October Mod Squad

[Emmy Lou]

October Mod Squad

Hello all! NNG so your writers group is poetry? How wonderful! I love listening to a spoken word radio show each week. What a great thing to be doing. Reminds me that I haven't been to a life drawing session for almost a year. Creativity is a good distraction.
Lasha I dont know you very well but I can relate to what your wife is going through. Society needs to change the attitudes towards any form of mental illness and the medications too. Anti depressants really helped me at one time in my life. I wish you and your wife the kind of success that I have had in overcoming whatever the problems are that you are facing. It's good that you are facing them together. I hope you don't mind me saying so.
It's late again, and I worked a 13 hr day today. I have a 9am meeting to present my work all the way over the other side of town so I will be going to bed now.
Thanks All for being there,
X
Em

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Hi Lasha, I know what you mean...the good AL can bring. I was out last night with my parents, I had a few glasses of wine and a substantial meal, Dad's birthday. I then went to club around the corner, I thought it would be good to see some familiar faces. As NNG knows, I am having a rough time right now. That was a good idea on my part...one of my friends there knew I was going through a rough time.

I then went home, stopped by a bar for a drink, which I didn't finish, a beer, spoke to a guy a knew, but knew it was time to get home. I think I was starting to feel happy, why I stayed out.

I woke up this morning, fine. However, my depression is still creeping in over something that happened to me. I won't go into the whole details, but this does involved AL. I met an old girlfriend on Monday, one of which we never had any real closure, and it was a messed up scenario to start off with...I had planned on not drinking...well, I decided to drink and hard and it ended in a fiasco...constantly calling her all night, texting, etc....it was embarrassing. I did apologize the next day...with of course multitude of texts and one vm message, I wanted her to hear I was sincere. NNG, you will be glad to hear I am leaving it alone now.

I started feeling ok about it. All my friends, even NNG, know the situation well, and know, while my reaction was not rational, considering what I had been going through, I shouldn't beat myself up over it. Now if I make this a habit....which I don't foresee happening.

I think I'm down, well, because of the AL...even though I didn't get drunk last night, and I'm not hung...I need my wits about myself.

I just feel like a loser with no hope...in life that is.

[Lasha]

October Mod Squad

Hi All,
Thanks for the kind words and things are definitely looking up for my wife and I.

Emmy Lou, Yeh it is good to work this thing through together and of course I don't mind you saying so thanks.

NNG, Just a wee tip from my alcohol advisor when I used to see him was when you feel like a drink it's caused sometimes by the lack of sugar we get from alcohol so eat sweet things and pig out on carbs to fill you up. Seems to work for me.

Stewarts, I don't know what you're going through but my heart goes out to you mate I've, we've all been their and come through it so can you. I went al free for 2 weeks to clear my head and it did work but it's hard. Keep in touch.

So nice to have friends in life who can listen.

Lasha

[nonamegirl]

October Mod Squad

I am putting in a quote from Crocus here... I have never figured out how to get the quotes to have that darker background so it is obvious it is a quote...
"Here's what I think: We all clearly want to be wise, and use alcohol for the good it can bring. Let's not forget all the times we have NOT gone overboard. Excess of anything works against goodness. I think this is no exception. For me, it's true I have to pay attention! I like drinking enough that it could get me into trouble if I don't PAY ATTENTION! I'm going to do that. I'm going to pay attention and NOT get greedy, self-indulgent, and sloppy. .......... I want to love this life I have been given. I want us all to love it. It's kind of an amazing gift. I don't want to be that person who unwraps the beautiful gift, then says..."This is just not enough for me, I need ten gallons of alcohol before it will be good enough for ME! Love you all. Here we go into Wednesday![/QUOTE]"

Hey, all. Happy Friday!
I put this lovely quote from Crocus back in especially for Stewarts. Stewarts my friend, do NOT allow yourself to "feel like a loser with no hope." You are a great person, and just going through some rough times. I do believe that Lasha has some good advice... perhaps a couple weeks AF might be a good idea... especially since you have the NYC Marathon coming up. Clear your head, let that other person go, detox your body, and enjoy this beautiful gift of life that we have been given.

Lasha, thanks for the wee tip about sugar and carbs. I will add that to my bag of tricks, for sure.

Emmy, my writers' group does all sorts of writing... essays, memoirs as well as poetry. We really bring out the best in each other.... Kind of like coming here, right?

Crocus, good luck on the day before the wedding. Lots of fun coming your way!

TMH, Eve, everyone.... have a wonderful weekend. I may check back in later today, since I am up in the early morning.

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Re: Carbs and Sugar.... This is true, your advice, and your adviser is right, however, be careful...too much carbs, especially flour and sugar is not necessarily good for the body and that is what puts pounds on...pounds we don't want...but if a cookie here or there, detracts from a bottle or two of wine, ok, eat the cookie....

What i tried a few times, and it works surprisingly well, was I ordered cranberry juice and club soda, instead of just club soda...now, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, cranberry juice is LOADED with sugar; however, say you have one or two of those, instead of 4-6 beers, or glasses of wine, how gross as that even sounds...you're probably better off...

