Snowflake's Chance in Hell

[lindylou63]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

I would like to be a social drinker, but i dont know where to start to find out if its possible. I am very very familiar with all my 'old triggers' that wuld sending me screaming to the wine, if i am self aware, can i drink socially in the future? I also believe quite strongly that in the past when i have gone on a bender, ive done it because a) i guess i wanted to and b) it is what was expected of me!?!!? does b help or hinder? I've been in several 'pub situations' for genunie parties and celebrations and been perfectly happy not to drink, but have wondered that with balanced mind, i could have easily just had a couple to drink and gone home happy. dont know weather to attempt/risk/try it - any advice much appreciated

[satori]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Tawny,

We could start a pariah colony!

Yep - moderation IS possible.
Do not ever get the feeling that you are somehow less worthy because you are not abstaining - it probably takes MORE willpower to moderate because you are putting yourself into the "danger zone" every time you do drink and you then have to have the strength of will to stop - with alcohol already in your system.

I too am successfully (for now anyway) moderating.

I initially set myself a limit of 2 drinks on no more than 2 days of the week, because when I set out on this journey, I could not realistically see me abstaining - alcohol WAS my life!

But - the amount I drink now is such a reduction for me from my old pattern of drinking, that for me, it IS essentially abs!
In reality, I may well end up abs - not because I have to because I can't control it any other way - but because there is no real "logic" to me drinking at a very low level like this.

By this I mean - I used to drink alcohol for the buzz - but I never drink to that stage any more, so why bother to drink alcohol at all?
(I could usually stop at 2 drinks - but if I poured the third .......somehow the brake pedal stopped working, and :toasted: - that is why I set my limit at two!)
I am well past the stage where I would feel the need to drink to "fit in" - it is nobody's business but my own what I pour down my throat. So I don't feel the need to drink alcohol for those reasons either.

Time will tell.

If mods is working for you - GOOD ON YA!

Feel proud - you did what it takes to get YOUR problem under control - in a way that fits YOUR life!

Take care

Satori
xxx

[Mighty Mouse II]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Hi Everybody. Like Tawny, I too have found success in moderation. It took me nearly six months though, modifying my behavior overtime, little by little. But it can be done.

Cassy, that was a very moving thread you put through yesterday. I don't like to use the term "normal drinker" because there is no such thing. Everyone's body handles alcohol differently. But I believe that if you follow the AMA guidelines of no more than two glasses of wine a day, which they claim is healthy, most reputable doctors would not say that is signs of alcoholism. At least, not the ones I know or the studies that I have seen.

On the other hand, though, if you are 35 days AF, and you are happy, I would not go back. I'm not saying that you can't moderate, but alot of people do have trouble with it. The bottom line is you have to ask yourself if you are willing risk losing all that you have gained in your AF. If you're happy without drinking why go back? And is it worth it? These are the questions you will have to ask yourself! I wish you luck, as these are not easy questions to answer and even tougher ones to live by once your choice is made.

Tawny, it was sure nice to see someone else posting here!!!!!

Love to all,
MM

[Saint Jude]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

I must admit that in the year & 3 months that I've been here, I have had a few ruff spots with moderating ( I think 3 real tuff ones) But looking at the over all picture...
The past year +, has been better for me moderating here; than I've done in the past 30 years!
So I have to say, YES moderating does work.
For me it takes daily work, because I really enjoy my beer(especially after work)

I've decided hard liquor is not an option for me- at Hubby's request.. my "evil twin", who's a castrating bitch seems to pop out when I drink that.
I respect his opinion on that..plus I don't like hangovers, so it makes sense to avoid it, for me.
It is so nice to be able to enjoy a beer, (or maybe a glass of wine once in a while) like at family gatherings- before it was always awkward around my family because most of them like to drink some & if I wasn't... it felt like I was an "alien"... Now it's not such a "big deal"... if Judie's drinking or not.

[wwbarb]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

I have been abs for 72 days (or will be) and am going on vacation. This will be my chosen time of trying to moderate. We are going to Nevada and have been planning moderation for this with great fear for some time. Your words have inspired me. I am only going to have as many drinks as I "enjoy", not do my best to empty their liquor cabinets.

Thanks all.

[Guest]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Good luck Barb!!
mar

[mamatee]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

I want to be a pariah! Truthfully, I came into this wanting to moderate, but I'm not ready to try it yet. And, wierd thing is - I'm enjoying abstinence, really truly loving it. However, I want to be able to moderate - that's what brought me to this board today. Want to know more about it as prep for the future.
Thanks!

[cjam21]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Well I hope so!

I for one am only hoping for now to cut down and control and make goals for each day - no I'm not to two yet, but i am proud to have had a few days where it was significantly less than my normal ten and my supplements are not here yet. Hoping to have the funds to order CD's soon. Have not made the big step toward thirty days with nothing. I keep going through my list of why and drinking lots of water- and making baby steps and I am looking forward to the day when i can have two or none and still be having a great time with my friends or remembering my time with my kid!

