BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Ladies - I will happily submit to the dunk tank if that nice young lady who is in there already stays in there with me to hold my hand!

Satori

xxx

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Welcome Meditation Mama :welcome:

Yes - my meditation was often the first thing to suffer when I got going with the beer too!


Good to have you here.

Satori
xxx

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

pinkie;179023 wrote:
Satori, you are not the main man because you were the only man here..you were the main man because of your sexy bushy eyebrows,your smoking hot "up do" with attached weapon and lets not forget the 1 ab when the light is just right! But thats not all you have going for you, if you really want to know what put us over the edge it was the photo of you and the other members of the cheer team. Now that created nasal explosions world wide!

Aw Shucks - thanks Pinkie - but remember - I have 2.5 abs now






See!


Satori
xxx Attached files [img]/converted_files/304713=1508-attachment.jpg[/img]

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

rob;179007 wrote: Sorry Chief and July, you guys are so Quiet and Polite that if forgot that you were of the male persuasion.

Rob

Are you by any chance implying that I am NOT Quiet and Polite???????????

Satori
xxx

[Chief]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Quiet and Polite? WTF? Yes I am of the male persuasion. Just because our posts aren't dripping with testosterone doesn't mean the "nads are retracted". Count me in on the cheerleading squad. What is the female/male ratio here? 2 to 1? If so then I think it is balanced... what do you think Satori?
On a serious side: Lotus- Yes you can do it. I'm on day 4 and if I can do it you can. Stay on here and keep reading and posting and get a plan together. It's not gonna just happen. You have to be aggressive. There is no passive way to do this. You are either driving or you are riding. Get in the drivers seat and refuse to turn over the wheel! We will help you. We can do this. You just have to quit bullsh*tting yourself, address the problem and make a plan. If it were easy none of uswe would be here. Pm me anytime if you would like to talk...Don

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Help....

Hello all - help....I've had no internet all day and I need you soooh badly....

I have just spent the most beautiful 5 days with my man - we've been on and off for 5.5 years...I simply wont accept that he's sooh there for me (never been not there even when we've split up or I've been pissed) but WILL NOT COMIT...

I was really excited about telling you all that last night, in his arms, I felt a funny feeling and realised with a surpise that it was something I hadn't genuinely felt for years - Happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was wonderful and I thought all was going to be just fine now...... I mean life and all that will have its moments but I know he loves me, I love him and now I'm sober he's pleased and .... But there he was suddenly saying he was going to move into a bedsit in town...not us together AGAIN..... (He stayed for 18 months with me once but never had more than a toothbrush and razor in a carrier bag in his car....)

He put a ring on my wedding finger 3 years ago but said nothing, then it broke and he didn't mend it or get it mended, then we split up and he said in an argument, "I loved you enough to marry you" (which he never did of course!) and has never alluded to it again...ever. I know he loves me and I know he doesn't want anyone else and sees us together forever but...."Yes, I guess so, we'll see, I don't know what's going to happen, might, not sure, just surviving today, what's the problem, I'm here for you aren't I?, we get on OK don't we?....."

The answer's all there isn't it? I stick around and just get the bits that I get and be grateful or end it finally (instead of half-hearted endings adding to about 7 around this issue) and look for a man who actually wants to come home to OUR bed instead of visit mine, who wants to cook in OUR kitchen and not help in mine and who wants to, even occasionally, discuss what we might like to see/have in a joint future....

Is that so bad to want...or, dare I say it, expect after nearly six years?

I'm 50 this year and want to 'grow' an old age.... (I know, mid life crisis I expect!) and he's 71 this year but seems to think there's lots of time "to see what the future brings"....

After the joy of last night I am reeling and keep expecting to wake up still in his arms and today has been just a huge nightmare.....

I know it's my reaction to what hesaid but I know I need to have a rudder on this little ship and a course to steer or we may have a great sail but end up in the middle of the ocean or somewhere we really don't want to be....

I hurt soooh much - I can't stop crying and I am sooooh scared I'll have a drink. I know I'm sober for me and I don't want a hidden attack on him by taking a drink but I don't know why I bother... even sober he doesn't want to commit to me.

I always do this...find men I can't have...married, wont commit, one alcoholic, one (my kid's father) who sat on his bum all day and let me do all the earning and then took us to bankruptcy anyway....and now even the man who loves me to bits and CAN marry me and wants to spend the rest of life with me (but with hindsight only and not upfront commitment) just drifts on and expects me to wait just cos he knows I love him... I must be shit somehwere inside even if I thought I was doing so well now.... It MUST be me; I pick 'em....! The thing is, by 50, all the decent, comitting, non drunk, non-issued (I can talk!!) men are out there IN marriages/real partnerships... THat's why they're not 'available' (and I am glad for them and their ladies honestly - I am not jealous of them - just want one of my own!

