I don't want to be totally AF......,

[lex]

Frances- do you attribute your success to baclofen?

[frances]

Hi Lex - no, I didn't use baclofen. I think my situation is rare but for me what seemed to work was being AF for a full 9 months (during that time I broke my habit of drinking every evening) and then when I decided to try moderating, it was not with a mindset of 'regular' moderate drinking, but rather 'rare' drinking. I don't drink the vast majority of the time now. My previous moderating attempts were unsuccessful when I told myself I could drink a certain number of drinks a week, etc. - that never worked because I always wanted to make sure I drank what I was allowed, and then I eventually exceeded that. Now, I basically don't drink. I have no 'allowable' amount except that if I do drink, I don't drink much. One or two drinks. And when I do drink it is at some social events, but not all of them. I referenced 'indifference' because I have read about that on the medication threads here and it feels like that is where I am now. I don't drink often and I don't drink much, and this is relatively easy for me - I don't have to have a constant battle in my head about when I can drink and how much I can drink.

My biggest concern about my current situation is that it works well for me now, at a time in my life when there are not many social events. But I wonder how I will do later in life when social events might increase. That's one reason that I stay cautious and keep reading here, etc. - I really do not want to go back to how I was before - obsessed with alcohol. But the short answer to your question is I have never used baclofen nor any other medication to help stop drinking.

[blue1]

Hi Lex - no, I didn't use baclofen. I think my situation is rare but for me what seemed to work was being AF for a full 9 months (during that time I broke my habit of drinking every evening) and then when I decided to try moderating, it was not with a mindset of 'regular' moderate drinking, but rather 'rare' drinking. I don't drink the vast majority of the time now. My previous moderating attempts were unsuccessful when I told myself I could drink a certain number of drinks a week, etc. - that never worked because I always wanted to make sure I drank what I was allowed, and then I eventually exceeded that. Now, I basically don't drink. I have no 'allowable' amount except that if I do drink, I don't drink much. One or two drinks. And when I do drink it is at some social events, but not all of them. I referenced 'indifference' because I have read about that on the medication threads here and it feels like that is where I am now. I don't drink often and I don't drink much, and this is relatively easy for me - I don't have to have a constant battle in my head about when I can drink and how much I can drink.

My biggest concern about my current situation is that it works well for me now, at a time in my life when there are not many social events. But I wonder how I will do later in life when social events might increase. That's one reason that I stay cautious and keep reading here, etc. - I really do not want to go back to how I was before - obsessed with alcohol. But the short answer to your question is I have never used baclofen nor any other medication to help stop drinking.

Frances you are doing an awesome job!!!! And I'm sooo glad you post here!!!!

I am feeling a bit better....I have good days and not so good days with this asthma deal. I have never gone through anything like this in my life.

[ducky]

Hi Blue, glad you are feeling better. I don't have asthma but my allergies are worse this year than ever! Hang in there. Hope more modders will check in soon.

[frances]

Thanks Blue! I wonder what made the asthma get bad like that. Maybe the stress and emotions from your sister's passing. I hope it gets better soon.

Ducky so nice to have you checking in here!

Stew and TMH hope you are both doing OK these days. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving - - -and now Christmas is right around the corner. We plan to get our tree this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Mom's feeling much better lately so I'm very happy about that.

Take care everyone!

[blue1]

Thanks Blue! I wonder what made the asthma get bad like that. Maybe the stress and emotions from your sister's passing. I hope it gets better soon.

Ducky so nice to have you checking in here!

Stew and TMH hope you are both doing OK these days. Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving - - -and now Christmas is right around the corner. We plan to get our tree this weekend. I'm looking forward to it. Mom's feeling much better lately so I'm very happy about that.

Take care everyone!

I'm so glad you guys are checking in over here!

Frances...somebody else said the same thing about the asthma and the stress....but I'm feeling much better these days...not normal but better.

Ducky...thanks for your concern!!!

After the holidays I'm going to get some AF time in.

Hope everyone is having a successful day!!!

[blue1]

Oh...and Soooo happy your mom is feeling better Frances!

[frances]

Thanks blue. We are getting decorating done now which is fun - I can't wait until it's done and we can just enjoy it.

I have found myself thinking about drinking a little more the past couple of days. I haven't had a drink since Thanksgiving, but I found myself sort of thinking about allowing myself to drink more often since I've been doing so well - but I won't because I really really do not want to get back into that again. It was too much and if I drink more often I might get back to where I was. I came here for a reason. I was literally obsessed and had to drink every day and hated the idea of going anywhere where I couldn't drink. Life is so much better now that alcohol doesn't rule my life!

