July Mod Squad

[nonamegirl]

July Mod Squad

Lila, you know, I think we don't brag on ourselves enough. You definitely SHOULD. You have done a great job modding, and it is worth celebrating! Yahoo! And you are my role model. Thank you!

Lasha, I googled the Eddlewood. Oh, golly. What a lovely place that is! If I ever get to the Shetlands, I will certainly stay there. And if you ever come to Montana, I can strongly recommend a B&B called Swan Hill. It has saved my life a couple times!

How is everyone doing on hump day? (I think maybe we ought to start a movement to celebrate it... umm, any excuse for a little action?)

I didn't sleep well last night, but hopefully a bike ride to my volunteer job will work out the gloomies and all will be well. I am trying to keep the deer out of my backyard and garden. If anyone has any ideas, I would surely love to hear them.

[Lila]

July Mod Squad

i saw a fenced in garden with sticks woven in sticking kind of up and sideways. i thought it was an arty design, it looked like huge chopsticks. then i learned it was to keep deer out. do you have a fence they jump over?
i love being in my yard and garden. i wish summer would just go on forever.
modding has gotten super easy. but this is the only place i can talk about it, so thanks!

[nonamegirl]

July Mod Squad

Hey all.
Well, I am not very proud of myself this morning. Went way over my limit last night. I actually wrote this entry earlier, deleted it, and then decided that I can't just share good news with you all, I have to be honest about my downfalls.

On the mornings when I wake up having not had anything to drink the night before, or having stuck strictly to my limit, I feel very good about myself. I wonder why in the world I would exchange that feeling for this one. Stupid. But, I know what to do to fix it, and I am very very glad to have another day to enjoy life with. And I can be happy that I am having a whole lot more days of not drinking than of drinking too much. Step by step in the right direction will get me there... this was just a bout of running in the wrong direction for awhile. No excuses.

Lila, thanks for the fencing idea. We do have a fence around the yard, but the rascals jump it. I even put up some posts with streamers to try to extend the height of the fence, but they seemed to have figured that one out. Oh, well.

[Eve11]

July Mod Squad

Hey dear friends,

First, thanks for the p.m. Lila.

All goes well with me. Just have not been in the mood to post and don't really have an explanation for it as it can be even addicting to coming here. Have just been busy with life and vacationing but eventually my heart strings pull toward my posting buddies here and I become curious as to how everyone is doing and hoping they are all doing well in their mod or abstinence goals.

We always tend to drink more than normal when on vacation. Actually almost every day as there is always a fun happy hour or dinner out or event to go to. However, when I limit it to two and we start early (like 6 or so) I find it doesn't really interfere with my sleep and don't feel hung over at all so it works. Have just been fighting the craving to have more than two by just letting time pass and then the craving subsides. That has been my ongoing downfall however, that sometimes a bad craving happens once I have a drink and I do have more than the two intended for. Have learned through time and experience that that is just not a good plan for me. More than 2 and I feel it the next day and I hate that feeling more than anything.

Anyway, on vaca again until Sunday. Then back to the real world for a couple of weeks and then vaca again (we have to beat the heat and it gets to 118 or so where I live) so the coming and going definitely helps. Take care all!

:l
Eve11

[Lila]

July Mod Squad

NNG, yes, baby steps. If its going down, that is what matters. Kudzu helped me keep amounts down. Also, I wonder if theres a plant deer hate? But they'd just avoid it, I guess. Have you looked on amazon? Maybe the smell of wolves somehow?
Eve, good you're taking vacations! 118 is just crazy! Good to hear from you!

[Stewarts]

July Mod Squad

Eve, it was so great to see your message this morning, it brought many things to light for me, I think. I have not been modding well at all as of lately. As I stated before, it's not like I'm going out and getting crazy and bad things are happening, it's just when I do, I am drinking way over what I call my mod limit and staying out too late. Last night was one of these nights. Now, I get up and go to work and I'm a somewhat productive citizen, but feel crappy about it as we can all relate to.

I think you hit with the summer and vacation. . . .it tends to be, well, let's admit it, fun. I was at a work event Downtown, then left with some colleagues for a drink and my boss and I headed back uptown and stopped by a place near us that was JUMPING! It reminded me, well, both of us, what it was like when we were in our twenties, it was that type of place. We leave, but I decide to stay out at a place near me for two more beers.