I think I can see - I've got to get a life for me and if he doesn't want part of it - like I am just not THAT special to him - well, at least I'll have a direction. The thing is that that will be 300 miles awy from here back with MY family...(not a lot to you Americans and Aussies but in the UK...hmmmm!) ANd rather further than under the same roof!!!

Is it me??? And what do I do with this pain....

I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh happeee just 15 hours ago.... I just don't understand. I knew something would hit me (life's like that and that's OK) but, so suddenly and I felt soooooh good and strong and happy yesterday...in just one day....

I know so many of you have got REAL problems with so poorly relatives and children....I am really, really sorry to go on about this as, I know, this too shall pass (but I'll still miss him). I am thinking of you and hoping your days are going really well.

At least I could get my laptop working and reach you all - I've missed you!

Well, he goes away anyway on Wednesday for 3 weeks with his family so, I was going to miss him desperately anyway (thanks DG for your little bit - I cried but it helped to know how much I felt and was much better out than in...but now the crying's changed...) Three weeks seemed long enough - forever??..

He wasn't going to be there for my daughter's wedding and maybe.... All this on and off with him but if I was a prat and pissed then why should he stick around and take me on holiday with him or come to my daughter's wedding? THey were organised when we were appart May-July this year....?

Thanks so much for listening everyone - if you have by standing my moaning! It's helped to type it out anyway. Delete is top right on the keyboard!!!

Love
Feet x

[ducky]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi Finding,

I could write a book here but I will keep it short. I could have written your post 9 or 10 years ago. I spent 6 years, off and on, with the "love of my life." During the off times he was busy with other women, but when we were on we were "on." After the millionth breakup, almost all initiated by me because he would not commit, I had the strength to stay away, even when he continued to pursue me. Although he told me all of the time that he just wasn't ready to remarry, he managed to get married and have a child (one of my dreams) not too long after we parted.

He married one of the "other" girls, one who waited I guess.

I do still think about him and the intensity of our relationship but I know that if we had married I would always have worried if he was cheating. Still, cutting him out of my life was one of the hardest things I ever did. We were so comfortable together and we liked doing all of the same things. I thought he was my soulmate.

I am not even sure what I am saying and now I have written a book. You are still young. You can either choose to take what he will give, or cut him out of your life and take the chance that someone will want all you have to offer. It sounds like you have a great deal to offer.

I hope that you will not give in and drink and that you will take care of yourself. I know how much this hurts but you deserve to be happy and I hope you will find the way.

[Guest]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

O.M.G!!!..................have heard of commitmentphobes, like men or women in their 20`s, 30`s, or 40`s...........but a 71 yr. old commitmentphobe really takes the biscuit.

I really feel for you FMF..........you evidently love him very dearly, yet he doesn`t reciprocate half of all that you give to him.

I know what I`m talking about, having once been exactly where you are...........I called myself his "as, when and if girl", and BOY!!!!, does it hurt.........over and over again you hurt, as you hang on his every word, hoping to win him over.

I left my commitmentphobe, albeit with my heart in shreds,not least because I knew it was never getting to the next stage...........it just wasn`t going anywhere.

I can`t hazard a guess as to why your man is reluctant to commit. I now believe that mine couldn`t commit as he was an alcoholic, who couldn`t handle responsibility, as responsibility can often be very expensive..........my ex. couldn`t commit as he "needed" all of his money (and MINE!!!!!!!) for drink. Add to that the fact that my ex. encouraged me to drink again after 10 yrs. of abstinence and you`ll understand why I`m quite happy to be manless.

The man who truly loves you doesn`t need any prompting..........he should be honoured to have on his arm. If he is happy to share your bed, he should be happy to share your life in every respect.

TIME WAITS FOR NO WOMAN!!!...........I swear I`ll never be a sucker for a man ever again.......I`d happily die an old maid first.

Hope things turn out better for you.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

P.S.........Am not a bitch, Boys...........just a very smart woman who has learned the art of survival !!! LOL

[Chief]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

FMF, WOW! You sound like avery loving,caring,giving women that I know a lot of men would love to have in their lives. I'm 51 so we are the same age. I'm not younger than you and don't understand. I do understand. My advice to you is short and sweet: Drop this guy like a hot potatoe, like a bad habit, like a burning skillet. He is not worthy of you,period. Get a fresh one... Don

[Arial]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

'Feet', I'm so sorry you're hurting and wish there was an easy and quick route to feeling happy again - a magic wand would do the trick but unfortunately they're in short supply in this part of the world

My friend had a very similar relationship to yours which she finally ended 2 years ago after 5 years of non-commitment - she's now 56 and the decision was not an easy one as she, neither, wants to be on her own. But nor was she prepared to be in a relationship which was causing so much stress, upset, anxiety and seemingly with no future where she could foresee the growing old together happening - he was more like a permanent visitor, bags packed ready to leave, despite an incredibly intense relationship, an amazing 'connection' between them... I won't say she's found it easy, but I will say she is comfortable with who she is and where she's at. She has a life of her own, has just bought her own house and is back in control and ready for a more equal relationship.