[frances]

Going from heavy drinking to moderating means saying no to drinking a lot more than you used to. Someone posted this on the newbies nest and I thought I'd share it over here. I love #4 on her list.

What To Do When Someone Buys You a Drink*. (*And You Don't Drink). — HIP SOBRIETY

[ToMyHealth]

Hi ~ been around. Haven't been doing that great. Keep saying today is the day I quit and then I think about Tues night ladies only party (2 blocks away), the 19th Club Christmas party, and we are having couples over for Christmas Day. And we are invited to go with a group downtown on NYE. Did that couple yrs ago & I was DD and hated it.

So yest I said so ok, if you are not ready to quit at least cut back. Last night I had 1 drink, milk with dinner. And, of course, could not sleep, well after midnight. Was going to join biking group this a.m. But lack of sleep & 50 deg....bowed out. Went back to bed, feel great now. Will go lift wts, W/R couple miles and play 18 holes of golf.

My point is: if only 1, why not None?

[frances]

Nice to see you TMH - sorry you haven't been meeting your goals. Been there so many times myself! Cutting back was always hard for me too - worked for a day or two but never much longer. That saying - if only one, why not none? - was what got me through many many days when I was completely AF for 9 months. It is so true! In and of itself there is nothing wrong with 'one' but for me, I could never consistently drink 'just one', so I had to go with none instead.

Not drinking through those holiday events would be hard - I agree. But once you get some decent AF time under your belt it truly does get easier to say no at events.

Glad you are feeling great now and hope you had a good golf game!

[frances]

It's lonely over here. Hope everyone is doing well. Things are good here. Still so much to do before Christmas but with so many blessings I am so grateful for so many things. Mom continuing to do well is one of them - she gets another scan next month and we'll see whether the treatment she's on is working. I hope it is!! The one thing she has is pretty bad fatigue and so my prayer now is that the treatment is working and that the fatigue gets better for her. But all things considered, things are going very well for her in this situation.

My 15 year old daughter spent the night with friends last night. These days I don't know some of her newer high school friends the same way I used to when she was younger. That always makes me uncomfortable. But they are nice and I don't have any real reason to worry - just the usual parental worry that I will be living with for the rest of my life! My daughter is a good girl with a good head on her shoulders and so far has been very comfortable sticking with her own set of values and not being influenced by others. I hope that stays true! She is not at all like I was at her age -I have a lot of regrets but at her age I had already started drinking and though I was a nice person, I did some very stupid things because of my partying. I hope she stays away from that, at least throughout high school.

I've only gone to one 'evening' Christmas party this year and was with my daughter so it was easy to refuse the drink when offered. From time to time a thought still crosses my mind to have a drink after a stressful day but just pushing the thought away and making a cup of tea instead has been working for me. The thought always goes away after just a couple of minutes.

[ducky]

Hey Frances, sorry it is so quiet. You seem to be doing great. Glad your mom is ok and hope that continues. I totally get being nervous about your daughter. Hard to relax when they are not where we can see them. Sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders though. You are doing a wonderful job at mods. Congrats on that. Hope to hear from THM and Stewarts and others soon. I am trying to move from harm reduction toward mods and am making some progress. Happy Holidays to all!

[frances]

H Ducky - great to see you, and thanks for the supportive words. I feel like I'm doing great but I am definitely not taking it for granted.

I'm not very familiar with harm reduction - what exactly does it mean compared to moderating? Anything I can do to help just let me know! You have been around MWO awhile (as have I!) so you are probably already aware of the toolbox thread - I'm sure there are other threads that are very useful too. For me habit breaking was key and just replacing my routine drinking activity with something else was extremely important. But others have a lot of other tips and tricks and ways to get past that feeling of wanting a drink.

I'm not sure why but something feels 'off' with me today. I am feeling tired and a little foggy. It is a very familiar feeling - very similar to how I used to feel when I was hungover! But this time I have it for totally different reasons (I can't quite figure out what it is...allergies maybe?). Anyway, I was thinking a few minutes ago how nice it is not to have this feeling so often like I used to! It's another thing I'm grateful for!

Off to hopefully finish my Christmas shopping now. Happy Holidays to you too!!

[ducky]

Hi Frances, I remember a member Nancy using the term. I think it has to do with the benefits of cutting back even if you do not cut back to the point of meeting the mod guidelines set up by the government. We are empty nesters here and tend to have cocktails most days. I just have not gotten to the place where I am ready to stop so concentrating on having less right now. I know you went AF for a long stretch and that is admirable! Hope you got your shopping finished. Have to do some wrapping here.