March Mod Squad

[nonamegirl]

March Mod Squad

Hello, all.
Stewarts, good work at not overdoing, and you know what? Any woman that doesn't respond to you is just losing out. You are a good guy and deserve the best. Don't forget that.

Emmy, HI! I love reading your posts.

All is well here, but too busy to write much. More later.

[Stewarts]

March Mod Squad

NNG, thanks, but I get it, it's the mental state I'm in...it's not offensive, or dangerous to those around me, but it's obviously negative. No one wants to hang out with negative vibes, people can pick up on those, even if your speaking nicely to them, especially women, they have a sixth sense for that. A woman doesn't want to talk to a guy who's a downer, I totally understand.

Apparently, I texted a gf in Chicago, just a friend, but there's been some sparks between us over the years, we've even talked about, not for awhile now though, I think she has reservations because of the distance and her work travels and don't blame her. Anyway, I texted her, your awesome, I'm a loser, I won't bother you anymore; but apparently there was a typo ands the "I'm" said "in" She texted back, which I saw when I woke up, "Sorry, are you calling me a loser?" I responded back, "God no!....Me.....that was a typo, you're the perfect woman, the in should've been I'm" She texted me today, "R U ok?" I simply blew it off, I responded, I just said, "Yes. I'm fine. Oh, BTW I got into grad school." Anyway....

j.

[Bastet]

March Mod Squad

Hi Mod Squad - I posted on one of the other moderation threads and nonamegirl kindly directed me to this thread - thank you! I am 56 days into a 100 day abstinence and am a bit curious about moderation. I did try a few years ago after a 30 day but it didn't work for me. I was trying to go by the book with 9 units a week and planning days and amounts..... Anyway I am not sure any of it would work for me but I was wondering what has worked (or not) for you? Is it possible to imbibe occasionally like 2-3 times a month or does it quickly become out of control? We live in N.CA and love to go to Sonoma also getting a bottle of wine at dinner is a huge part of the experience for me. In fact I don't even want to go to a nice restaurant now it's just boring. My husband is of the mind that I should not drink again but I think if I was to show him I could successfully moderate he might be on board. Of course if I failed he would trust me even less. Anyway I just thought I would put the question out there and see if anyone would share any info with me. Feel free to pm me if you want. Thanks!

[nonamegirl]

March Mod Squad

Welcome, Bastet!
Congratulations on your successful 56 and counting days! It is always good to give the body a break and do a thorough cleanse. You are doing a great job! I am going to PM you, also, but I wanted you to know that all of us here welcome you, and that you will find nothing but good people who are also trying to figure this world out.


Just a reminder that we are going to be gone for a few days, so no one will hear from me. Housesitter is coming today to take care of critters, and all. My heavenly days, it will be good to get away from avalanches, floods and snow. Maybe I'll even see some sunshine, who knows?

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Hi all, welcome Bastet,
I actually don't have much of interest to say. I drank a bit on the weekend. And last night because I'd forgotten we were invited to friends' for drinks. I thankfully bought some terrible wine and sipped it because I'd had a stressed out day at work and would have easily gulped down a good wine!
Anyway, nothing a good sleep couldn't fix, so here I am having my coffee at 6am and starting another long day.
X
Em

[frances]

March Mod Squad

Hi Bastet - I have been here on and off since 2008. I just went back and counted - 5 tries I gave AF for a time and then tried moderation. Varied times, 30 days, I think 45 once...less than 30 - every time so far I have gotten back into my old habits and come back here because I was not happy with those habits. Maybe 100 days will work better for you. I am currently on day 14 AF. I love(d) to drink wine, I love(d) to drink wine with food, everything. I am not sure where this is heading but I sure do see a pattern!

I don't recall how quickly it got out of control. I stayed on here and posted while I was really still trying to keep it under control and that really helped. But gradually it got back to daily drinking and eventually up to a bottle and often more every day - rarely less. Over an evening, I wasn't totally out of my mind, but it was enough to make me feel bad the next day on a fairly regular basis. For what? I was just sitting home watching TV and pretty much doing nothing because of the wine.

