BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Thank you SO much....

:thanks:
I can't thank you all enough... Firstly, I didn't have a drink so.... I do want to be sober for me and, on top of everything, wasn't about to lose my 79 days as well as my 50's to this guy! I just didn't know what to do with my feelings....but I just let them hurt and boy do they hurt.... but this too will pass...one thing one has learned from being 50 eh?!

He was going to leave me behind but we were going to friends of his for supper (an amazing thing in itself as we don't acutally go/do anything like that more than once a year....(?!) But he took me/I went even though his pal 'is alcoholic' but his family aren't... I was fine, no worries and the was pal ok too. (I'm not even sure about his 'alcohlism'...) My...man?...D doesn't drink, never has really so that's not in issue...

But we've got back and 'talked' and now he's gone asking me to take full resonsibility for the end if this...I wont; I take my part (as in this is how I've decided to be) but if he can't see any of my point of views, (which doesn't mean he has to do/be exactly what I want) well, so be it...I can't force him (and wouldn't want to have to; what worth in that!); I know it's not very constructive to be so whateverly wary about commitment...and I'm afraid it does matter to me...I do have a need to have a rough idea where my future might be... He can't see that just hanging on whilst he 'gets his life together' (like for the last 40 years and that's according to old friends of his - I've known him 8) and then he might if things are....well, we've been there in the posts...!

He's "got lots to sort out and many problems" - just like me...broke, renting not owning a house, age (that wont improve for any of us!!!), "so much to clear out and sell and mend and restore and build and plant and...." Says it all doesn't it guys?! He "really wants to get his old Rover (car - 1948) restored and on the road..." (He's only had it 35 years and never driven it!!!! It's been under a tarpaulin in nearly 10 different locations in England during that time.....He's "done bits but somethings always come up...")

Um, that last paragraph, especially the end, says it all doesn't it? If the car's had to wait 35 years and is still under wraps...and nothing's actually happening to it even now (he's doing his boat...!) - it's only a 'plan' but at least the car gets mentioned...I don't!!!) ........... I've been a little bit blind and.....

So, July, your words are just so great...."Don't let him spend my 50's on his indecisive
70's".... I wont...I can't. Maybe it's one of those 'my being sober' has rather backfired on him (and, sort of me temporarily) and I can see things more clearly (I would have been out of my mind on bottles of the stuff 6 months ago!) I was only drinking for 2 of the 5.5 years (sort of wonder why?! but I still chose to I know....!) but it didn't help either way; he is a commitment phobe....

So, onwards and upwards and thanks Arial for reminding me of a day at a time in this too....
The moving thing is because I came to Cornwall with the guy before D....(?!) who pretty soon buggered off as he couldn't bear me to talk to anyone at all (jealously is a terrible thing for folk to (really) suffer from....they feel soooh bad) and "knew he'd lose me eventually"... (no, he wouldn't have done.) But my kids were stuck into schools down here by then but leave next June to go to University 'up-country'. My mum and dad are in their 80's up there near London and my eldest daughter getting married there is planning children and, if blessed, I would love to be near them.... I don't own my house, don't have a job (my business went under 2 years ago - my choice to drink on it but that was the start....) and can't even join a choir here (I sing) as there is only one and I've been on the waiting list for 2 years with no sign of a place coming up.... We are miles from anywhere down here!!!! I do do lots of things but all that means, I think you can see, that I have reached a turning point in deciding where to spend my 50's...... You might think D has a point in that we could be a rocky couple in this situation (certainly a good excuse for him...!) but he has always flatly refused to consider that we could work this together... we are both paying rent for houses in the same town when one would be much cheaper for instance. And that's without considering the power of mutual support and energy that comes from togetherness...well, to me anyway: perhaps a real drain for him of course.....!He prefers to give (very generously I easily admit) from a distance!

Well, I'll sign off now (you'll be glad to hear - a gabby old sod even in print!!!!!!) and re-join this great thread tomorrow - it is 3 am now and I think sleep is the best remedy just now.

I send everyone huge thanks - being out this evening and just knowing I would come home to posts (you're so great...I just knew you would come up trumps!!) and that I wasn't alone in the deepest darkest tip of England (we were right down on the end!!!) was soooh wonderful. I got through it with all your help.

I will catch up on specific news tomorrow but really hope everyone is doing well - that the huge worries and difficulties facing some of you are as ok as can be..... I am thinking of you anyway.

It's still 79...might even be 80 at 3am - too tired to count!!! Thanks!!!:H Someone (Satori and ??...) is coming up 30 really soon aren't they??.... Keep going guys!!! And welcome to any newbies here and anywhere else....

