Saturday 21st July

[jane rees]

Hi Abbers

Well I haven't checked in for a couple of days and that is clearly a mistake. Such thought provoking threads and a couple of newbies popped up too! That's fabulous and welcome.

I related to thought2much's struggle. I have been reading Jean Fitzpatrick's books and she regularly talks about how alcoholics start to drink to develop an emotional persona they are more comfortable with. Then when, and, if they quit alcoholics have to re-learn who they are. The real authentic person ceased to exist once the alcoholic personality took over.Perhaps that was at only 18 years of age!
Sobreity is a period of enormous change, particularly in one's relationships and friendships.
Sobreity is a time to rediscover the real person inside and start to like that person! Inevitably, some relationships/friendships may never be the same to the sober person as they were to the drunk person. They may need to be sacrificed for survival.
That is the price of living an authentic life.

Phew, i need doggy Girls soap box smilie picture thingy :soapbox:

love jane x

[Paddy]

Saturday 21st July

Good on you, Jane. Got rid of that one! But it's true. I couldn't agree more with the Irish author (well she sounds Irish, ha, ha).

I'm willing to sacrifice that emotional personality, and become dopey Paddy, which Topa does to me. So be it, but it works. At least the cravings have left me.

Day 4 AF again.

[Kitty]

Saturday 21st July

Hi abbers,

Hope your legs are feeling a little better Jane. I've been getting the most horrible pins and needles in my feet due to the Topa, they almost hurt. It goes away if I move around but comes back if I spend any time sitting down. Hope it goes away soon or I'm going to have to titrate down and come off it. Had it in my hands too yesterday after riding my bike.

Off to my mom's later today to see her new house so that will be nice. I'm feeling a bit low today so I think a night away will be good for me.

Sorry to be on a downer.

Hope you all have a great weekend, whatever your plans are,

Kitty

[Arial]

Saturday 21st July

Good morning Abbers!

Jane - so true - adjustments certainly need to be made to keep to this chosen patth - and not always easy ones. Glad the Topa's working Paddy, and when the side affects pass it will be even better! Congratulations on day 4 and hope you have a brilliant weekend! And Kitty - hang in there and hope the Topa settles down for you, too - if not there are other options so you'll be able to find something that suits.

I'm also trying to catch up with news over the last few days - Breez I hope you're feeling better soon (if not already!), Deter - hope the shoulder's not too painful and they can find out what's wrong soon (it is horrible waiting for results, though, so thinking of you), How did the race go, Scooby? and how are the Scottish highlands, Popeye? I had a wonderful weekend hiking in the Alps recently - just what I needed to keep perspective and clear my head!

Leaving you with a quote I found that I think worth sharing as I think it holds true for the changes we are trying to make...

The secret of making something work in your life is,
First of all, the deep desire to make it work:
Then the faith and belief that it can work:
Then to hold that clear definite vision in your
Consciousness and see it working out step by step,
Without one throught of doubt or disbelief.
(Eileen Caddy)

Take care all and wishing you all good luck with your goals today x

[Doggygirl]

Saturday 21st July

Hello hello monthly abbsters!

jane, that was a great soap box ramble to start of off! This certainly is a thought provoking time. After reading your message through a couple of times, and then thinking about it, I am really glad I found and married the Mr. Doggy I did. Him being practically a non drinker is a huge plus now that I'm quitting. As my drinking escalated over the last several years, THAT put something negative into the relationship. Now that I'm coming out of my drunk person and into my sober person, we actually have more in common. I think I am VERY lucky in that regard - at least if things continue to trend the way they seem to be starting out. Does that make any sense? I'm still on my first cup of coffee and the rocket fuel in my Kudzu hasn't fully kicked in yet.

The other night when I went shopping I stopped at Walmart (cheapy discount store for those outside US). The only shoes I ever buy at Walmart are cheap house shoes when I need a new pair (usually due to doggy chewing). I needed a new pair and saw these shoes that are sort of a cross between a house shoe and something you could knock around outside a bit in. $7 dollars. I have an issue with pain in one of my feet lately. LOL - these $7 shoes are more comfortable than my recently purchased, "special" $100 walking shoes. I better haul ass back to Walmart and buy about 10 pairs of these things.

