Moderation Toolkit

[DancingGirl]

My apologies to those with more wisdom than I, if there is already something like this way down the Mod Board, but I wondered if we might want to share our modding tools like the abstainers do. Many of them work for both of us, but there are some differences.

So - for me:

Make sure to go AF at least once a week. Even one AF day decreases my tolerance, which is crucial to being moderate when I do choose to drink. Two-three AF days are better than one.

Keep track of what I drink when I do. DrinkAware is my new favourite drink tracker, but I used the one on this site for a long time too.

Be honest with myself about moderation. "Binge" drinking once a week is not moderation. Drinking every day when I come home from work is not moderation.

Be kind to myself if it doesn't work out, but be honest if it is constantly not working out (see above).

I have all kinds of other tricks, but am more interested in seeing what the rest of you think and do.

[DancingGirl]

Moderation Toolkit

Oh, and one further thing I find crucial:

Have non-alcoholic drinks that I enjoy available. Aim to create new 'rituals' with these drinks (e.g. tea-time rather than happy hour).

[ToMyHealth]

Moderation Toolkit

DancG, great idea. A Moderation Toolbox.

My initial contribution would be having limes on hand. My nonalcoholic drink is often Diet Tonic with lime, Low salt V8 with lime, or ODouls with lime. My drink order out on AF days is either club soda with lime or with cranberry juice.

TMH

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Moderation Toolkit

AF FREE DRINKS

I had a hard time with this, as my drink of choice is red wine. I don't like anything cold, fizzy, acidic or lots of caffeine and calories. Quite a transition for me.

I've learned to enjoy lemonade (in small doses), iced tea, Arnold Palmer's (mix of iced tea and lemonade - cuts the acid), and alcohol-removed wine. I have the AF free wine at home, particularly when we have company and I don't want to explain why I'm not drinking. I put it in an empty, regular bottle of wine (with a slight mark on the label) and hubby and I refill my glass from a different bottle.

There are also just times when I want to sit and read, or look out the window and relax with a glass of wine. The habit I'm trying to break is drinking at home, particularly on weekdays and this has been a great substitute.

Hope this helps.

[nonamegirl]

Moderation Toolkit

Dancing Girl, I read on another thread that you thought there wasn't much interest in this... I am sorry. Perhaps it is because we all felt that we didn't have much to add?

Anyway, one tool I use that you haven't mentioned is knitting. I cannot knit if I've even had a half glass of wine... though that seems to be when I want to knit the most. I always have to rip out if I indulge while knitting. SO, progress on the current yarn-based project means progress on the moderation front.

[DancingGirl]

Moderation Toolkit

Hi NNG,

No need to apologise at all! I'm not upset or anything near that. I had thought a couple of times to mention that I find it interesting or curious that we're not sharing our techniques, but then thought a) that I didn't want to sound like everyone OUGHT to do that, or that I had some kind of a peeve going on; and b) like you say, these exchanges perhaps have been done before.

Also, one size doesn't fit all ... at all.

So no worries.

I like the example of knitting - if I play the piano when drinking it's probably worse, but there's no evidence.

[DancingGirl]

Moderation Toolkit

I just decided to update this with a couple of things I've learned (probably obvious, but helpful for me).

1) Use small glasses, or measure a small portion (125 mL or 5 oz) into a glass with a logo or picture. My favourite glass, from a upper NY state winery, has a flying bird on it. To the tip of the right wing is 5 oz.

2) Choose lower alcohol brands. I found out that B&G Partager white is only 11% but is really quite lovely

3) Drink less and your tolerance goes up. Having three glasses (even three small glasses of lower ABV) now has quite an effect!

Finally, whenever I'm having that little (stop now, no have one more) argument with myself, I remember that I never regretted stopping.

Love to all.

[Eve11]

Moderation Toolkit

This is a great thread DancingGirl. I posted a thread about Temptation quite a while ago and will cut and paste it here as it is a bit of a toolkit for moderators. Here goes:

This is designed for moderators so for those of you who are AF, please disregard the statements that apply to occasional drinking.

1. Make your plan
We all know how important this is. Make a plan if you are planning on drinking. If you take supps take them on planned drinking occasions. Many studies have shown that L-glut (especially) can reduce cravings.

2. Start with a non - al beverage (especially if it's going to be a long night). At a party I hosted recently I didn't allow myself to have a glass of wine until the food was served. In the past I would have been sipping the minute the guests arrived. We've all heard to drink slow- have a non-al beverage in between. Be prepared for non-al beverages (especially if you are going to someone else's home) as they may not think to offer water/ seltzers etc. in between drinks.

3. Be careful of what images of drinking you allow yourself to see before you take that first or next drink. Rather than picturing the relaxed nice buzz feeling image - concentrate on how you feel the next day - imagine how you look with blood shot eyes or puffy or tired eyes from too little sleep. Remember how you feel, anxious, depressed, possibly humiliated or remorseful.

4. Learn to procrastinate. If you have the urge for that 1st drink and don't want it or the drink that should be your last one and you want another - think to yourself "I'll just sip some water/seltzer, etc. and wait 15 min. Keep trying to wait it out until the urge passes.

5. Use distraction. Get busy with a task, physical activity, or some type of mental pursuit that gets your mind off of drinking. Turn to someone for help! Come to MWO - go to the chat room, call an understanding friend.

6. Picture yourself with a caption underneath your name. I like to put the caption of what an Uncle said to my husband about me once "She should hear herself on a tape recorder when she's been drinking". Not nice - but could work from preventing that first or last drink I shouldn't have.

