where you eat every day as much as you want but all within a 5 hour window. Am entertaining going to a Fast-8 on non-golf days at least. In fact today could be one of those days. Have not eaten yet and if I put off til 11:00 that means as long as I have my dinner by 7:00p I'll have had a F-8 day.

Here's to a good Saturday!

TMH

[LibraryGirl]

October Mod Squad

It's going well TMH. I joined a site called Low Carb Friends and there's so much information there, I can't decide what recipe to try next, lol. I definitely don't feel deprived in the least. Just had an almond meal/flax meal muffin for brekki with marscapone cheese. Decadent!

Sounds like you are doing well too with all that exercise. Hope you have a great day!