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Wednesday-September 12th

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    Wednesday-September 12th

    Hi everyone,

    It's a beautiful day here. I wish I felt as beautiful as the weather....

    I must admit to being a bit depressed since my sister left. Even though I am carrying on from day to day, I have been having nightmares about feeling out of control about a variety of things. Last night I had my first drinking dream in a while. I dreamt that I was surrounded by all those little shooter kinds of drinks that they have up by the counter in a liquor store, and I was convincing myself that they aren't "really" drinks, so it wouldn't count if I drank any. I think I woke up before I actually did drink (I was getting ready to though!). It's just a sign that I'm more internally upset than I'm letting on to myself. I don't like it much. It just doesn't feel fair that my daughter and sister should leave in the space of just a few short weeks! Poo!

    Anyway, externally, life is going okay. It's just my attitude that needs some help right now. I'm just going to keep struggling with it until things get better.

    Okay, enough of that.


    I hope everyone has a good day. I'll likely check in later!


    Hugs,:l

    Kathy
    AF as of August 5th, 2012

    #2
    Wednesday-September 12th

    Good afternoon Kathy and all to come.
    Thinking of all the times we crave just a little ME time, then can find ourselves at something of a loss when we actually get it. Especially tough on you with both your sister and daughter leaving within a short time of each other.
    Your past references to "teenage meltdown" made me smile........we can all do without those. I shudder to think of the day my girl leaves home.......think that`s one of the reasons I decided to do my course.......to fill up my life, as they all fly the nest sooner or later. Good you have your work to keep you busy, and of course, you have all of us.

    Hope everyone has a splendid day,

    Starlight Impress x

    Comment


      #3
      Wednesday-September 12th

      The pictures won't come through on this. Sorry... I've received it several times and thought I would share!

      I have to admit that my attitude stinks alot lately, too Kath
      Let's try and learn to "dance in the rain".
      Glad yesterday is past....Felt like a cloud over me all day.
      No drinking, thank goodness!
      Have a good one everyone.
      :l Nancy



      "There once was a woman who woke up one morning,
      looked in the mirror,
      and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.


      Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"
      So she did
      and
      she
      had
      a
      wonderful
      day.


      The next day she woke up,
      looked in the mirror >
      and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

      "H-M-M," she said,
      "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?"
      So she did
      and
      she
      had
      a
      grand
      day.




      The next day she woke up,
      looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.


      "Well," she said,
      "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail."
      So she did
      and
      she
      had
      a
      fun,
      fun
      day.



      The next day she woke up,
      looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

      "YEA!" she exclaimed,
      "I don't have to fix my hair today!"





      Attitude is everything.




      Be kinder than necessary,
      for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.


      Live simply,



      Love generously,


      Care deeply,


      Speak kindly.......


      Leave the rest to God



      Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...


      It's about learning to dance in the rain.
















      "Be still and know that I am God"

      Psalm 46:10

      Comment


        #4
        Wednesday-September 12th

        Verrrrry nice, Nancy. Attitude adjustment used to mean wine to me. Now I have to find another way to adjust the old attitude. Thanks for the support. I know that you've been in a bit of a funk too. They say things are calmer in the Anbar province these days. I hope that is true. :l

        Thank you too, Starlight. Yes, there's an optimal amount of "ME TIME" to be had. Not enough or too much isn't so good.:H

        Even from college, I'm dealing with meltdowns. I took a monitor to Maddy yesterday because the one on the old laptop was not working (you can just plug it in to the laptop apparently), but we just got the blue screen of doom. I listened to hysterics on the phone on the way to see clients, ugggh! Later, she called and said that one of her tech friends had gotten it to work right. God Bless the Techies! At any rate, Dell had better get us this new laptop pronto, or I am sending them the bill for my upcoming hospitalization!:wow: I don't mean to complain though, I like the fact that Maddy still relies on me for some things.

        Anyway, thanks again.

        Hugs,:l

        Kathy


        Gosh, I'm going to sound moody here, but I just remembered--today is 3 months!! I think I'll start another happier thread.
        AF as of August 5th, 2012

        Comment


          #5
          Wednesday-September 12th

          Hi Kathy, Star, & Nancy: I must admit to struggling w/my thinking lately. I too had a drinking dream which is probably because I've been thinking about drinking lately. Today, I noticed my favorite liquor store for the first time in a long time. I didn't turn in, but that was an effort. I asked about these thoughts on long-term abs (thread: "Just Wondering") & got some great info. Anyhow, I can't tell you how important it is for me to come to MWO every day. I don't want to put my sobriety in any danger. It means too much to me. Mary
          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
          October 3, 2012

          Comment


            #6
            Wednesday-September 12th

            Kathy....

            My "baby" also "left the nest" this year, so I can relate to the feelings of loss you are going through in that department. It is hard to let them go. Someone said something profound to me yesterday though. They said "Don't we raise them so that they CAN be independant?"...yeah, I guess that IS what we wanted... Strong, independant young woman. We should be proud...we done good, sweetie. I know, that does not take away that we miss our babies... but....

