Monday, Sept. 24

[retteacher]

It's 2 AM & can't get back to sleep wo/admitting that I slipped again. I feel pretty miserable both physically & emotionally, but I'll keep trying until I get it. Sorry.

[Cinders]

Monday, Sept. 24

Mary,

I didn't slip but I can TOTALLY understand. Sunday is family day at my house. It is the day I have all the kids and grandkids come over. I cook the entire meal and dessert and have kids running around the house and outside like mad. Noise, laughter, fun.

In the past, around 1:00 or so, when the football games would start, I would crack open the first bottle of wine and start my sippin' while I was working in the kitchen. Kids running in and out hugging me.

Such a habit!! And so much fun!!

I missed the wine very much yesterday. It was such a part of the whole "family day" routine. I did have AF beer on hand. My husband thinks I am crazy for using it, since I hate beer (lol) but AF wine tastes like grape juice, AF Beer at least tells my brain there is some alcohol relationship thing happening. It not only got me through, I had a wonderful time.

Not only did I have a wonderful time, the grandkids had a wonderful time because Granny wasn't drunk by the end of the day!!

I write all this, Mary, because I have a feeling something similar is happening at your house during the weekend and if you sit back and think, I bet you can come up with some strategy, like I did, so help you though.

Please don't get down on yourself, Mary, instead figure out what you can do to make it through whatever situation it is on the weekend that is making it so hard for you to overcome those damn urges.

You are my girl. We are soooo much alike, you and I, not only in age, but in family circumstances with children and grandchildren, and our desire to be free to be the best we can be for ourselves so we can truly enjoy what should be some of the best years of our lives. Hang in there, we will do this together, I am sure I will slip along the way, too.

Damn it, we have worked hard to get where we are and we deserve to enjoy it!!!

Love you,
:h
Cindi

[retteacher]

Monday, Sept. 24

Cindi: You're so right. The cooking & sipping thing is what I did a lot of. It's an association that is so hard to break. The football games completely occupy my husband, so I'm left to my own devices.

I had no particular trigger for yesterday. Just the odd thought that I acted on.

I feel better now & will just have to try again. Mary

[rustop61]

Monday, Sept. 24

Hi everyone

Mary, glad to see you feeling better. Today is another day and a fresh start. Very autumnal here, hope all of you in the UK are ok, just saw that you had tornadoes.
Have walked the dogs, listened to one of the cd's and taken my supplements so hopefully its the start of a good week.

Rustop

[Breez]

Monday, Sept. 24

Morning All!

Mary~I've tried & tried & tried.....till I finally got it. And even then I still had an episode. This "process" is not an off & on switch. It's a learned process. We learn as our journey progresses. The main thing is to want to stop-keep that thought first. Everything else falls into place.


Day off-but have to be a "center parent" this morning for my son's class(10 a.m). Basically-I help cut. count etc.....down to a 5yo level~hey my kind of level! I had fun yrs ago w/my daughter's class but now...I'm too old & want to crawl back into bed! But my son was so excited when I told him yesterday it makes the effort. So now it's every other Monday.

Nothing else .....have a great AF MONDAY everyone!
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[Hannah]

Monday, Sept. 24

Mary - :l - to you. How hard it can be, sometimes. Hope today is a better day for you. Hang in there, you can do it. Thinking of you.

[Newyear]

Monday, Sept. 24

Good morning Mary, Cindi and Russtop-

Mary- those triggers can be so tough. Glad you posted though and that you are starting right back where you left off. New week and new beginnings!
Cindi- you had some great advice - and congrats for getting a plan for your weekend.
I always drank wine too but have also been drinking af beer. Non alcoholic Coors beer is pretty good.
Russtop-sounds like you are having a good morning so far...doggies are happy. I didn't hear about the tornados - hope everyone is ok too!

