No Fools April Mod Squad

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

I tried something interesting over the weekend. I had this hypnosis thing I downloaded once awhile ago for AL. I've listened to it a few times, but always past out. Anyway, Sunday morning I started waking up kind early around six and or 7 and wanted to sleep, so I decided to lay on bed and listen to it to put me to sleep. I ended up being very relaxed and for the first time got through whole thing and found it quite relaxing and therapeutic. I won't go into everything, but there are some interesting suggestions. Anyway, I had a hockey game that night and met someone out earlier in the day who wanted to drink wine. I had to drive so I ordered a club soda and cranberry juice, but then buckled and had some wine. I had a few glasses, mainly because the bartender was pushing it, my date asked me if I could drive, I said "Yes, I have time, but no more." Which was true. The last glass, I remember not even really wanting it. She took the rest thankfully. I might have a had a few sips of hers.

I drove up to my game fine. I played well. We usually have beers after the game...now this was the more interesting one. After a hockey game, dehydrated, it's easy to crave beer. I had one, a light beer. It was late and I had to get back, but thought I'd have one more. The second one, I couldn't even get through the whole thing. This was coors light, basically, water. I ended up throwing away a good 3/4 of it and the last quarter, I was practically forcing myself.

I seriously doubt one hypnotic session is the overall cure-all....but it definitely did make me more conscious of what was going on. I am going to listen to this some more and try to get through the whole thing and not fall asleep.

Weird.

j.

[Emmy Lou]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hi all. Back again after my mad week off.
Stewarts, I got an hypnosis mp3 for moderating when I first started the experiment late last year. I've only listened to it about half a dozen times but I can honestly say that I noticed a difference after the very first session. I don't know if it was more due to me having finally decided to seriously try moderation, or wholly down to the hypnosis but I'm sure that it made it easier.
Well, the boyfriend's 50th was great fun. I'd had a week of drinking which I knew I was up for. After my festival I took him out to the expensive restaurant so a few drinks there and on my days off that followed we spent a lot of time together which always means a few drinks each night. I find these days that I start drinking much later in the evening, and I'm going to bed earlier (& sleeping better). I'm happy to say that I didn't have a single hangover. I even bought a few bottles of red for the week but made sure they were organic and preservative free. At the party I was pretty busy with friends. I stuck to scotch and coke all night and sipped slowly. At the end I was drinking pint glasses of water. The only pain I had the next day was from wearing heels and dancing until 2.30am. I did have two glasses of wine on Sunday night. I found it hard to get to sleep because I was worried about sleeping through my alarm for work the next day. I'd been sleeping in for ten days and am again now back to getting up at 5.45am (ick).
I was AF last night and am again tonight. Boyfriend is going to visit his Mum in the country tomorrow so I probably won't drink again until Friday night. It's my birthday on Saturday so I'm sure there will be a few drinks then but I don't have any specific celebrations planned.
I've been reading your posts with interest too, just haven't had time to join in until now. 143, I feel for you with your daughter's problems. The parenting class is a great idea and will hopefully help with the immediate problems but I can't help wondering if more specific one on one counselling would also help her get to recognise why she does things the way that she does. We all learn our behaviours along the way, sometimes we do stupid things in a subconscious effort to either hide from problems or to get something that we need. In any case you've been very brave to tackle this, and very strong to support her with her child (and the next one soon to be). I have my fingers crossed that you will see some relief very soon.
It's very nice to be here again with friends. Take care all,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hey, all.
Emmy, so glad you had a good week! And happy early birthday, as well. I will be thinking of you and sending you BIG birthday wishes all week. We like to spread our bds out over a whole month, since my husband and I are both January babies. Lots of fun!

Well, we have had a pretty lousy setback with post-surgery problems with my husband. He has just started a new job and now has to be on sick leave for a whole week. He is very blue, extremely upset and in quite a lot of pain. So glad that I have the time to baby him!

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hypnosis

Yeah, it was definitely interesting EM. I think what it does in your subconscious, is suggest things to make you conscious of your surroundings and AL triggers. For example, it's easy, eg., my last Friday night, to have more beers than intended when watching hockey playoffs with hockey friends....then again, I think it was bad tap beer that made me feel ill, I was in bed quite early for a Friday night, literally went right home after the game was over....Oh the real big mistake was grabbing Chinese food before I went home, more than AL even... LOL

One thing the track mentioned was bringing your thumb and index finger together as a reminder....messed up thing...it frigin works! I find myself just doing it randomly during the day, with no AL present.

