June Mod Squad

[nonamegirl]

June Mod Squad

Morning, all.
Raining this morning, and it made me think of -143. I hope you are staying dry, my dear. Did you ever get the tarps over your roof?

Emmy, the week off, including the trip to the friends' house with the pate and red sounds grand. Sorry about the next day, but we live and learn, don't we?

Guapo, what's a Colorado 14er? Is it referring to mountains over 14,000 feet? Sounds marvelous, and like lots of work but worth it. Fantastic!

Stewarts, I know that my own grandmother was psychic. She read my palm when I was a little girl and said that I would be married twice and be a teacher, both of which came true.
I believe that there is great room for fakes, but some folks truly do have a connection. It sounds as if what you are hearing isn't to your liking, correct? Just ignore it then. Who knows if the person is real.

Hope everyone has a good week. Take care of yourselves and treat yourselves well.

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Hey NNG, my sister is the one really into this and she thinks the person is real and helpful. The only thing my sister WILL not do, is tell us what my grandmother says about us - me and my mom. I'm tempted to just go myself and see what's up. If anyone was going to stick around an haunt people, put her nose in everyone's business from behind, it's definitely this grandparent. LOL

So, I had a not such a slip up, but I want to talk about it. I went out on a date last night, and I kind of set this woman up for my own personal gain, which I don't feel bad about. I needed to do this and I'll be honest it felt good.

I went for a run last night and past by this French bistro up the block from me that my adulterous ex-gf frequents and saw her there, it was her back, but I knew it was her. This other young girl, she's 30, I just mention it because me and X are both 39, wanted to meet for a drink. I told her to meet me there, knowing I'd bump into D.

We sit at a table right behind my ex-gf, and some coug friend she's hanging out with, oh, D, definitely knows I'm there and is ignoring me, which I am her. The people in the place, are extremely nice to me and friendly which I know is making D crazy, because I don't really go there that often.

First, I did this because I needed to. This person, my ex, was trying to manipulate me into something I wasn't, that had some issues, needed to hide in my own neighborhood, etc. So, there I am, she's with a clearly older woman (nothing against age, but I think where you're all seeing this goes), my ex had this delusion that I was obsessed with her, well, when a forty year old man, walks in with a 30 year old woman, and you (her) are a forty year old woman yourself, with your 40+ maybe 50 year old friend you (her) look crazy. Yes, I was enjoying it.

My date then said, "Oh, have you bumped into your crazy ex-gf lately?" >!?!?!?! I shhs her and say, "she's behind you" and I point. Now, my date feels a little weird and asks if we should go, I'm like, it doesn't bother me...Oh, I'm drinking club soda and cranberry juice.

I can tell my date is cool, but a little uneasy, I said, and I can care less if Dana can hear more or not, enjoy your wine, don't rush, we can then leave.

She does, I pay the bill. I got to the bar, I'm right next to Dana and she has this nervous smile, which I like and she's trying hard to look straight. I'll get into why I like this in a second. I chat with the bartender a little bit, whom I only know because of her. Any of the staff I only know because of her. She is obviously looking very crazy, I think, trying so hard not to talk to me. As I am walking out, I do mutter, or whisper, "later Dana." And my date and I go somewhere else.

My date then tells me, which I hate to say it but loved, "Um, when you went to return the pen....she gave me the coldest, nastiest, jealous stare." (I know the look exactly, it's a typical old, cold Irish stare). So I asked, "what did you do?".....She smiled and answered, "I winked at her." "Did she see you do it?" "Oh, I can assure you she saw it."

Of course I thought this was great! This may sound all trite, but there was a reason I am glad this happened. Me, being there with another woman, clearly a lot younger than her, actually me being there with another woman, period, her going out of her way to not engage me, and of course, her giving this young girl the cold, jealous stare, just re-ensures me that I matter to her, or did, and that's really all I cared about. I was pretty much laughing the whole time, and I do have this cocky smirk that comes across my face once in awhile, which I'm sure happened, as I went to the restroom, etc.

It was just me kind of saying, "you won't intimidate me, or manipulate me, do that to your husband."

So, the kind of bad part. This young girl and I went to another bar, there I did drink some beers. We went back to her place, she wanted to try some Italian chocolates, we made out a little, but she said I couldn't stay, but we could go out again for another drink, which I agreed. I should've went home and called it a night - but I understood, if I was thirty, I'd probably do the same thing and/or suggest it.

So, I had several more beers. I definitely went over my three beer limit and it was getting late. The morose depression starting coming over me and I started talking all gloomy - not being worth life, random suicidal thoughts, etc. My date, who I could tell was definitely interested in going out again, was like, "why would you talk like that?" I got more morose, and eventually got up and told her I wanted to go home, and abruptly left. I heard her calling me, but I kept walking. I then took out my phone and deleted her information.

