I don't want to be totally AF......,

[ToMyHealth]

Ok, on to Thursday and tomorrow I'll hit a week AF. Been a long time coming.

Slept fitfully last night. Might have been the ice cream! Woke up very early, felt groggy, almost got dressed to go for lab test but it was dark and Iphone said "fog". All lights got turned off and I slept for 2 hrs!

So off I go. Lab, Starbucks, gym, dentist (lots of housecleaning inbetween appts) & tonite's temptation is neighborhood Happy Hour. BTW, they happen every 2 weeks. May skip.

Need to run.

TMH
Day 6

[frances]

TMH and ActionGirl you are both doing so great!! I'm thrilled for you :happy2: I really think breaking the habit is important for success with this. At least it was for me. And I know how hard it is in the beginning. The brain and body just scream that they want AL. It is so important to eat or drink something else or do something else and then that feeling passes pretty darn quickly. And when it comes back again - as they say - - 'rinse and repeat'! After a good amount of time those thoughts wane and NOT drinking becomes the norm. I was truly amazed when that started happening.

Skipping the happy hour is not a bad idea TMH if you think it will be too tempting. I know it would be hard for me!

[blue1]

Hi guys....Happy Thursday!

Frances....I'm glad your mom is feeling better and I'm praying for positive test results and the cancer is dying.

Ag....I'm home most days by myself for hours and I definitely think boredom is a trigger. I've been looking for a job for a while now. I don't know if it's me being 50 or me being out of the workforce for 6 years...but no interviews yet. I'm thinking about doing some volunteer work in the meantime....just to get out of the house.

Hope everybody is having a successful day!

[actiongirl46]

Hi all -
Blue thanks for sharing that about being home. Sometimes I wonder if it is making me crazy! Although I mainly write or am on the phone so a cubicle would not be the best option for my work. Also my hubby is a stay-at-home dad most of the year. We are a little young to be bumping into each other all day but here in year 2 we have found a better rhythm.

Today I was at an all day meeting and then hit the gym just for a little bit (still not feeling that great). I didn't have any cravings! Maybe I need to book some AF activities in the evenings although that is when my kids are home so I hate to be away.

TMH - great job on 7 days. Or 6 if you went to happy hour. Regardless, you have a great string going, I'm right there with you. I do think changing habits (for me, getting all AL out of the house) is key. A long with a lot of other things, but it is a huge piece.

Have an awesome Friday!

[ToMyHealth]

Quick note to say good night. Did not go to Happy Hour last night. I have gone in the past without drinking, but I have also gone with intention of not drinking and getting caught up in party atmosphere and giving in. So best not.
Got results of blood test late today. Vit B levels way down and need 4 weeks of injections. Darn! Knew I should have kept taking my supplements. Asked if I could just go back on them but too low. Well, I want to feel better! Can always do supplements after. Sure hit Medicare deductible fast in 2016! Can't even remember how much it is but bills will remind me. And then there is the useless AARP supplement which I keep thinking of canceling, then worry something major will happen where need that 20% coverage. Know there are young families out there who must pay through the nose so really shouldn't complain. Sorry.
Good night.

[actiongirl46]

Hi all - TMH, what are your symptoms when your Vit B levels are low? Is it dangerous? I don't think I've ever heard of that. Health care is such a monster, I hate it.

Did you feel you missed out on HH? Or did you feel ok? I had the cravings again tonight but was able to surf through. Ice cream helped, oh boy, the last thing I need is another vice. Having hubby on board and all AL out of the house (and having us committed to that) has made a huge difference for me this quit, all the other times I've tried to do it on my own.

I'm going to continue to try to learn all I can about myself and my relationship with AL. I haven't really thought too much about it before. I met with my therapist today and she will help. I need to define what I need for myself, and I think she will help me do that safely and without any "denial" blinders. Anyway, that's where I'm at in the journey. I'm not waking up hating myself every morning so that is a really good thing. I'm on the road to getting better.

Frances, Blue, I hope you have a great weekend and have a chance to do the things you love. Take care! AG

[frances]

Hi - Glad to see everyone keeping with their goals! I got great news yesterday that mom's tumor is shrinking! I'm hoping this will help her get back into some routines in her life. She stopped some things, understandably, when she was first diagnosed in October - had some bad days after radiation but has been steadily feeling better since Thanksgiving and getting back to her hold self. She's not enjoying some of the side effects (mainly rash on her face and very itchy and swollen eyelids) but hopefully those will get better over time too. We just keep reminding ourselves how much worse it truly could be!

TMH I hope the vitamin B helps you feel better soon! AG sounds like you are taking some great steps regarding AL in your life. For me I kept drinking and drinking more and more, found myself starting earlier in the day on weekends, always finding a place to have a drink when I was out taking the kids places - like when I dropped them off before a game and they had to be there an hour before the game started - I'd go spend that hour drinking before going to the game...anyway this was happening all the time (my kids both play a lot of sports) - also I would have a drink many times on my way home from work because my commute was so long (ashamed to admit that!) finally I realized it was really getting out of hand. I knew I had to do something. there had been many times before that so it's been a problem for years.

I need to keep those things in mind whenever I think I have this thing beat! It may be dormant but it's in there!

I had started a roast last night but it was going to need a few hours and wouldn't be ready until around 8:30 and we wanted to eat early, so husband brought carryout home for dinner last night and brought a bottle of wine home with him. I didn't want any - really just didn't! I love that. but I did have a little bit of the leftover wine from what I was cooking with. Probably about a glass.