You say that you know the pain will ease over time which is so true - but it doesn't make the immediate pain any less. I think, as with drinking, you need to take it a day at a time - don't look at 'forever' - look at the here and now - what can you do today to help get through it a step at a time - visits out with girl friends - bury yourself in work - family??? Why to start over do you need to move? It seems that you're in your own house - does that need to change? Are there any new things you could try - hobbies, activities, sports. I found a good way of meeting people was to join clubs - no threat about being 'single' and looking for a man - just a way to meet new faces and put yourself into new situations that don't have memories attached to them. When my husband left me, after the period of mourning, I decided that the only part of the whole situation I had any control over was how I handled it. I found by looking at it like that I was able to salvage a small sense of control. Gradually over time that feeling increased until I found I didn't need him.

You are young but I know exactly what you mean about the availability of elligible men, but have confidence in yourself - if you are confident in who you are then you will be in a much better position to find a healthy relationship where commitment just won't be an issue!

I truly hope you start to feel better soon, and I know it's hard but drinking really doesn't solve anything - as Hannah says, if I wasn't sober I couldn't cope, and although alcohol deadens the immediate pain for a short while - it all feels worse later.... So hang in there, keep posting and talking and your friends are here for you.

Many hugs :l :l :l

[Arial]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Lotus - hang in there! - sometimes it seems like one step forward and two back but it's all part of the process - you learn as you go along and come out stronger the next time. If you keep your eye on where you want to get to, then gradually you'll get there - sometimes we lose sight of it - like if you're on a ship and a large wave looms you lose sight of the horizon - but it's there.

Lloyd Jones (forgive my ignorance, but who was he??) very wisely said:

"The person who tries to do something and fails is infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed."

We have all been so successful at doing nothing about our problems for so long and what did we achieve?? You have now faced this challenge and you're on your way - just keep coming back and next time you'll be that little better armed and prepared. We're here with you so keep talking and sharing - take a rest, take a deep breath - and forward!! :h

Warmest wishes

[Arial]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Sorry! - Me again! - just to say Hi to everyone, old and new (to the thread, that is, - I wouldn't dream of mentioning ages!) - I've got to go now but just wanted to check in, say how much I enjoyed reading all the posts and MANY CONGRATULATIONS to all for their ever growing number of gold stars and WELCOME to everyone who'se just joined - definitely the more the merrier!

Talk soon - off for beauty rest now as have to get up for work in 6 hours!

Love,

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi all: Very long and busy day at work today. Looks like it was a busy and eventful day on the board today.

Welcome aboard MeditationMama

Lotus, none of here is anywhere near perfect. However, there are a lot of tools at our disposal that can help us in the process of becoming AF. We can choose to use none, any or all of them, but we do choose. Try not to be too hard on yourself, rethink your strategy and start again. Satori had some great advise.

FMF-I'm sorry to hear about your turmoil. You are such a gift to us here that I hate to see your heart being broken so. I do see that you are getting some well thought out advise from our members though. I would only add that it may be that you may need some time to be by yourself so you can discover what a great woman you are.

Chief-Sorry I called you quiet and polite what was I thinking?

Ariel-Great advise, glad to hear you sounding so upbeat and strong.

Doggy, Starlight, Piggie, July and everybody else howdy. Talk to y'all soon

[Guest]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Ooooops, I rather went off at a tangent in my last post........forgot I was here to be a BOOZE BUSTER.........reverted to being a MAN BUSTER!!! lol (sorry to Satori and any other chaps here)

20 mins. into Wednesday morning here in Scotland says I am on Day 17..........feels fab.

Congrats to all for grand successes..........and keep on climbing the mountain!!!

Love to all.

Starlight Impress x

[july232007]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

FMF,

Listen to the value in your own words:

"The thing is, by 50, all the decent, comitting, non drunk, non-issued (I can talk!!) men are out there IN marriages/real partnerships... THat's why they're not 'available' (and I am glad for them and their ladies honestly - I am not jealous of them - just want one of my own!"

Of course you want a decent, committed, sober partner. But the reality is you are not available to this man if you met him today. You are taken but not fulfilled. What will it take to make you available? 50 is not the issue, but respectfully I say 71 is. If he is not fully available to you after these past many years when will he be? Don't let him spend your 50's on his indecisive 70's. Do be jealous. Be jealous of your own valuable life.

Take care,
July

Af day 19