Tuesday, Sept. 25

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

We're doing an ODAT thread (one day at a time) on the Newbie Forum. If you are struggling as I am, please join in. If you are doing well, we could use your words of wisdom from time to time. I feel strong today & have committed to being sober. Tomorrow is in the future, so I'll think about it when it comes. I think taking my sobriety in day-to-day committments is what I need to do while I'm still in the beginning stages. I love reading here at the 30 day forum...it gives me so much hope. I hope everyone has a wonderful day today. See you later...I have my g-son to attend to right now. Mary

[rustop61]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Hi Mary and everyone to come.

I agree with all you have just said. People like yourself have been such an inspiration to us newer newbies, its great to get your feed-back. It was because of your posts that I rejoined in September. I was so envious to see people who have joined way, way after me and now they were 3/6/9 months AF. If you all could do it, then I could too. Day 25 so on the home stretch to my first goal of 30.

Rustop

[barry]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Hi absters: Hey Rustop you are correct to say if someone like me can do this you can do it also. Believe me, there was a point I thought for sure that I would never be able to stop and that I would be a goner from drinking. I used to look up the symptoms of cirrohsis and pancreatitis on the internet. I couldn't stop for even one day. Every morning in the shower I would swear that was the last time, only to drink again that night. Two to three bottles every night.
I think I kept drinking despite my "never agains" because somewhere deep down I really wanted to drink. The thought of never drinking again, the reality of actually quitting, was terrifying, sort of like the images and screaming in a vampire movie when they hold the cross up to the vampire.
I can tell you that once I broke the cycle of daily drinking, somehow, somewhere along the way, I now have it in my mind that I do not want to drink. I don't want it. Before, even though I would tell myself I wanted to quit and regardless of the pain, somewhere deep down I really didn't want to give it up. Now, not only do I not want it, I'm happy I don't want it. Once I really didn't want it anymore, it has become just a matter trying to grow and change as a person so I am not still the same person that wanted or felt I needed to drink alcohol.
I can't tell you how that change came about exactly but it did not happen over night. All I can say is that I followed the program, the entire program as RJ spelled it out in the book. I did it exactly the was she described it and so far so good.

Be well all.
Day 170AF

[rustop61]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Thanks for posting that Barry, it really sums up how I felt. I am doing the programme exactly as per the book apart from the topa. Have you been taking the topa as well as the supplements? I know I'm very early into the programme but the cravings do still sneak up every so often. I have read on the boards about a lady who had fantastic success without the topa but I know its a powerful tool, (I'm just a wuss regarding drugs) so I'm just wondering.

Rustop

[Accountable for Me]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

rustop that would be Gabby. She has almost 16 months AF!

[barry]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Rustop: I did the Topa for a little more than 12 weeks, the highest I ever went was 150mg for about 2 weeks, mostly I was at 125mgs. I don't know but I think I'm one of the ones that needed to take it to break the cycle. I'm not big on meds either that's why I stopped. Stopping was an experiment of sorts because if powerful cravings came back I would have started the topa again in a heartbeat. The cravings did not come back for me(so far). Any small side effects of the topa were worth it for me for breaking the chains.

[Guest]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Hi Mary, Rustop, barry, AFM and all to come.

Mary, I only know that when you first came to M.W.O., you couldn`t seem to quit........and then, suddenly you did. I watched as you posted the AF days piling up for you and suddenly I thought to myself.........."here`s a woman who couldn`t stop, yet now she`s stopped".........that was when it all began for me, and I realized that if you could do it, I could do it also, and thus far it`s paying off........thanks to you. The strength of character you have shown is amazing.........I just know that you`ll make it.

Rustop, you`re doing famously........I really believe it has to be our "right time" to quit, and that your time is now.I also say that we all must do "whatever it takes", so wouldn`t hesitate to take the meds if I was failing........we`re all different.......I`m 58 days sober without having taken the meds......just how things have gone for me personally.

Barry, you`re considerably farther down the AF line than myself.........I look forward to the very first day when I really don`t give wine a thought. I will never give in........I know with the very fibre of my being that I will not drink..........it would just be the "icing on the cake" if the "wouldn`t it be lovely" thought would cease to taunt me.

Have a wonderful day all.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[Determinator]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Top of the Tuesday AB-world!

what a great 'tude here this fine day! so glad to be in the midst of such positive energy
still hobbling here on my bad knee hoping it gets better...arg!

barry that image of a vampire cowering at the sight of the cross really gave me a laugh! I think I'll do a graphic of someone holding the cross up to a bottle of booze, and the bottle catching on fire. very cool!

be well me loverlies!