Lots of love
Feet x

[Hannah]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hello Fellow Boozebusters!

Wow, this site is like dirty laundry - multiplies when you're not looking! Are we awesome or what?

Lotus, :l to you. So you failed yesterday, today is a new day. My adivce to you is to read, and reread and read again Satori's post. (Who knew he was so wise?). Then - try again! I don't know if you have the book, CD's and supplements? Make a plan, as Satori said, and if you can't find enough to do at home, get out of the house - go to a clothing store and try on your dream outfit, window shop, buy the most perfect fresh ingredients and cook a really special meal for yourself - Whatever! And when you just feel you can't handle it, find a new activity - this is where the list comes in. We had established a rule on the original thread that if anyone really felt they had to have a drink, they had to read the entire thread right from the beginning first - that is guaranteed to keep you busy for a very long time. And keep on posting, usually there is someone around to talk to. Please, pleaes, just don't give up. The first few days are the hardest, I promise.

Chief - So glad you made it through to day 4. I know you had a few bad moments - but you did it, you kicked the boozebeast right in his hairy little butt!:alf: Good on you!

Atpeace - Please look after yourself. You say your marriage is improving, but if that in relative terms means that you are still suffering, find the strength to leave. It seems so often that people who have issues with alcohol have an underlying problem that drags them down, and without that they might have more success dealing with the booze thing.
Don;t let yourself be a victim. :h

FMF - Who does this guy think he is? Has it always been him who has blown the whistle, or have you had a turn at it? Sounds to me like he is the one pulling all the strings. I thinks you summed it up for yourself (I don't know how to do quotes yet, so I'll have to retype)

"I've got a life for me & if he doesn't want part of it - like I am just not THAT special to him - well at least I'll have a direction".

I think you should take it one step further, and make a life for you, and don't LET him be part of it. Like July said, you are also cutting yourself off from establishing a decent relationship with someone else by not being available. But fiirst work at establishing a ilife for yourself, and a decent realtionship will follow. Spend a little time just getting to know you again. Otherwise you will seem to be too needy, and desperate. Back me up guys (there are 3 of you here now) this scares the crap out of men. You don't need a man to complete you - repeat after me - "I don't need a man to complete me" - become complete without a man, then allow a relationship to happen. You deserve it.:heart:

Satori - I saw you lurking around the test board last night, know you were up to something. Pretty impressive abs (ahem - "you?" ) have there. However, consider this a strict tallking to - a man needs to have a little meat on him - an apple, a bannanna and a cereal bar????? I'm sure SWMDO already chewed you out over that one! Congrats on your new ab tho. Mine are still about too, although wearabouts of T's and A are still unknown. Just give me the next holiday meal and I am sure they will reappear. Was in serious pain last night, actually - there is one torture machine at Curves that works your lower side abs (don't know techo name) that you are supposed to spend 30 seconds on, and then rotate to next machine X 2. I typically sneak in a little more than that - liike maybe X 4. Yesterday I did 60 seconds straight (i.e., didn't rotate) X 4. My abs last night seriously were burning all night - thought I'd actually torn something. But today am ok, so will torture myself again as per schedule tomorrow!

OK - Intermission - Go and get yourself a snack! (Sorry).
DG and I have a tendency to be long winded, sure nobody has noticed.

Welcome, Meditation Momma. This is a good place to be.

Doggygirl - WHERE do you find these sites? Are you hoping to improve the male/female ratio in this thread? We are roughly 14 females to 3 males, even better than your guess of 2 to 1, Chief. I'm sure you fellows aren't complaining, but we had plans for a much bigger male cheerleading squad. Although we have pretty exacting specifications July, Chief, and I will expect an outstanding show on my soon to come 30 day AF party!:
AF - Good idea about the male dunk tank!

Satori, I promise I will try to have a little something special for your soon to be 30th (if I can only figure out how to do it). Wow, 27 days!!!!!!!

I have one quick question - some of you are taking malatonium to help you sleep? Can you just buy that in a drugstore? I seem to sleep maybe every second night, would like to improve on that. Does it work?

Hi to Rob, Arial, Starlight, Lilaclover, Pinkie, and anyone else I missed. Congrats to all who earned another Gold star, and for those who didn't - tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, right? Have a good AF day tomorrow!

26 days AF **************************

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi guys - just a real quick hello to all - probably won't have much time to be on here today - a very busy day ahead.
I will catch up in detail with you all later tho - you don't get off THAT lightly!!!.

Hannah - Are you implying that that the photo I posted wasn't me???? How could you!!!

As for being wise - hey - I do wise - I just don't do mornings! (The stuff I posted to Lotus is just the standard Buddhist method for dealing with "cravings" - of all sorts!)

