Wed 15th

[Determinator]

Middle of the week ABsters! hows the crew today?

day 56 and feeling slick.

wow, I see TX is bracing for more crappy weather...good grief.

had a super hard exercise last night and rode on a wonderful buzz from that for hours...what a great thing. Exercise is so important to my sense of well being and as a sobriety mechanism.

begening the job search after 9 years at the same job. arg! don't exactly remember how to write a resume any more...oh well. change is good and inevitable. I'd be flipping out and getting wasted this time last year under the same circumstances.

Be well everyone!

[Cinders]

Wed 15th

D,

Good luck on the job search. Sometimes I think things happen to force us to find a better place.

Maybe getting sober and getting a new career are meant to go hand-in-hand for you? A chance for a complete renewal/rebirth of Determinator?

Onward and upwards to better things.

Hello to all other absters out there. Even though I don't really belong here yet, just wanted to jump in, say "hi" and wish D the best.

Cindi

[YoungAtHeart]

Wed 15th

Hi Deter and all to come!

Day 65 for me and I'm simply glad. Not a rhyme, but true.

I'm happy to be back at my own computer, but I'm aggravated at my ex again. (OHHHH-NOOOO!) In response to a phone message I left him asking him to follow up on the prior week's stuff, I returned home to a really manipulative nasty-gram of an e-mail, although I did get an answer to my question finally. It turns out that my calling his father and having a good chat is difficult for his current wife, who is isolated and depressed and doesn't get along with him all that well. (I might not either if I LIVED with him.) All this drama about something that could have been explained so easily....

Unfortunately, the simple fact was couched in a letter full of hypochondria, self-pity, aggression, accusation, and a suicidal threat. I got in late, then it was hard to settle down until about 2 am, way past my bedtime. His final line was that this e-mail was "private between the two of us" and "not to be copied or forwarded" to anyone. Huh? I mean I'm telling you all, but this is anonymous. Who else would I tell? It makes me feel furious, frustrated, helpless, and sad all at the same time. Back in the old damned if I do and damned if I don't situation with him that I felt for so many years.

At any rate, I may decide to withdraw from the situation. He is too crazy and stressed for me to deal with, and clearly, I stress him out, even though it is not my intention. I'm going to take the exchange of letters to my therapist to see what she thinks of the whole thing. She might have a whole different take on it than I do. It is very crazy-making to me, though.

Maybe one good thing about the situation is that this is the kind of behavior that was occurring toward the end of our marriage when my drinking was escalating. I feel the urge to drink now, and I can see the clear connection. Back then if I had made the connection and gotten rid of the man, I might have saved myself a lot of agony from drinking. But I wasn't strong enough on either count. Now I can. I have control over the contact I have with him. I can choose to say no to drinking. I can make better choices.

When I think about it, maybe it isn't an accident that this is coming up now.....

I know I'm ranting AND rambling....sorry.

I feel like I'm dumping this on all of you. I know that I sure felt dumped on last night. I can still feel the knot rising in the pit of my stomach as I write.

It will be good to get to work today and get engrossed and leave this behind.

Anyway, I know I'm being self-absorbed today. Forgive me. Anyone know a hit man? Oh, I know, we can set Lushy to work on him! She'll know just what to do!:H

Hugs,:l
Kathy

Have a good day everyone. Thanks for listening. I want to cry with sadness and vexation.

[Cinders]

Wed 15th

Kathy,

It is amazing and inspiring for a "newbie" like me to read the posts of you "old timers" who are dealing with your issues without alcohol so well.

So, your "self-absorbed" rambling post is a great help to me. It shows not only can I achieve sobriety, I can do so and still cope with life's cr*p.

I am sorry he is such a thorn in your side, though.

Hope your day goes better from now on.

Cindi

[imatree]

Wed 15th

Good morning abbers,
Good luck Determinator, on the job search. Now that takes guts, if you ask me!
Hang in there Kathy. It's good that you get a glimpse into what used to be triggers for you - so you can avert them now.

Day 4. He's still in the house. I told him last week he is to be out by the 20th. But he's not packing yet. Don't know. I'm almost always on the verge of rage or tears and am terrified that if I give in to either I'll disappear.

