November Mod Squad

[nonamegirl]

November Mod Squad

Good morning, everyone!
Emmy, you have some really good ideas for our dear Crocus. I would be willing to bet about a kazillion dollars that if we (everyone here on this site) could just be better at those two ideas, counting drinks and stopping when the desired effect is reached, there wouldn't be a site at all. It does take a very strong will to do what you say - but it is so worth it. My problem has been that after that second drink my rational brain seems to give control over to someone else, the person who used to sneak into the cabinet to take a hit off the scotch bottle. (Yuck.) I am teaching myself to sip the first one much much longer than I used to, then eat something (dinner, preferably) and then sip the second one. If I am frantic from a bad day, tea first. Two cups if necessary. Then dinner. And then if it is the right day, a glass of wine.

I am making progress in this quest. My days af are mounting. I suspect that somewhere down the line I'll mess up - though I hope not, and will work towards that not happening. I have certainly done the binge thing many times in the past. But a friend once told me that he thought the number of drinks a person could take in one's life had a finite number and he didn't want to reach that number too soon. I think he may have something there. If I want to moderate, and I do, I have to NOT choose to binge.

A good book that has helped me, that I heard about here is called "Controlling Your Drinking." hmmm... by Rivers, I think, though I don't have it just to hand. Anyway, worth picking up.

Happy Wednesday, All!

[Stewarts]

November Mod Squad

Binge Drinking

crocus;1587449 wrote: P.S. Quick question. DO you guys have any thoughts on binge drinking? I think my personality tilts towards binge behavior. Not on purpose, and not for more than one evening, but I often moderate or abstain fairly easily. Then, out of the blue...too much.

Thanks ahead of time.

Yes, I do. I think people like us can be prone to it and like you said, not on purpose, we're not alcoholics. Part of it may be how we spent our youth and habit, and part of it, I don't know, but I do find myself on occasion, like last night, drinking more than that one or two and staying out a little longer...not getting smashed, just kind of biding the time away....I think binge drinking has to do more with either a.) boredom and/or b) your out with old friends and just want to get....nuts.

That's my two cents...for now.

[crocus]

November Mod Squad

Hi Stewarts, and NN and Emmy. So good to get that advice. It all does add up, and I feel encouraged to know that you have had similar experiences, since I am alos prone to thinking I am the only one who is like this.
In terms of causes, you, Stewarts, seem closest. I was very controlled and type A in my youth, and then went right to full time career after college, and then directly to marriage and responsible child rearing. I had good genes, though, and when the last one finished college, I was all about...OMG! Where's the party? I'm goin'!" Most of my overdoing it now is that I am out with the kids and their spouses (they take me to concerts & stuff) and I just am chilling with them & don't want it to end, OR when I'm just chilling by myself listening to music (I am such a music freak) late at night, and don't want it to end. Hubbs is much more mature. He listens to political radio all day, does not enjoy music or going out, and hits the sack early. (Love him lots, though!)
Emmy - Counting, staying aware, and...NN..avoiding loss of my rational brain are all precisely what I must continue to try to do.
I have three days now, so better is always better!
Love to you all!

[Stewarts]

November Mod Squad

Crocus, we are totally the same in this regard , I know exactly what you mean with "not wanting it to end." That's what happened to me last night...I have bernal little depressed lately which usually leads me NOT to drink. Drinking was always about fun for me as a young person as you can relate.

Anyway, I actually did a workout class focused on preparing for skiing, then had a few beers. Instead of going home I went out, to do just the sit in a bar and listen to music. I then started talking to some women. I watched the time, and wasn't home very late, but definitely didn't need the last 3 or 4 beers.