I would love to think I could moderate but my experience is telling me otherwise. I am kind of mad at myself this time for not flat out saying that my plan is to quit and never drink again, because I think that is what I should do. But, I don't know yet what I will do. I am taking it one day at a time right now. Minimum goal is AF for the rest of lent. AF for life is the preference. I really don't see what is so great about it - the small enjoyment during a meal is nowhere near worth the bad feelings, guilt, worry, expense, etc. from overdoing it. If I thought I could keep it to a very rare occasion I would. At this point I do not think I can. Maybe others can with diligence and really hard work and sticking with this site, etc. - I am sure it is possible but I don't think it is for me.

Changing your mindset about alcohol is important...it is really not as great as all that. There are some great people on here with lots of experience and advice - keep posting and reading!

Good luck whatever you decide!

[Bastet]

March Mod Squad

Frances - thanks so much for your post. I think you speak with a great deal of reason and experience. My wanting to drink rarely is most likely an unrealistic dream. I am worried that if I do it the way I am thinking the two, three or four weeks in between occasions will feel like the first weeks in an extended AF. And we all know that is really no fun. The only good thing with my plan is that it gives me the opportunity to completely quit and go AF very quickly. I do not want a binge session that lasts for weeks and honestly that is not my style anyway.
I hope your AF time goes well and you are able to settle into whatever works best for you.

[Eve11]

March Mod Squad

Just wanted to say hi to everyone and welcome to our new posters. I had a sad family situation, an unexpected death (sweet sister-in-law) from cancer. She passed 2 weeks after the diagnosis so it was sudden and very sad. So, I am behind in posting again and only found time to quickly read the messages here tonight. I re-read what I posted on page 1 so to Bastet, please hit 1 and read my post there. It shares my struggles with the whole moderation thing. It can be difficult and for many (unfortunately most), impossible. Why? Because we wouldn't be here in the first place if we didn't have (as I call them) faulty shut off valves. Someone posted good "food for thought" somewhere in our mod section about being careful with the week-end modding and being careful that that just doesn't become alcoholic binge drinking. Week-ends are usually the time I drink and I am always cautious about thinking about that. Doesn't help to be an alcoholic "binge drinker" either.

:l
Eve11

[ToMyHealth]

March Mod Squad

Welcome, Bistet and Frances.

Eve (((hugs))) am so sorry to hear of your SIL sudden death. I hope she didn't suffer terribly.

Had a long post but again got deleted. Maybe it just spared you all. I think I'm getting a message, just quit. Quit drinking or quit checking in?

[Eve11]

March Mod Squad

TMH,
Frustrating when the computer deletes long posts. Can't remember why that happens but it has happened to me before too. Almost like there is a time out section and if you are not quick enough it gets deleted. Guess you could try to save long posts at some point of posting, or put into wound and then cut and paste over here when finished. Although, sometimes it's nice to just open up this site and start typing away and not want to be bothered about such things. I am sure we would have enjoyed reading it, for sure! If you are daring, try again We always enjoy hearing from you.

:l
Eve11

[ToMyHealth]

March Mod Squad

Thanks, Eve. Yes, I know I could use Word and cut and paste. Happens when on my Ipad. Don't have Word on there. I'm always logged in on PC, but have to log in everytime now on Ipad. Same with FB. I click "remember me", doesn't change it.

But alas, beautiful day here today. Played golf this a.m. Need to catch up around the kitchen area, then think I'll go get some color by pool. Dress up St. Patrick's Day Dinner and Dance tonight. 5:30, dinner at 6:00p. Asked golfing friends why do they have it so early? Who eats dinner at 6:00? Response was "because they think we're old". And I'm sure many have early a.m. tee times. Reminds me of running days. Our parties started early, didn't go past 9p because everyone needed to get up for a run the next day. So it's ok. Will feel much less tired tomorrow, esp. if I don't drink too much which I don't plan to do. In fact, except for recent widow we are sitting at a table of teetotalers. And I don't know about the widow.

Quiet around here. Know NNG is traveling. Everybody having a good weekend?

TMH

[nonamegirl]

March Mod Squad

Hello, everyone, and Happy St. Paddy's Day to you all.

We are home, safe and sound from our trip. Though it was a wonderful break, and lots of fun for the most part, we have decided that four nights in Vegas is one night too many. I had thought that the crowds would be smaller mid=week, and that was just not true. However, we had a very good time, saw a good show, and even got some sun. And, coming home was heaven! It feels like spring might actually come, sometime. All is well with the world.