I woke up around 5am today. I wanted to sleep some more, so I put in on my phone...it's just shy of a half hour. This time I nodded in and out of sleep, but I think that is ok.

j.

[Eve11]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hi -143. So sorry about your stressors! We have a teenage son whose gf kept the baby. She is a great mother but he is only 16 and the 16 y.o. behavior keeps popping up and driving me crazy. For example, he had a great job to bring in a little money to help with support for baby and then just decided to quit for no good reason without a backup job plan. Now I learn he is skipping school and getting poor grades (school is designed for troubled kids and they only have 2 classes a day so they have time to focus and get everything done in class as it's set up for teen parents who have jobs). He is getting D's, skipping school, trying to hang with friends all night after school, and smoking pot. It's a mess too. I encourage you to google Total Transformation and enlist in their free program. Wonderful parenting advice for difficult teens. We have him seeing a good tough love counselor and we are starting to get firm as heck with him. Called the police on him last night when he had his gf drop him off at a gas station after football practice when she was supposed to bring him right home. We told him every time he skips school we are going to call the truancy officer and he'll end up in juvenile court and possibly spend time in a teen detention center. He was up bright and early today with a good attitude, so we'll see. I am thinking the tough love has to be done to nip this stuff in the bud. Have an older nephew who started out the same way and parents were pushovers. He is 25 y.o. now and is addicted to heroin, jobless, just recently got his gf pregnant, and lives at home with his father! So, stop it as early as you can. And yes, protect that grandbaby. Make her do the parenting class as it really sounds like she needs it.

With all of that being said, it is easy for me to want to drink my troubles away (with my current stressors) as AL will put me in a relaxed mode with one or two. Any more after that and it's too much and then the consequence of a slight if not bad hangover happens the next day. My battle always continues to be not always wanting to stop (and sometimes not being able to stop) once I've started. Had a little 4 pack of wines so I would only drink 2 last night and as the night progressed I kept making the excuse of just one more as I was stressed and then I would rationalize that an hour or two had passed since the last one. So, by the end of the night, I had drank all 4 and of course had bought them in individual bottles so I wouldn't drink (the whole bottle) or all four! I think one of the AFers who was trying to give encouragement once to someone who needed to quit drinking and not be fooled by the moderation concept stated that most moderators don't really moderate well if you really look at them. For me, this writer was right as I really struggle with quitting most times I start. It is sad that this moderation board is not the safe place we want it to be to really speak the truth because we have the crashers who come here and (some) delight in our weaknesses when we share our struggles with the fact that moderating is a lot of work and for us, not as successful at times as we would like it to be. But, I want to keep it honest for myself and honest to others as I think we are all afflicted or we wouldn't be here. In the 5 years or so that I have been coming here for support and to give support, I want to admit that I have never made it through one month with keeping my goals completely of no more than 2 drinks in a night or no more than 7-9 drinks in a week. At least one time I have failed my goal and I continuously struggle with the fact of questioning whether I can really do this or would I just be happier going AF and not have the emotional burden of trying to moderate successfully. BTW, regarding the sleep issues many are sharing, I sleep like a baby when I am not drinking at all. I always feel great the next day when not drinking. I sure do get a nice little buzz when I do drink, but don't like paying the piper when I drink over my desired limit. Think I need to come here more often to try to stay more accountable and truly consider going AF if I continue to fail my goals.

:l
Eve11

[-143]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Wow..... thanks for all the support everybody!!!! Eve you certainly have your hands full too!!!I guess it's like they say children can drive you to drink :giggle::giggle:
Well it looks like I'll be af til at least Friday.... no money!!!! That will definitely keep ya from drinking!!!!

And yea Eve..... I almost didn't come back on this site after the afer's ate me up after my first post! But I let them know that this is my walk and I have to walk it my way!!!! Thought that was why it's called MY WAY OUT!!!!!

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Screw the afer's

-143;1655110 wrote: Wow..... thanks for all the support everybody!!!! Eve you certainly have your hands full too!!!I guess it's like they say children can drive you to drink :giggle::giggle:
Well it looks like I'll be af til at least Friday.... no money!!!! That will definitely keep ya from drinking!!!!