I saw my Dr. today. She thought the whole thing with the ex was a good thing, for me, that I clearly needed that for myself. I needed to show I wasn't going to be intimidated and probably, more importantly, that I mattered. A normal person would have said, "Hi, how you been?" casual chit chat and wouldn't have cared I was there with someone. She obviously did. The Dr. didn't like how everything ended. She said, "If you don't want to see this person again, that's fine, but it sounds you dug yourself into a state where you felt not good enough to see anyone (which is how d made me feel), and you cut someone out of your life, that maybe you shouldn't have....not that you necessarily going to marry this person, but it sounded like you were having fun, a good night, and you ended it rather abruptly and irrationally."

So, I drank a little more than I should've last night which I was conscious of. Do I think the hypnosis still works? Yes. This was an unusual circumstance, and most importantly, when is saw my ex at the first place, I ordered a non-alcoholic drink.....

anyway, that's my rant.

[Emmy Lou]

June Mod Squad

Hi again, nice to be here again. Yes I agree with NNG. I've had positive dealings with psychics but I'm sure there are a lot of con men out there. People often only go yo them when they are in a less than happy state. I was rock bottom when I went. I think that what they tell you can only be interpreted by yourself, and often we already know what they're talking about, we just need someone neutral to show us the issues. It's a fascinating experience none the less. I'd be interested to hear what you think if you ever give it a try Stewarts.
Hey Guapo well done with your modding! And I hope 143 is all tarped up too!
Goodnight all, take care.
X
Em

[-143]

June Mod Squad

Hey everybody! Been over doing it the last week..... mostly because my hubby is on vacation... his Birthday was Tuesday..... and then Father's day. I plan on being af today!

And no..... Nng.....will be ordering a couple of tarps today... but not sure exactly who will be putting it on cause the friends boyfriend hasn't gotten back in touch with me since the original offer. Saturday we bought 19 more buckets... but haven't had to use them yet!!! Thank God!!!!!!

Happy Belated B-DAY Eve!!!!!

[nonamegirl]

June Mod Squad

Hi Everyone.
Stewarts, I loved reading your story all up until the last part where you deleted the new girl's info. Call her back and see her again. Anyone that has the presence of mind to wink at the old gf in those circumstances is a lady with a good head on her shoulders.

Emmy, HI! That's all. Just hi.

-143, we all take a break now and again, but don't let it slide too long. Get back up on the pony and continue your moderating. It makes you feel better, right?

Have a great Wednesday, everyone.

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Hi NNG, I missed you. Well, I had a little slip up. Good news, I am fine and in good spirits. I know why this all happened, and some people warned me. Unconsciously, while the whole situation with Dana and the date was amusing, it did make me feel bad. It did trigger the depression, which is why everything ended the way it did. I'm sure it had me drinking more than I normally do now.

A lot of people at work told me I should've left right away. One guy said, "well at least you only stayed for a drink and didn't have dinner." I was said, "Oh yeah, my date wanted to leave, I was drinking only club soda, but I told her to finish and enjoy her glass of wine."

I think this is why the date ended the way it did. I did start drinking with her, and all those emotions got triggered. NNG, you're not going to like this next part... She did text me the next day, she said had a good time, she didn't understand what she said that upset me and made me wanted to leave, and that was upset I left. I just responded back with, "I think I'm going to make stir fry tonight." Which actually invigorated some banter. I had to go to a broker thing last night, didn't have to, but did. I was going to blow it off. I do remember writing her saying, "I don't feel like I want to be alone tonight." I was being serious and I think she got it. This wasn't some ploy to get in a girls pants. She responded with just take it easy and relax tonight.

The event was over and I had fair amount of wine, catching up with the guys. I actually felt pretty good, here was my mistake. I decided to go into a wine bar on the way home and drank some more. I did send some bad texts to my friend/old gf in LA, I apologized this morning, I was honest, I told her the depression got me last night and asked her not to respond to me. I just want forget it. I also did write to my date the other night, "please lose my number, Best, XX"

I have also since deleted her contact info. I couldn't contact her if I wanted to. This is probably for the better, I thought I was doing well, but there are still some kinks. I don't regret going into the place, I do believe I had to do it, unfortunately there was some collateral damage.

I am still a firm believer in the hypnosis, this was not why I failed. I started feeling sorry for myself, as guapo will tell you hypnosis empowers you, which is why you succeed. I was at a low point.

The moment I realized in my mind, "I don't want to be alone tonight." I should've well, went home, or maybe call my parents. Staying out was a mistake.