7. Substitute an image other than alcohol. Picture yourself with a tall glass of seltzer with grenadine and a lime twist.

8. Figure out your triggers and avoid them when able. My trigger is drinking at home. Not a good idea for me to open a bottle of wine thinking I'll have only one or two at the most as in the past I have failed doing that. I can go out (hubby drives) and have one or two and be fine but the bottle at home doesn't work for me. Record when things haven't worked for you and don't repeat the behavior.

9. Use the ignoring technique. Just as you ignore a child having a temper tantrum so you're not rewarding the bad behavior by giving it attention (even negative attention) ignore the thoughts of having a first or last drink but just repeating ignore, ignore or just say STOP!

10. Learn meditation which can help you control your thoughts. Use a mantra that helps you. AA has some good ones and encourages members to use: "One day at a time" "This too shall pass", "Easy does it", etc.

If all else fails, remember the negative consequences script. This is the one where you must replay in your head those memories of when you yelled at the kids because you were drunk or hungover and wouldn't have done that if you had remained sober, the time you had a fight with your S.O. because alcohol was involved, the time you woke up and couldn't remember what you had done the night before and were embarrassed by what you had said or done to someone, something you did wrong morally because your inhibitions were lowered. Really give yourself the memories before you take that first or last drink and say to yourself Is it worth it?


:l
Eve11

[-143]

Moderation Toolkit

This is a great thread!!!!Thanks!!!! Eve....what is L-glut?

[ToMyHealth]

Moderation Toolkit

-143 L-Glutamine. It's an amino acid supplement available at Health Food Stores. I buy mine at GNC. I can't say as I have ever got in the habit of using it, but some people swear by it. You can find out more in the Holistic threads I think.

TMH

[-143]

Moderation Toolkit

Thanks TMH!!!

[nonamegirl]

Moderation Toolkit

Okay, this week I've discovered a new-for-me moderation technique.... eating dinner early! This says a lot for us, since we already used to eat before 6, but now since we are needing to be af for my husband's surgery, we are starting to get dinner ready before 5. Whew! As my husband says, we are eating dinner with the blue-hairs.

[Stewarts]

Moderation Toolkit

I'm actually reviving this thread, I hope no one minds... :-) For the most part, my modding has been good. I have a few slip here and there, but the reason I am looking to revive this thread is I want to expand my toolkit and re-read the great suggestions.

Briefly, I was out with a girl last night and I drank more than I would've liked. I felt fine that night, I have recollection of everything, we had fun time, but as we all know, we hate that feeling the next day. I am not doing terrible, just more like...Ehh, did I really have to have those glasses of wine with her at the end.

Here's what happened.... I played squash first. I was going to meet her at 8:30, I was done around 7:00p,. I have been pretty good about not drinking at my club (unless with a female), but for some reason I wanted beer after my match. I had three light beers...a.) I had time to kill and b.) I figured it would make me drink less when I met her.... looking back, I see what a dumb move that was.

We meet at this place, kind of like a dim sum place, order some apps and over I think a 2 hour period have three margaritas a piece...good news, they weren't that big, nor do I think they were that strong.

We decide to stop by one more place before walking her home. We each have three glasses of rose. Like I said, I felt fine and I was having a good time.... then we went her separate way home...retrospect, I should've just had a beer.

Looking at all that, I'm like damn! What was I thinking!

There is some good news. Last girl I went out with, before this one, we were drinking white wine - I've come to realize now, unfortunately, white wine makes me very sick - emotionally, physically and mentally. I've been avoiding that. Anything more than a glass or two, can be disastrous to me - doesn't matter good wine or cheap white wine-definitely cheap. The rose we drank, did not have this effect on me in the morning...just feeling that sluggish...why did I do that feeling...

As someone of you know I done some hypnotherapy which worked wonders. My hypno-therapist got a bad flu and has been incognito...I think I need to bother her though. Those sessions have me feeling refreshed and energized, focused on making good decisions.

I need to work with this woman problem...and it always happens when I like the girl, because, well, we're obviously having a good time...too easy to get caught up in it....

I know there are some apps on the phone that may help...

My plan for today is to leave work early and go to Rhode Island...I need to relax, I think I deserve it.

I think if we all have an organized toolkit instead of always "counting" drinks...I think it will help us all.

[guapo]

Moderation Toolkit

Get a Hypnosis recording from your therapist, then you can do it at home. There is a good iPhone hypnosis app called "quit drinking". PM me and I can send you a different one for free if you like.

[nonamegirl]

Moderation Toolkit

Hmmmm... just remembered this. Long ago a friend who was quitting smoking told me that her therapist told her to have a ciggy, but to FIRST brush her teeth. And then brush them again afterwards. I actually have used this technique when I really wanted a drink and wanted to delay it as much as possible. Guess it could be added to the toolkit.

Mostly it is the mind-set, though, isn't it? For moderators, we can set ourselves up to succeed or set ourselves up to fail, just by how we attend to the first drink. As I have said before, Moderating is not drinking every night. It is not drinking more than you have decided ahead of time. It is not being af all week and then bingeing on the weekend. It is not gulping the first drink so that you can sip the second, pretending it is the first. It is not sneaking drinks when no one else is looking, as if that made them not count.

As the Abstainers love to tell us, if we came to a site like this, it ain't 'cause we like too much dessert. If we are here, it is because we know we have a problem controlling how much we drink. Moderation is hard work. For many people, it is easier to not drink at all. If we choose to moderate, we really have to work on the mind-set, keep ourselves strong, and be honest with ourselves.

Have a wonderful weekend, my friends. Stay strong.