No Fools April Mod Squad

[frances]

No Fools April Mod Squad

I can't resist posting after giving this some thought for a couple of days. I have been on the moderator threads before when I first joined MWO. Currently I am not thinking of moderating as it has not worked for me in the past. But the thing I wanted to post is that I was shocked, saddened, and offended by some of the comments here recently. I guess it comes from some history but I have been here (this time) since February of this year and the only posts from 'AFers' I have seen on this thread, without question in my mind, came sincerely from the poster's heart and from their experience. They only gave their honest opinion, and in one case in particular, my own response was completely out of concern for the original poster's health. The words may not have been what the poster wanted to hear, but they were certainly only meant with that person's best interest at heart.

Other times if I have posted here, it was in response to someone's question about people's experience with modding. Are we not supposed to respond with our honest experience? Of course we are. Well maybe not - I did not realize we were supposed to be mutually exclusive here - is that rule written somewhere? I guess I have learned a lesson.

Anyway I think some of the comments (one in particular and I'm sure that one is obvious) I've seen here lately have been extremely rude and stem from a basic problem in how the 'offending AF post' was interpreted. Posts I've read were not rude at all but just laying out experience, in some cases based on years and years of observations of people on MWO and their successes and failures.

I believe that everyone on this site is very supportive. There may be rare exceptions but I have not seen them yet.

[Eve11]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Frances,
I have always enjoyed your posts. Please keep coming back to share your wisdom. You are always kind and I appreciate that.

:l
Eve11

https://scontent-b-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/10153271_714903825219439_1539593931080347658_n.jpg

[frances]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Thanks Eve I just needed to get that out of my head so I could stop thinking about it.

I always have appreciate your insights here on MWO!

[nonamegirl]

No Fools April Mod Squad

Hey, all.
I guess I have to chime in again on this old April Thread. Frances, you are always welcome here, as is everyone else. There are definite differences in a Moderating lifestyle and an Abstinence lifestyle, and that kind of goes without saying, I guess. I think that the place where we get into confrontation between the two groups is when one of us thinks we have the answers for all of us.

There is no reason you should have known this, but I personally HAVE gotten some very rude and hurtful comments from abbers, at a time when I was sincerely looking for kindness and understanding comments. Oddly enough that time was when I was also abstaining. When that happened, I just stopped posting up there entirely.

Some of us are successful in our choice to moderate. Some of us are less so. I think the same things could be said for abstainers, no? The point I'd like to make is, if one of our most successful modders went on an Abstainers thread and said "Oh, moderating is totally okay. Go ahead and have some wine, it will make you feel better," just how would that go over? That is what it feels like when abbers come here and say "You are crazy if you think you can moderate. It never worked for me, and so it will never work for you."

Having said that, Frances, I do again want to say you are welcome to come and post here. Just know that your own experience may not apply.

[Eve11]

No Fools April Mod Squad

nonamegirl;1656760 wrote: The point I'd like to make is, if one of our most successful modders went on an Abstainers thread and said "Oh, moderating is totally okay. Go ahead and have some wine, it will make you feel better," just how would that go over? That is what it feels like when abbers come here and say "You are crazy if you think you can moderate. It never worked for me, and so it will never work for you."

NNG,
That is a very valid point and so true. We did have a modder years ago posting things on other threads that were quite upsetting to those trying to abstain (e.g. a post in the research thread about how beer is healthy for people) and the huge backlash taught us oldies that we had better tread lightly on threads other than moderating threads. Even threads deemed general are not really safe as I have discovered over the years.

The other worry that I have (as a nurse) is the fact that one more drink may literally kill somebody. Some folks CANNOT and SHOULD NOT drink so it is a difficult thing when this site encourages both types of members (abstainers and moderators). It is as I've shared before, an uncomfortable situation at times. Like walking out of the door of AA to find the door across from you entitled Moderation Management and having a member walk out of that one.

So, I understand the concern some abstainers have for people trying to moderate but I agree with what you posted. They need to respect this site, and respect the choices the people over here are trying to make. I was pretty mad when one of them copied and pasted something a modder had posted and then publicly ridiculed them over on Newbie's Nest. NOT NICE! So, even though some folks think a certain member's feelings here were extreme and could have caused a huge backlash and war between the groups, I think the history of what has happened here has created some of those feelings. We all need to just BE NICE and support each other in our mutual struggle to find peace in our own way out. It is not the same way for everyone. Also, it would be wonderful if we felt safer to post how we really feel or what we really struggle with without the fear that we will be copied and pasted and mocked at on another thread. That type of behavior takes away our feelings of comfort and security to post honestly. With that being said, please remember modders, that private mail works wonders and you can send the same message to 5 members at a time, so if you want personal support that is more private, don't forget that option.

:l
Eve11

[Stewarts]

No Fools April Mod Squad

opinions

frances;1656421 wrote: I can't resist posting after giving this some thought for a couple of days. I have been on the moderator threads before when I first joined MWO. Currently I am not thinking of moderating as it has not worked for me in the past. But the thing I wanted to post is that I was shocked, saddened, and offended by some of the comments here recently. I guess it comes from some history but I have been here (this time) since February of this year and the only posts from 'AFers' I have seen on this thread, without question in my mind, came sincerely from the poster's heart and from their experience. They only gave their honest opinion, and in one case in particular, my own response was completely out of concern for the original poster's health. The words may not have been what the poster wanted to hear, but they were certainly only meant with that person's best interest at heart.

Other times if I have posted here, it was in response to someone's question about people's experience with modding. Are we not supposed to respond with our honest experience? Of course we are. Well maybe not - I did not realize we were supposed to be mutually exclusive here - is that rule written somewhere? I guess I have learned a lesson.

Anyway I think some of the comments (one in particular and I'm sure that one is obvious) I've seen here lately have been extremely rude and stem from a basic problem in how the 'offending AF post' was interpreted. Posts I've read were not rude at all but just laying out experience, in some cases based on years and years of observations of people on MWO and their successes and failures.

I believe that everyone on this site is very supportive. There may be rare exceptions but I have not seen them yet.

Opinions are always appreciated, and I'm sure your commenting on my words, if that is the case, because I could be wrong....well get over it.... that may seem harsh... but I don't know you and have never had any contact with you - positive or negative.

I'm allowed to have my opinions and just because you may have been a respectable and courteous person, it doesn't mean everyone is. This whole notion that we have to take everyone else's crap is ridiculous and weak.

Additionally, this goes to a common problem in the USA as of now.... people always ASSUME (why I added my disclaimer...:-) ) everything is about them. Someone makes a comment, a valid comment, I was referring to someone who attacked me for no reason, actually several, that the regulars now about....it has nothing to do with you...the fact you make it about you, says something about...well, you....

I wish you luck with your endeavors.


Matthew 7:1-2 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and the measure you use, it will be measured to you."