As for the food thing - dont worry - I often get so involved in ....whatever.... that I forget to eat - I DO make up for it when I remember tho' - I DO have some meat on me - That is why I cant find all my other abs - YET - should have them back for your celebration!

I think your lower side abs thingies are called "obliques".

Better go

Today is day 28! It is gonna be a busy one!

See ya later

Satori
xxx

[Chief]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Day 5 for me and I'm feeling great! Day 3 about killed me but I made it and Day 4 wasn't bad at all. I've been running everyday and posting like crazy and I feel like a new man! Thank You Everyone!
Hanna, I've been sleeping uneasy also and yesterday I bought Melatonin at a GNC store. Took it for the first time last night and slept for only 6 hours but it was a good, restful sleep. Have a good day! Don

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Good morning Booze Busters!! (well - it's almost morning here at just after 5AM!)

For our friends who are hurting - a big (((hug))) - but not endless mush. Lotus, I hope you will read and read again Satori's post of advice - I think it's excellent. At least for me, having a solid plan for the day is essential to success at quitting the booze. What will I be doing with the time I normally drank? What are the reasons I WANT to be quit - that are BIGGER than the reasons I might want to drink? When I crave a drink, how do I remind myself of my priorities? etc. etc. - Satori's post is great. I also like what Chief said - "you are either driving or riding." Quitting drinking is not easy - otherwise none of us would need MWO or any other program. It's war - and we all need a good battle plan. I hope you re-grop and re-join the Booze Bustin' Mission.

Feet, I'm 49 and spent way to many years of my own life keeping a place holder around for a man to be inserted into my life. That was not a good way to live, and I never found a good man while I was living that way. I know you are hurting right now. But after 8 years you already know that you are probably not going to change your man. He might be the most wonderful man on earth in his own way, but if he is not willing or able to offer you the type of relationship that you desire, you will only set yourself up for more disappointment if you don't change anything. I really urge you to think through what YOU want in life, and start setting your goals for yourself. If you rely on someone else to provide too big a source of your happiness, you are taking a huge risk with your happiness letting someone else have that much control and influence in your life. I didn't meet Mr. Doggy until I started living for ME. Here is a quote I like...."Every minute you spend with the wrong person is a minute you are not available to meet the right person." To me that says - don't waste your time hoping something will change that's not gonna. Drinking would only hurt YOU but you already know that. London sounds wonderful - lots to do and especially if you daughter is there too. Whatever you decide to do, make a good plan that is exciting for YOUR future. You CAN do this. The other option of course is to accept him EXACTLY as he is and not expect anything more...ever. IMO that would only work if you focused more on building your own life/career/interests as well. Best wishes to you as you sort this out. "Nothing in life is so bad that drinking won't make it worse."

Hi to everyone else who posted more yesterday!! Congratulations on more gold stars!!!! I was busy running around and now I'm losing track...

Hannah, congratulations on Day 27! I've been taking a mealtonin at night and that, plus some combination of time has me sleeping way better than I was early on. You can get melatonin at the drug store - no prescription or anything. I take one at bed time, and if I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I might not fall back asleep, I'll take another. I haven't had to take 2 very many times in the last 10 or so days - there is hope!!

July, welcome to day 20!

Starlight - happy day 17!

rob - AACCKK!! Now I lost track of what day you are on!! But welcome to another AF one.

Hi Arial!! When is the next Salsa lesson? We want to hear about your next encounter with dance partner prospects.

AF - I shall find more pictures of hot guys for us females to enjoy. Don't you think it was nice of Satori to post the picture of him and....I guess that must be July right behind Satori, and part of Chief behind him. HEY SATORI!!! How about a bigger version of that picture for those of us with old, tired eyeballs, and maybe don't crop Chief out this time!!!

Satori - welcome to Day 28 OH MY we better get busy with party plannin'.

Chief, is this day 4 or 5 for you? 5 I think. WAY TO GO IN THE WAR!!!

WELCOME meditation mama. Congrats on your own business! I know what you mean about "missing" things while drinking (i.e. your family) even though they are right under your nose. I basically stopped living much at all. WE CAN DO THIS!!

Pinkie!! Welcome to Day 35!! Pretty soon the Double Digit Quit Sistas will be in double digits on 30 day challenge #2.

I'm sorry if I missed anyone who posted since I last did. SHOUT OUT YOUR STAR STATS LOUD AND PROUD!! No matter what bumps in the road life has in store for us, we CAN handle it without booze. Just think - people who have never ever drank in their life handle ALL of the same stuff we face from time to time - and handle things without booze. Booze is not necessary for us to handle life's problems. TAKE THAT BOOZE BEAST!

