BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

[rob]

Good Mornin' fellow ABsters! Looks like its time to start a new thread, the last one was getting a little unwieldy. Since I was up bright and early 4:30 am I thought I'd get this party started. Back soon
Love and Peace

[july232007]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Rob and TOBB,

Up bright and early myself for a Sunday long run. It is early and still dark here but feels great to be healthy, clean in spirit and headed out the door.

Hope each of you has a wonderful AF day.

July

Day 59 AF

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

BOOZE BUSTERS CHALLENGE FAQ by DOGGYGIRL

Hey again: Thought I'd copy and paste the FAQ for anyone new to our little travillin' salvation show.

Hello to all Booze Busters and Prospective Booze Busters! Are you up for a 30 Day AF Challenge?????

Frequesnt Asked Questions (FAQ):

Q: What the sam hill is a Booze Buster?
A: Anyone who has a goal of going Alcohol Free (AF) for 30 days in a row.

Q: Do I have to join at the start of the month?
A: NO!! Your "Day 1" can be at any time. And if you are already into your first month or your hundredth month AF, you can join at any time. All who desire to be AF for at least 30 more days are welcome.

Q: What if I fall off the wagon - do I get kicked out?
A: NO!! We do hope you will let us help you dust off the seat of your pants, and drag you right back onto the Booze Busters wagon. You might get your butt kicked, but you won't get kicked out. Oh - and we have a Fugly Green Suit you have to wear during your butt kickin'. That suit is worse than the kickin'.

Q: What if I am tempted to drink - really really badly tempted?
A: Come here for a kick in the seat of the pants! Read the previous Booze Buster 30 Day Challenge threads from start to finish, and if the desire to drink still exists, continue reading other AF threads until you fall asleep.

Q: What does the Booze Beast look like?
A: According to Chief--This is what the Booze Beast like--:alf:

Q: How does the group keep track of what day people are on?
A: We count on YOU to shout out your stats loud and proud every day in whatever way suits you. For me, I'm collecting a gold star * for every AF day out of due respect for my inner child. You are welcome to use that idea or any other idea that suits your fancy. Don't let us miss your 30 Day Celebration because you are too quiet about your stats!

Speak up if you have other questions!! We are here to prove that WE CAN DO THIS! And we can have a little fun while we're doing it! Let us know if you have questions or suggestions as to how we can improve the BOOZE BUSTERS 30 Day Perpetual Challenge.

HUGE thanks to Music Man and Buffy who got this whole thing started.

DG aka Alpha B*

Note: these FAQs were composed by Doggygirl. :h

[rustop61]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hi Rob, July and TOBB

The last thread was getting a little long!!! We busters have a lot to say. Day 23 for me and slowly but surely getting there.

Have had a lovely long walk with the doggies and going to have a nice relaxing day. Enjoy the rest of the week-end everyone.


Rustop

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hi again. Just edited the FAQ, some of the images did not paste well.

Mornin July-I always love it when you inagurate a new thread. Congrats on 59 days!! Big party comin' up for you tomorrow!!

Rus- Great goin' on 23 days. Glad you enjoyed your walk, sounds like you must be having some really nice weather.

Time to head off to get some actual work done.

[LindZee]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hi everyone!

My MWO book and hypnosis CDs finally arrived and this morning I listened to the hypnosis CD for the first time. It was certainly different. I think I'm going to like this. But I do know that I need to get some more comfortable headphones --I have a slight headache, and it ain't from drinking! Do any of you listen to the CDs regularly? I'm just about finished with the book too. It says to listen to the sleep CD all night long. My CD player doesn't have continual play so I'll probably listen only one time per night.

I had such a good day yesterday. I met some friends at a Spirit, Mind & Body Festival, kind of a holistic health fair. I just felt so good knowing I'm doing my best to keep my body healthy. For years I've been eating right (most of the time) and have banished refined sugar from my diet. But yet I went on comsuming huge amounts of wine --who was I kidding? At least I'm finally doing something about it.