And yea Eve..... I almost didn't come back on this site after the afer's ate me up after my first post! But I let them know that this is my walk and I have to walk it my way!!!! Thought that was why it's called MY WAY OUT!!!!!

Most of the afer's are bunch of losers. I'm not saying it our anger or disappointment, it's just true. They may be sober, but they are still extremely, for whatever reason(s), angry people, with awful lives, unhappy, disappointed with their lives, and the one thing they can throw in everyone's face is, "Well, I don't drink or get drunk, etc., so YOU must be a loser." When it's really the opposite.

I have a business partner, I know I mentioned him before, he's been all God squad for quite some time now, but has been sober for over 20 years. He went through a real dark time, very similar to mine at the same age, but at that time, for him, he had already been sober for 10 years. He wasn't happy, he didn't see the point in life, he didn't see any real happiness - just money, hot girls to screw, and that's it, but it made him miserable. He said most of the time all he thought about was killing someone else or killing himself....I swear, those were his exact words.

Fast forward, he is very happy now and still sober. My point is this, these messed up people that think if they just stop drinking, doing drugs, etc., while that is a great start, especially if you have a serious drug or AL problem, it doesn't mean all your other problems are solved. The al/drugs probably brought all of it to the surface, more often then they'd like, but just because they're sober, doesn't mean their lives are perfect...and many of them probably down right suck....

For example, and this is going to be an EXTREME example. . . You're on welfare, live in a trailer, have derelict kids, and in abusive relationship, but don't drink/use, etc...but your situation is still the same.... are now all of a sudden happy because your sober?!?!? If anything, it's probably worse! LOL

j.

[Zax]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Eve, if its any consolation i'm just as bad at being AF as i am at moderating!! Every time i stop though i do seem to add a few more tools to the toolbox for learning how to live with this disease. I'll tell you what 100% does not work for me though is counting AF days. Every time i start thinking in "days" i just want to start chugging. Never figured that one out. Some weird inner thing in my brain that says "you can't have it neener neener" followed by "oh i'll show you what i can't have!".

Stewarts, I was a bit put off as well by some of the holier than thou attitudes on the mod section of these forums when i first started reading. But your post is pretty harsh in the other direction to be perfectly honest. To me it really should not be an MOD vs AF issue. Everyone has their own method of dealing with this demon. One is not better than the other and i think there's things to learn on both sides.

[nonamegirl]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Morning, all.
Eve, thank you for your good advice to -143. I knew that you would have some ideas. And besides that, we miss you when you don't post!

I have put in my two cents' worth about the AFers posting on the Mod boards more than once, so probably shouldn't again. As I have said before, each of us is at a different place on the path. None of us started out exactly like anyone else. We all need to make smart choices, and step by step in the right direction will get us there. Writing those things again makes it seem very wishy-washy, but I guess that is better than the mean things that AFers have said to several of us, myself included.

I come here because I have always found good support and good friends on the Mod board. I love how welcoming we are. I know that AFers lurk here, as to be honest I have been known to do a bit of reading on the AF boards. We should definitely keep the Golden Rule, but I can appreciate Stewarts' frustration, too.

May each of us have a beautiful week.

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Honestly I don't care if it was harsh

Zax;1655258 wrote: Eve, if its any consolation i'm just as bad at being AF as i am at moderating!! Every time i stop though i do seem to add a few more tools to the toolbox for learning how to live with this disease. I'll tell you what 100% does not work for me though is counting AF days. Every time i start thinking in "days" i just want to start chugging. Never figured that one out. Some weird inner thing in my brain that says "you can't have it neener neener" followed by "oh i'll show you what i can't have!".

Stewarts, I was a bit put off as well by some of the holier than thou attitudes on the mod section of these forums when i first started reading. But your post is pretty harsh in the other direction to be perfectly honest. To me it really should not be an MOD vs AF issue. Everyone has their own method of dealing with this demon. One is not better than the other and i think there's things to learn on both sides.

I can respect your opinion of course, and yes, that was a generalization, but I, nor do I think anyone that is regular on this thread, has every gone to an AF thread and criticize someone, let alone brutally, which many of them do.

