Saturday, 29 September 2007

[Paddy]

G'day Abbers!

Well it's a sunny day in Hanoi! With all the crap going on in our part of the world, it's nice to look out of the window and see the sun, at least! The whole Burma situation REALLY depresses me, as I have many friends there and I so hope they are ok and not caught up in the skirmishes ...

I'm on day 13 AF, ahhh, real relief I made it thus far ... Congrats again to Det to 100 days! I hope I will last that long. It'll be a challenge, but this time around I even see a shrink to last that long, grin ... I armed myself with all tactics possible, as I'm so fed up relapsing ...

Hope Deb (Hannah) is going to be ok. Digesting the loss of a loved one is really hard. It's especially hard, once the whole funeral ceremonies are over and reality hits. Deb be strong. Psalms 55:22.

Sorry, Flip, I know, you're not a religious person, and I'm not normally referring to scriptures on the boards, but I guess in a situation of loss of life, that's the best possible way I think I can help console someone, so bear with me please. And I know, deep inside your Aussie heart you're a softy ;-)))

By the way, anyone knows what happened to Scoobs? Haven't seen her for ages? Gotta start a PM campaign on her.

Well, rambled enough. Stay well.

[rustop61]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Good morning fellow abbers

Glad its nice and sunny your part of the world Paddy, its wet and grey here so enjoy it. Managed to get a walk in with the doggies so I feel set up for the day. All our thoughts are with Hannah/Deb, she contributes so much to these boards. We'll all be there to support her when she gets back. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of the week-end.

Rustop

[retteacher]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Hi Paddy & Rustop: I'm doing well today. I'm short-circuiting any drinking thinking as it comes up. I substitute real-life examples of my drinking exploits. They're ugly enough to prevent me from taking that very damaging first drink. I really like this thread. Thank you both so much for your contributions. Mary

[Determinator]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Top of the Saturday Padd, Rustop and all to come!
pretty early Sat for me, so nice to be doing it hangover free. Managed to avoid the bubbly on day 100 celebration last night
Got our first light snow last night....sniff....summer is ova!

Paddy, I sure hope the Burma troubles settle peacefully very soon...sadly we don't don't much of the details about it here in the US.

Mary, you asked some interesting questions on yesterdays thread and I'll address them when I'm not quite this sleepy ....zzzzzzzzz...no coffe yet.

haven't seen Scooby or Doggygirl on this thread in a while....? hope they are ok.

Be well freinds

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Happy Saturday to all.

It's good to see you, Paddy. Enjoy the sunshine. It must be very anxiety provoking to have friends in Burma, aside from the general depression of what is going on there. Stay strong, friend. I'm glad you have added a shrink to your arsenal. Can't hurt!

Rustop, it is thoughtful of you to mention Hannah. I am thinking of her too. She has suffered through a lot with grace and dignity. I'm glad you got your walk in. Have a good day.

It sounds like you are doing well, Mary. I'm glad of it. You have been doing a wonderful job of reaching out for what you need, and I'm glad that all of us have been able to provide some support to you.

Hey Deter, I'm glad you enjoyed your 100th! And snow in late September, wow! Maybe it was the universe's way of saying "Well Done!"

It was really nice to see Maddy last night. We had a nice talk, but how can I explain to her NOT TO FEEL GUILTY? She feels like she has left me alone to go off to college. Even though I am lonely sometimes, I am enjoying the freedom--to do what I want, to only clean up after myself, to only answer to myself. I am sad that she is very grown up, but at the same time, I think we are both ready to get on with our separate lives. It sure is a time of mixed feelings.

Anyway, I have to get on with my day, so have a good one, everybody!

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[YoungAtHeart]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

:bump: Hey, where is everybody???

[Finding My Self]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

I'm here!! Been down on the coast today - daughter went to see her Dad and I relaised Ias going to be here alone with nothing going on for the whole weekend....so, new me DID something! It was good. Took myself to where there are good shops and loads of boats....lots to watch.

Had a really weird thing when I wanted to go into a Pizza Express for some lunch (sssh! it was treat day!) and the girl on the door looked at me as if I was from space (Well, Zog, yes!), I noted the heavy Goth eye makeup and....but then saw she was headphoned to upstairs where the main restaurant is.... presumably she was listening in but?.... Then she barked ,Yes? and I asked for a table for one.... "ONE???!" she spluttered..... and stared again as if...well, I don't know! Then she spoke into her headpiece (we used to have to run up and downstairs for a customer in my day!)..."Have we got a table for ONE????????!..." at which point, having come to the town because I felt alone I told her I wasn't having it, it wasn't my choice to be single and left.... but NOT in a marked manner!!! Yea! That's new for me! Then I went into the rest of town feeling really poo but I would have drunk on that once - BIG time. But I went and found another bar, sat on the water's edge with a sandwich and an AF lager and it was great! Sod her! What was she on then...!!!!

Then, this evenong though I did this.... (quote from mods thread....) I had 1.5 inches of 2.8% lager in a glass topped up with 1.5 inches of AF lager tonight..... My first foray into Mods!! Erm, yes, larf!! Timid ! But I don't care! Timid works for me! It didn't fire my rocket really and I certainly didn't want more so..... and today I was watching a lady drink a glass of red wine and couldn't remember what it felt like!! And didn't want any either. But then again, I was watching Pretty Woman the other night and when 'her and him' (aaah!) finally kiss...kiss...kiss (!) I found myself watching with my head on one side like a confused puppy and not remembering what that felt like either!!! Sad ol' cow!!

So, anyways, wanted to share my 'lip-wetting' experience....don't laugh!!