I had a LONG week. I;m exhausted, both from work and recreation, I'm like what am I doing to myself?!?! I was telling myself on my commute over that I've become this real piece of sh#$ person and a lowlife. I think I'm being too hard on myself, but I think I need a vacation from myself.

I kind of reconnected with an old girlfriend and she's in town and wants to go to lunch today. I havent heard from her yet, honestly, part of me just wants to take care of whatever things I need to do in the morning and just drive to my summer place in New England and veg out.

I was initially planning on posting here begging for help, but Eve, your post put things into perspective...I'm not a bad person, I'm just stressed, maybe even slightly depressed, and looking for some release, however, I DEFINITELY would appreciate some tips on getting back to my mod place. I am currently taking no supplements or anything like that.

Thank you all.

j.

[nonamegirl]

July Mod Squad

Hey, Stewarts. Good to hear from you. I love reading your posts about New York, as it brings back so many good memories from when I was there for the 2010 NYC Marathon. I love the energy of that place! We are actually coming back the end of this month for a week...don't know if we'll get into the city. You sound like life is pretty tiring right now, and I can really relate. I struggled with depression all winter and spring, even though I was keeping up on the exercise. The one thing that has REALLY really helped my depression, and it surprised me that it was such a dramatic help, was acupuncture. Might be worth a try. My acupuncturist is also helping me work on my modding - (not her fault that I slipped the other night) and it is a relief to have someone offer some help.

Eve, it is lovely to hear from you again. We miss you! I so much appreciate your supporting comments that maybe I am not the only one who is struggling. You, who have such success, also still work the program. Thanks for telling me that. If you can do this thing, I can do it.

So, this is the beginning of the big weekend. Tomorrow I have a 5k race, then the half marathon on Sunday. Luckily the weather seems to be cooperating with somewhat lower temps. I certainly don't expect to break any speed records, but if I shave a minute or two off last year's time, I'll be thrilled. Slow and steady for this ol' girl.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!:alf::alf::alf:

[Stewarts]

July Mod Squad

nonamegirl, 2010 NYC marathon was my best one. I finished in 3:47:33. I am training for 2013, have my long run tommorrow. Good luck with your races, impressive, a 5K then a 1/2....

And yes, thank you, that's all it's really been for me,a tiring week. I worked a lot and went out a lot, and perhaps I'm paying for it a little. In all reality, this past week was kind of like what my days were like in my twenties, that's all....no harm, no foul. I think most of us are in this situation, because we just don't like the sick and tired feeling anymore, so when it happen, at least for me, we feel bad about it.

I told this old fling that I really need to get out of town, if I meet her for lunch, I'd have to leave tonight because of traffic, and he knows when she can meet for lunch, she has a lot of work meetings. I'd be boring company now anyway. She's really sweet and will understand, it be much better if we planned a weekend together anyway.

I just need to get back on track. I told my therapist once before, this is why I lock myself and my apartment and don't do anything some times, to protect myself, from myself.. LOL. I also saw a lot of old friends in my business I haven't seen in awhile, so perhaps I was in a giddy mood and we were all reminising.

Acupuncture sounds interesting, I'll have to look into it....anyone ever do any hypnotherapy?

j.

[nancy]

July Mod Squad

nostalgia for partying

Stewart,

You say you are going back to your 20s. How old are you now? If it's not that much age-appropriate anymore anyway that's a great excuse to avoid it. I would avoid happy hours and any other event where people are drinking early and where booze is cheap. That includes boating.

If you were to go out at 8 and drink one drink an hour with food you'd probably be o.k. if you left early enough.

Getting older is a great natural way to drop bad old habits. I think there are internal things that are triggers but there are also just bad environments that encourage over-drinking.

I don't know if it's possible for you to cut all this out. I wonder do you have more mature friends who drink responsibly, with meals, but don't go out bar hopping anymore?

Think about the positives you want out of this, not the deprivation.

Maybe a stable relationship with someone who doesn't drink that much would also help.

[Eve11]

July Mod Squad

Stewarts,

My huge post just got deleted so can't repeat it at this time. Just want to say that I was glad to see your post and glad you felt my post helped. I loved what Nancy had to say. She has such great insight. Big hello to nonamegirl and to everyone else who posts here or lurks. Hugs to all.

:l
Eve11

p.s. will post more when able but too late now and so disappointed that I lost such a long post. Don't have word on the vaca computer and didn't think I timed out so just typed and typed and suddenly it was gone! Too tired to repeat it.