Hubby's still sleeping (almost 9am here). He's bound to have a hangover this morning, he had so many glasses of wine, I lost count. It is so hard not to say something critical. But if he suddenly stopped drinking and I didn't feel I was ready to quit I would really resent him criticizing me. Anyway, I watched the rest of the movie myself while he was passed out. I did some reading after that. I love the clarity --it's so nice to get pleasure out of the full day instead of zoning out from the time you start drinking, wasting most of the evening in an inebriated fog.

My husband has never criticized my drinking, in fact I think he likes it more when I drink. We were always drinking buddies and had some great fun while we were drunk. When one person gets sober it's got to affect the other person in a relationship. I want to be positive but I feel kind of negative towards him now. I wish he were ready too.

LZ
Today is day 20 AF!!!

[Phoenix74]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Congrats Lindzee!

:goodjob: on getting to Day 20 wow what an achievement! Big kudos to you.

On the hubby front - it's hard isn't it, when you're on two different wavelengths...
What to do? Let it be. I have heard lots of AA mantras over the yrs since my relative kicked the dependence with them, and this one comes to mind:

Let Go, And Let God

I think we all have issues with our other halves one way or the other. Mine is a very sensible one glass of wine with dinner or one beer b4 dinner guy (NEVER any more than that) and he still enjoys those whether I'm AF or not. Sometimes I wished he wouldn't , other times lately it doesn't bother me at all.
I think the reason for that is that I know I'm dealing with ME, not him. He doesn't have any issues with 'it', but I can certainly sympathise with you bcos it sounds like your fella might have [hope I'm not speaking outta turn].



Maybe if you just concentrate on YOU, and leave thoughts of his drinking out of your equation. It could drive you nuts. You're in a better place than he is for sure, bcos you have
an honest dialogue going with yourself. As someone said to me here the other day, she knows people who can have three and worry bout it, and people who have a s**tload, and not give a hoot...This is all about you, and how you feel. You're taking a shot at dealing with your demons, his'll have to wait for him...

Dunno, hope I haven't spoken out of turn but as Finding My Feet said to me, I just wanted to be honest.

Congrats again on Day 20 :thumbs:

[LindZee]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Phoenix, no you haven't spoken out of turn at all. Hubby definitely has a problem. In fact watching what he's doing to himself is what finally pushed me to make a change in my drinking habits. I know I have to concentrate on myself and most days it's been working. It's the weekends that get to me. He's wonderful in so many ways. He a great cook and makes wonderful meals with whatever we happen to have on hand. But he can't cook without drinking. He keeps pouring glass after glass and by the time the meal is finished I take a look at the clock and predict to myself what time he will be asleep. I usually give him 10 or 15 minutes and I'm rarely wrong.

The thing is, I miss his company. I want to share the experience of watching a movie together and the discussion that follows. Now he interrupts the beginning with goofy comments and then falls asleep. He doesn't remember it in the morning so just says It was a Snoozer, as if the movie wasn't good enough to keep his attention and it had nothing to day with the 7 or 8 glasses of wine he had.

Let Go and Let God. I will remember it whenever I feel a holier than thou attitude coming on. I really do love him. It's just that we're in such a different place right now...I don't want us to drift apart.

I wish he were like your guy--a one drink only type of guy. But when I'm honest with myself, I don't think I would have been interested in someone who wasn't a drinker when we met almost 25 yrs ago. A non-drinker would have made me face my problem long ago and I wasn't ready for that. Which just confirms all the more, I need to let go and take care of myself.

Thanks Phoenix.

LZ

[Hannah]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Morning All!

Thanks for starting the thread, Rob, it was time!

Lindzee & Phoenix - I think a lot of us have problems with the hubby issue. I went through my first real test of my resolve last night - we went out for supper with one of hubby's business assocaites. Hubby does alright in the drinking department - he can have one or two glasses of wine and then quit. My problem w him has always been that he wants to have that few glasses of wine EVERY NIGHT. He has always had a more difficult time than I to go AF, even though in the long run, I always drank more than him because I couldn't stop at one or two glasses. So it's been an issue in the past, when we were supposedly going AF. We would go along for a whiile, and then one day he would phone me at work and say "Would it be alright if I bring home something to sip on tonight?" and I would then cave, and off we'd go again.

