Tuesday 18th

[Determinator]

up and at 'em!!

The price of sobriety is eternal vigilance!!

hope you are all well and happy. I had a VERY positive work interview last night...yeah!

I got there early (we met at a hotel bar) and ordered a tonic with lime so when he got there he didn't know what I was drinking. Hard part was putting up with the guys vodka breath...oh well....nice to be strong enough that it was not a show stopper for me.

Have a super day everyone

[Cinders]

Tuesday 18th

Wow, Det, You won both prizes!! You stayed sober and had a great interview. :goodjob:

Hope you end up with a fulfilling job and not "just a job" in your hunt. It makes a huge difference in your life. At least I love what I do. (Wish I could do it with less travel.)

Hanging in there, btw, taking all the supps as you suggested. No problems so far.

Have a wonderful day, all abbers!!

Cindi

[barry]

Tuesday 18th

Hi Deter and Cindi and all to come. Hey Deter, I know everything will work out great for you on the job hunt, good people are always in demand. Lately, I've been having lots of really old memories come back to me, good and bad. It's really strange. This is the longest I have been sober in my entire adult life. That is really quite a statement when I think about it, or in reverse, my whole adult life, except for the last five and a half months, I've been drunk everynight. Shameful. What a waste. I want to make up for that now to myself by living everyday being the best person I can be. This really is a journey.

Be well all.

" a little dust on the bottle can't hide what's inside "

[retteacher]

Tuesday 18th

Hi Deter, Cindi, & Barry: Deter, you are so right that the price of sobriety is eternal vigilance. For me, it's not just avoiding drink & drinking thoughts. It's also being vigilant about any unfinished business I might have w/myself or others. As soon as I harbor stuff, I start thinking about numbing out. Right now, I feel clear...nothing pending. I hope that made sense. Thanks for being here. Mary
PS: I could get into MWO this AM...not sure why.

[indigosky]

Tuesday 18th

Hi Everybody,
Feeling kind of unsettled today. As some of you know I had been planning a trip down to Kentucky to visit with my Mom. Well it didn't happen. My sisters husband has a bad gambling problem and has been on the road driving truck for the last 7 months. Trouble is she hasn't seen much of the "great money" he's making. She had four kids with him they are 8,6,4, and 2. They had to stay with me for a few weeks because they were homeless and it was pretty chaotic. I was still drinking which didn't make matters any easier and for that I have alot of remorse....:upset: Anyway Her hubby had her lose her last house through his gambling and a few cars. My mom bought her the last place they were living in and they nearky lost that. Supposedly a friend is buying it to pay off the mortgages and back taxes or they would lose everything. To make a long story short... I gave her a place to stay, fed five people the best I could with what little I had, let them use my car, and was happy I could do it for her and the kids. I got a letter she wrote me while she was here and I know she meant it with the best of intentions and out of love (regarding my drinking) but it still hurts. I suppose it was supposed to be an intervention of sorts to get me to stop slowly killing myself. If I had still been persuing that path of destruction it would have been a wakeup call but since I had been making steady progress and feeling pretty good it felt like a kick in the ass or slap in the face. Not all of the things in the letter were constructive you see, some things were untrue and just plain hurtful and unneccesary. I keep trying to tell myself that it was done out of love and that she had no way of knowing that I would stop but I just can't get the stuff out of my head.
I have 15 days today Af. God bless you Mary starting over...you can do it. Please don't beat yourself up. I gotta run, my neighbor needs to go to the store. Take care.

[jessie]

Tuesday 18th

You are right that she probably meant well. Another thought is that she must feel pretty humuliated by being so dependant on you to house and feed her and 4 kids. Like the cornered cat that lashes out at everything. Even the hand that tries to help it. Maybe you should write her a letter and tell her that you are trying to stop your own way.
Love
Jessie

[Newyear]

Tuesday 18th

indigo - seems pretty harsh to get advice from someone you are trying to help. I understand her concern but it sounded like it was not all completley said out of love or thoughtfulness.
This is why it is important to do this sobriety thing just for you. It makes a big difference to put yourself first in all things at this time. It feels a little selfish but I think it is really needed.
Hope you can get past the hurt feelings and keep taking care of yourself - for you.

And Det - just wanted to wish you luck in your search. Remember, you are interviewing Them Too! I know you will find the perfect job for you-
And hello everyone I didn't mention
oh..Mary - yes, you made sense - I know exactly what you are talking about

Love -
Lisa

[Hannah]

Tuesday 18th

Hi Everyone!
Indigo, my hubby's brother committed suicide over gambling - so am familiar w the whole scenario. I'm thinking that your sister is probably feeling pretty hopeless in her life situation, and sometimes when someone is in that very low place, it almost, even tho she loves you, makes her feel somehow "better" that other people have problems too - as she perceives your drinking to be. In writing that letter she may have been doing as much for her own self as she was for you - even tho she meant it very kindly. Can you understand that sort of warped thinking? I guess I am saying I agree w Jessie.

Deter - Hope the job works out for you, and that it's the job you want.
Barry - I am so happy for you, you have surely turned your life around.
Hi to Mary, Lisa, Cindi!