[Pebbles]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Tawny, I'd like to thank you for this thread too. As a highly regarded member, you've got people rethinking long term mods... and that is what I for one came to MWO for.

By following the program I am truly moderating now and have shifted my mindset to being able to really enjoy one or two drinks and then stop. When I was thinking I had to Abstain, all I thought about was drinking and NOT drinking, in a way I was more addicted trying to abstain. I was also addicted to this site and I think that's maybe the point.

Now I'm not so obsessed with Not Drinking, I'm out and about doing stuff not staying in logged on to the site. I still love the site, love to see what people are up to and want to pop in regularly, but now I can actually switch the laptop off and get on with something whereas at the start I couldn't, so maybe that's why Long Term Mods is a quiet Group?
lots of love
xxxx

[nancy]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

tips

I am sure successful moderation is a seemingly elusive goal for many of us here.

can you please post something like : Tawneys top tips for moderating

[MKR]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Hey Pebbles, That is exactly how I felt. If I was to abstain I was going to think about it a whole lot more than letting it fall of the radar and just have the occasional drink. Good Job.

Nancy, I posted this in long term mods one year anniversary. I feel these are all little tips that helped me get over the hump:

The CD's were the biggie for me. I just had that switch click for me about 2 weeks into them.
Wanting sobriety helped. Looking at MODS as though I am really in ABS with the occasional evening of a drink or two is a good attitude for me.
Getting into an exercise routine at my bewitching hour helped change my habit.
Not having my favorite alcohol around the house really helps keep the demons at bay.
With this program in place I was able to stop smoking January 1st of this year! Other than these boards I have now thrown all addictions away!!
Getting up and feeling great, seeing the whites of my eyes so white and clear along with my skin being super healthy now - that helps too!

THE NUMBER ONE keep me on track item is this board. Coming here, hearing stories, receiving the constant love and support from you wonderful members, offering support, and being accountable on the drink tracker probably plays the biggest role in my success.

I know you can do it Nancy! xo Mary

[Mighty Mouse II]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Hi Everybody, been away for awhile, missed all of you a great deal!!!

Nancy, you can do it! Everyone here has great advice about moderating! For me what worked was setting daily goals that were achievable but challenging -- coming on this board and talking to everybody about what was working and what wasn't working and why. Finding my "hot buttons" that would make me want to drink and then create ways to plan for them so that I could get past them. Then, once I would master those goals, I'd make new, more challenging ones until I finally got where I wanted to be. It takes time, but basically it creates behavioral modification changes that last.

Tawny, this is a great thread. Thanks for starting it.

LOL,
MM

[eustacia]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Great to see so many of my old pals here!

Tawny and everyone: moderation can work if you work the program. I am writing this even though I let myself off the mod bus late in March and, I think, once drank four drinks within 24 hours. But the kicker is that I didn't have to have those drinks. Small admission: several of my glasses of wine over the course of the month were soporifics--3 a.m. gulps in order to get at least a couple hours of sleep. In general, however, I chose to let myself off the bus when I drank and I had fun! I've been away so much over the last few weeks that I haven't been keeping a log of my drinks but I now have access to my computer and I can imagine that my April log will look a lot like my March log--I'll drink some days and not drink others, and my average drink count will be somewhat under one drink each day.

MKR--I've not told you this but I've been so proud of your ability not only to control your drinking, even when your life was not giving you the easiest time, but to cease smoking. I've never smoked but my, vibrant, life-embracing mom was unable to shake the nicotine habit, and I lost her to that addiction. My heart will forever be rent by the cruelty her smoking imposed on her body and by her untimely death, but you have spared your loved ones that hearbreak. Kudos, kid!:rockon: And thank you for reposting your anniversary account. Words like yours give relative newbies like me courage to fight the break the grip of this Lorelei of chemicals.

Pebbles, Mike, Monica, Judie, wwbarb, Satori and everyone else (sorry, my brain bogs down with long lists of names), so good to see you again!

My love to all.

:heart: E

P.S. to Nancy-- You GO, girl!

[Elizabeth]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Hi Tawny I hope to be where you are one day. The memories of bad experiences (topped by the last one!) scares the hell out of me, but as you know I tried Moderation this Easter weekend and I remained sober. I guess at this stage I will abstain most of the time WITH PRE-PLANNED occassions where I will slowly keep training myself to moderate. I have a long long way to go before the fear leaves me. Reprograming myself is the key word to Moderation and I've yet to see whether it'll work for me. Big, big gaps of no booze will be the very least I opt for though. I need to know you guys are there.:thanks:

[Mighty Mouse II]

Snowflake's Chance in Hell

Elizabeth, it sounds like you are doing great!!! I think you are right, moderation does require reprogramming and developing strong behavioral moderation skills. But it sounds like you are well on your way. And we will be here for you!!! Good luck!

E - Its good to hear from you again too! I hope things are going better for you!

LOL to all!!!

MM