January Mod Squad

[DancingGirl]

January Mod Squad

Good luck with your goals, Sparkles. I just put another AF Monday in the bag. Off to read in bed.

[Emmy Lou]

January Mod Squad

Hi there from sunny Australia...too sunny. It's still 32c here (I think that's 94 in your language) and it's ten past eleven pm! It got to 42c today (114f) and it's forecast as the same all week. Exhausting. I've shut every window, pulled down the awnings, rolled down the block out blinds and closed the curtains...gotta keep it cool (no aircon).
On another note, NNG it was a false alarm, I didn't get your cold, thank goodness.
Just checking in before sleep time.
Good luck for this week everyone,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

January Mod Squad

Morning, my dears!
I am starting to feel like I might be recovering. Whew! Went for a 2 mile walk yesterday and it felt really good, so that is a step in the right direction. When I was teaching I got colds with some frequency, but since I've retired this is only the second bout of illness I've had.

Emmy, my thoughts go out to you to keep cool. It sounds miserable. I worry about forest fires for you, as well, when the weather is like this. Are you in an area where you are susceptible? Take care, stay cool, and be safe.

[Jazi's Mum]

January Mod Squad

Good morning! Glad to see those nasty colds are better. We're just heading into flu season here in Canada. Doctors push 'flu shots' a lot but Husband and I don't get them - and neither of us has been sick for ages. If we get a cold once in 5 years it's as bad as it gets. We're retired too - I wonder if that's the difference???

I've also been reading that the use of anti-bacterial soaps and hand washes is causing a huge jump in bacterial resistance to medicines!! When 5% of the germs survive they get stronger and stronger - scary.

My plan this week is to have AF days as my indifference increases - baclofen really kicking in for me. Then on the weekend I'll have a glass or two with dinner - but only if I really want one. See my progress journal for my good news on this front.
JMum

[DipGal]

January Mod Squad

Hello Modding friends! I have been active on MWO for the last couple of weeks, mostly in the Newbie area. I am almost in the middle of my *30* - today is day 13. My intention is to mod when I am done, so I am a little uncomfortable continuing to participate in what seems to be the ?AF for life!? threads. I feel like I can?t really say what I am feeling there. For example, I do not feel fantastic and wonderful each day I am AF. I didn?t really feel that bad before ? well, most days at least. I'm just kinda neutral..

So, here I am and will look forward to getting to know you all and getting your tips and tricks. I have a couple of weeks of abstaining left, but during that time will be working out my plan for modding.

My health is my one and only reason for limiting my consumption. I am morbidly obese (but working on my weight, too!) and the quantity of AL and mixers I often drank was a huge factor in gaining so much weight. Along with the lowering of inhibitions ? making snacking and more drinking so much more tempting. I did have some minor twinges of pain under my right rib cage from time to time and that scared me, too.

I have found the last 13 days AF fairly easy. The first few weren?t, especially since DH tumbled down a flight of stairs on day #3 (he has a big drinking problem!) and I wanted to drink so badly. If I could win that fight, I can win any challenge. I have substituted low or zero calorie virgin versions (say that 5 times!) of many drinks for the witching hour and have distracted myself. It?s not that hard, but I can?t really say that it is wonderful feeling this way.. I just feel neutral. I am a fun-loving social gal, so neutral just won?t do for the long term.

Okay, thanks for reading.. enough for now! I've posted in Ruby Tuesday. I think that will really be the hard part of this journey!!