            Other than that....Hey guys...I AM 3 DAYS SOBER TODAY!!!!! I don't know how I am doing it, but I am.. WOW :shocked:

            Star, you in particular, have been instrumental!! your inthusiasm is infectious!! SO...Let's just keep these days coming. I am completely shocked. I have not had this in....forever. My biggest problem is that hubby cannot figure out why I suddenly cannot STAND his insessent SNORING!!! LOLOL...

            Well, love to you all. I hope to god I can keep on coming here and tell you I am still AF

            Beth
            formerly known as bak310

            Comment


              #7
              Wednesday-September 12th

              Hi Mary, that's why I come here every day, too. I'm glad that you are getting what you need from MWO. Keep up the good work. If you need some 1:1 time, feel free to PM me. I think that MWO provides support like AA does, but it does so with a completely different kind of structure and without the dogma.

              Beth, I am just thrilled for you. Three days is wonderful! Just keep building on it day by day and don't think too far ahead. We all get there in our own way.

              Can you all tell I'm working at home today?:H
              AF as of August 5th, 2012

              Comment


                #8
                Wednesday-September 12th

                Happy Wed AB-a-rooos!

                Kathy, sorry to hear your feeling blue...I recommend garlic bread..the magical cure for everything
                Mary, I heartily agree
                HUGE congrads to Beth!!!!! no matter why it's YOU doing it
                Great poem Belle...I hadn't seen that one.
                Heya Starlight...hope you get a little "me" time in

                I'm 10 days from my previous record this year...day 84 and counting. Feeling really good now altough yesterday I fought a miserable headache. Could be do to my intake of sugar...bad! I don't normally eat hardly any sugar but had some lying around the house and you know how that goes...d-oh! so back on the healthy track here.
                I'm at home today babysitting the plumber so maybe I can do a little extra mwouting

                be well you all and all to come....
                nosce te ipsum
                (Know Thyself)

                Comment


                  #9
                  Wednesday-September 12th

                  checking in----I'm having "those female" moments...down in dumps..best wishes.....
                  :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Wednesday-September 12th

                    oops..I'm selfish..my many angel hugs & kisses:l
                    :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Wednesday-September 12th

                      Hi everyone.

                      Thinking of those of you who are having a hard time. Kathy, Breeze, tomorrow is another day and hopefully a better one. Thank God we have there boards to vent on, can you imagine if we were keeping all these pent up feelings inside?? I have been keeping a lot of stuff supressed for years and its only now that I am beginning to deal with it during on-line counselling. It feels so good and I am at the stage where I have gotten all the background stuff out of the way and am actually looking forward to starting to address some of the questions the counsellor has brought up along the way. Who knows what I will uncover but at least I might have some answers as to why I have been behaving like I have and I might be happier within myself.

                      Star, Determinator, Mary you are doing so well and are an inspiration to the rest of us.

                      Rustop

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Wednesday-September 12th

                        Hi all.... Doing OK. I haven't checked in for a few days only because my father's place is full of people and they all want to use the computer. Not only am I staying here but my step sister and her kid is as well. Thank God for a huge house I guess. Things have been stressful a bit only because I am use to doing my own thing and I have the two year old who blows gaskets when she isn't getting what she wants. I am sure my step mom is beside herself by now! Anyway..... I have to go back to Abbotsford to have my surgery on the 20th, but I will be staying in a hotel. Which totally sucks because I will be by myself. I am so stressed, but whatever.... my problems don't seem to be as bad as some others here.

                        Anyway just checking in.... love to you all!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Wednesday-September 12th

                          ok-

                          I am beside myself.....

                          This is the ...how can I say....the ulimate insult.

                          OK-said that before-this weekend is the "phoney in law" whatever..we live in a small state-what the hell...I'm trying not to be mean-sorry lushy I think I'm queen B#tch here when I vocalilzed how much I did not want to go (etc) to hubby yesterday ( a reunion for goodness sake).....NOW GET THIS:

                          today is my day off: hubby called & I was upstairs this morning-so when I didn't answer phone-you guessed it-he thought I was drinking. So to my suprise as I'm getting ready to pick my son up-my husband barrels into the house "why didn't you pick up the phone".......he thought I was passed out drinking
                          blah blah blah...I'm labled after 9 months of AF .....this reunion is getting to me.Sorry such a sad note-but I have made such an effort & to be insulted like that.

                          ok-done crying....carry on. love you guys.

                          Congrats Kath!
                          :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Wednesday-September 12th

                            Oh Breez - we just never seem to leave the stigma behind do we??? I wish I could make it better for you! Just know we are here for you. I know that doesn't mean as much as your real life, but yeah - we have all been crucified for our actions and can relate to you.

                            BIG HUGS XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Wednesday-September 12th

                              Oh Breez, when you calm down you need to sit down and have a little talk with your hubby. He had no right to assume that. And you have every right to feel insulted. We are all so proud of you here if that helps at all. Sending you big hugs too.......
                              I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

                              Comment

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