This time I resolved that I was quitting whether or not he does. He has pretty much quit too, in that we never have any wine at the house anymore. But he still will have a few glasses when he is out with his business associates. So there we were last night - on the way over, he asked me if I minded if he had some wine. What could I say? So I said no, I don't mind, when actually I do - but what can I do? I wish he would voluntarily just not have any, i.e., chose "being with me" instead of "being with them". But it's not something I can force. I have accepted that he always will have the odd glass. And I guess in principal that's not a big deal. But I'm like you, Lindzee, and I miss the way things used to be. Last night I found myself really ready to go home, sitting there drinking my tonic and lime, and certainly not in the same mind space as hubby & friend. It was ok, still enjoyed it to a point, but I have reached the point where I really don't care to go out for supper anymore, would much rather just cook something at home. Going out for supper has become something to "get through" rather than a pleasant interlude. Also feel like I am losing part of hubby - it's been going on for a while anyhow since he took this job a few years ago that has just taken over all his time, and he travels a lot. It seems like we exist in the same house, and actually still love one another, but we are almost like two room mates than anything else because we don't share anything anymore. And I have had to find things to do on my own, because I can't just "exist" waiting for the little bit of time that he can spare me.

Sorry about the rant. Just gets to me sometime. I also realize that there is no way that I can go back to drinking, because I would quickly descend into a heavy, on a dowward spiral, self desctuctive habit again. It's nice to be able to get on here and vent, if nothing else!

[Chief]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hi Everyone! Got up and ran a 5k race this morning and it was great.. beautiful weather, no hangover, clear thinking.. nothing like a good run to sort things out. My wife took some pictures of me at the run and I've tried to upload them here but it keeps saying error-file too big. I'll keep trying to get it.

Quitting drinking when your spouse drinks has to be tough. I'm lucky as my wife doesn't drink and never has much at all. I remember about 10 years ago we were talking about my drinking and she said " I knew you had a drinking problem when I married you, but I know you'll take care of it when you're ready.." smart woman..

I hope you can all work things out with your husbands on this. It would be so easy to start preaching but that would solve nothing..

Have a good Sunday everyone..

Day 44 here..Don

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hello all..... It's good to read your posts.....

A bit quiet tonight - who, me?!? Yes. Just exhausted from the dancing and a bit worried about this muscle pain and weakness that seems accumulative i.e. not getting any better. I danced ok but each time I stopped it was like everything set in stone and today....

Well, there you go... Still here!

And David was there and it was good to speak with him and he gave me a lift home so I could stay to hear the last band (his daughter's brilliant one) coz the last bus went at 10pm (?!) and it finished at 11.30. It was ok and quiet but I just feel a bit flat today so wont say much - unless I get second wind later!...

I read about missing hubbys who are busy, being a bit lonely, busted knees, family stuff, battling vino and ciggies etc and I'm 'listening' really I am...and sending loads of cyberhugs.
Maybe it's a Sunday thing.... it's grey and mizzly (Mizzle is the Cornish speciality of ultra fine heavy mist that comes at you upwards on the wind! Cross between mist and drizzle but very wet - we are very good at it!) today and dark now and feeling very autumnal (read wintery!) Sort of day to stay in and watch the rugby...I did but it didn't hold me today. I played the piano instead until it hurt too much...

So, thinking about you all and I'll be checking in to read up later but might be Quiet Footsteps tonight....

Lots of love
FMF xx

[LindZee]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Oh, Hannah/Deb :l How long have you been AF now? It's sad that you can't enjoy going out to supper, because you should be able to go out for a nice meal without feeling uncomfortable. But I totally understand. We went out a few weeks ago & I ordered a soft drink. It felt so strange but I got through it. I think that eventually we have to face going out where people drink, otherwise we'll spend our lives sitting at home. I almost find it harder at home. When I stopped buying wine my husband went out and bought it. He used to ask if I wanted a glass too but after I said No numerous times he stopped asking. He still hasn't asked what's up with my not drinking...guess he doesn't want to go there.