:-)

j.


H?ka-h

[ToMyHealth]

October Mod Squad

Quick c/i. Feel like something changed this week. No AF days but psyche is different. Love taking a long hot bath & reading & remembering going to bed. We still have & enjoy HH. But that's it.

Have started snacking at night, however. Need to reign that in. Had a good workout this a.m. all in a fasted state.

Let' have a great weekend

TMH!

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

Yes...I snuck out of my office at at a 5 mile run in the Park...it's 25 years of Danzig, so buddies convinced to buy a ticket...I am pretty sure I'll have a few beers...I am going from work...good thing I am not wearing a suit, but business casual...I still look weird there, but I think I'll just shed the sport jacket, leave at the office...I am sure I'll be the only wearing a burberry buttondown though...I got a 12 miler tomorrow...it's taper time for me.. :-)

Hokay Hey!

[nonamegirl]

October Mod Squad

Hey, all.
Stewarts, I will enjoy thinking of you on your 12miler today. I well remember "Taper Madness" when you feel like you ought to be doing more miles but really can't. The week before the race is what always drives me nuts.... nerves more than anything. Are you going to see your folks this weekend? Might be a good idea.

TMH, I am glad you are doing well with your plan. The idea of a hot bath sounds lovely! You encourage me to slip outside (COLD here this morning) and slide into our hot tub. It is still early, still dark, so I don't have to wake my husband up getting my suit. I love looking at the trees and the dark mountain behind us, seeing just the hint of a coming sunrise.

You all are right about carbs and sweets. A little goes a long way. Funny that I can control my sweet craving (one small handful of M&Ms will do it for me). Probably if I am trying to hold off the first drink cheese and crackers or something with protein might be better, but gosh, wine goes well with that. Wine and M&Ms? Not so much. And make sure I brush my teeth after the chocolate....

Have a good Saturday, everyone. You are my support.:h:l

[Emmy Lou]

October Mod Squad

Hi all!
Stewarts I agree with you, when we're not moderating alcohol intake we ingest WAAY much more sugar than a few biscuits or cranberry juices would contain. Best to do every little thing to ride out the AL cravings and a few sweet treats will help. Hey don't feel bad about how you expressed yourself after a few too many the other night. You're a human being. It's not the end of the world. The great thing is that you care about how you are with others and that's ultimately a considerate way to be.
I, unfortunately, over indulged myself last night. My boyfriend offered me a glass of red when I arrived at his place and before I knew it we were walking out to buy another bottle...before we even had dinner. I felt fine during the evening, not drunk at all. And we had a really lovely night, but since moderating I feel that I've lost my tolerance somewhat and so I suffered with a headache all day today...ugh!
I won't be doing that again in a hurry.
I've happily met all my deadlines for work this weekend and am free as a bird until next week. So of course I sent emails to all my work contacts to bring in more! Glutton for punishment!
I hope that everyone had a great weekend. I'm looking forward to a lovely lunch with my father tomorrow.
Take care all of you,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

October Mod Squad

Morning, all! Happy new week to live life to the fullest!

Emmy, you offer good advice about not torturing ourselves over what is past. We need to pick ourselves up and go on, planning on doing better. I hope you enjoy your dinner with your dad... I so much wish I could spend and evening with my father once again. He was the parent that offered that unconditional love that we all crave. My mom was a good mother, and loved us, but for unconditional love, we looked to our dad. Please give your dad a hug from me.

Stewarts, hope your 12 miler went well! Actually, I KNOW it did. I wish I was training for the NYC marathon right now, too. YIKES! Actually, at this time of year when I was in training for it, I was pretty terrified.

Stewarts, TMH, Lasha, Eve (where are you?), Emmy, Crocus (wow, how did the wedding go?) and everyone else who checks in, I hope your week is simply perfect. You deserve nothing less. One of my favorite quotes is from Yoda... that wise old soul "Do or do not. There is no try." Hmmm... there is a lot of thinking material there for those of us who moderate.

[Emmy Lou]

October Mod Squad

NNG thankyou I enjoyed dinner with Dad very much. I also understand what you mean about the unconditional love. He'll tell me what he thinks I'm doing wrong but then says that no matter what I do, he'll be there at the end of it all.
I had a few drinks with my boyfriend last night, he cooked dinner. But this time I came armed with two small low alc beers and a bottle of low alc wine to share. His housemate didn't know it was low alc but got right into it, having three glasses with dinner!
I also went to bed early when the others continued, woke up fresh and had a productive day thank goodness. I'm not working at all this week it seems and it's wonderful!
I've had an AF day today, and tomorrow is looking good too!
Had a walk to do grocery shopping and borrow more books at the library today. Walking feels so good. I bought some files for my home office locally on ebay so I'll have a good hours walk to collect them in the morning.
Wednesday is my last day on Dads trip to be with him so I've planned a picnic. On Thursday I have a long walk planned with my neighbour and Friday I'm going to the market with a friend from yoga, so I can have a huge walk to her place beforehand. I wish life could be like this all the time but somehow I must pay the mortgage! Lol! We all know about that whether it's rent or mortgage. All the same pressure.
Thankyou all for such great support. Your kind words and helpful suggestions really make a difference. And hearing about the different things that you are all into is fascinating, very encouraging.
I wish you all a peaceful and fruitful week.
X
Em

[ToMyHealth]

October Mod Squad

Posted on my laptop, but it wouldn't accept it. Frustrating. Back now on Ipad after an excellent workout. Shoulders strength training, 20 min on ET, 30 min on TM, planks, situps, stretching, and soaked up some rays reading by the pool. Life is good!

