Friday 9/21 Y'all!

[Newyear]

Good Morning-
Can't believe I'm starting us out today! I made it to the gym this morning - had my trainer there. I think he just rolled out of bed too - his shirt was on inside out ! So I kinda laughed at him a litle - course I've done the same thing!

I'm looking forward to closing my door and getting lots of work done today. I also need to spend an hour or so clearing out work emails .....I'm embarassed to say that I have about 500 still in my inbox...yikes. I know I've looked at them - just can't figure out what to do with them!

Have a great AF Friday everyone. What are the weekend plans ??

Lisa

[Cinders]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Lisa and all to come,

I am jumping onto this thread because my goal is abstinence. I am on day 5 AF, yahoo!!

Last night presented a serious stress challenge for me as my daughter's fiance had a car accident that ended up with him in jail. No, not a DUI, but a screw up on a speeding ticket two years ago. (Believe it or not, not his screw up but the counties!!)

Spent the night at the county jail trying to get him out. We are talking a really good person here, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, no drugs, works hard and wham!! He is hit hard. Breaks your heart.

However, even though I got stressed, I never thought about drinking!! It was great!! I think the topa, Campral, supps and mindset are helping.

Anyway, enough about myself. I know many abbers are yet to come and hope that all have a beautiful Friday and a wonderful weekend, all of which are happily AF!!

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Cindi: Great Job! Stress, disappointment, anger, etc. are some of my triggers. It's a testiment to your committment that you did not even crave, much less cave. I'm right w/you on the day count. Keep coming here & we'll do it together. Mary

[barry]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Lisa, Cindy, Mary great to see you all doing so well this morning. Lisa thanks for getting us started today. Looks like its going to be a great weekend here in the Northeastern US. I'm going to try to take my boat out probably for the last time this season. I'm swamped at work and should really work this weekend but who ever said on their deathbed "I should have spent more time at the office". I think something has really changed with me in terms of the alcohol because I really don't think about drinking anymore or have cravings at all. In fact the thought of drinking to me now is ridiculous. I was reading Flip's 9 month check in post in long term abs and her last line talks about finally growing up. Maybe I too am finally growing up.

Stay well all.

[rustop61]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Hi everyone

Well done Cindi. Hope you all have a great week-end. I have no major plans apart from keeping away from the vino!!

I probably told you all the I am trying on-line counsellling to deal with issues from my past and maybe the reason why I dont have an off switch? I have got the background stuff out of my system which felt great. This morning I received an e-mail from my counsellor. Some of the comments he made about my mother-in-law were just so spot on and it felt great to have a complete stranger describe her so accurately. I felt vindicated, that I was not being a bad person thinking of her as I do. I had told him about how she had hurt me by doing a, b and c. My girlfriends tell me I'm right about her but my hubby makes me feel I'm imagining things, that she would not have done it on purpose etc. etc. He makes excuses for her which I guess is understandable, she is his mother and very underhand. She tries to do it behind the scenes and then plays the poor little old me, I'm so sweet and nice, I'd never do that!!

Have any of you had to cut ties with your inlaws? I'm an only child, parents dead so tried to treat his family as my own and wanted them in the picture for my childrens sake. However, they have played so little a role in their lives including the grandmother. Well she did when I brought them to her but refuses to come and spend xmas with us, did not come to either of their confirmations. I dont ask her very often but I think for major occasions it would not kill her. Shes not house bound or bed ridden and can go places when it suits her. The crazy thing is my husband does not bother with any of his family, never rings and could go months without seeing his mother.

I have threatened at various times to stop all contact and have distanced myself. After my 13 years old confirmation in April I told him that I would take responsibility for the girls seeing her 5 or 6 times a year for the next few years while they are still at home but thats it. If he wants to see how she is every week he can phone, no more weekly phone calls from me. I'm not arranging to go down week-ends. When they are off school at mid-term in October I'll go visit her then. We live over 3 hours away.

Anyway my counselling is helping, thanks Bella if you are reading this. Have a great week-end everyone.

Rustop

[Determinator]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Aloha Friday ABeroooonies!

thanks for the kickstart Lisa, someday I'll learn to use outlook on my computer and organize those bloody emails...someday.
Cindy that's a wonderful thing to see you developing good coping skills so quickly. Isn't it nice to know you can rely on yourself?
Rustop I've had to distance myself from my "evil stepmother" for a long time but it was for the best. I've since been in touch with her but keeping her at distance. i guess it's sad but neccessary sometimes.
I'm doing a ton of running around and taking advantage of this non-working time to whip the house in shape.
Barry, Mary and all to come be well and have super Friday

[bootcampbarbie]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

hello all and have a great and super abs friday. i'm happy to abs it today. was going to surf today but think i'll hike the dogs and work out instead. surf up tomorrow when there are waves hopefully. i am feeling very happy to have my little mwo family. cheers bootsie

[Accountable for Me]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Hi all! Happy, happy, Friday! Yippee...

Rustop, good Lord, I know where you are coming from about the parent in-laws. Well my relationship is horrid with my father in law. He blames me for all of his son's short comings. LOL! Like I turned him into an alchy/drug user/neglectful man when he was 13 and continues to be quite a bit. I still laugh.

I avoid him like the plague. I live in the same city and refuse to see him or his hypochondriac, fat-assed, two-faced, do nothing in my life but bitch girlfriend. I know I have his grand daughter but I personally feel he could careless about her (he makes no effort in seeing her) and I personally think she is better off.

My husband's mom lives about 6 hours away and she is super nice from what I know of her. I believe she likes me because I feed her son properly, care for her grand daughter very well and send her pictures of Hailey so she feels connected. Apparently my hubby's ex did not like her and made her very clear where she stood in regards to his other kids. I also think my mother in law loves the fact I cannot stand hubby's father. He really is an arse big time.

