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Tuesday 17th

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    #16
    Tuesday 17th

    Flylady Update!!!

    Well, if ya can't be one, hire one!! I know I know...I sound like a spoiled brat. It's not as bad as it sounds!! Really it's not!! I've done many things for most of my adult life. Some good, some bad. Along with drinking and smoking, I also had a cleaning lady for most of it, up until January 2005. I have always hated housework with a vengeance. I come by that quite righteously as my mother, and her mother before her would rather clean stalls in a barn than scrub toilets and floors. For me it's picking up dog poop, but you get my drift. It's genetic so there is not a darn thing I seem to be able to do about this.

    For all those years, when I would have a financial pinch, I would eat peanut butter and jelly, not turn the A/C on, cut one leg out of pantyhose so I could get more mileage by wearing two pairs of one leg each, etc. etc. to keep my cleaning lady.

    I reluctantly made this tremendous sacrifice of giving her up when I quit my corporate job in Jan 2005 to join our fledgling family business. Fast forward to the fall of 2006. Mr. Doggy became an incessent nag about my smoking (he quit 1009 days ago to my 141). He quickly figured out a good incentive - "you can have your cleaning lady back with the money you save on stinkerettes." Well, I finally quit but believe it or not, I am rather conservative financially in all other respects but that cleaning lady thing. So I said no no...I'll keep doing it for the good of the budget (martyr martyr martyr I hope I spelled that right since I wrote it 3X). **interpretation: "keep doing it" in this case really means "keep not doing it and keep feeling guilty about it"**

    Now that I have quit drinking too I am 1) saving enough money each month for a cleaning lady AND a small bit of shopping and 2) I WANT MY CLEANING LADY BACK WHAAAAAA!!!! (may I please have some cheese to go with that whine)

    I broke down and told Mr. Doggy during a little lunch break today that I really truly cannot be fully and totally happy without my cleaning lady after all. Being the wonderful person that he is, he said: "so what's stopping you? A deal's a deal. And I'm really proud of you for quitting drinking all by yourself" (and by that he means "he" never nagged me to quit - geez - nobody is alone around MWO, thank the Great Pumpkin for that!!)

    So. I guess my statement yesterday that financial rewards would be out for awhile is being reversed. And a certain man will probably be veree lucky later if I can stay awake long enough, or if he will wake up when I do which will probably be after about 2.5 hours of sleep. Anybody like this Flylady program better than the original????????

    WHEEE!!!!

    DG
    2 hours and 45 minutes away from finishing 100% of week 1 AF Today is just an AWESOME day. It's a rocket fuel in yer kudzu sort of day!! Will enjoy this feeling as long as it lasts!
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


    One day at a time.

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      #17
      Tuesday 17th

      It's a rocket fuel in yer kudzu sort of day!!

      ok, I can dig that
      nosce te ipsum
      (Know Thyself)

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        #18
        Tuesday 17th

        Kitty... a month... my god girl! How that time has flewn by. stick with it. You've got such a level headed attitude, and I like your realistic thinking. It is hard isn't it... I think just these past few days I'm feeling just the tiniest bit complacent about my sobriety, so need to focus on it a bit more. I just feel so damn good

        DoggyGirl, I love your enthusiasm... bottle it baby! Sooo well done on your 7 days. It's an amazing feeling, isn't it?! I feel like I'm a jeanie that's been released from a bottle (my bottle was a wine bottle :H)

        Bernie
        :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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          #19
          Tuesday 17th

          Breez, get better sweetie. Jump back into bed, under the doona and enjoy some peace and darkness, so you're revitalised for your holiday *hug*

          Doggy, (funny username... I'm picturing -- uh never mind ) I reckon you should blow caution to the wind and get that cleaning lady back. I'm a good money manager also, and work from home. My reasoning is that seeing as I work (paid work) at home, I don't want to have to turn around and do housework on top. That's my rationalising... I'm sure you can come up with a good one for yourself too :H But definitely get one. Quitting the cigs and the booze... you'd be saving a small fortune. My cleaner comes in fortnightly (did it weekly for a while but found it unnecessary) and are worth their weight in gold.

