Thurs~Aug. 23rd

[Breez]

Morning All-

Just about to go to my 2nd day of work. Still a bit nervous since they still haven't showed me everything I'll be doing. So I'll have to "pretend" to look busy. But that's how the city workers work-at their own pace-LOL. They told me they're going to ease me into things. Only time it gets busy is during clinic time which is 2-3:30 but clients come in all day asking questions & getting rsults from their STD tests. Boy watching them squirm before their tests & right before theior results-you feel bad but as the nurses say "where a condom & you won't be here". Next week will go by faster as it's right before school starts & they're doing double clinics with immunizations.

Well-on my way. Hope everyone has a great AF day because we deserve it!

[Doggygirl]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Hi Breez and all AF'ers yet to come! **waving to all**

Breez, sounds like an interesting place to work. I'd be squirmin' too if I felt the need to be at the clinic for STD testing. (I'd be in big trouble too, or Mr. Doggy would, after almost 10 years married!)

It's Day 44 AF here and feelin' good. It's been a busy week, so haven't been on-line as much as usual. Hope everyone is having a GREAT AF week!!!

If you get a chance stop by Lilac's special thread - she participated in the Booze Busters 30 Day challenge and today is her special day at 30 days!! (and there might be sightings of men in cheerleader costumes..)

DG
:award: + * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

[Newyear]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Good morning-

Hi Breez - good luck on day 2 of the new job.
DG - good to see you - I've been pretty busy too lately

Worked out this morning with my trainer...IT was funny because he showed me a 'new'sit up where you don't bend your knees. I laughed and said..these are the "Old Situps" before they figured out we should bend our knees!! Then I felt old

Got to run. busy busy busy at work. Conf call at 9:40 to explain why we didn't make budget last period. :upset: SHould I go ahead and tell them we won't make it this period either??

Have a great day everyone!!
Lisa

[retteacher]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Hi everyone: Yesterday afternoon, my daughter came over on the spur of the moment w/her little sons. During my drinking days, a spur of moment visit would have interrupted a drinking bout. I would have struggled through the visit hoping that my astute daughter wouldn't notice my impairment.

Instead, we talked, played, walked the dog, prepared & ate dinner together. As I was saying goodbye to them, my heart was so grateful for my sobriety & MWO.

Sometimes, as the days roll on (day 45), I get nervous about a relapse. I know I have to stay vigilant & not take my sobriety for granted. Thank you, Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Good morning all!

Wow, it feels great to check in early and already see some posts on the daily thread! Thanks Breez, for starting things off! It is really fine to see you back here! I'm glad you finally started your new job, and it sounds like you will settle in well as time goes on.

Hi DG, glad you came by to share some of your sunshine. Happy Day 44! It's a good feeling to see those days adding up, isn't it?

Morning, Lisa! Lucky you who gets to be the bearer of bad news at work. Yikes! You must be getting pretty buff with all of your situps and all though. I thought we moved to doing "crunches" because straight legs hurt our backs or something? Has that all changed now? Anyway, I hope you have a great day too!

Mary, I can understand that you worry about a relapse. Any particular reason?? I both expect to be sober now, but I don't take it for granted. I am just one drink away from being back where I was several months ago, when I drank as much as I had time to drink. Your story about your daughter's visit is very touching.

Anyway, things are okay here. The day after tomorrow, I take Maddy off to school. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.....I'm pretty mixed, I guess.

Love to all!:h
Kathy

[southernbelle47]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Morning Glories! Breez, Mary, Lisa, DG and all to come!

Whew! Over the hump day has come and gone....
Not really sure what that means to me because I work at home so its 24/7 here!

I'm getting to the end of all the summer veggie gardening work.
It's been over 100 here for several weeks but should break next week.

I got to talk to my son ...the marine... last night!
He sounded tired. They willl leave for Iraq on Sept. 24th...
I don't want to wish anybody's life away....but.....I can't wait for next April!
I'm kinda "down"...sorry....

I am going to watch my grandson play football tonight. That will help!
Hope you all have a great day.
:h Nancy

[southernbelle47]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

And much love to Kathy.......