Yes, I still go to a lot of concerts with friends , and they usually want to drink and drink a lot. It's tough when you're the only one that thinks like this and your friends don't...modding that it

[Emmy Lou]

November Mod Squad

Stewarts you are right. It's the 'not wanting it to end'. And I've even stayed out after my friends have gone, and then thought, what am I doing here, getting drunker, spending more money and giving myself less time to recover before work in the morning???
Crocus, I've got friends who had their kids early in life, and are just able to start really going out again now. They hit it like there's no tomorrow and I keep wanting to tell them 'don't worry, slow down, this is not the last time ever that you're allowed out!'
Perhaps it's a combination of the two, not wanting it to end and feeling like it's your only chance. The second I think is probably habit formed from all those years of wondering whether you would be able to ever go out again?
Does that make sense or am I completely off track?
NNG I think I've said it before, I really love your cup of tea first strategy...now I have to implement it!
I did really well and got ahead of schedule with my work today. Only about 7.5 more hours (if my estimations are right) to do tomorrow. So I might just make my Friday deadline.
I am not AF tonight though. I finally opened that bottle of sweet muscato in my fridge. It's actually much nicer than I imagined. I've had two glasses and am going to bed now. Pleasant surprise though...it's only 7% alcohol! That's half the amount in regular wine! Feel better about that!
Night all ,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

November Mod Squad

Hi, everyone.
I love reading all your posts. Emmy, congrats on getting to the end of your goal! Woohoo!

In college, I was a big drinker. I would take my books to my favorite dive after class, study until my friends showed up. Drink until closing, sometimes, then catch a couple hours sleep until I had to get up at 4 for my job as a baker. And do it all again after classes the next day. Chose drinkers as boyfriends. My first husband, whom I loved tremendously, was a drinker. We would spend nights drinking beer, sitting on the kitchen floor talking for hours. I do not regret one minute of that time with him, since he died so soon. But now I am grateful that my husband now of 23 years is a very moderate social drinker. With him, I know I will be able to enjoy in moderation.

Take care, all of you, my dear friends. Talk to you soon.

[Stewarts]

November Mod Squad

Yeah, I was a big drinker as a teenager and throughout college and I've even say my twenties. I also liked to have fun with drugs too. My College roommate and I, with whom I am still close to, thought of it as a lifestyle, a fun one, where we'd never stop partying, we really believed that. When I got to the white collar workforce in NYC, I was, well at first initially, shocked, that not much had changed...40 year olds, behaved like 20 year olds, even worse...I of course in my youth thought this was AWESOME!

I Know someone posted once or a few times, drinking is bad if it's effecting your life negatively. When I was younger, I could go out and drink beer all day and be fine. I do agree with that statement, I know we can all make arguments regarding physical health, but let's stay off that for now.

And like I said before, when my depression kicks I usually don't drink, because, well, I simply don't want to do anything, and that was always looked at as fun. But yeah last few times, well, two times I have been by myself, remising, and as I told Crocus, yeah, I ended up at a bar listening to music, not wanting to talk to anyone, and then this woman started bothering me...I shouldn't say bothering, I was happy to talk to her, she was kind of cute (I think) and had an Aussie accent.

Last night, I went to my ski club meeting and then we went down to the tap room of my club afterward, I was only going to stay for one or two, but stayed for me. I knew why also. I was re-connecting with some people I haven't seen in awhile. So that one or two, I think became six. Then I had some guy annoying about some stupid, construction project that needs some political pull...I think I made the mistake of saying I could make a few calls for me a few months ago...which I do not plan on doing. So, with that, I simply went home and ate bad.

Point, I did not want the experience to end, until I had the annoying guy and I just left after that.

And I feel bloated today...that is what I hate. Well, I got a ski work out later today.. I may even go to the gym midday to run a few miles on the treadmill as well.

[Eve11]

November Mod Squad

Hey dear friends,
Have been away a long time again but my heart strings eventually pull me back to the group here. We are grandparents of a beautiful little boy born 3 weeks early but in good health. I was grateful to be present for the delivery as he was due when we were to be on our big yearly trip and I would have missed the whole thing. The only hard part was to leave him! So sweet and cuddly. Mom is doing fine and son (as young as he is) is being pretty hands on. One day at a time with this one too, is all one can say. We will just give the best support and guidance we can so that educational dreams continue and these young kids don't get stuck in our welfare system.

Hubby and I are nearing the end of a vacation to Asia. We always have wonderful adventures and it makes his hard work worthwhile to him when he has the carrot of somewhere fascinating to look forward to.