          G'day to everyone else!

          Bernie
          :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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            #20
            Tuesday 17th

            Hi - uh - i'm getting shakey...
            Reminded BF today that I still want him to move out... he's being pissy, acting like a victim, etc. We've been communicating only via email with this....

            on one hand I feel sorta bad because he is trying to make changes on hte other i have to get this over with. I realize it's not just his drinking... I just don't want to be with him.
            I'm not sure what is happening inside me - like anxiety attacks or something... i'm still trying desperately to finish my work project today, every hour or so my heart starts beating like crazy and i feel like i'm going to burst out of my skin.

            i'm not feeling tempted to drink - just feeling a bit freaked. I think I feel scared. I want to feel strong and know that he can't do anythign to hurt me. I wnat ot be stable and confident and stick with my positive affirmations. I dont' want to go home but don't have anywhere else to go. Now all of a sudden I'm worried and scared about everything.
            This will pass right??
            Hugs,
            imatree

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              #21
              Tuesday 17th

              Huge thread. DG, I'm exhausted just reading your post!! so much energy, I feel ashamed to be sitting at the computer in slothful night attire...I should surely be doing SOMETHING! :H Seriously though, harness that motivation because you need to pull on it when complacency hits. Bernie struggling with that monkey at the moment and I can relate to that as I had to deal with it recently too.
              Enjoy the retirement kathy, but plan a period of peace and calm followed by a new activity perhaps. It's important for people like us to keep our days structured and busy, or trouble brews...
              I have to share, I had 2 private messages from Roberta yesterday. i am so chuffed! Like a silly Kid in a lolly shop. I even bragged to my husband and I never talk to him about MWO.
              Probably the closest thing I will ever get to a brush with celebrity, although I did meet Anthony Hopkins once. But he was so pissed he won't remember!
              Paddy was over on the Topa board Det, I was moaning about the muscle pains on it. Is anybody else suffering leg pain with the Topa??
              Jane:anyone:
              Jane :heart:

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                #22
                Tuesday 17th

                Ima... those symptoms sound a bit like a panic attack or heightened anxiety (pre panic attack level). I'm not 100% sure about it but is my guess. Under extreme stress I will get similar symptoms. Eeeck!

                Ima, try not to feel guilty. It's so hard, I know. In the past when I've realised I need to finish a relationship, I always feel so guilty. And why is it that it's usually the woman to end a relationship that's going nowhere? :H I hoe you're feeling better... just remember it will pass.

                Bernie
                :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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                  #23
                  Tuesday 17th

                  Hi to everyone again...

                  Just wanted to pop in Imatree and give you a big hug (((((Imatree)))))) Of course I haven't been here long enough to know much about your situation. Breaking up is sure hard to do though whether you are the breaker or breakee. I hope you figure out what is causing your rapid heart beat...I'm guessing panic attack / anxiety something or other too. Hope you can see your doc. Hope things go smoothly with the changes going on in your life.

                  Another (((((Imatree))))) for good measure.

                  See you tomorrow...

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Tuesday 17th

                    Hey Guys do the breaking up when the relationship IS going somewhere!:H (Guys on MWO excepted of course! Don't want to have Hablur or Deter or Macks comin' after me and scolding!)

                    Who said I was retiring Jane? You've mistaken me for Louise I think. I sure do WISH I was retiring, but I fear I will have to work until I'm 70!:upset: I don't want to even THINK about that!

                    DG, I want some of your rocket fuel!

                    Ima, lots of hugs for you honey! I have the feeling you might have to pry bf out with a crowbar. Of course you are feeling some panic--why wouldn't you? Of course you are anxious. Big changes are coming, and you're facing them sober. It will get better. You will do what you have to do, and you will be okay. If you go home, you'll save some $$$ to make a new start. Life is so much harder these days, a lot of people have to go home for a while to get a fresh start.