[Cinders]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Good morning to all!!

I just wanted to say to Mary's post, I completely understand how you feel about having the grandkids come over and you were sober.

I have spent many hours feeling guilty because I was drunk when the grandkids came to visit. It is so unfair to them because you can't give them the attention they deserve and need.

Yet another reason to reach my goal.

Love to all,
Cindi

[meditation mama]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Good morning ladies!

Sounds like everyone is off to a good start this morning. I had an great day 5 yesterday. I did have an interesting incident at the spa, my fist HIV positive client, and it was a brazillian waxing (i own a day spa). I have been doing this for a really long time, It was shocking because I live in a very affluent (not that that mattters) ski resort area I haven't run into this. Anyway, I was quite nervous because there usually is a bit of blood prickly spoting when you wax. But I wore gloves, and took the appropriate precaiutions. She was SO nice, and nervous becasue she hadn't done it before and was excited to go on a cruise. So, I jsut relaxed and made it my duty to relax her. But it DID make me really nervous and I guess it effected me more than I thought becasue I had dreams about it all last night. I feel so sorry for her. It made me realize how fortunate I am to be "just" an alcoholic. I can quit drinking, but she can't quit aids. It makes me want to cry. Anyway, I had a great night with my DD - we played JACKS.. she almost fell over when she asked me in her usual way "mom.. oh, never mind" (knowing I would say no becasue I would be in my tired/drinking/after-work mode) - And I said "i'd love to" We played for an hour - AND I BEAT HER! HA!

Life is unfolding each day.. thanks for being here.

Namaste,

MM

[madisonmay]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Hi

Seven days, 1 week and 168 hours AF, not that I am counting!! As I said before, I was with MWO sometime ago, did very well, but made the mistake of saying "oh one won't hurt", and here I am back again. It is my own fault, I became complacent, now know you can't be that way with the booze. Had a spate of the cravings last night for about thirty minutes, but took some extra kudzu and l-glut, and made myself busy, and that seemed to help.

My husband and I are spending the weekend with my son, dil, and four year old(going on 24) granddaughter, my son usually makes sure there is wine in the house for me(I don't drink at his home the way I drink at my home, so he doesn't know I have a problem), but I emailed him today to say don't buy any as I will not be drinking, I did make the excuse of being on antibiotics, which saves explaining(my son and dil only have the occaisional drink, about once a week, how come he has a mother like me!).

Waving to everyone here, and those to follow.

Mary :l

[barry]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Who are you calling a lady Med Momma! lol!

As summer begins to wind down I was reflecting that this is the first summer of my adult life that I have spent completely sober. Its unbelievable. The daily struggle seems to be over for now, its like Kathy said: I expect to be sober now, but do not take it for granted. Not taking it for granted to me means doing positive things to perserve and build on what I have achieved and never forget where I came from or the fact that for me that first drink is an express ticket back.

Well, I should probably go fishing and do some other manly summer stuff now!

Best wishes.

[retteacher]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Kathy: I think that as I get farther & farther from my last drink, I'm afraid I'm going to feel that I'm "cured" & will give myself permission to have a drink here or there. I've got to keep in mind that I've tried many configurations of moderation over the years: allowing myself only a certain amount of drinks, drinking only wine, not drinking before a certain hour, etc. etc. These tactics have only served to kick off a drinking binge. Shortly after coming here to MWO, I had the realization that I was an alcoholic drinker. I don't mind calling myself an alcoholic. I must look at alcohol as a poison & learn to live completely wo/it. I feel only gratitude that MWO has given me a way out of the maze I was in. Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Hi Again, Everyone!

Barry, you made my day, today. I actually hadn't thought of myself as having gone through the summer sober, but I did quit on June 12th. If I had thought about "doing the summer", I would have freaked out, imagining all the barbeques, etc. But now the summer is almost done, and here I am, still clean and sober! It's a great feeling.

Hi Nancy, much :heart: to you too. I am thinking about your son. I will be praying for April to get here ASAP, as well. And DON'T apologize about being down. We all understand. My heart just breaks for you sometimes, love.