Don't think I've threatened the business too much do you?!?! I really wasn't bothered...sort of did an experiment (probably far too timidly but better that way!) quietly when there was no party or 'need' (really don't want to go there again....my trigger).... a neutral spot...and I am sooooh grateful for being able to do it...with the supoort here and because I didn't feel I had to rush off and drink a bottle of something stronger.... very lucky I am.

That's it really. Just here, happy-ish (*) and thinking of all you guys.... you probably ddn't want to know this but I did sort of 'toast' you all.....certainly wasn't going to share it with you and 'threaten your successes' (if that's not too grandiose); too much respect for you all. But said I'd share my 'thoughts and deeds' on this if, as and when so here I am..... thinking of you all!

(*) = would rather try the kissing bit again than the red wine...I know that!!!! Always! And still have to sort out my housing stuff... aaagh!

Love to all - TV and sit down calls....walked too far!

Love FMF xx

[ChangeAgent]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Had a bit of a frustrating day, but not so bad. I briefly thought of a glass of wine as a reward for what I accomplished this morning, but knowing how even one glass always made me loopy in the afternoon I put the thought aside mostly, and came here for reenforcement.

Well, my mom is visiting and she asked if my husband would make scampi. I picked up the ingredients. The positive thing is that I COMPLETELY FORGOT that the scampi recipe calls for white wine. I had the perfect excuse to buy wine and it didn't even occur to me.

The negative thing is that for the first time since starting AF there will be wine in the house and I am totally dismayed by the prospect of this challenge.

The liquor cabinet has not tempted me. When I hear my husband open a cold beer I easily enjoy an AF lager - I like it better than his watered down light beer. But wine? OMG.

Would my mom understand if I just said "No scampi, sorry, can't have wine in the house now." No, she would not understand. She is sipping a beer on the porch as I type this and will have at least 3 vodkas this evening. She has already said, "If the sugar thing is making you crazy, have a glass of wine." (Gee, thanks Mom)

So, I told my husband to buy a bottle of cheap stuff and will tell him to dump it down the drain when has all he needs for this dish.

The fact that I am getting so jittery about having wine around is certainly a rude awakening about how far I have yet to travel on this journey. And I am scared about the "just one glass with dinner" thought that is present.

I have to log off, but I sooooo appreciate being able to get these thoughts out.
:h

[Finding My Self]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

ChangeAgent....oh, I so feel for you........... I do hope you managed to find a way round it. I think the cheap - use - down drain is good. You're thinking all the good things!!!

I so felt it in the beginning too but, as I say, I don't now and bottles are open in the cupboard and I forget all about them.................it gets easier and I so hope you get to feel like this too.....it's such a relief.

So, keep going in the trust that you'll feel as indifferent about too one day soon. Glad you came here to 'dump it'.....good one. Really good.

Love and hgs
FMFxx

[Cinders]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Paddy, Rustop, Mary, Change, Deter, FMF, Kathy, Chief, Bootsie and all my other wonderful friends (I hate it when I miss someone!!),

The day has been wonderful, beautiful, and serene. I am like Mary, taking it ODAT and knowing vigilance is required. Especially after I let myself fall so flat the other night.

I am sitting here drinking an AF Becks and watching college football and just chillin'. Hubby working on school work and asking me to Google every once in a while. It is nice.

Kathy, I know what you mean about about the lonely but independent thing. It is kind of nice to have your own space without other responsibilities but it does get lonely sometimes. I guess we can't have it all, can we?

Deter, what can I say? 100 days!! You rock!!

RU - You have been doing so well and are hanging in there. I am very proud and impressed.

Mary - glad you are doing so well right now, we will hang together.

Paddy, I am so glad you jumped back in and I have taken your words about sugar to heart. I am staying away from it and trying to limit my carbs, too. Every little bit to help. Thanks!

Change, yikes, an open bottle of wine at my house is an empty bottle, emptied down my gullet, You go girl!!

FMF - Someone looking at you strangely because you are out and about alone? Geez, that is all I ever get to do, 5 nights a week. I am alone. It never occurred to me to worry about it. I hope I don't start noticing now... :H

I hope all have had a wonderful Saturday. I sure have.

Cindi

[ChangeAgent]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

DB2 and FMF, thanks :h

Just thought I should follow up my panicky post....the remainder of the wine got dumped down the drain...by me! I forgot to ask my DH to dump it and I volunteered for clean up duty.

I feel good about that, though we WILL NOT be cooking anything calling for red wine. That would have done me in.

Mom is a trigger and I have a couple others coming up. Trying not to dwell on them because anticipatory stress is a trigger too. For right now, I'm trying to use my stubborness in a positive way.

Thinking of so many of you this evening, and wishing a happy, sober, fulfilling Saturday evening/Sunday to all of you. If you've slipped don't stay down.
ODAT.

[Paddy]

Saturday, 29 September 2007

Dear Finding -

Poor thing, what a cow to give you such an attitude for coming alone to the restaurant. That's what I do all week long. Well, my fianc?e will finally join me in December, but hey, what's the big deal of going out alone? Thanks God, I live in Asia where people in the service industry are a bit more well-mannered. I know in Europe, where I'm from, people can have real attitudes. Don't even dare asking anything, you get a nasty reply ... Over here, in Vietnam and also in Thailand jobs are so scarce that people will hold onto them. Any nasty remarks to customers, and these guys will be kicked out of their jobs ... The customer is king/queen ...

Anyways ... Good on you that you left the place. I would've given them a right piece of my mind, and would have told them that this is the second time I've been here: The first and the last!

;-) Have a good w-end after all - and after a good whinge everything looks better