[nonamegirl]

July Mod Squad

Howdy, folks!
A beautiful weekend! I thoroughly enjoyed both my races, though didn't go any faster than last year. But oh, my was it fun. Running into the sunrise is such a glorious way to celebrate being alive! If you ever have a chance to come to western Montana, you certainly should do so. This is just about the best place to visit, to live, to enjoy. As the race started at 6:00 am yesterday, a great blue heron flew just over our heads. I took it as his blessing - though probably he was upset that we were temporarily taking over his space. In any case, what a glorious day.

Hope your week is beautiful, my friends.

[Lila]

July Mod Squad

Stewarts, I have done hypnotherapy. What I know is it works for some people (people with great imagination, i think) and not so much for others. I did it to lose weight after a pregnancy. It worked great!

NNG, I wish summer just went on forever! Sounds like a wonderful day.

[nonamegirl]

July Mod Squad

Hey, all. Must be slow summer days, or something that not many folks are posting. That's okay.... when the time is right, we'll hear from everyone.

I am dealing with the typical blues after a big event. You work towards something for months, go through it just fine enjoying all the excitement, and then.... wow, there's nothing to work for or towards or .... Nah. I'm fine. Just tired and a bit blue. Going to sign up for some more races today, so I can once again look down the road to a goal.

Take care, everyone. Keep cool, if the heat is upon you. Stay away from the flames if you are in forest fire areas. Enjoy the sun but not too much, and remember, moderation in all things.

:h

[Stewarts]

July Mod Squad

Hi all! And Nancy thanks for your post (and Eve) I know exactly what you mean. First, nonamgirl, yes, I know what you mean about those blues after a big race...it's worse after a marathon.

Nancy, I am 38. You hit a lot of the nails on the head. Last night is a perfecrt example. Iny my business, there tends to be a lot of free booze, last night, no exception, especially in the summer, when people like to have events. I was good at this one, I even had a date later...then I had a few beers...I then met my date, who was out before as well. We had a nice time, but then had some perseco and wine. Still ok, then went to a place near me and had some weird bubbly red wine I never had before. The point, it was a fun night, we had a good time, and I think I like this girl, but yes, I would've much rather spent it the way you said....your ideal night...go out at 8, dinner and a drink, is my ideal night. So, again, I thought I was getting back on my mod track, but it is causing some difficulty.

Not to make excuses, summer has something to with it, letting loose, and I was check my schedule to see what I have the next day, mainly the morning, to not be irressponsible.

Nancy, you're next great point, the relationship notion. Ironically, when I am in a relationship, and it's going well, I tend to be at my best in all aspect of my life...more ironic that I am divorced, but, that relationship unfortunately fell apart.

So, I hear what you're saying. I even told my therapist, I think I am just lonely right now, and when I start having fun or feeling good, I want to keep that feeling..... It's a little frustrating for me right now. In the past, I'm usually good at monitoring this. Now, it's like an every other day or week thing with me. It's weird, a lot of guys would dream of my situation, I am honestly happy with the alternative.... (sigh)... what to do... I think frustrated is really what I feel now... it's not like I am waking up on street corners, beat up or in weird places....I just don't like the bloated sick and tired feeling as you pointed out... Damn, I'm frustrated..

later.

j.


P.S. Hahaha, outside of my parents, no, I have no mature friends that you made reference too...sucks...wish I did. You are the only people that know what I'm going through (and my parents), my friends have no idea..

[Stewarts]

July Mod Squad

I thought I'd re-post. I got through the day fine. I did go on my other date and I didn't drink. She actually had a dinner to go to after, which I was kind of glad, I just really want to meet and chat for a bit. It was at the tap room at my club, I drank two cranberry and club sodas (no AL), and she just had water. I got home, had a late-ish dinner, watched a little TV and had a good night sleep.

The previous date must've went well because she wants to see me again, although, we both agreed to do something a little more relaxing. She's 31 (I'm 38), I was even thinking back to when I was 31 (which I would've been, not married yet, but very much so exculsively with my ex-wife, she's a few years younger), if we ever had nights like that, and we did - I'm sure this woman still may be in that phase of her life, somewhat, I'm sure she saw not as much of a big deal as I was. I'm not trying to make excuses, I'm just trying to keep things into persepctive, that I'm a little hard on myself. This doesn't mean that I want to go back to the ways of my youth, I very much want to get back on the new track I've developed as of lately...I'm just getting a little perspective.

Thanks for listening.

j.