Hi Cindi, no grandkids here yet, but I'm sorry to say that I spent a lot of time being blitzed when my daughter was growing up. I guess you feel pretty guilty either way. I'm glad you feel good about getting on the AF path.

Your post really makes one think, MM. I'm so glad that you were empathic to the woman that you gave the "Brazilian" to (ouch!!!); no matter how much we "know" about how hard it is to get infected, it is still a little scary. Congrats on being on Day 6--it sounds like you are having a much nicer time with your daughter while sober.

Hey Madisonmay, I'm glad you've come back to MWO, and congrats on your 7 Days. I think that I've always known that I was a trickster, at least with myself. My few attempts at moderation were feeble, at best! I wish you a happy weekend with your son and DIL.

I'm with you, Barry, I think that a drink would be an express ticket back into the drinking pit.

I understand where you're coming from, Mary, about feeling that you're cured. Maybe some people are sometimes. I just know that I can sit here and think of a velvety glass of red wine, and I can darn near smell the bouquet and my mouth starts to water. I can really almost taste it. Ummmm, yum. At this point it doesn't bring on a craving but a sense of wonderment; I can get so darn sentimental and practically can taste a glass of squashed grapes that have been allowed to rot just so.:H No really, the next thought that comes is how I would be if I had a glass. I can so easily see how it would lead me right back into drinking again. So I don't allow myself to dwell on it at this point. It is just a curious phenomenon right now.

Hey if I really KNEW for sure that I could have two glasses once in a while, I'd do mods. Thus far, every attempt at moderation has landed me back in the same place. I have learned to "drink over" 200 mg of topamax, I have embarrassed the crap out of myself by roaring into the liquor store at 11:55 pm just before it closed on a Saturday night because I wanted one more glass of wine (this is moderation , I have driven drunk, I have had drinks in the morning, and I am very lucky that I haven't done worse.

I know that I'll never be cured./strong>

Anyway, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on a rant, I guess that I am just pretty amazed that I have gone as far as I have. I never thought when I started this time that I'd make it this far.

At any rate, Mary, you have your own experiences to sort through. The fact that you're scared is an answer. You've been down this road enough, I think. ;-)

At any rate, I have a break and got to come home for a while. I am watching Maddy run around like a chicken without its head packing for school. I am so aggravated with her sometimes I could scream. We just went yesterday to open a checking account for her, and today she wanted to go get some more stuff for school and wanted my credit card. I told her to go make a withdrawal from her account. She had a complete meltdown, saying that she "doesn't know how" !!!! I told her they had withdrawal slips at the bank, and you just take one and fill it out and give it to a teller. "But WHERE are the tellers?", she howled in dismay. "Behind the glass in the bank," I told her. Where have I gone wrong as a mother??? She is obviously one of those children who thinks that a bank consists of an ATM and a card. Heaven forbid if she has to write a check! We might have to hospitalize her. I am just flabberghasted. We've talked it out now, of course; she's just really anxious about starting school, but boy, she is going from zero to sixty in a nano second these days! Whew!

Well that's all for now. I hope everyone else is having a good day. I've had a lot of cancellations this week; I think God must want me to have time for all this extra stuff getting ready for Maddy's college.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[Determinator]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Wow! late check in for garlic breath I'm afraid. but still here and acounted for ...gasp!

feeling well physically and menatally having no issues with sobriety although this whole process of closing down work is starting to freak me out...seeing the last of the inventory go...the racks coming down....furniture...yikes! 10 years at the same job. if I were going through this situation last year I'd be binging and really flipping out. Very gratefull that I can realize this is tough but roll with the punches.
exercise tonight will help too.
Nice to hear so many positive and strong-willed posts here today
be well freinds...

[Accountable for Me]

Thurs~Aug. 23rd

Many great positive and strong posts here indeed!

Deter - it is always hard when a huge change is at the horizon. You are in a really great 'head space' and so strong now. You can accomplish anything you set out to do. It is OK to grieve for the end of this chapter in your life. There is something new and exciting waiting for you - I know it!