Anyone that comes on this thread to stir up crap, and we've had quite a few, has serious mental problems worse than drinking or using.

I had an issue with a gf once, I even thought, damn, maybe I've developed a drinking problem all of sudden. I saw a Dr. about it, and she said, while not drinking going through is smart, your still going to have this underlying issue, whatever it is, not drinking will enable you to function, properly in society, but you won't be happy and most likely remain depressed...you'll just deal with it more maturely.

She was right. Is that a way to live life?

That's my point. I'll even use my sober business partner, he's been happier than a clam for the past 5-6years or so, is it because he doesn't drink...that may have something to do with it because he's an alcoholic, but there was time, before that, where he was sober, had been sober for 10 years and absolutely miserable...like I said, he exact words...."I thought about killing someone, or myself most of the time, and I was too much of a coward to kill myself." I think most people are like that, who contemplate suicide, I know I am.

That hbo serious with Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, True Detective, which is awesome if you haven't seen it, the MC character is quite stoic and complex, actually. There's a great line, the Woody Harrelson character says to him something like, if you hate people and the world so much, why do your job, why even be here, and the MC character answers, dryly, "I simply don't have the constitution to commit suicide."

Anyway, that rant went dark....I think it's the weather, it's miserable here today in NYC...I almost want to go home and back to bed...

j.

[-143]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Well.... my daughter enrolled in the class!!! She starts next Tuesday!!! It's once a week from 5-7pm for 15 weeks. I did some research online about prozac and pregnancy. Most of the sites said it is pretty safe. Anybody have any personal experience? She's suppose to start taking it again but I want to be sure.
I will post in holistic healing too.

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

-143, that's great! Some good news/posts...great! That is the best first step.

[-143]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Thanks Stew!!!!! I know right????? Lol

[Emmy Lou]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hi friends, Eve & 143 just keep doing what you are trying to do and you will get there in the end. Don't focus on what you see as failure, don't count them up, it only gives them reinforcement. If you don't succeed with a goal just start again. I feel for you both with your troubled teens, but take heart that you are such good parents yourselves and you are doing the right thing. Those young people are very lost right now but they will be so glad in the future that you didn't give up on them. My Dad always told me not to despair, because one of life's few constants is the passing of time, and the fact that everything changes, nothing remains the same.
NNG thankyou for the birthday wishes! I love birthdays, I'm just a bit worn out with this one! I really hope that your hubby's medical setbacks give him some respite very soon. He must be so frustrated and it would be very hard for you to see him both in pain, and unhappy.
I unfortunately am not as clever as I was trying to be this week. My boyfriend decided not to visit his mother after all and invited me to a lamb roast last night. I brought with me a bottle of organic, sulphite free Shiraz, of which I drank about 3/4! I was under the impression that it was easier to recover from such good, preservative free wine but oh my goodness I was WRONG! I woke up several times in the night to use the bathroom and was intermittently sweating and tossing and turning. I woke up 1/4hr before the alarm with a pounding head and had to grit my teeth and dress, then drive home and get ready for work. So...I still think the good wine is a good idea but I must never be tempted to have more than one or two glasses!
Silly me! I've been weary all day...anyway, onwards we go,
Goodnight friends. Take care, and take heart,
X
Em

[Eve11]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Eve, if its any consolation i'm just as bad at being AF as i am at moderating!! Every time i stop though i do seem to add a few more tools to the toolbox for learning how to live with this disease. I'll tell you what 100% does not work for me though is counting AF days. Every time i start thinking in "days" i just want to start chugging. Never figured that one out. Some weird inner thing in my brain that says "you can't have it neener neener" followed by "oh i'll show you what i can't have!".
Zax


Zax
Really nice post and I appreciate what you had to share. I am always saddened when there are rifts going on between the boards but do understand the side of some people who are AF and concerned about folks who clearly should not moderate. Especially if they share their history on an AF site and then end up over here suddenly thinking moderation will work. But yet, I feel bad that this can't be a gentler and safer site for those who need to believe that. I do think for those who definitely cannot moderate, they will find their way eventually to being abstinent and the thought that they have the hope of trying to moderate gives them baby steps to make it back to being abstinent. As stated above, the Golden Rule should always apply here, whatever board we are posting on.

:l
Eve11