On vacation we always are at an executive lounge with limitless drinks but always seem to do better with not getting out of control. Hubby just does not like the way he feels the next day (even after 1 or 2 drinks). He can really tell the difference between bouncing out of bed and feeling GREAT and feeling more sluggish with one and especially with two. So, he certainly makes my moderation plan easy as it's hard to be a big drinker with a lightweight!

For me, I still struggle (and probably always will) with wanting to quit drinking once I start. I find it harder and harder to have just two and be done when on vaca. So easy to have the 3rd or 4th whereas I usually never do that when at home. Only one time did I really feel the effects the next day, but it usually is daily drinking whereas it is only week-end drinking when not on vaca. So, am looking forward now to going home and getting back into our routine with little drinking and focus on family. Fun things coming for us in the States with Thanksgiving around the corner just days after we return. Family is very important to me and it is one of my favorite holidays. Then planning a big 80th birthday party for my mother-in-law shortly after that and Christmas then just right around the corner so it will be a busy family time.

Haven't read any of these previous posts so hope you are all doing well. Did glance that we had a lot of our same members here, so glad to see that. I will get to reading and posting again soon. Have a beautiful day (or night if that applies to where you live) to all.

Hugs, :l
Eve11

[ToMyHealth]

November Mod Squad

Eve, congratulations Grandma! So glad to hear baby and Mom healthy. You are going to so love that grand baby. What's his name?

Well, guys, this has been an 'off' week for me. The 2 parties last week 2 days apart, then winning our flight in the tournament and the Fri night celebrating, then 2 days later the hole-in-one, am proud to say I made the next day AF even though went bowling and out to dinner with about 50-60 people. Golfed Ladies Day yest, went in for lunch and server greeted us by asking us what we would like to drink as woman had a hole-in-one. Here we go. Now last night was another neighborhood Happy Hour. Since I had a big lunch I decided not to eat, just drink. Not a good idea. Was having a great time, 2 turned into 3 and hence why I've been awake since 4a.

Haven't thought much about Thanksgiving as the last 3 yrs we have been invited to friends or have gone to the club. Neither is happening this year so time to make that menu, grocery list & shop.

Off to catch a few more winks before alarm goes off. Later.....

TMH

[crocus]

November Mod Squad

Hi Everyone!
Eve - A grandbaby! Congratulations! Wow! I'm hoping I might be one soon since all my kids got married this year.

Thank you NN, Stewarts, TMH, and Emmy for your input on my binge question. I could relate to Stewarts' comment about 40 yr. olds acting like 20 somethings. Well, here I am at 64!!!!! and feel like I have got to get that through my head! I also chuckled at Emmy's comment about feeling like I wondering, years ago, if I would ever get to go out again. Actually, I never felt like that then; I feel like that NOW! I loved the child-bearing, child rearing, teaching, soccer mom thing. And I had a hard time with the empty nest. I think that is when I really started having a problem drinking way too much.
I had 3 AF days this week, and last night had most of a bottle of an absolutely delicious Franciscan white wine. It was more than I intended to drink, but I ate well, and went to bed by 9:30. It's a comfy rainy Friday here, but I don't plan on drinking today. Grading papers, and maybe a Merchant Ivory movie.
Question....I posted a photo of me and my daughter on the photo gallery under "miscellaneous."
Then I got a message saying that I had reached my limit of uploads, and could not post there again. Any thoughts? How did I screw that up?

[Emmy Lou]

November Mod Squad

Hello everyone!
Congratulations Eve, so good to hear that things are well so far. I'm sending good vibes for smooth sailing.
I've FINALLY finished my work from home...on my self imposed deadline too! YAAAY! I had planned to meet up with my boyfriend at whichever gig he was working but it didn't work out. I knew he'd be busy but he can usually get me in to his gig and we walk back to his place afterwards. Unfortunately he hasn't been paid for two weeks and his phone was cut off this morning so he couldn't respond to my call, and it's Melbourne Music Week. That and a couple of festivals on the same weekend mean that he's working all weekend on the one weekend that I've had free for him! Ugh!
But it is a great chance to catch up with my closest girlfriends at our
Favourite bar for some really great music instead. And tomorrow I really look forward to finally having time to clean my flat! It's like a squat in here after all my long work hours!
Looking forward to reading all of your posts here over the weekend.
And I will be drinking this weekend, but not as much as the rest of the girls,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

November Mod Squad

Goodness, such news. Eve, Hurray! A new lovely boy in the world. So marvelous that you were home when he was born. And soon you also will be back home - I bet the little guy will have changed quite a bit in that three weeks!