Today is dog training day so I will be surrounded with drinking triggers. But I handled it last Saturday so I know I can handle it today. NO DRINKING TODAY!!

Arial thank you for sharing that quote. I really like that - I believe it's TRUE!

Paddy congratulations on Day 4. I like dopey Paddy! (I don't think you are dopey!)

Kitty I'm sorry that the tingling side effects kicked in. They sound bad enough to have you really frustrated. I hope they pass soon! How is your kitty? I miss his avatar.

I hope everyone has a great AF day!

DG
Day 11 AF * * * * * * * * * * *(my gold stars!)

[Determinator]

Saturday 21st July

Happy Saterday AB-o-rigineees near and far! Looks like a mighty deep and thoughtful weekend for us AF types which is always good to see. Think I'll go and do a light workout inspite of my shoulder. At least I can always ice it down if it gets bad again and a I know I'm not using it as an excuse to get plastered. Funny how the slightest sign of pain, stress, or even a cold and I'd go straight to my old "pal" and start drinking. Now days when I'm having trouble sleeping in bed it doesn't really bother me too much and I just smile to myself and think how strong I am now even short on sleep I'm ok whereas when I drank a ton and passed out early those extra hours didn't do me any good at all as I felt like crap all the time. Just started taking Acetyl-L Carnitine yesterday...see how that helps...supposed to be good for brain function and even weight loss...we'll see
Be well.....

[ScoobyDoo]

Saturday 21st July

Well put Jane! I realy do agree with that.

I'm having a pretty relaxing weekend. It's 3am Sunday morning (we are such a night owls!) and we're lying in bed, Mick with laptop and me with Lappy. So romantic! :H I went shopping yesterday by myself and just enjoyed some time on my own. I think I'm fighting off another cold because I'm really not feeling well. My son is at a sleepover party tonight so a big sleepin is on the cards in the morning. Yeah!

I'm on day 48 AF It found myself a tad frustrated (still happens sometimes) that Mick was able to enjoy his few Sat night drinks (literally only a few unlike my 'few' that would have actually been 10) and I can't. Sometimes I wish I could have some alternate drug to take just once every 6 months, so I could party on sometimes, but without all the negative effects of alcohol, that I quite clearly canot handle. I wonder where I coulkd buy a half tablet of ecstasy and go partying! no but seriously... do you know what I mean? I guess ultimately it's just still a bit of grief over the fact that I will never be able to drink alcohol again... sometimes it's just damn daunting (but obviously worth it).

The benefits I get from not drinking FAR outweigh the benefits I used to get from drinking.

Everyone's doing so well... keep it up!

Bernie

[ScoobyDoo]

Saturday 21st July

PS Determinator, I only need about 6-7 hours sleep a night since giving up the grog. I used to need 10 hours a night when I was drinking. And the quality of my waking hours is awesome.

I also got out the L-Carnitine this week and didn't realise it was good for weight loss, so fingers crossed that works... sounds great!

[lucky 2.0]

Saturday 21st July

Hello all -

Boy, I feel good. I did the sleep hypno last night and had a good healthy breakfast and all the supps. Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day. Organized my itunes library, cleaned, talked to SO, and am now listening the the MWO Daily Subliminal CD for the first time in months. I like it. Feel like the seagulls are speaking to me but not sure what they are saying! lol

I have been very caught up in the humor (hence Pope Duck!) and friendships of this site lately and want to continue with the frivolity but also remember the basic principles.

I am off to the gym before a nice date. I am only on Day 4 of abs. Sure feels good.

Best of health to us all! And Happy Saturday, or Sunday- whatever the case may be.

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday 21st July

Hi Abbers!

Today is Day 40 for me, so I'm feeling rather proud of myself today. But I've also been feeling a nagging tiredness that is really bumming me out, too. I don't know if it's depression or low thyroid or topa (I'm only on 150 mg) or what. Maybe it's my daughter going to college in a few weeks, too. Who knows? I'm going to have another thyroid test, since the last one was borderline low.

Anyway, relating to your thoughts, Jane, maybe my real personality, at least for now, is sort of depressed.:upset: I mean my heavy drinking really got started over marital troubles and an eventual divorce. I know I've processed some of it in therapy, but I hadn't been completely sober in processing it. I probably have to go back over a lot of it again sober to really deal with it. Gee, I can't tell you how thrilled I am about that....

