MM - hello and really well done! I was right with you in a way - felt like day 1 but knowing I'd done that one that really helped me. Like, I was sooh anxious but not cos of booze this time - actually, thank you for mentioning the word 'anxiety'; maybe it was the (pretty natural let's face it!!) anxiety that I interpreted as wanting a drink...?!?! Coz it was like day 1...? Hmmm, coz I walked thru the booze aisle (only way thru that supermarket) and looking at the bottles realised it did nothing for me at all!! (I had a banana!!!) My brain's befuddled enough after last night without that "brain-zap, oh-no, can't undo it now, why'd I do that?!?!" which was the old story! (she says firmly!) It's the fear of drinking that both helps and freaks me out I think! So, maybe I wasn't on the brink of disaster after all - that feels good!!!
So, MM, see, day 1 and you've already really helped someone - me!!!! Great!
Mary - what a star...and to think my negative, soupy moanings got your fingers to the keyboard... ooh-er!! But it meant so much - to help me go on seeing facts and not 'David-ol-ism-ing' him into being good for me!!! (He did have lots of good, guys - don't want to be a comp-lete b*t*h!!!) It was really good to hear - for you as well! - that in two years you were so happy (yes, all - I will be a happy singleton first...!) Am I too old though...? I don't feel old but 50 seems rather beyond it! Am I really going to be 50?!??! That was positively ancient to me when I was the age I still feel I am!! (16!)(Crazy me; giving away half my life away saying it's old - I don't think anyone else over 50 is old so?!?!..)
It's a lovely word 'cherish' isn't it...I must learn to cherish myself - started already by being here! - and then..'therefore as night follows day' and all that quote stuff...! (well, God willing but I hope He's listening! - I just enjoy company in life as well as quiet solo time...I've done that being an only child.) I'm so glad for you that you are cherished.
Hannah - thanks, yes, doesn't matter how 'old' I get, change still leads to growing pains = pain! And me?!?!?!...take time?!?!? Hey ho, back to my favourite saying: "Take the Time it Takes" which can be put to anything on this planet... if I let it! Thanks for the reminder. I hope you've had a good day off and got somewhere near doing the 1,000 things done you planned!
I wish we could get melatonin in the UK... sounds wonderful!... or can we?? Anyone know?
See you all later and thanks again. Feeling much better now, my kids are home in half-an-hour and I got supper for us all. Different from this morning. Just know that if I got through the feeling that I would 'white out' at any moment and come to 100th of a second later and find a glass of half consumed alcohol in my hand without it actually happening, anyone out there can too!
You guys are special - what a place this is!
Back up on my Feet xx
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