Can you tell I had a good mod weekend?

Stewarts, NNG I also hated taper week. You get so ansy. Bet the 12 miler seemed like nothing. Although it seems whatever it is you dial in, that will be when you get tired.

Em, you sound great. I love that term "collect". When I was in chemo, I had a Brit running friend who offered to take me to one of my sessions. She called and asked "what time shall I collect you"? Never forgot that. That and her kindness. Yes, hug your dad. I really never had one. Boy, I'm sounding like a sorry sap today. I'm good, really.

Need to get crockpot dinner going and catch up on some housework. Seem to play a lot on the weekend.
Oh, and get to have my weekly talk with dd, hear how she & grandkids are doing. Tonite we are skyping with stepdaughter & her young family, 2 girls aged 2.5 and 5 months. The 2 yr old recently was on her Princess phone "talking to Grandma and Grandpa" so decided it's time to schedule again.

Have a great start to your week!

TMH

[Stewarts]

October Mod Squad

TMH, I have a bitter sweet feeling about taper time now. One, yes, it feels like nothing, although, no matter what distance, the end always feels like....something...or gets your tired. I also played a hockey game on Thursday, and went out pretty late Friday...so it wasn't the best 12 miler, but I got it done.... I also ran on Friday.

I had a rough last week...kind of like mourning...for myself. I am trying to look at this week as a fresh new start. I am going to sneak out of my office and do a quick five miler soon, I think. Honestly, I don't feel like working. I'm not hung over or anything like that, just don't feel like working.

TMH, I may need to PM you...after I am done with this race....not that I am going to stop by running, I love it, I want to get back into some other strength fitness. I was doing a little crossfit before my training got too intense....nothing organized...just picking and choosing my own routines....you seem to be doing something similar.....straight weights always bored me.

Enjoy(ed) family Skype.

j.

[crocus]

October Mod Squad

Hi Everyone! Back from a big wedding weekend...the third of my kids who got married this year...and I am EXhausted but happy. More in a second. but first, to Stewarts.

"I just feel like a loser with no hope...in life that is."

I know how that feels, as I think we all do. You will not feel that way forever. You will feel better. The reason you get feeling like that is because you care, and you are trying to be a better person every day. That is huge! You have to breathe in and breathe out for a while when you get feeling that way. I like to look at the sky or the ocean and just open myself up to the reality of beauty in the world, and my hunger for it. It always helps me when I do that and try to be restful and to feel God's love for me. (Enough to create the sky and the ocean for me to have! Amazing!)

My son's wedding was wonderful. I had the absolute BEST time with all my children, and their friends and spouses. I drank, but not too much at any point. No hangovers, no bad behavior, and no morose texts. Weddings, are never a problem for me, though. My demons lie elsewhere.

I've been thinking of all of you this week. Now that the weddings are over, I will stay in better touch. I'm at work, so must go. Love to you all.

And Lash, I take an antidepressant each day. So what? I had to get over the idea too, but it seems to help me stay on a more even keel. I don't notice anything per se, other than I don't get so hostile when my dear hubby ignores me. He's not the best communicator. A common malady among men.

[Emmy Lou]

October Mod Squad

Hi,
How is everyone now?
I'm always doing catch up here because of the time difference I guess.
TMH you made me laugh about 'collect'! I never noticed I was saying that. I guess it's cos I feel that he is a precious parcel. I delivered him to the airport this afternoon. Sad, but I was glad in a way. He's a very fit and healthy 74 but looks 10 yrs younger than that. He still volunteers in the local bush fire brigade in his area and I discovered on this trip that he does the local church run to the food bank to deliver to the needy families in his country area with his trailer.
Stewarts, you don't sound like a loser in life to me! You sound motivated and dedicated to self improvement!
I've been pretty good the last two days. I'm mixing vodka with water and a splash of lemon, very weakly with the vodka mind you. It's just a nice refreshing drink with hardly any calories and keeps my drinking elbow busy without going overboard. The only thing is, with so much water and lemon, I often wake up in the middle of the night to visit the loo. It's cold here now, and I don't have heating, so it's a very quick half asleep dash! Scares the cat to death!
I'm very much looking forward to lunch with my best friend in the world tomorrow. I'm glad we are meeting during her lunch break though. She works at a bank, and won't want to go back boozy. Otherwise she drinks like a fish!
Take care everyone, NNG I'm thinking if you and just about to visit drink tracker, x
Em
X