Wednesday-September 12th

[Breez]

Wednesday-September 12th

thanks ladies...this is an internal battle...& you know what -no s*x for him-lol. Thanks-I'll be fine-just needed to vent.

ps. hubby just came home & according to him-I should keep my comments to myself. LOL-keepi ng my bitchyness &humor to myself.

[Determinator]

Wednesday-September 12th

Breez, big hugs for you XXXXX

best way to put them all in their place is to exell and be happy while the phonies woller in their pittiful existence. ha!

[Determinator]

Wednesday-September 12th

comments to yourslef? WTF? time for a big slap for a certain hubby

[Finding My Self]

Wednesday-September 12th

Nancy - thank you sooooh much...that's lovely and was just what was needed.

Me too feeling headachy and blah - something in the stars guys I think! The only thing that can abe affecting so many parts of the world!

Read and re-read the Pema Chodron words on 'sitting with unpredictability'...I really did drink on that fear! Everything here changing (or not!!) so fast....such new awarenesses that I don't know what to do with...a Memorial Service this evening for a mum at my son's school, only 55..gone in a month...I've wasted so much time...not drinking really but believing my parents saying I'm stupid and worthless....NOT!!! No-one is!!

Got so much going on now - really tired but it's great! Lots to catch up on....trying to get on this BA(Hons) course with the Open University (distance learning) for Arts and Humanities but no money to pay for that 'big' course and too late this year for the financial help I'm eligible for....get a job...doing an African Drumming course one evening a week....doing a Day Skipper navigation course (sailing) another (done the practical)...and joined a choir again for another evening.... (oh, and I want to do Flamenco dance on Friday evenings too...drink? When?!?)(But that's not why I'm doing it - I want to do all these things! The last ten years have been a ........???? I gave up on me!
Plus several 'meltdowns' with my daughter#2 at 18 too - boyfriend gone off to Uni and she's broke now the summer's come to an end and there's no customers for the restaurant she got great tips at over the summer...and now she doesn't want us to move away back to family until Uni in October 2008 (I NEED to go next week - no, July 2008 is my hope). Got to get up to my parents to sort out some sort of Inheritance Tax stuff or they'll give the Government nearly 10 times what they need to in tax on their death (and 10 times what it would take to get me into a house of my own and not rent - or give water to 150 villages in Africa....) And do they talk money - NO!! Use it as an abusive weapon but include me? No! But I am 'A Big Girl Now' so .... (But I will need all the luck going!!!)(Not saying they should give it to me but the taxman...!?!))

Sorry - seems to be the evening of the rant here tonight guys! But I am really lucky here. I'm just feeling a sort of :upset: for no apparent reason so, Nancy, you see vyou were spot on!! Thanks.

So many of you have got horrible things going on and real missing folk stuff so there are loads of hugs bouncing over off satelites as I type!! :l :l

Hopefully everyone's OK...I've sort of run out of steam now so I'll probably do better to go and get some kip before I put my foot in it....everyone feels a bit vulnerable tonight and I'm just thinking of you...

Thanks for being here for me. I don't want a drink but I sure want to stop feeling so 'up-tight'!!! But, back to my above sentence - I shall 'sit with unpredictability' and make friends with it....

Lots of love all round. (Breez and Accountable - big hugs...)
FMF xxx

[Breez]

Wednesday-September 12th

Deter as all ways-:l :l :l u made me smile

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday-September 12th

I'm with Deter, Breez. Your hubby sounds awfully tense himself, if he came rushing home to see if you were drinking. Rather foolish really after 9 months. If you really don't like being with his family, I don't understand why he wants you to go so much. Appearances?? Anyway, just my two cents. I mean who is he married to anyway? You or them? Anyway, hang in there!

And FMF, you're right, maybe there is just some interplanetary funk going around! Hang in there yourself and just sit with the uncertainty.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[barry]

Wednesday-September 12th

Looks like I'm the last one here today, long brutal day at the office. My wife is away so I'm "pacing the cage" here in this big house. It used to be when she was away it would be an all out booze fest. No thoughts of drinking, just ice cream, d-oh!
Deter, I'm truly envious of your exercise habits. I have a darn gym in my house and just can not seem to get started again. Tried to finally get an avatar tonight but just can't get the photo to upload, is 2.54MB too big if so can it be reduced?

Breeze I can't add anything others have not said, maybe tell him how hurt/insulted you feel? Guys can be pretty thick sometimes.

Be well.

[lilaclover]

Wednesday-September 12th

Hi, Thought I would check in. Finished 60 days Af recently but the the last few weeks have been a set back. Thanks for your PM Deter..it has really got me thinking. I am a perfectiontist and tend to stay away when I am not doing well which only snowballs into my doing worse...not good. MWO saved me several months ago and I need to get back on the train. Will try again tomorrow. Thanks.