[Emmy Lou]

January Mod Squad

Just popping in to say hi,
Welcome to Dip Girl...well done on the AF month so far!
And I'm in the city, no where near the fires, but my 74 yr old Dad lives in the hills outside of Perth, where there have been terrible fires this week. Luckily he's ok, the wind changed, whew! He used to go out fighting them with the country fire station crew up until a few months ago . I rang last week to double check that he was going to keep to that...all ok.
Take care all,
X
Em

[I'm Strong and in Control]

January Mod Squad

Hi Everyone!
Back in the States - the weather in Australia was absolutely amazing. To go from 108 degrees to below zero temps is a shock to my system. I'm still not sure if it is breakfast or happy hour, so still getting my bearings. I drank every day during my holiday - and did NOT have a visit from the guilt, remorse and hungover brothers. It is so easy to drink 5 drinks a day when on vacation without being wasted. Discovered ginger beer - wonderful refreshing low-alcohol mid-day delight when the beach got to be too much. As I said before, I don't want to get complacent - the daily drinking is what got me in to trouble to begin with, so I'm going to have some AF time. I'm resistant to starting until next week - still have really great wine left from our holiday! I gained loads of weight when I did my AF time starting in September and know I must get into shape. We typically have a no-alcohol, no-sugar, no-processed foods January every year, to get ourselves back on track - but didn't this year because of our vacation. It would be good to do that - just need to get my head in gear. I found the "Ruby Tuesday" site today and it looks like a good place to hang out. Also checked out the DrinkAware site for the first time. It was pretty easy to go AF when I was miserable and ashamed of myself - now I need to generate a new motivator. Maybe being AF until I lose 10 pounds, have a nice dinner with great wine, then back on the program. Hate to admit that I've gained more than 20 pounds, but I have. Luckily, weight stayed stable over the holiday - the desserts and alcohol were offset by all the hiking, swimming and walking. Just wanted to check in and glad to find you are all doing well.

[nonamegirl]

January Mod Squad

Hello, all my dears.
Welcome DipGal! You will find lots of great people here,. We are a pretty open and welcoming group, if I do say so myself.

I find that I don't have much of interest to say, since I've been down with the cold, but I wanted to let you know that I am here.

Strong, your vacation sounds lovely! Glad you got home safe and sound.

[crocus]

January Mod Squad

Hi Everyone,

Welcome Dip, and Jazi. Loved your posts. Thank you.

Strong - Welvome back from vaca! I was sipping all day while on vaca also. Did not get wasted either. No guilt either,but I had my yearly physical, and though I'm slender, my cholesterol is way up -278, so I'm starting a diet to get that down. Nothing but blah foods and very limited AL.

NN- glad you are feeling a bit better. A walk is probably what I need too. Lately I have had the blahs on and off. Was thinking of Stewarts and I think I know how he feels so unmotivated sometimes. I have sat and read for two days straight. Dawn til dusk. Slept late too. (Sleep as a drug?) And this from an insomniac! It's like a cocoon of sorts. I don't want to even move.

Have been drinking on and off; too much one night, got yelled at by hubbs, and so on. Funny, I don't want a drink on these cocoon days; I just want quiet, and to be left alone. Right now, I have no energy to think past just that much.

Back to work tomorrow. I'm hoping that will get me going. I'm going back to the gym today, also. Hugs to all of you. Onward, right?

[TrueGrit]

January Mod Squad

Whats up, found this thread from a couple of other members..

Started on my moderation plan on Tuesday morning and have been sober for two days. I plan on only drinking on the weekends where the rest of the world somewhat shuts down and gives way to a more social side. I have never been the one to drink during the day as for some reason I have always felt incredibly odd knowing that everyone else was sober and I wasn't so I would power through hangovers waiting to drink in the evening.

Moderation is going to work out far better, being an actual productive human being during the week while still enjoying drinking and the activities that come with it during the weekend. Being able to subdue and control AL instead of AL doing that to me will be the ultimate win.

BTW, I found my cravings Kryptonite...Butterfinger ice cream kicks its ass real quick and seemingly for the rest of the night.

[Jazi's Mum]

January Mod Squad

Hi Everyone. I'm still sort of 'modding' in that I pour a glass of wine at dinner, have a few sips but don't continue. This is all new to me!!