But happy to be sober!!!!!!!!!

[diamond]

Wed 15th

Ima don't give up, he will go, he has to...

Det good for you keeping the thread going..

Db and kathy, good for you two too

Everyone keep up the good work..

Diamond x

[Doggygirl]

Wed 15th

Waving to Diamond and Cindi!

Deter, congrats on Day 56 and best wishes on your job search. What's for dinner? It's clean out the fridge chicken suprise around here tonight.

Kathy, geez dealing with your X sound TRYING to put it mildly. I can sure understand why you are frustrated and wanting to minimize communication. But here you are dealing with it and you're 65 days AF!! Congratulations - that is very inspiring. (although i'm sure you would rather inspire us with your AF days WITHOUT the X crapola....)

Congrats on Day 4 AF imatree! I seem to recall posts about your BF...I haven't read much in the general discussion area for awhile. If your situation is what I think I'm remembering....just be safe OK? On the other hand if that sound nutty, then I'm mixing some things up.

It's Day 36AF here!! Today's "drama" comes from one of our customers. The head person there is Sister Jones (Jones is not her real name, but the "Sister" part is real). I didn't think Sisters were supposed to be so mean. This one will live forever she's that mean. Oh well - this too shall pass. Mr. Doggy WILL have her computer fixed eventually.

No drinkie poos for me today - no way!! It's another AF kinda day in Doggy land. Hope everyone is having a great day.

DG
Day 36 AF * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[Accountable for Me]

Wed 15th

Kathy good for you for not drinking after the maddening experience you have been through. Stay strong!!! And you aren't dumping by any means. We ALL do our share of letting out our emotions here. This is why this place is special, it bonds us together like the 'family or friends' we never had. Where else can we share so intimately other than at our shrinks offices????

To the rest of you Abbers - good job on your accumulated AF days. Life is better without the beer goggles isn't it?

[Popeye]

Wed 15th

Hi all.
Just popped in to say hello.
Deter, Glad to hear your feeling good. I love the endorphin buzz of a good work out too.
Cindi, you belong....
Kathy, you are doing so well and your posts are always honest and inspirational, and Like Accountable said, you're not dumping on us at all.
Ima, things will work out for you, I'm sure.
Hi Diamond. Good work.
DG 36 days already, and you seem so happy. I'm so pleased for you.
Accountable...as sensible as ever.
Four and a half months AF for me.
Yea!!!

[ScoobyDoo]

Wed 15th

Hi all... it's been a few weeks!

A few weeks ago we went skiing and I got another flu... tis time a really bad one, and have been sleeping inbetween working. I have been so sick! I'm finally starting to get a bit better.

Last weekend, Chris turned 9 and we took him and 5 of his little mates to Luna Park. I only stayed for an hour and had to go home to bed. We also gave him a new bike which he loves.

I'll jump back on board later in the week when I'm feeling back to normal and have a good catch up. I feel like an alien at the moment!

Bernie

[Newyear]

Wed 15th

Just lost a post ....arrrgh..

So just a quick HI to everyone. Bernie - feel better soon!! hope your 'big' guy had a good b'day.

I think once we get past the physical addiction and the habit of drinking we are left with
getting past the triggers.....and stress is a huge one.
So Kathy, you did well to keep the stress at bay - or at least deal with it a little differently.
It was a good reminder for me too - which is why I come here so often! Want to keep remembering what I need to do.
imatree...hope you are sober n single soon. I know this has been a tough time for you and I hope it is over soon.
D-girl....I want to hear more about Sister Jones!!! What the heck happened??

everyone i missed...have a great night - :h to you all

Lisa

[Determinator]

Wed 15th

Luna Park! wow Scoobs you just brought back a flood of childhood memories... and Taranga Zoo...is that still there?

big heyo and congrads to all of you I missed....

[YoungAtHeart]

Wed 15th

Thanks everyone for all of your support. Reading everyone's responses to me was so helpful and really picked up my spirits! Work helped me remind myself about my real, everyday life, the one I'm liking more and more. I'm turning in early, but thank you all.


You are like a life raft when I need you.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

:h :h