The good news. While slightly hung, I am not having any anxiety. I am coping fine. Nadia (LA friend) will get over it, this was and is not a habitually thing I do with her, it was completely random. If she doesn't, then she's not my friend.

NNG, as for the young date, I think I have to let that one go.

j.

[nonamegirl]

June Mod Squad

Hey, Stewarts,
All's well if that's how you want it. Don't forget about a good person just because YOU got depressed, though. Sounds like maybe if you gave it some time and run into her again, it might work. You have said in the past that wine is especially bad for your depression... perhaps now is the time to remember that. If I were you, I might be really tempted to put my phone in a lock box when I've had a drink. The texting old girlfriends always seems to make you feel very bad. Not that you asked for advice, it is just the mother hen thing going on here. Take care, and be good to yourself.

[ToMyHealth]

June Mod Squad

Hi NNG. Wanted to tell you I looked up that Center of Nations as it intrigued me. As much fun as it could be, what makes me turn away is that after doing your half marathon, you then may need to drive 200 mi. To next city. At least that is how I understood it, did you?

TMH

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

NNG, yes your advice is good. At the event, there was champagne and it's been HOT in NYC. So when I went to the next floor it seemed going to wine would've been better than beer.

What happened was, yes, first, I shouldn't have had the wine, keep that for the nice dinners, it was crappy wine also; I was going into a low mood, but I got excited or happy even, seeing a lot of peers I hadn't seen in awhile. I ran into my old senior partner/mentor and told him about my business school endeavor, other business friends of mine about other stuff...I started feeling really good. I should've just went home, but stopping, the morose brain took over.... I actually felt this on Saturday too, but I did the right thing...I was out with a different girl, we had some wine (within my limit) and were having dinner. I don't know what it was, but something about her depressed me. She also wasn't feeling well and I had to send her home. She was nice and all, but I don't know it was weird and still rather early on a Saturday night. I was tempted to stay out, but I was like, "nothing good can come of this, let's just go home," and I did, plus I had school the next day.

I got side tracked a little. Women can also be a trigger for me, meaning if the girl wants to pound, I am going to have a hard time not following her in suit. I think it's amazing that with guy friends, my private club, etc., it's been a hell of a lot easier....the boat, etc.

As for the "winking" girl, I think that is what I'll do. Even if nothing comes of this, this is the second woman I pushed away because of a Dana related issue. Very least, she'd be a good friend. Or even a distraction for a little while.

I already feel much better today even. I need some time to go by with this girl though. Because of autotype, I can retrieve her number still. I will simply text her that I had something going on, it's deal with and I wanted to make it up to her....she'll either say yes or no, if no, so be it...

j.

[Eve11]

June Mod Squad

Hi everyone,
I did not have a good week as my birthday seemed to have been celebrated all week long and I did not meet my goals as I normally do. Then I lose the incentive to post on the drinktracker and even to check in here. My phone used to alert me to new "my way out messages" but my new I phone doesn't and I don't remember how I set up the old one to do that. If anyone can help me with that, please private mail me as I tend to always check in here when I see new messages. Now that I don't, it seems days can just slip away and I am not reading posts or posting. I also find that if I go over my set limit, I tend to be depressed the next day as alcohol is a depressant and then to pay the piper the next day, well...it makes me feel worse. Stewarts, the pattern I see in you is you seem to react the same way to AL as you start to share how you become almost immediately depressed when you have had too much as evidenced by your statement above : "the morose brain took over...." So, I think for the both of us, the trick is to really stop at those limits and then the evening can be enjoyable. I do think hypnosis can work for most people so good luck to those trying that and keep us informed. I have a friend here who is certified in it and she claims she helped a long time smoker quit with just 1 session among other claims to fame.

Here's to a better week for me and whoever else needs a better one.

Hugs to all,

:l
Eve11

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Sorry

Eve11;1673594 wrote: Hi everyone,
I did not have a good week as my birthday seemed to have been celebrated all week long and I did not meet my goals as I normally do. Then I lose the incentive to post on the drinktracker and even to check in here. My phone used to alert me to new "my way out messages" but my new I phone doesn't and I don't remember how I set up the old one to do that. If anyone can help me with that, please private mail me as I tend to always check in here when I see new messages. Now that I don't, it seems days can just slip away and I am not reading posts or posting. I also find that if I go over my set limit, I tend to be depressed the next day as alcohol is a depressant and then to pay the piper the next day, well...it makes me feel worse. Stewarts, the pattern I see in you is you seem to react the same way to AL as you start to share how you become almost immediately depressed when you have had too much as evidenced by your statement above : "the morose brain took over...." So, I think for the both of us, the trick is to really stop at those limits and then the evening can be enjoyable. I do think hypnosis can work for most people so good luck to those trying that and keep us informed. I have a friend here who is certified in it and she claims she helped a long time smoker quit with just 1 session among other claims to fame.