I'm at work but wanted to check in this morning. If I were not AF then I would have had at least a bottle of wine yesterday. I too had a 'trigger' moment.
I was planning a bridal shower for my friend and needed to wrap the gifts for the attendees and address the invitations etc. For some reason this was a huge trigger.
I definitely would have done all that with a big wine glass in my hand.
I tried to figure out why but still not 100% sure. Maybe that kind of thing makes me anxious? Don't know. Maybe I just didn't want to do it.
Anyway..didn't drink. Sure felt like it though.
Kathy - from yesterday - pat on the back for you for getting thru that weekend! And I'm glad you had a good time in spite of the cravings. Your af days are piling up!

Have a great Monday everyone!
Lisa---oops and Hi Hannah and Breez! posting at the same time

[retteacher]

Monday, Sept. 24

Thank you so much everyone. I'm going to try to put yesterday behind me. I want to move forward regardless of the amount of slips I have. I thought I was on guard about the alcoholic thoughts...it's unbelievable how the mind can trick itself:
-I'll just have a little.
-It'lll help me relax.
-I'll only have one.
-I don't have anything else planned.
-etc.
I have to stop kidding myself. Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Monday, Sept. 24

Morning All!

Mary, you are so brave to come here and post about your mistakes. I really admire you for that. The fact that you keep posting is a real sign that you are trying hard. I have the feeling that you are going to get there someday soon. You have what it takes to beat this!

db, you are so sweet and supportive. I drink Arial AF Cabernet Sauvignon when I drink the AF stuff. The trick is to really have no booze for several weeks at least. Then it tastes a lot less like grape juice.:H It's definitely better than the other AF wines like Sutter Home.

Rustop, I hope you have a good week, too. You sure are starting off well. Even though the days are still pretty hot here, the nights are really pretty crispy, which is really nice.

Enjoy your cutting, counting and pasting, Breez! Have a great day.

Hi Hannah. How are you doing? You always have so many supportive things to say, but so little about yourself. How is your BIL these days?

Good to see you, Lisa. Yesterday seemed to be Craving Sunday it seems. I'm glad that you got through yours okay too. I would imagine that shower invitations would do it though! My temptation is doing paperwork on a Sunday. I would definitely arm myself with AF wine before tackling that one.

Anyway, time for me to get ready for work. It's good to get back to the routine, but I feel like I could sleep for another couple of hours. Yawn.

Hugs,:l
Kathy

PS: Today is Day 105--I passed 100 without realizing it!:wow:

[Finding My Self]

Monday, Sept. 24

Mary - so with you still............ you'll do this when the time's right but just think how much better you must be with such powerfully major mod-ing!! I don't want to jest coz I want to say just the right thing to help you reach your goal.... so, I'll shut up and just send a :l

Kathy - way to go!!! Well done! I'ts funny how the days creep up now isn't it?!?! 120 for me today.... and I just feel good. A good sort of, "yea, well? so? Yes, pleased but on we go..." sort of thing!!! Never would have believed I'd feel that/reach here 120 days ago!!!! Says something that we can do AF beer/wine I think - I never would have dared to try it 2-3 months ago!!! And yes, it tastes pretty 'real' to me now! Crazy thing is that I remember saying about that years ago....I wanted a drink that tasted like booze to herald the start of the evening but that didn't get me feeling pissed..... Now I have just that! What a funy (not!) way of reaching it....!!! (I enjoy 'playing the game' of never having even an AF beer until after 6pm..... terribly 'normal'!!!) The UK AF wine is poo tho..... not sure I want to waste money taste-testing them either!! Feels weird looking at wine bottles!!!

Well, onto and into the rest of Monday. Yes, seemed to be 'Trigger Sunday' yesterday for some reason. I didn't drink Mary, but did have a drinking dream! Fortunatley hasn't bothered me at all like it used to..... I was mixing an inch of 2.5% beer in a glass with an AF one in my dream to test it out but not liking the feeling of being p'd!?

Bl**ping hormones this end...................grrrrrr! Apparently we react to a change in hormone level equivalent to putting 6 grains of salt into an olympic sizedswiming pool.... I just got a dustbinfull put in or taken out I think!!!!

