I don't want to be totally AF......,

[jerseygirl76]

Actiongirl46; I am going to limit the alcohol I bring in the house to begin with; purchase one time and then 'that's it for the week'. Good job you're on.

[Stewarts]

Hey guys, glad to see everyone is doing well. I think I saw someone mention "steps" yeah I got a fit bit too, I love this thing...hahaha. Things for me haven't really changed. I am living ok, I don't drink everyday, maybe a few times a week, but when I do, I do. last night I was at some events...good news, I knew when it was time to leave and did, although I stopped at a bar, played some music and had a few beers ??? I don;t know why, I haven't done that in a long time. I'm not beating myself up over it. I am just trying to figure out why. I think it's because I am in this limbo place of not being married yet. The planning is going on, we're not even officially engaged because I am waiting for the ring still. I think in my unconcious there's a devil saying to me, this all goes away soon, but it went away a long time ago already... LOL.. I became a comfort creature a long time ago.

Anyway, I am going skiing this weekend, without the Mrs., I will try to behave, we shall see.

j.

[actiongirl46]

Hey Stewarts - Enjoy skiing!! Don't do anything stupid, you know what I mean : ) What do you think you will lose when you get married??? Your freedom?? I still do things with my girlfriends but I get to live with my best friend.

Hi Jersey girl . . . have a good week!

I blew it last night . . . went out to dinner and stopped to get a bottle of wine on the way home. Ugh. I only drank half but violated my rule of no AL in the house. I'm not going to beat myself up over it and am determined to just move on. Hang in there!

[blue1]

Good morning guys!
AG....I've talked about most of this before you joined us....so no I don't think it's too personal lol
Well....I'm still mourning the lost of my two oldest sisters that passed 10 months a part.....when it rains or snows my roof leaks into my house like I don't have a roof and my walls are being washed away (so ugly to look at)....our car is rusted out....my hubby is a mechanic but there is nothing more he can do.....my 21 year old daughter is in an abusive relationship.....I could go on lol....but that's the stuff I think about when I'm sober and can't sleep at night. During the day I can kinda keep them at bay....but when it's quiet and still it's another story.

Hope everybody has a successful day!

[frances]

Hi all - AG hang in there. Keep an eye on things, breaking rules is a warning sign. rules do stink though, don't they? My goal has been to get to a place where I don't need rules and to be drinking on occasion only, and never overdoing it. I do think I've met that goal and that I am where I want to be, but I had to have the rules early in order to get there.

Last night I had two small glasses of red wine while watching the snowstorm. That was the first drinking since January 8. There was a bottle my husband brought home with carry out a couple of weeks ago and I didn't want it then. It was snowing and I thought a glass of red wine would be nice. It tasted good but at the same time it (surprisingly) sort of brought back feelings/memories of overdoing it and that was not a good feeling. I'm going to dump the rest of the bottle out today. Since I stopped drinking, and then started again with 'abstinence-based moderation', I have almost 100% of the time only had a drink when out or if there was company here at my house for dinner. Usually only between 0-3 times a month. Maybe there was a psychological thing last night that made me feel like I was breaking a rule. Who knows?

I'm glad you're asking about what people's goals are - I do think it's important to try to have some idea of what you want to do so you can evaluate yourself against it and try to set new habits. A vague 'cut down drinking' goal, to me, doesn't have enough definition to really see if you're succeeding and try to assess where things go wrong and don't, etc. (just my opinion).

Hi jerseygirl, blue, Stewart and anyone else out there reading - hope everyone is well!

[blue1]

Another AF day for me! I purposely let the wine and spirits close....they close at 5 on Sunday. I'm feeling very bored.....hubby watching football and my son is watching football downstairs....so I've been playing memory games on my phone that I downloaded for my 6 year old granddaughter LOL. Took a break to see what is going on with you guys.

Stew....I hope you are having fun skiing
and behaving yourself lol
AG....it's cool....don't be too tough on yourself.
Frances....good job on the two small glasses.
Happy Sunday to everyone reading or lurking!
Well....back to my games lol
Hope everybody is having a successful day!

[actiongirl46]

Hey Blue, nice job. I hear you about football, ugh, personally I prefer basketball or baseball. Thanks also for the advice, I'm not going to be too tough on myself or that will be really bad.

I had a good day today. I realized I needed to get out this afternoon and so I ran some errands. I was aware of the AV lurking but just ignored it. Not happening for me today.

Boredom is a huge trigger for me!! Hang in there

Frances, how was the rest of your weekend? Stew? Jersey Girl?

I'm oddly excited to be in bed early and hope to get a good nights sleep to tackle the week ahead. I need to up my exercise!! I have plateaued on the weight loss . . .

[blue1]

Happy Monday Guys!
Just checking in....didn't sleep last night...but I did get a nap this morning. I will be keeping my daughter's two children tonight.
You're doing awesome AG!!!
Hope everybody is having a successful day!:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

[frances]

Hi all! Happy for you Blue - great job staying AF!

The rest of my weekend was OK. Got to sort through some old papers that were cluttering up my home office. Still a lot to be done but that helped.

I was thinking today and a couple other times lately that I feel like I'm a bore. Then I read your post AG and thought - you feel like you could drink from boredom...I feel like I could drink from being boring! Am I more fun when drinking? So many people posting on facebook about their alcohol provisions for the snow storm we just got. And I talked to my best friend who told me how much she had stocked up. Two years ago that would have been me! And in fact, it was me, and I think it was a contributing factor to me finally having enough! I remember having snow days and drinking them away. And then feeling terrible for a couple of days after that. Ah the 2-3 day hangover. I don't miss that! But was I more fun then? I don't think so. The rational me knows I wasn't.

I don't know what I'm thinking....sitting at home with my husband and kids - I don't think drinking is going to make me more fun! But I do feel like I am not as much fun lately. I think I need to push to get us to socialize more. That will be a real test for me.

Feeling blah but I'm sure it will pass. Sorry to ramble.

Hope everyone else is good!

[blue1]

I'm not sure what you're feeling Frances....but hang in there.....I know you're on a good path!!!

On a good note....my 25 year old son got his GED today!!!!!!! I'm SO proud!!!!!! That lifted a great burden off me.....cause I signed him out of school when he was 16...with his promise that he would get his GED. Almost 10years later and 2grandbabies later....he did it!!!!!!

[actiongirl46]

Hi all -
Blue, I'm so sorry you are not sleeping. What's up with that? Do you sleep when you have AL? Do you wake up rested? I slept when downing a bottle or two a night but never woke up rested!! I know that many people (myself included) have or had trouble sleeping the first week they go AL free so maybe that's it? If that's the case it gets better. I take melatonin. It seems to help. I'm probably due for a doctors visit though to check on if there are any side effects, etc. For me though it really works. Hang in there! I do not operate well on little sleep, I turn into a MONSTER!

Hey Frances, I think all that hype over stocking up on the wine for the big snow is a bunch of @#$%. I used to live in a major NE city for years and the paranoia the media created over snow was ridiculous. And that was before Facebook, I can't imagine what it is like now with everyone chiming in on the noise and how "perfect" their snow-in is going to be. Holy moley, who cares. What really happens is all the AL companies and liquor stores just make more money.

Well, you certainly aren't boring virtually : ) What if you guys did something new? I forgot how old your kids are . . . I so get your dilemma though. My husband is an introvert and, well, I am not. Hence the boredom trigger for me as he is always happy staying home. But now that AL is out of the house I have to come up with other things. Tonight I took a music lesson (i'm learning keyboard) and then did a yoga class that I'd never done before. Things I would never ever do if I was drinking a bottle or two a night. It was fun. Then I had chocolate ice cream : )

Whew! Forgive me for rambling on and on. Have a great rest of your night all!! AG

[actiongirl46]

Cross post Blue!! That is great news, good for him for being persistent!!

[actiongirl46]

Frances, one more thing from chatty Cathy tonight . . . When I was out on Friday, a friend of my friend was talking to us. She was standing right behind me. She had some kind of drink in a martini glass and was slopping it all over the back of my wool coat! She also repeated herself 4 TIMES about how she wanted to have us over but her kitchen was being renovated. Seriously. 4 times in 15 minutes. Yes, I was counting because I really couldn't believe it was happening. It was obnoxious.

So, my point is, SHE WAS BORING.

[frances]

Thanks AG - I know you're right! And I've been that sloppy drunk - not only boring, but also pretty gross - myself.

Yes, I think if my husband and I did more things (or even if I did), then things would feel different. My kids are 17 and 15 - at an age where they are pretty darn independent and out a lot. 17 year old got his license 3 months ago and he will be going off to college next year so I better figure out what we are going to do with all of this extra time. I think I need to talk to my husband too. I think he's just as happy to stay home, but I definitely get bored with that. Yesterday turned out to be OK because I wound up doing much more in the office - put up some shelves, cleaned and organized more, hung a couple of pictures, fixed a closet door - and now, instead of looking like a junk room it looks like a real office! Maybe I'll be happier if I tackle small projects in the evenings when there's nothing going on. I just need to do it though...I've thought this same thought bunches of times!

Anyway thanks for sharing your thoughts - it helps! Now that yesterday is over I feel better today. by the way, we have something in common - I saw you posted somewhere else (maybe newbies nest) awhile back that you play guitar and keyboard for a church group - I used to do that exact same thing! Same instruments and everything! We had a praise band and played contemporary christian music. That was fun but had some issues at church and the lead of the group left and the group stopped playing. I do miss it! Before that (years ago before kids and commitments made us all unable to find a time that worked for everyone) I had a group of friends that got together a couple of times a month - we played 'regular' rock - that was a ton of fun too. Although I did used to drink way too much when I did it and I don't miss that part of it.

Blue - I'm so glad for your son, and for you too! Congrats to him!

[actiongirl46]

Thanks AG - I know you're right! And I've been that sloppy drunk - not only boring, but also pretty gross - myself.

Yes, I think if my husband and I did more things (or even if I did), then things would feel different. My kids are 17 and 15 - at an age where they are pretty darn independent and out a lot. 17 year old got his license 3 months ago and he will be going off to college next year so I better figure out what we are going to do with all of this extra time. I think I need to talk to my husband too. I think he's just as happy to stay home, but I definitely get bored with that. Yesterday turned out to be OK because I wound up doing much more in the office - put up some shelves, cleaned and organized more, hung a couple of pictures, fixed a closet door - and now, instead of looking like a junk room it looks like a real office! Maybe I'll be happier if I tackle small projects in the evenings when there's nothing going on. I just need to do it though...I've thought this same thought bunches of times!

Anyway thanks for sharing your thoughts - it helps! Now that yesterday is over I feel better today. by the way, we have something in common - I saw you posted somewhere else (maybe newbies nest) awhile back that you play guitar and keyboard for a church group - I used to do that exact same thing! Same instruments and everything! We had a praise band and played contemporary christian music. That was fun but had some issues at church and the lead of the group left and the group stopped playing. I do miss it! Before that (years ago before kids and commitments made us all unable to find a time that worked for everyone) I had a group of friends that got together a couple of times a month - we played 'regular' rock - that was a ton of fun too. Although I did used to drink way too much when I did it and I don't miss that part of it.

Blue - I'm so glad for your son, and for you too! Congrats to him!

Wow, we do have a lot in common! My kids are 14 and 15. The oldest just got his permit.

I had a chance to read back on this thread today. I think we are all around the same age too. Except Stew : ) too funny.

How goes it Blue??

I'm typing on my phone tonight, not good!!