                    I haven't had any pain with the topa, Jane. Just perpetual dopa and lack of motivation.


                    Anyway, I've got to get off now, and vacuum. Ugh!


                    Love to all,:h :l

                    Kathy
                    AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                      #25
                      Tuesday 17th

                      Kathy, you are so sweet ...
                      When I said I don't want to go home, I meant I don't want to go home to my home, cuz bf is there. I don't have any family, no other home to go to. So I'm here at the office still, 6:30, will be here til the sun sets likely, or whenever the hell I finish writing. Oops! that's right - I'm not supposed to be here on the forum!
                      Hugs,
                      imatree

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                        #26
                        Tuesday 17th

                        Oh, duh! Well, you get a free pass for being on the forum, you're stressed out, but back to work now dear! (I never did vacuum myself. ;-) )
                        AF as of August 5th, 2012

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                          #27
                          Tuesday 17th

                          Imatree, did you have panic disorder prior to when you took up drinking? it may have been suppressed by the alcohol and now emerging...or it could just be a stress related temporary thing as others have suggested.
                          Jane, i've never tried topa...I'm doing campral and the anti-dep citalopram at a low dose.
                          Poor Paddy is down on himself...we'll have to give him a wedgie to show we still care
                          nosce te ipsum
                          (Know Thyself)

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                            #28
                            Tuesday 17th

                            Determinator - I don't know about panic disorder - good question. the last therapist I saw said I had post traumatic stress disorder, after I told her about the shit that happened to me in my house when I was a kid. So I would assume panic disorder would follow. Makes sense... normally I'd drown stress with booze...

                            Speaking of which.... okay, I'm hoping here that i'm the last post on this tuesday thread and the rest of you won't read this because i'm ashamed of myself... i've booted myself out of the abstainers club. I finally left the office after 12+ hours, did NOT want to come home because of BF vibes, but couldn't stand being at the office anymore (and STILL didn't completely finish the project and have to return at 7 am!!). So decided to go for a leisurely drive. I live on a lovely island in the Pacific Northwest. But just a drive just wasn't enough apparently. I wasn't even craving real bad. I just did it. I went to a convenience store (how dare they be so f*g convienient) and got two little tiny bottles of wine and drove my favorite waterfront drives. Well, then, uh, on the way home, I got two more of those little tiny bottles of wine.

                            Home now. Tension so thick makes you want to floss your teeth just walking into the living room..... I can't wait til this is over. How can love turn so ugly. Why does it happen this way again and again and again. And again.

                            Back to day one af again tomorrow. That hurts, I gotta admit.

                            To top it off, tomorrow I visit with my sister who is doing an RV tour of the US from Florida. Haven't seen any family in 3 years. She's the only one who speaks to me. Lots of freaking family stuff arising in my heart and mind. Last time I saw family was when my brother was dying of lliver disease. Before that my mom's funeral. Before that my dad's funeral. Just a bunch of ick.

                            yu. ok. i'm going to go ahead and drink that last tiny little bottle of wine.
                            Hugs,
                            imatree

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                              #29
                              Tuesday 17th

                              ima, u r doin ok girl, just dont let stuff drag u down, tension is horrible, the not talking etc, ha ha im a fine 1 4 advise hey,,!! can understand the wine but 2morrow i hope u r back to ima the free 1, lots a love an thanks 4 your support,
                              if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got!

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                                #30
                                Tuesday 17th

                                Ima, I don't think you should be leaving abs... you belong here.

                                First of all, I think you need to recognise all of the great work you've done so far. Don't just write that off... just jump back into the abs way, and see how you go. Second of all I think you should cut yourself some slack. You've got a lot of stuff going on in your life and while I am definitely encouraging you to do what you want to do (ie presumably abstain) I also think it is reasonable thta you would be finding it hard to commit and make that change to abs right at this moment with all that's going on. Having said that, the sooner you jump back into abs mode, the better and easier it will be for you.

                                I'm sending you one huge big cyber hug! Please don't feel ashamed.

                                Bernie
                                :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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