Paddy, I would never in a million years think of you as dopey! I can relate though. I can concentrate on the hard parts of my job, but then completely space out over remembering a simple word. Getting things from short-term into long-term memory is a major task!

Kitty, hang in there with topa. I had the tingling for a while, but it is completely gone now. If it is really bothering you, titrate up more slowly, or go back to a lower dose and stay with that a while longer before you start back up again.

Arial, thank you for sharing that quote, it is uplifting, and something that is brightening my day.

DG, I am laughing over your house slippers. My niece got me a pair of slippers for Christmas, and if I could, I would wear them everywhere! Aren't slippers great? I'm glad that you are rediscovering Mr. Doggy too. Sounds like he's a keeper for sure!

That L-carnitine sounds interesting, Deter. Let us know the results of your experiments today, okay? Good on you for working out, too. Just take care of that shoulder! (says mother hen)

Scooby, you are really strong to be able to tolerate your hubby drinking. I think that it's pretty normal to be a bit bugged by it sometimes. Good for you to recognize that you are still grieving at times. I have so much faith in you, girl!

lucky, it sounds like you are having a good, productive AF day with more yet to come. Good for you. It's always good to see you here!

Anyway, I have a choice now to go take a nap--delish--or go out and plant some stuff I've been meaning to plant for several weeks now. Hmmmm.... I think I will plant the plants. I can always nap a little later, right? I'll feel so much better getting something done.

Okay, onward and upward.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[vinophile]

Saturday 21st July

I just posted a long thread and it went poof!!!!!
I wish you all a great an sober Sat night
See you in the morning!!!!!
Janet

[vinophile]

Saturday 21st July

Isn't it ironic that the long posts,where you respond to everyone and put a lot of thought into, dissappear and the short meaningless ones take.

Hope this isn't a preview of how my evening is going to unfold!!!!!

Janet

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday 21st July

Of course it isn't a preview, Janet!! I can relate, though; it is so darn aggravating! I hope you have a terrific AF evening.

I chose planting and mulching over a nap, and now I am wide awake and much happier with myself. :yay: My back hurts a little, but it's nothing a good night's rest won't take care of! So I'm feeling a whole lot better.

I really like being able to "talk out loud" to all of you and myself here. I think it helps me make better choices.

Thanks all for being there.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[jane rees]

Saturday 21st July

It helps me make better choices too, Kathy.
I made a mistake with the authors name in my starting thread, it's KIRKpatrick not Fitzpatrick. I work with a Fitzpatrick and repeatedly muddle the names. Can I please blame the topa???? Today, I have decided to attempt to increase the topa dose again. I tried last week and the leg pain was so bad I crumbled after only 2 days. But, I start my new job next Monday and I want to be on a reasonable dose before the stress hits, with no side effects much.
I too feel a little flat at the moment with ' the path'. I don't seem to be much fun to be around, whereas i was always the life and soul. And whilst i do recogonise that is inevitable, and I will get to know myself ( oracle! ) , becoming dull is confronting!
Freezing cold morning, but the sun breaking through and so I think a bike ride will shift the self pitying rambles of the mind. My youngest is back from her jaunt to UK/USA, full of the wonders of travel and adventure. My son rang last night from Spain where he is backpacking..." off to Italy tomorrow, Mum! ". God bless the Kids, and lets get those lovely young 'uns out of Iraq so they can live their lives too...eace:
Jane

[Newyear]

Saturday 21st July

Good evening all - just wanted to check in and say hello. Kathy- a very special congrats to you for the big 40:clapclap: :rockon:

Janet...I hate when that happens so I'm going to make this short too ...
btw...good to see you here and hope things are going well for you

Scoobs...I hope you are not getting sick again- you stay well! I do know what you mean by still missing that 'escape' bit that alcohol gives you and wanting to fill it with something else. I got nervous/anxious today(won'tgo into the reasons why) and happened to be in the grocery store when I recognized that I was feeling that way. I got some af beer. It is such a reflex. But I am happily sober now and going to bed.

Have a good night all. Oh...I'll have to post on my date thread..I had date #2 Fri after work.

Night
:l
Lisa