I DO pour it, though, because I'm determined to have NO guilt around this issue - NONE!! I drank for a reason. Now I'm exploring all those control issues in my past life, and childhood. I want to see if there are ways I can regain control over my own heart and mind and body, without reaching out for a drink. Alcohol does work though. At least the first one! But there are other ways....and I'm going to find them.
JMum

[TrueGrit]

January Mod Squad

Jazi's Mum;1613977 wrote: Hi Everyone. I'm still sort of 'modding' in that I pour a glass of wine at dinner, have a few sips but don't continue. This is all new to me!!

I DO pour it, though, because I'm determined to have NO guilt around this issue - NONE!! I drank for a reason. Now I'm exploring all those control issues in my past life, and childhood. I want to see if there are ways I can regain control over my own heart and mind and body, without reaching out for a drink. Alcohol does work though. At least the first one! But there are other ways....and I'm going to find them.
JMum

That is awesome and exactly the way that I feel. I have been saying that if I can take the control away from AL and instead control AL and enjoy it than that would be the ultimate win!

[DipGal]

January Mod Squad

I caved...

TG and JM - Love your thinking! You both put it in such a logical way!

Well, my 30 days AF plan came to a screeching halt today at the two week mark. I drove home this afternoon through a freaking blizzard! I have never been so scared! My nerves were shot.. Then, I get home and DH who hasn't been out of bed for 4 days because of his depression, anxiety and alcohol abuse cries to me about his inability to take any baby steps towards healing his mind and body. He feels like a total failure and is overwhelmed with what needs to be done to try to dig himself out of the black hole he is in. It's so sad... I'm so sad.. And, I turned to a glass of wine.

I am trying to figure out how I am feeling about my semi-success. I never thought I'd last two days AF, let alone 2 weeks. Yet, I wanted it to be 30.. I do not look at it as a failure. And, I especially won't look at it as a failure if I brush myself off and continue AF tomorrow until my original "end" date of 2/1. What happens over the next couple of days will reveal a lot to me about my ability to mod. Problem is, after my snow episode this afternoon I cancelled my plans for both Friday and Saturday which were going to require some major driving in snow and wind. So, I'll be around the house other than to run an errand or two. That isn't good for me! We'll see!

Thanks for reading and being here!

P.S. Jazi - sent you a PM

[ToMyHealth]

January Mod Squad

DipGal be proud of your 2 weeks AF! You have a tough living situation to be sure.

I have not gotten back on the wagon and would like to offer being your quit partner. You in? We could call today Day 1 or whatever day you are on except for yest. I had quit for 2 weeks also so it might be motivating to see those double digits add up to 30. So even if they aren't consecutive, all AF days are good. And since you are losing wt like I am trying to do we could move over to the AF or lose wt thread here in LTMods.

How you feeling today?

TMH

[DipGal]

January Mod Squad

ToMyHealth- On the way home from the day’s activities I thought suddenly that drinking today was an option since I had broken the 30 day AF plan yesterday. My addicted brain told me I could start on Monday.. It told me that since I am looking into ordering meds for DH I could order some meds for myself, too and go that route. This shows me that although the first two weeks AF went okay, I will have trouble moderating unless I change my brain. I did not have a contract with myself or rules yet. But, even if I did I would have broken them. Today was a “fast” day on my 5:2 diet plan until 3:00 when I got home. I gave myself permission to have a glass of wine to comfort myself, and then as habit took over, I dove neck deep into a bag of chips. I just topped off my wine.. and I am thinking about drinking over the weekend. I want to say yes, let’s make tomorrow Day 1, but my heart isn’t in it. I am feeling sorry for myself and want to self-medicate over the weekend. I don’t want to say I’ll start tomorrow and fail. I'm all for Monday though!!

Jazi’s Mum suggested the book The Heart of Addiction.. I just downloaded it on my kindle and hope to spend a lot of time on the weekend reading it. Maybe that’ll help me get a grip on why I do what I do, how to handle DH, and give me new found motivation. Will Monday work??

I am already on all the weight loss threads here… so looking forward to teaming up there, too!!!

Waving hello to all other modders!!