[retteacher]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Star: I'm going to do it again ODAT. I'm now using you as my touchstone. Thank you, Mary

[Guest]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

We`ll do it together, Mary.

[ChangeAgent]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Starlight Impress;200006 wrote: ...it would just be the "icing on the cake" if the "wouldn`t it be lovely" thought would cease to taunt me.

So many inspiring people here, and you are one of them. I'm only on day 14 and have had "wouldn't it be lovely" thoughts for several hours. I mean that's exactly what I am thinking. So, you continue to inspire at this very moment. I have my plan for this evening. Yoga class, meditation class, home, herbal tea, craft project, bed. But I'm feeling grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and tense.

As a matter of fact, I'd better be on my way to the classes. I will not buy wine on my way home. I suppose if I don't take cash or cards with me I won't be able to buy any.

[Cinders]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

I am soo glad to be in such good company. Mary, Star, Barry, oh gosh I hate to leave anyone out!! However, You all count!!

Yes, it would be "nice" not to have the "wouldn't it be lovely" but they are just thoughts. Just thoughts. Nothing to hurt us. Nothing that can make us DO anything. We have other thoughts that are destructive and bad and we don't act on them. So, don't dwell, don't worry, don't fret. Bad thoughts are like good thoughts, they are nothing but thoughts.

What matters are actions and deeds.

One day at a time, friends, but they are glorious and wonderful days because our actions and deeds make them so!!

:h
Cindi

[Chief]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Hi Everyone...day 46 here and it is great being sober. So glad to be a part of this group!
I was like Barry..tried many times but I knew deep down inside I wasn't really into it. Then for some reason it clicked, and I sure wish I could figure out what it was because I would market it! But it was a combination of RJ's entire program and the wonderful people here that took the time with me, especially the first few days.
I think something happens when you finally really make the committment to change.

Have a great evening everyone..
Don

[Finding My Self]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Well, I've got nothing left to hurt now.... - well, possibly! I've jsut come back from night one of African Drumming.............WOW! My Alpha waves are roaring now - apparently like meditation when you get going and I guess I touched that for a moment in the middle of concentrating!!! Djembe x 21 of us.... Fabulous! Just warned that our hands will be very sore tomorrow so if I type one liners (whew you say!!!!) tomorrow that's why!

I cetainly had a rest from thinking of anything at all in the middle of that lovely rythmic roar!! AND it was only a 100 meter walk on the level to get there!!! (My town makes a huge bowl and I live on one edge and everything else I do is directly on the other edge!! With Foot Power reigning but winter coming....I think the drumming's going to be cool!!

It IS good to be doing lots of new things. And they don't half get in the way of thinking about anything to do with booze. I felt I would go mad if those feelings didn't settle down soon but now they don't worry me like they used to.... I thought about this and wondered if we're not as 'alone' as we think.... I mean, do you remember drinking days, especially the 'good' days (if!) and how friends would (and still do) say, "Oooh, I should give up really..." etc etc...... It's on pretty well everybody's mind an awful lot of the time anyway. You don't actually find THAT many people saying, 'Sod it, I'm fine with it'....about as many as you find only drink a glass at Christmas and there aren't that many of them lets face facts!!!

So, I wonder if, like whether we smoke or not, we 'talk about it' loads, we've to accept that we'll never reach a stage where it doesn't ever enter our thoughts in any fashion? But that we'll reach a stage of just accepting it as just 'a thing' in life..... Something that we've discovered we don't have to react to but just pass by. Otherwise we're still in a sort of denial? Or rather phobia!!!

Sorry, I hope I've put that right and not too negatively! It's meant to be positive! Just takes the time it takes to reach that point..... Lots of bods here say it happens - Barry? ExTexan...Yes?

I got in from drumming and thought about whether it was going to be pomegranate jiuce or tonic water??? It took having a curry later to think about my AF lager bottles! (And even then I left half half one of those!!!) So maybe it is happening here at last... hmmm, 121 days. So...??

Anyways, love to all - I hope you all OK. 'Lady Oop North' (crazy eh?!?) I hope you're ok?....you sounded especially p'd off with these thoughts today... (When's the course start?!?)

Hugs FMF xx

[idbiscuit]

Tuesday, Sept. 25

Okay, so I am brand new to this....what Barry wrote seems to resonate with me...I am terrified of stopping. The truth is I love the way I feel at a certain point when I'm drinking. I just can't seem to maintain that point.
I have decided to do the moderation thing. Although I find I amuse myself...I know deep down inside I'll have to quit completely at some point. Am I ready to change all my friends? My lifestyle? Or can I figure this thing out in moderation? We'll see.