Love to everyone - so glad the movie was good and how lovely to watch it with your son in his new home Hannah! What was it?

[Finding My Self]

Monday, Sept. 24

Mary - so with you still............ you'll do this when the time's right but just think how much better you must be with such powerfully major mod-ing!! I don't want to jest coz I want to say just the right thing to help you reach your goal.... so, I'll shut up and just send a :l

Kathy - way to go!!! Well done! BE PROUD!! I'ts funny how the days creep up now isn't it?!?! 120 for me today.... and I just feel good. A good sort of, "yea, well? so? Yes, pleased but on we go..." sort of thing!!! Never would have believed I'd feel that/reach here 120 days ago!!!! Says something that we can do AF beer/wine I think - I never would have dared to try it 2-3 months ago!!! And yes, it tastes pretty 'real' to me now! Crazy thing is that I remember saying about that years ago....I wanted a drink that tasted like booze to herald the start of the evening but that didn't get me feeling pissed..... Now I have just that! What a funny (not!) way of reaching it....!!! (I enjoy 'playing the game' of never having even an AF beer until after 6pm..... terribly 'normal'!!!) The UK AF wine is poo tho..... not sure I want to waste money taste-testing them either!! Feels weird looking at wine bottles!!!

Well, onto and into the rest of Monday. Yes, seemed to be 'Trigger Sunday' yesterday for some reason. I didn't drink Mary, but did have a drinking dream! Fortunatley hasn't bothered me at all like it used to..... I was mixing an inch of 2.5% beer in a glass with an AF one in my dream to test it out but not liking the feeling of being p'd!?

Bl**ping hormones this end...................grrrrrr! Apparently we react to a change in hormone level equivalent to putting 6 grains of salt into an olympic sizedswiming pool.... I just got a dustbinfull put in or taken out I think!!!!

Love to everyone - so glad the movie was good and how lovely to watch it with your son in his new home Hannah! What was it?

Hi to later TOBBs.... Back later meself I'm sure - love to read all the news!
FMF xx

[barry]

Monday, Sept. 24

Hi all, a lot going on here already! Hey Mary, no need to say sorry here. The cooking sipping (read guzzling) thing was huge for me also, like a ritual. My wife doesn't know how to cook, d' oh!, so I am the cook in the house and every night it was the wine drinking/cooking thing. It would take me literally three hours to make a shrimp scampi simply because it was a reason to drink. For the first three months of the program I didn't cook anything at all at home because it was just too uncomfortable/dangerous for me. Now I'm back to cooking and I don't think about the wine at all--now shrimp scampi in twenty minutes.

Hey Deter did you have a doctor look at the knee? I did a partial tear to my left MCL in April 05 (no surgery) and it took about a year to heal, and I still feel it sometimes. We don't have any plans to come out west skiing at the moment but if that changes we would love to meet up with you guys at Tahoe.

Be well everybody.

[Determinator]

Monday, Sept. 24

Super Monday ABworld!!

glad to see the crew bright and early. Got our first twinkly layer of frost here in the desert...brrrrrr! sure is pretty in the morning sun.
oh..just heard on the news they found a bunch of wooly mammoth skeletons near Waco TX...68,000 years old. wow! quite a historical find.
ok, back to mwo lol
Mary, glad your ok, I too have the most profound association between cookng and vino. I'm with Kathy on the Arial...pretty good stuff. Just to relive old times I'll stand out in the yard with a bottle of arial in one hand wearing nothing but my underwear while screaming at the neighbors. KIDDING! lol...somethings definately wrong with my sense of humor......
off to continue painting the master bedroom...be well everyone!

[retteacher]

Monday, Sept. 24

Everyone: I'm going back to the ODAT method. Just for today, I've decided not to drink. I would not avoid MWO, because I know that would trigger a huge binge. When I slip & come back here, I can usually confine it to one day. If it weren't for MWO, I'd be very much alone w/this problem. Thank you, Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Monday, Sept. 24

That's the way to go, Mary! Hugs to you, honey.