Have a great AF day everyone.

DG
Day 30+6 AF * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * + * * * * * *

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi Chief! Yep I thought it was Day 5! Good job. WAIT A DANG MINUTE!!! You got SIX HOURS of sleep on night 4?????? WHAA!!! NOT FAIR!! NOT FAIR!!! :soapbox: (as you can probably guess i had sleeping challenges for awhile....) All kidding aside, you're doing a great job with a terrific attitude.

DG

PS - make sure to press your ultra tight pants and that little collar and bow tie thingy so you are all ready for cheerleading at Hannah's upcoming party OK?

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Thanks so much DG - Just about hanging in here today. God, it hurts soooh much! It doesn't get any easier even being 50.
Yes, I can live singly - often have and didn't 'manhunt' during it honest!
I'm just soooh tired; I so wish everything would just stay still and be just a little settled for a month or so at a time so I might find which way is up....!
Have a good day everyone - your posts helped/help me sooo much. My kids are back today and my aunt comes tomorrow for 5 days...I don't know how to cope but I will.
Love all round. Back later(!)
Feet x (lost them again for a bit...)>>)

[Lotus]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi ya all

I am back on board with 1 AF day under my belt. Feel GR8.

Hannah - I did print out what Satori wrote and have it im my bag now. I read it and re-read it. And it will be what I will read again when I feel the cravings. I have got MWO so will start reading that again too. I haven't got any supps, but I am trying to do it without and see how I get on.

Chief - You were spot on. I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and take control. I am in the driving seat now. Congrat to you.

Arial - I loved that quote - esp as I realised that I was not trying hard enough. It was easier to drink and convince myself that I am entitled to it after a day at work. But waking up this morning and feeling so clearheaded I know I was not treating myself I was making myself more and more depressed. I will treat myself at the end of the week with a new hairdo instead. Money well spent!

Rob - Thanks for your words. I just couldn't understand how my resolve weakens the minute I leave work. Maybe I need a new route/exit.

Satori - well what can I say - your words hit home and are now are always with me. Thanks you very much. A big cyber kiss is on it's way to you from me. MWAH

Thanks to you all - and those who I have missed. I am looking forwards to reading all your posts and hopefully together we can all be successful in our journey.

Love to you all.

Mandy x

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Welcome back Lotus - Glad you had and enjoyed a clear head this morning, plenty more where those came from!

Thanks Satori - I've printed it off too, as it helps in everything - well, I think it will!

Feet x

[Doggygirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi Feet and Mandy!! I am VERY happy to have you back Mandy on Day 1 AF. A new hairdo at the end of the week sounds fabulous!!! I treated myself last week to a color (NOOOO!! not MEEE!! and a cut. It felt really good after having my head in the booze bottle and neglecting myself quite a bit for a long time. YOU GO GIRL!!

Feet, I'm happy to hear you sounding a little better too. I know you are hurting. I hope you can make some room each day for doing some positive things for YOU.

Speaking of positive things for ourselves....

I love books and love to read. I started a few days ago - and will finish today going through one of the several book cases in our house. Some books I wanted to read are long fogotten in there! When I'm done I will have a bunch of books lined up that are "first up" for late summer/fall reading. The books I'm concentrating on first are 'just for fun' mystery "whodunnit" type things. Between quitting smoking, quitting drinking, and tackling my weight, I've had enough non-fiction for awhile LOL!! Right now I'm reading Angels & Demons by Dan Brown. Anyone else read that one? OOOOOOOOOOO the intrigue of the Vatican!

Have a great AF day one and all!!

DG
Day 35 AF LOUD AND PROUD!!

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Sorry - posted in ASAP as well by mistake.

Guys I am sooh scared... I feel worse then I can remember. Lisa (?but thank you whoever) said somewhere to think about whether I want to be back to day 1 tomorrow or day 81? Day 81 ..but what for? He's gone and there's only me down here in this Godforsaken county and none to talk to...I can't drive (my fault) till next July and he was my wheels as well - not that that was why I was with him but it's just another reminder of what's happened...now my son wont get to sailing (Daivid's boat even) or cricket or... I've wrecked it for him.
Tomorrow David goes away and wont even be round the corner... I want to go home to my friends and family. I want to tell 'him' I've split up with 'him' and I'm scared; he's been my rock for so long and all the 81 days ...I don't want a drink (lie?) I just want to feel the joy and positivty I felt only 36 short hours ago.... I'm so tense I haven't the energy to do anything to take my mind off it, I can't go out my eyes are so puffy and I think I'd be sick if I ate anything... Why am I such a blob about this - I'm not 15 for God's sake... Is it because I haven't been here stone cold sober ever? In that even 20 years ago I could have a drink in the evening?...
I was sooh strong and confident 24 hours ago...what the hell happened? Why did I suddenly see that it wasn't going to work out? Where'd that come from at such a time of joy? Why do I fu**k everything up? I had exactly the feelings I wanted and threw them away....? Too greedy. Every time my son gets to be close to a man in my life (and I don't just get any old one and rush them in..) they go and he must wonder what the f*** is going on. He's 14 and been hurt by 3 of them in 10 years...

