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Experiencing the Other Side

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    #1

    Experiencing the Other Side

    I got together tonight with friends who were drinking buddies. I went armed with my AF champagne, and I had a pretty nice time at first, until everyone started getting really toasted (5 bottles for 3 people). I didn't drink, and any twinges of envy that I felt in the beginning evaporated as everyone got drunker. My feelings are all mixed up right now, because I was spending the evening with people I care about, but by the end, no one could finish a sentence, everyone was whooping and hollering. One of my friends was so drunk she could barely keep her eyes open.

    I've been there so many times before when I was drinking, and it was overwhelming, so eventually, I would leave. I did so again tonight, but I was sober. It wasn't as overwhelming when I was sober, and I thought, "This is NUTS!" a lot sooner. I'm sure they will all be embarrassed in the morning, knowing that I was sober. I feel embarrassed for them, and also embarrassed for me, because it wasn't long ago that I was right in there, whooping and hollering too, and I really don't feel in a position to judge them, but part of me can't help feeling disconnected because they were so drunk. I feel guilty about feeling disconnected, but I also feel very grateful that I was able to drive home sober to my home and have a regular drink of iced green tea and not be longing for a glass of wine.

    It was a good experience in the sense that I am really beginning to feel in my bones that this sort of stuff really isn't for me any longer. I am READY to let go of my "Party Girl" self. I don't want alcohol to "lubricate" my social life any more. It feels better to be in control of myself. I thought I would be struggling all night, so it was a really nice surprise to find myself feeling more committed than ever to sobriety.

    Thanks for reading.
    Hugs,:l
    Kathy
    AF as of August 5th, 2012
    Tags: None
    #2
    Experiencing the Other Side

    That's awesome Kath. Good for you.

    I think to myself (re: letting go of the Part Girl) that I have partied more than any "normal" individual has their life time. I don't need anymore.

    I bet you're feeling so good about yourself. It's nice to see ourselves evolving and growing.

    I've often said that the more situations we handle AF the more empowered you become. The better you see you really aren't missing out on anything. On the contrary, you're beginning to take charge of your life & live. Congrats!


    p.s. When I see people who over do it I often feel so embarrased for them. Mostly because I'm reminded that was me at one point (& that horrifies me now). It feels so much better not to be talked about, or the one that was too loud or said a little too much.
    ok-I'm rambling...time for bed!

    Congrats on a job well done.
    :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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      #3
      Experiencing the Other Side

      That's inspiring Kathy, thanks for sharing. Congratulations for not feeling pressured to drink along with them. I hope you are feeling grateful for the insight the evening gave you.
      Hugs,
      imatree

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        #4
        Experiencing the Other Side

        Hey Kathy...Way to go...way to go...and thx for sharing

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          #5
          Experiencing the Other Side

          Well done Kathy.. You have nothing to feel embarraased about, on the contrary, you should feel so proud of yourself for taking control of your life, for realising that you do have a choice, and you made the right one.

          Love, Louise xxx
          A F F L..
          Alcohol Free For Life

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            #6
            Experiencing the Other Side

            Irish, the other side takes on a whole new meaning for you, ha, ha. Kathy your thread is downright scary, ha ha.

            hooooooo, the other side. Sounds like the twilight zone (na na na na, na na na na).

            No, but well done, all the same. You showed them.
            Paddy
            Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog - eace:

            Comment

              #7
              Experiencing the Other Side

              Hi Kathy
              Well done. Did your friends pressure you into drinking with them? I have found that my girlfriends quickily forget that i'm not drinking as they become drunker. And I bet your friends don't feel embarrassed because it's a pattern they have always followed with nobody sober enough to notice when one of them is falling asleep mid sentence!
              I employed your mantra when I was struggling with my sobreity last night and thought of myself as a sober person who would feel well in the morning, and as advised, I too arnmed myself with soft drink so as not to fall into the trap of drinking. It worked for me, and like you, I think we are starting to feel comfortable in our own skin. Maybe for the first time ever.
              I am very proud of the way you face your demons Kathy and I'm grateful that you are there to help me face mine.
              Jane :goodjob:
              Jane :heart:

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                #8
                Experiencing the Other Side

                :goodjob: Jane! Well done. It was probably a tough job, and I was a bit scared that I came down too hard on you in yesterdays post. Sorry if that was the case ...
                Paddy
                Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog - eace:

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                  #9
                  Experiencing the Other Side

                  :goodjob: Kathy & Jane,

                  It really helps to read such inspiring posts, you both really give me hope.

                  Thank you,

                  Kitty
                  Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
                  Confucius

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                    #10
                    Experiencing the Other Side

                    My hubby told me that he hates it when I get drunk.

                    He says "You go somewhere I don't want to go and I can't be with you when you are there."

                    I guess it is "the other side."

                    :goodjob: Kathy and Jane!!!

                    Cindi
                    AF April 9, 2016

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                      #11
                      Experiencing the Other Side

                      "You go someplace I don't want to go and I can't be there with you." Wow.....that's insightful on your hubby's part Cindi. And similar to what Kathi is saying here. Watching others as they drink and become stupid can be a tool to change that positive feeling we had for the drink to a more negative emotion.

                      I used to just look at a wine glass and feel warm and fuzzy inside. I dreaded commercials or movies where wine drinking occurred. I feel much less bothered by the site of wine now, thankfully. I look at a glass of wine and remind myself wine does not bring lasting warmth and fuzziness at all! Quite the opposite....it was making me miserable!

                      Kathi....I am so proud of you. I see your thinking changing and that change of thinking can bring lasting peace AWAY from the grape. Hee Haw!

                      Mags

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                        #12
                        Experiencing the Other Side

                        I've want to say these are good friends and know that I'm not drinking. No one pressured me at any point to drink. I did bring my AF champagne because I was afraid that the wine would look good to me, even if the behavior didn't. ;-)
                        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                          #13
                          Experiencing the Other Side

                          PS: I still feel really good about myself, though. And these are good people. They've quit drinking and been sober for a year or two at a time, but always go back. I feel sad about that.
                          AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                            #14
                            Experiencing the Other Side

                            Hey Kathy - I just read your post and it gave me chills ( in a good, excited way). I feel you have gotten past some big obstacle and you are truly ready to do this- stay af I mean.
                            You did great! It makes a big difference when your true feelings about drinking change---
                            when you feel deep down that it is not an answer to anything and you don't want to feel bad anymore.
                            Don't worry about your friends at this point. I could see in your last two posts that you are defensive of them and supportive of them and that is great, but you still need to put yourself first for now. If I am preaching please forgive me... I was so happy when I saw your post because I knew exactly how you felt. You described it so well.
                            So happy for you Kathy - you are doing so great! :h :h
                            Lisa:l :l

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                              #15
                              Experiencing the Other Side

                              Great job Kathy!
                              Marcie

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