Chief, I think I'll steal your wife's line..."I know you'll take care of it when you're ready.." . She is a smart woman and thanks for the reminder to not start preaching. I am biting my tongue. Did you always know in your heart that you had a drinking problem? I wonder if my hubby even thinks his/our drinking is an issue. He probably figures we work, have a house and go on nice vacations so what's the problem? If I keep it to myself that it's a problem for me and our relationship, how will he know?

Today it's sunny & 80 degrees...a perfectly beautiful day. I should get out and take a walk before the weather changes. FMF, I'm so glad I don't have to cope with grey and "mizzly" lol:H . I get depressed when the sun doesn't shine.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone.

LZ

[july232007]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hubby Problem

Lindzee and other AF'ers with the hubby problem.

I can understand the frustration now but I could not fully see it when I was the hubby problem.

When my wife decided to go AF three years ago I was supportive , I said. In retrospect I know I was not fully. Now being AF for a fair time I can see by daily experience how frustrating it must have been for her. She was patient but we had several conversations about us living a consistent lifestyle in our marriage. I liked the idea of being AF but, as I now know, I was afraid to commit to it. Afraid of what? Failure, in part. Missing alcohol and the life style, in part. Just an unamed fear that was palpable and had some depth.

My decision in July, was just that, my decision to go AF and it came at no particular time in our marriage. I wish it had been earlier, but it happened as it did when I was ready.

I think honest conversation in a marriage is good. Disappointment and frustration are honest feelings and can be shared. It is a sensitive subject but look at how important this relationship is and how destructive alcohol becomes in the long run--especially when one is AF and one is not. It may take awhile (remember I am the quick study that took three years to take action), but I think gentle but honest and consistent talk can prevail.

I know that for me remaining AF for life is an essential part of me that grows with each day. Part of my motivation comes from the benefits I receive from having an AF marriage. I love the AF life and don't know where that earlier fear came from, but I know it is gone (so long as I am vigilant to remain AF).

July

Day 59 AF

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hey All: Just getting ready to pack it in for tonight.

Hannah- First and most importantly, thank you for coming here every day and giving us a kiss, a kick or a kudo. You have no idea what that means to us.
Secondly, hope all went well with your son's move this weekend. I hope you had a fun time.

The whole relationship/alcohol thing is crazy. There are so many factors involved. I'm certainly no expert on either of these topics, but I think there are Questions we can ask ourselves that might help us get a handle on how they intertwine, such as:

Was/how much was alcohol involved in the attraction in this relationship?

Has there been a change in the level of alcohol consumption in either or both of the partners during the relationship?

If a change exists, define it. Map the history of the change. Try to look at it in a linear, nonjudgemntal fashion.

Look at the role that alcohol has played in the relationship. Again, try to be objective and nonjudgmental.

So we've decided to become AF. Looking over our history, why in the world would we expect our relationships to change in 30-60-1000 days? We did not roll out of bed one morning an decide that we would have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it happened over time.

Just because we've decided to become AF it doesn't mean our partners will. It will also take a good deal to repair our relationshps.

These are just my thoughts, no authority behind them.

tkene- We have no information about what has become of DG, we miss her also.

FMF, July, Sarori and TOBB. Sweet Dreams.

Love and Peace
Rob

[indigosky]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 9/23

Hi,
Just checking in. Day 20 here for me so I guess that's good. Found a quarter bottle of booze hiding behind a dresser while I was cleaning yesterday but I dumped it out much to my amazement and a brief moment of I guess a feeling of wastefulness(but...what a joke really).
I got alot done today since I was house bound thanks to my brother in law. He was supposed to stop by and help me pick up a recliner at the store since he had a truck but he never showed up. Not to mention that he has 300 dollars my Mom gave him of my money to give to me. I was really looking foward to that new recliner, not to mention my money. You would think he could have at least called to tell me he wasn't going to show. His cell phone was out of service. My sister said he'll probably come tomarrow...I really hope so or there goes another day stuck at my house wondering where my money is:upset:
At least I don't feel like drinking over it but it really does get to me. It was such a beautiful day today I was hoping to go for a walk. Well, no point dragging on. Hope everyone had a good weekend.