I am thinking of you all - I really hope I'm not depressing you... My kids are back later - wont be alone.
Thanks. Anyone else really struggling, let's stick together and not cave in? Praises to everyone adding days to their numbers.

Lost My Feet x,

Sorry, it's just that MWO out is all I've got just now. Just self-pity eh? And David-o-lism... I'll be back more cheerfully soon - I 'always' am but this time feels different....?
__________________

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

God, that reminds me of my cousin who emails me with dark and negative thoughts all the time. It is soooh self-pitying - I am so sorry.

I WILL go out - sunglasses on - and wake up to the fact that life goes on and I am alive and not really got anything to worry about.

Thanks guys. Hit delete!

Feet x

[meditation mama]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hey Y'All!

Made it through Day One! I was unbelivably anxious, but I did manage to take my melatonin and hit the sak at 10 - and I slept for 8 full hours! No head commitee in the middle of the night, and even had a chance to meditate already this morning. A bit of monkey mind, but I gave my self a break on that one. Haven't had a clear head for a while, so I just enjoyed the show..

I absolutely love reading your posts here and will take these inspirations with me through day 2. It feels like I have been climbing up a hill by myself trying to quit on my own. With the support here I feel like there is a chain of hands helping me up the hill when I just feel like I can't make it. I am really glad you are all here and I hope to be a strong hand for you all as well.

Namaste,

MM

[madisonmay]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Hi
I am a member from sometime ago, and have come back recently to get help from the MWO site because I let my guard down, just been lurking for awhile, but could not resist answering Feets post.

Feet I was in a similar situation sometime ago, was with a guy in a relationship for 10 years, finally decided I would wait no longer. This relationship was also the reason I started drinking to numb the pain, and it got worse and worse. One minute he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, the next he didn't know what he wanted, he really messed with my self esteem because of this, and I drank more and more. I realise now that he just like having control over my life. Eventually I got out of that relationship, and it did hurt very much for a long time, I didn't think at times I would survive, even worse I had to work with the guy. Eventually the hurting got easier, and I started looking out at the world, and doing things for me. About 2 years after this relationship ended I met the man who is now my husband, he is the most wonderful person in the world, a hundred times better man than the other guy, and he cherishes me with all his heart. And would you believe I met him on a Dale Carnegie course!(public speaking) wasn't even looking for a man at the time! I still have a drink problem, it has been hard to get out of the habit, but he supports me in everything I do, he never nags or judges, he's just there for me. I don't know why I drink because I am in such a happy relationship now, but I think once "booze beast" takes hold of you, it's doesn't like to let you go. I still see the other guy around from time to time, but I now look at him with indifference, he is not important anymore, and I don't think he likes the fact that there is life after him. Someone said in their post if you waste your time on Mr.Wrong how will you meet Mr.Right, and they are right. Stop wasting your time on this guy, if he hasn't sorted out his life at 71, he's not going to sort it out at all. Take control of your life for you, you're worth it.

The timing of your post was amazing, as just this afternoon I was thinking about how all this drink problem started with that relationship, and now I have decided I shouldn't let that relationship affect me anymore(i.e. in drinking), I want to go abs, and will be starting day 1 tomorrow, there, I have made the commitment. Sorry for the ramble.

Mary

[Hannah]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE - Week of 8/13!!

Morning All!

Just a quick morning post as I drink my coffee - Wednessday, my day off. Love working only 4 days a week, keeps me sane. Just wanted to log on and say hi to Lotus - I'm so proud of you!!!!!!!! :goodjob: I knew you could do it, glad you're back.

Welcome to Madisonmay - Glad to have you on board!
Meditation Moma - So glad you made it thru day one - that is a big step, and it's onwards and upwards from there!

FMF - You are just going through the growing pains, things will sort themselves out, just give it time. Meanwhile, we are all too happy to be your soundboard, outlet, support, & whatever you need us to be.:l

Will post later, have a thousand things to do today - and buying some malatonion if I can find some, for sure. Have a good day, all you wonderful people!:hiya: