I was doing so good (cold turkey) until I received a character assansination email from my brother this morning at 6:30.
I had set a boundary telling him I couldn't talk on the phone because I found him to be too critical in my emotional state. Thus he interpreted my boundary to be phone only and emailed me. He too drinks heavily. The email inpart is correct and in part not.
The problem is I need money. My other brother is the executor of my parents' estate and 6 months ago told me I had access to about 4 months of bills worth of money; if I needed it. A month ago, I asked for it. Unbeknownst to any of us, there is some potential tax risk if any of us access it that could affect the whole estate.
I have made some career decisions being 100% commissioned where I now desperately need that money. It appears each brother will offer up 25% out of their personal accounts but one brother is attacking me personally down to they type of tea I drink - literally. Granted it cost $25+ but I bought it when I was at my father's funeral so I would have something to soothe my nerves so I wouldn't get piss-out drunk around my family.
What they think of me is their business. My one brother's critical nature is a strong indicator how miserable he is in he own life ... that's another story and certainly not my problem to fix when my plate is full. I need to set a firm boundary but I also need the money. I didn't ask to borrow money; I asked for what was rightfully mine. If I make shitty decisions; I will live by the consequences.
Sooooo now I want a drink in the worst frickin way! As mentioned these 5 AF days have been cold turkey. I FINALLY got the book today and am 2 pages shy of finishing chapter 1. It does leave me with GREAT hope!!! Before getting the book, I was only planning on doing the CDs, supps and excercise with no Topomax, as that is very similar to how I had previously quit drinking for 5 years. Now I'm thinking I just may try the medicine too.
My problem is I am emotionally miserable TONIGHT, the supps and CDs won't be here unitl Saturday, and no telling when I can get the Topomax. My pickled brain is saying 'pour some juice over me baby and fill the bottle to the rim ... after you get your Topomax you can get sober'. Then the next problem is if I go to a doctor; I jeopardize my insurance rates which I pay for out-of-pocket ... If order online, no telling when I will get the meds.
Grrrrr ... off to read more of the book in hopes of finding answers there and then support here later on.
I had set a boundary telling him I couldn't talk on the phone because I found him to be too critical in my emotional state. Thus he interpreted my boundary to be phone only and emailed me. He too drinks heavily. The email inpart is correct and in part not.
The problem is I need money. My other brother is the executor of my parents' estate and 6 months ago told me I had access to about 4 months of bills worth of money; if I needed it. A month ago, I asked for it. Unbeknownst to any of us, there is some potential tax risk if any of us access it that could affect the whole estate.
I have made some career decisions being 100% commissioned where I now desperately need that money. It appears each brother will offer up 25% out of their personal accounts but one brother is attacking me personally down to they type of tea I drink - literally. Granted it cost $25+ but I bought it when I was at my father's funeral so I would have something to soothe my nerves so I wouldn't get piss-out drunk around my family.
What they think of me is their business. My one brother's critical nature is a strong indicator how miserable he is in he own life ... that's another story and certainly not my problem to fix when my plate is full. I need to set a firm boundary but I also need the money. I didn't ask to borrow money; I asked for what was rightfully mine. If I make shitty decisions; I will live by the consequences.
Sooooo now I want a drink in the worst frickin way! As mentioned these 5 AF days have been cold turkey. I FINALLY got the book today and am 2 pages shy of finishing chapter 1. It does leave me with GREAT hope!!! Before getting the book, I was only planning on doing the CDs, supps and excercise with no Topomax, as that is very similar to how I had previously quit drinking for 5 years. Now I'm thinking I just may try the medicine too.
My problem is I am emotionally miserable TONIGHT, the supps and CDs won't be here unitl Saturday, and no telling when I can get the Topomax. My pickled brain is saying 'pour some juice over me baby and fill the bottle to the rim ... after you get your Topomax you can get sober'. Then the next problem is if I go to a doctor; I jeopardize my insurance rates which I pay for out-of-pocket ... If order online, no telling when I will get the meds.
Grrrrr ... off to read more of the book in hopes of finding answers there and then support here later on.
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