Hope everyone has a great weekend - I'm heading out to get some errands done - no other plans but maybe something will come up.

[ToMyHealth]

Hi. This will be quick. Rain expected shortly and I need more steps. Only a mile or so.

Actiongirl, it's like when you are dehydrated. Weak, dizziness to the point of almost passing out. I have been blaming the way Imhave been feeling on just that for about 2 yrs. one of the reasons I de ided to stop drinking..... at least for awhile.

Hi Blue...liked your post the other day. Just cuz I am talking about my AF days which maybe I shouldn't do, does not mean anyone can't post here. Come back. We miss you.

Frances, good news about your Mom. Thanks for sharing your stories. I had no idea. I mean, bet it seems hard to believe considering where you are at now.

My home has alcohol. I never expected dh to quit plus we have friends over who we keep Jack Daniels, certain kind of gin, wine for. It is getting a little testy. The other night dh commente under his breath "you are more fun when you drink" and this afternoon he left to play 9 holes. His parting shot was he would be home in time for Happy Hour. Better make sure I have some chilled V8 and cut limes......

TMH

[actiongirl46]

Thanks for the update on Vit B . . . makes sense and not a fun feeling. I can get a similar feeling sometimes from AL and caffeine.

Yes, Blue, I don't mean to put you off from your own thread . . . I am trying to get some AF days in for now and will see. I'm going to work on it with the therapist. I also have to work through it with my hubby as he is NOT in support of my former daily 1 - 1 1/2 bottle of wine habit . . . plus a few beers . . . that is the primary reason AL has been out of the house since 12/14/15. He has had it. So, a much different situation than yours TMH. Granted, we also have two teenage boys (ages 14 and 15) here at home. My sister thought our new arrangement is a little controlling, I think it is what I need for right now to get some true AF time in and reset the brain. I truly can't fathom not drinking ever again. At this point I don't know if I'm just fooling myself or not. Time will tell.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Lots of snow expected here.

[actiongirl46]

Frances, I meant to say glad to hear that about your mom. That is great news and I hope she continues to feel better.

I, too, used the school activities excuse to stop by the pub for an hour between drop off and pick up. Geez, not sure that is normal!!

[frances]

Blue, I read back and wanted to say good luck with your job search. I think volunteer work is a great idea and could also turn out to be a stepping stone to a paying job. I agree, being home could definitely be a trigger - I worked from home some days with my last job and that always meant I would start drinking sooner than the days that I went in to the office.

I played powerball yesterday but didn't win so I guess I need to keep my job!

TMH sorry to hear about your husband's comment. Reading around on this site, I know others have had similar issues. Have you talked to him about why you are are doing what you are doing? That might help. My husband still drinks daily - he was put off when I initially stopped and now has accepted it. One night I had a talk with him about it - I don't think I told him everything about it but enough that he understood why I felt something had to change. Actiongirl I also have two teenage kids - they were right around the same age as yours are two years ago when this started for me. I am also recently 50 and I think you posted the same for you (and Blue did too...a lot of 50 year olds here!). And my drinking was about the same level you describe, give or take a couple/few drinks on any given night. My husband didn't really have a problem though but now I do all of the driving around on the weekend nights etc. when the kids need to go somewhere or get picked up, and it has been really freeing for that. I also do those things with much more willingness and without getting irritated because it was cutting into my drinking! That is one benefit (among many) I have really enjoyed and feel good about.

[actiongirl46]

Yes, I have noticed there seems to be a lot of recent 50 year old female moms on MYO. Interesting! Frances, it is also interesting to me when I think I am the only one in the world who does this stupid #$% (boo hoo, poor me, pass the bottle excuse) and actually there are many of us. Even doing the exact same behaviors (note the carpool "pick-ups" we discussed before). It is so nice to find a group of like-minded souls here on MYO, as most of my friends at home (pretty much all) drink and many drink to excess.

[blue1]

Hi guys! I wasn't sure what you guys were talking about at first but then it hit me. When I posted about your journey....that wasn't directed towards you guys.....that was for the AF'er that was still trying to make us modders feel bad. I've gone through this before with some of them. I don't understand why some of them feel the need to come over here....reading our post and then judge us...that's all. I'm just saying we all have the right to do this our way.

[blue1]

I stopped the last post cause I didn't want to lose it lol
But that's all I was saying.
Glad to see everybody doing so well with your decisions!!!
Really happy about your mom Frances!

Yesterday I went over board...so I feel a little upset with myself....but I won't let myself stay here long. Right now I'm drinking water and Powerade....not much of an appetite yet.

There are a bunch of us 50'ers here huh...lol...that is very interesting.

Hope everybody is having a successful day!

[ToMyHealth]

Hi Youngins! Oh to be 50 again! Yet don't want to go back there either. At age 54, Lost my sister to pancreatic cancer, 3 weeks later lost my Mom as the stress was just too much for her. Looked forward to following summer not spending so much time in hospitals. Also retired. Day after retirement I got my own cancer diagnosis.

Good news is here we are 12.5 years later. Yes, I am 67.

Getting lots of little projects done today. No workout or walking as waiting for phone call from dr. To see if I can go in for first shot today. What was I thinking....making the appt for Friday. Need to get healthy now!