So, you know, you should not feel any guilt or anything. We cannot choose our parents or inlaws, or siblings for that matter. If anyone affects you in a way where it makes you feel badly don't bother!

My two cents for the day!

Happy Friday all!

[Finding My Self]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Rustop - (and thanks AFM too!) I really empathise! My P's have F****d up today. :upset: Hanging in there but sooooh mad I threw the phone and my glasses at the wall - new phone will be ?30 but new glasses ?250. (What am I like?!?!) Off to buy some off the peg ones. I too, after several attempts over the last 35 years, have to cut all ties with them. God knows where that will leave us but.... as long as it's alive....

It seems to me that going AF is easier than going PF (parent free!) At least the alcohol doesn't actually go around telling everyone your business or jump into your glass (even if it might seem to do both!) when you've gone AF but my parents...well, they're everywhere like Dry Rot or osmosis. Ugh! So leave them alone but just wait to hear about the carnage they're producing behind your back. They've done that so many times before. (And that's without them knowing anything about the booze!)

But, let'em. I can face me in the mirror. How they can face themselves I will never know.

Onwards and upwards. I had (chose) to have 2mg of valium (it used to take booze and 10mg!) but at least it was just that, a bust phone and no drink .... I'm happy with that. Whatever it takes!

Wish me luck for the weekend....daughter driving 4 hours late at night tonight to see boyfriend after singing in a gig deep down in Cornwall. She'll get there 1-2am - God willing. (She's a good but somewhat overly confident driver... I get scared. She hasn't worked out (yet) that other people do seriously weird things very fast!!) So I'm a bit twittery and on my own all weekend with the parent stuff going on when I was going to be with family up-country..... I'll be thinking of you/us all here - HARD!!

Bring on the...................water!! :H

Love to all
FMF xx :h :l

[Cinders]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

FMF,

Oh, mama, a weekend of worrying about your daughter (no worry in the world like it) and dealing with such a bad parent situation, and dealing with lonliness.

I'm sorry!! Wish I could be there to chat in person and help you through the weekend!!

I, too, get lonely during the week when I am in the hotel rooms and I, too, am pretty friendless except my family due to my constant traveling. Shoot, I barely even know my neighbor's names!!

So, I do understand solitude but somehow it doesn't bother me too much, UNLESS, I am worrying about something going on with my family back home.

Take good care of yourself this weekend. Find something unusual and fun to do and pamper yourself. You deserve it!!

Cindi

[southernbelle47]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Hi everyone.
Wow.....I'm going to be nicer to my daughters-in-love and my daughter's hubby too.
I'm very blessed with great inlaws.
I spent yesterday making muscadine jelly and this morning helping hubby make some wine. AF is tough at my house, I'm not 100% always but it is my goal.
My son leaves for Iraq next week... I have to stay very busy so I won't think about it too much.

The fall garlic is planted! I also planted lettuce, onions, turnips, beets and carrots. I'll have to use a frost cover on the raised beds.
Have a great weekend!
Love,
Nancy "Belle"

[Determinator]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Garlic???!!!!

[Cinders]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Oh, Nancy "Belle" -

Muscadine Wine??

Tears in my eyes...

Cindi

[Finding My Self]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Cindi - thanks so much. If I get down I'll read that post lots! Buddy!

I went to flamenco even if I was going to watch most of it coz I thought it better to keep busy. The door was shut for security as it as 5 minutes after start time and it's a small centre with the studio upstairs..... they couldn't hear my knocking (banging!!) so I went to get some grub (hungry - yea!!) in a nice outdoors cafe/bistro thingy. Not doing food tonight - Friday?!?! So I went to the next pizza place. No AF beer (they need educating!!) so I had a tonic water topped up double with sparkling water. I mention that as it was every bit as nice as I remembered a G&T being many years ago (Not one of my tipples for years.) I had great grub for a tenner (?10) and then went and saw 'Atonement'.......... Absolutely brilliant. My daughter had said it was a must see movie. And it was. Has anyone else seen it? The msot stunning cinematography and music and the story - wow! (Well, I liked it!!!)

SO, a good evening. I still haven't heard if D#2 has got there and it's 00.30. If not there by 01.00......01.30....you know how it'll go but I can sleep in tomorrow (if I do). I'm not normally a stay up until sort of Mum....mobiles and all that have helped but something about (a) driving and for some reason (b) tonight.............. Keeping my mind on her arriving safely!

So, I might have some legs left for a Noze Looan tomorrow evening. (Happy Night in Cornish!!!) (Now then!....night of Cornish/Breton dance and music please...unless????) Dodgy as David will likey be there as his daughter is in the band...........but I 'll make my mind up tomorrow.

Coffee with The Old Flame on Wednesday morning..... ?! ?! ?!

Lots of Love to all. Hope your weekend is shaping up nicely! (Hannah - I so hope your son and GF are in happily!)
FMF xx

[Breez]

Friday 9/21 Y'all!

Poking my head in to say~hola hola!

Sorry, but last week was my work week from hell. I "accidentally" left some important papers at home that a supervisor needed-that was my "oops". And so many family issues came up (that dreaded reunion). I think a few people thought I might have slipped-but no-still sober!

And tomorrow I have yet another test-my niece (sister-in-phoniness' daughter) birthday. Like I said before-when will it end-these endless birthdays.

By the way....the frog died Monday. RIP.

Things will be settled after this weekend so I'll be back in the swing of things again.

Happy to say-rip roaring AF even after the whirlwind week I had.