Crocus, I have never posted any pictures here, so can't help you. Wish I could!

Emmy, congratulations on finishing your work before the real deadline! Have a great weekend, be safe and have fun.

Stewarts, I hope your weekend goes well, too. Depression is something I have dealt with on and off for a lot of years, and I can really relate to how it affects our ability to move, think well and interact. Take care my friend.

[Stewarts]

November Mod Squad

Hey Eve, congrats!!! That is great! I remember that was pressing on your mind for quite some time, you definitely deserved that vacation...my parents are actually in Asia, again, right not. I think they're in Mumbai, I just got an email from my mom.

Eve, if you overindulged a little, on vaca, so what, at least your with your hubby. I've lately been getting a drink or two out of boredom, which I don't recall doing in my youth, which is not what I like. I am meeting someone later for drink, a date, those I'm usually pretty good at it. I don't want to get drunk, I'm trying to make a good impression, but I'll admit, if the girl likes to drink, I have had nights that have gone done a sloppy path, ending in some regret, well, not for me, more for them. I think I like this woman, so anyway....

I did go for a run, and I did do my ski workout, which, physically, might have been a mistake and overdoing it, but I had the best night sleep I have had in awhile. I went to re-up my meds and was given some Xanax for the nerves from a few days ago. I think I might have taken one earlier that day, of the workouts, but it would've been long out of my system, meaning, I think the physically activity wore me out, not the drug...it felt nice. Maybe I should do more classes like that. Running and hockey makes me really wired, not tired.

Depression is rough. I think I had it all my life, but was just never diagnosed. I would go through these periods, even as a teenager, of feeling low, un-energetic, not confident, etc., and then, literally, would wake up one day and feel fine, and I'd be fine for months, years even, then a little set back...and the same... when things got bad with my marriage, and I wanted to leave my employer at the time, I remember laying on the couch telling my wide, "let me figure out the next move, once that is done, it'll be fine, and then everything will be back to normal, in the interim, leave me alone." Well, we all know how that turned out.

Being aware of it is great, because you know how to cope with it and handle it, but sometimes what you're doing it just masking or blocking out what's bothering you and as time goes on, you just feel worse...or it all hits you at once one day...

Anyway, I'm blabbing too much again...

Congrats again Eve!

[crocus]

November Mod Squad

Hi Everyone. I was having tea at 7:30 this morning when my husband arrived home from the grocery store. He said...

"Well, you really powered through the wine last night, didn't you. Expensive wine too!"

I had no reply. I did drink Saturday, and had a bottle and a half between late afternoon and 2 A.M. He had gone to bed early as always, and I stayed up with my new Eric Clapton Crossroads CD.

I feel sucker punched and overwhelmed with guilt. I am leaving now for church an hour early so I can just be there and look at beautiful things. Feeling very sad.

[ToMyHealth]

November Mod Squad

Hello ~ hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Had a decent mod day yesterday, but a poor night's sleep. Have a leg that is bothering me so the ol' roller pin got brought out and even got up to roll tennis ball on bottom of foot. Time to go see chiro.

Stewart's - liked your post. Communication, communication, communication.

Crocus, sorry you are 'talking' to the tech challenged here. Imagine you are in church this a.m. Had plans to go, but sleeping pill taken at midnight kicked in about 4a. Need to take right after dinner, I think.

NNG, did you have Fri date night?

Em, enjoy the girlfriend time. You sound happy!

Eve, how's the baby? Do you have to go to the mother's to see him, or does your son bring him over? How is your son now?

Ok, kind of a cloudy, windy day. If no rain, may try get some golf in. Otherwise, think it will be a good day for stationery bike workout.

TMH