TMH, your comment about eating dinner early made me smile. Though we are still in our fifties, we joke about having dinner with the blue-hairs ... and we really do prefer eating very early, even at 4:30 at times. Horrid, I know. But we get up so early that it just fits our schedule better.

I made a big pot of corned beef and cabbage yesterday, had our friends (non-drinkers) over, and we had a good time. After they left, we had our last drink (singular) of the vacation week, and now are committed to eating sensibly and not drinking for a while. Springtime seems to ask for a good cleanse, and we are happy to be doing that. AND, finally the roads are clear, so we may be able to get our bikes out of the garage. Marathon class starts next Saturday, and I am one of the leaders this year, so I have to get my butt in gear.

I am sending you a big hug, Eve. Losing a loved one is so very hard.

Also sending out hugs to our dear Crocus. I know you aren't posting much right now, but you are much in my thoughts. Pretty soon, all those crocuses you have planted for people you don't know will be blooming, and you should realize how very lovely and loving YOU are, and know that what goes around, comes around. Because you are who you are, this ol' world is a much better place.

I hope everyone has a really good week. Take care!

[ToMyHealth]

March Mod Squad

Welcome back, NNG! So glad you had a good time. What show did you see? It's been many years since I've been to Las Vegas, but I remember even enjoying the lounge shows.

You know as far as eating dinner earlier, it would be a great help in the drinking dept. I know when I do AF days, I find that once I sit down to dinner all desire for that drink goes away. It's actually better for you. The evening did not go as planned. Had a wonderful visit with one of the ladies and why she chooses not to drink. I had thought it was for religious reasons, she said not at all, just the usual, not controlling it, embarrassing her dh, a dd who at age 21 thought she had her own problem. They went together to an AA meeting. Just the once. She quit; her dd at age 26 now drinks very moderately. She very freely serves alcohol in her home. She did ask me why I am reading Nick Carter's book Facing the Music. I admitted to reading about addiction everyday. Have a feeling this conversation hasn't ended. Oh, and after dance newfound friends from MN invited us over for a nightcap. I have to learn that is a BIG MISTAKE. Granted, it was on way home from club, one block from our home, but not good. We had had enough to drink.

NNG, must be a lot nicer weather for you. Your spring plans sound great. When is the marathon, and will you be a leader for those wanting to finish in a certain time? I was always in the 4 hour classes. What I found amazing is most participants were a lot younger, they did much better than I during the training runs, but day of the marathon I'd be 1 out of 2 who finished under 4 hrs. Experience? I am envious. Maybe your taking this on will motivate me to buy some new shoes and do more running.

Crocus, I too, was thinking of you, wondering if you are ok. Miss you.

Well, am making deviled eggs and a salad for tonight's St. Pat's Day Dinner for 6. Gads, it never ends. I am grateful, however, for this full life. And I truly think one of these days I will decide to enjoy it AF.

Here. Here. Let's have a wonderful week!

TMH

[nonamegirl]

March Mod Squad

Well, here I am at 2:30 in the morning, not sleeping. Darn! I have had several really good nights recently, though, so it all works out.

TMH, I have definitely always done my races, whether marathons or 5ks using a walk/run method. So, I am SLOW. But I enjoy it very much, in any case. I am planning on doing the half this summer, and am only one of several leaders for the class. During the race itself, I really prefer to be on my own - selfish, but there it is.

We saw Mystere, a fantastic Cirque show in Vegas. Last time we had seen Zumanity, which is also simply outstanding. I do not understand how human beings can do such feats.

Hope everyone has a great Tuesday!

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Hello everyone, sorry I haven't been around. Very tired with my long work hours, and some social commitments. I've been very happy with my drinking and not drinking whichever I decide to do. Whenever I go out I'm still counting drinks and much slower than my friends. When I'm home I'm only drinking when I have dinner with my boyfriend, so there are several AF nights each week.
I've done a few things around the house on the weekends too. I replaced my kitchen & bathroom taps last weekend!
I have to go to sleep now, I love reading your posts and I'm right behind you all in the quest to meet your goals. And I'm sending loving vibes to you all when you are sad.
Take care
X
Em