Here's to a better week for me and whoever else needs a better one.

Hugs to all,

:l
Eve11

HI Eve, sorry to hear you're having a rough week. yes, I get the same thing you do, I don't necessarily get hungover, but depressed, and it doesn't take much....if I do get hungover, boy, the depression is worse. Some of it also has to do with lack of sleep, on top of that. The worst thing is I don't feel like doing anything and I stew. I actually did not go straight home last night. I went to my club, bounced around, had no AL, when I got home around 8ish, made some stir fry, and then past out watching TV.

Wine goes down easy and easy to lose track of, especially crappy wine on a hot day...Ha, I remember now why I went into the wine bar, I was saying to myself, I had all that crappy wine, I might as well have SOME good wine tonight...

A good way to describe hypnosis is it's kind of like an enema for the brain. It clears out a lot of "stuff". I guess meditation can help also, my cousin told me he does it, at work, they know to leave him alone, he shuts off the lights, does his thing, and has his 20 minutes or so.

I have a feeling you'll already start having a better end to this week, than the beginning.

[Eve11]

June Mod Squad

Stewarts;1673638 wrote:
I have a feeling you'll already start having a better end to this week, than the beginning.

Ha Stew, you're right!~ Friday night and I just thought I slept SO good last night and woke up today and felt so great without AL so don't even want to go there tonight. We are going away for a week to a cooler climate and a vacay atmosphere so will be focused on really curtailing it. We do tend to drink almost daily on vacay but really try to have no more than 2 and often only 1. Will work the program hard!

Hello to all. Life is good. Seeing that little grandbaby a lot and he is pure heaven. Have a good night and I'll be checking in this week. Finally got my Christmas present from hubby who combined it with a June birthday, procrastinator. A MacBook Pro so have a learning curve ahead of me. Offer tips anyone who is able.

:l
Eve11

[bear73]

June Mod Squad

Hey not been here for a while,two of my much loved cats have died in last six weeks,heartbreaking but I'm coping.drink wise I am generally having no more than three drinks at a weekend night out.
I had two beers last night and feel hungover today,I do like having a few drinks though,work is tough,managing one person on capability due to low performance, new person also has bad attitude and is being very challenging.hard to deal with but I have two great people in my team too who have stayed out of the drama and attitude stuff.

I'm not turning to excess booze,am smoking e CIG and am exercising and enjoying roller derby again.Ups and downs.My gut feeling is new person is trouble and needs to go,she gas indicated she may go,I hope that she does as she is very negative and challenging of everything that is asked for her.

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Need to go

bear73;1674329 wrote: Hey not been here for a while,two of my much loved cats have died in last six weeks,heartbreaking but I'm coping.drink wise I am generally having no more than three drinks at a weekend night out.
I had two beers last night and feel hungover today,I do like having a few drinks though,work is tough,managing one person on capability due to low performance, new person also has bad attitude and is being very challenging.hard to deal with but I have two great people in my team too who have stayed out of the drama and attitude stuff.

I'm not turning to excess booze,am smoking e CIG and am exercising and enjoying roller derby again.Ups and downs.My gut feeling is new person is trouble and needs to go,she gas indicated she may go,I hope that she does as she is very negative and challenging of everything that is asked for her.

Bear, this person needs to go, they will only hurt your team and reflect poorly on you. Especially if she's passive aggressive. Any MBA professor will tell you, if you have a passive aggressive person on your team, get rid of them immediately, they are dangerous...let them be someone else's problem, I hope it works out.

NNG, the winking girl is not going to call back. I sent her a text the other day to the effect and no response, I don't blame her, I guess.

Well, let's see how this week goes.

j.

[Emmy Lou]

June Mod Squad

Hi all, well it seems that having the boyfriend staying at mine makes the moderating so much harder. We've really been enjoying each others company but he drinks almost as much as I used to, so it's always in the flat. And he's very generous with good wine.
So over the weekend I drank quite a bit. Even though it was Sunday and an early start Monday, I stayed up til 1am drinking scotch and talking with him. Then he woke me three times in the night by just getting up and moving around the place...so tonight I'm AF. Because I've had more than usual this last week going without has made me feel a bit raw and jangley, I'm sure you all know the feeling. But knowing what it is does make it bearable. He's away in the country til Thursday so I won't drink again til Wed night as I've invited a friend for dinner. She's got four kids and a busy job so she always goes home reasonably early. I need to catch up on some serious sleep !
I wanted to send especially heartfelt commiserations to Bear. Losing your beautiful four legged companions is very, very sad. I feel for you.
Now it's sleep time,
Take care all,
X
Em