BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Rustop and Cindi

It (preferring NOT drinking that is) just kind of crept up on me!

In the beginning of the first 30 day challenge - I still was craving alcohol big time and it was like I was still denying myself something I thought I wanted.
I was still scared to imagine life totally without alcohol at that point.

Now - with a fair bit of AF time under my belt, I can more see clearly that the advantages of being AF vastly outweigh the percieved "advantaged" of having a drink.

If truth be told, a large part of me is now afraid to drink again - because I know where it would lead.
Believe me - I don't want to go back THERE!

No - I have no plans to start drinking again any time soon!
I CAN now envisage life without alcohol - I've been there - it is NOT scary - in fact, it is bl**dy great!

I think you probably need to let your body adjust to being AF for a good while before you slowly realise you ARE actually feeling GREAT!
I am now fully experiencing "reality" (whatever that is!) for the first time in many many years.

I spent years in a kind of permanent numbed out haze of either being under the influence, or hung over and feeling poorly.
I wasn't really "there" for family, work, - anything really .

I am now beginning to feel that I am finally "here" all the time - and I'm lovin' it!!

Sorry for self-indulgent ramble - but just trying to get the thoughts down to see if they can help you understand where I am coming from!

Try it - you will love it too - I promise!

Take care

Love :l

Satori
xxx

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Sorry if I'm being boring here - but another thought I wanted to share.

I was up in the mountains on Sunday - expending a lot of effort - long miles of walk in carrying gear - a lot of tough climbing - and then that long walk out again!

Now for all the years I have been doing this type of thing, the end of a day like that was always - lots of cold BEER!

Sunday was the first outing I have had since going completely AF- I came home - opened the fridge and poured out my soda water and lime - and didn't even consider beer as an option / possibility - I was tired and happy, and had all the usual good endorphin stuff going on - without the percieved need for beer to make the day perfect.
I kind of slowly realised it was still perfect just as it was - without the beer .
OMG!!!! It had taken me 20 years to figure THAT out??? D'OH!!!

AND - the added bonus was - monday morning I woke up fresh and ready to tackle another week instead of dragging my hungover body out of bed, stumbling thru the shower etc and into the car at the last possible minute in order to get to work on time.

Even strong associations / triggers are beginning to break down.

Yep - life is certainly changing- and I like it! :H

satori
xxx

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Welcome BabyGirl!! Jump right in as Satori said there was lots of support and loads of good information on the board. If you read the intro, you know that we are a silly group here, you must watch out for Satori in particular, when he's not dispensing great advise he is a real little devil. Chief is a no nonsense kind of a guy, but if you need help he's your man.

The thirty day thread is constantly changing, people come and go and sometimes come for a little while go a way and then come back, it doesn't matter, everyone willing to work toward 30 consecutive days of sobriety is welcome.

Rus- good to hear that you managed your "outlaw" stress, that's the kind of thing that can blindside you.

DB2-Keep piling up that October gold!!

First thing this am I saw my family doctor and discussed topomax with her, she thought it was a great idea and gave me a script for it. Then it was off to the dentist for 1 1/2 hours of "deep cleaning", the good news it that they numb you up pretty well for it, the bad news is you talk like you've either had a stroke or lots of alcohol/drugs. It can be rather inconvenient if you're trying to run errands or talk on the phone, hah. But I'm now unnumb so I need to head off and get those errands done.

July, Hannah, Londoner, FMF, MadisonMay and everyone else have a great AF evening.

[LindZee]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hi fellow Booze Busters,

I'm feeling great on day 30! Hope you all stop in for a um...sparkling water w/lime! I heard a rumor that Sean Connery may stop by (if I can figure out how to get him there).

Satori, loved your ramble and it wasn't the least bit boring! I would call it introspective and reflective.... not self-indulgent. I never tire of hearing how people's lives have changed since they stopped drinking.

Rob, thanks for starting my party thread. Ugh, I'm getting dental flashbacks reading your post. I have spent many many hours in the dental chair getting deep cleanings and ultimately, oral surgery. Now I'm on the quarterly cleaning/checkup plan and as much as I hate it, if it prevents more surgery down the road I'm willing to do it.

Welcome BabyGirl, looking forward to getting to know you.

Hi to Chief, Rustop and DB2 and all to come.

It feels like I should have the day off to celebrate but unfortunately I have to get back to work Have a great day/evening everyone.

LZ - proud to be celebrating 30 AF days today!!

[BabyGirl]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

BoozeBusters is the place to be!

All thank you for the kind welcomes! It is getting close to my "happy hour" I am meeting my boyfriend for dinner -- he does not drink so I will order club soda. I am bringing home a puppy tomorrow ... he will be a buddy to my pug. I am rescuing a toy poodle so training hime will be a good way to "occupy" me... I have spent so many evenings drinking wine that I think my biggest challenge is going to be breaking the habit and the routine that I have established. Any suggestions for change? Good tips?
BabyGirl wants to know!

[indigosky]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hello All,
Hope everyone is doing good. Congratulations to all who are celebrating anniversaries today or recently. I havent had time to check in lately. I will have 30 days AF tomarrow. I'm going to an AA meeting with a neighbor of mine who has a little over a year behind her. It's been a long time since i've been to one of those, hopefully i'll get something out of it. So long......

[Finding My Self]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hello BBBs! (Booze Busting Buddies!) Everyone seems to be doing so well....30 days LZ and Indigo tomorrow!!! Whay!!! And Welcome BabyGirl.... jump on board this crazy but loving thread and you'll soon catch up! It's very good to 'meet' you.

A few things happened to me along the same lines as others today ... my upper back rght molar is really starting to hurt.... I have an appointment with my dentist next week but had no idea how I was going to pay for it... he did a huge root canal (sorreeeee!) early this year which is hanging in there (sic!) and is very good but very costly. (Forget our NHS dental service if you've heard about the fact that we 'should' have one!!! Those in the UK will know hwat I mean! Basically you can't find an NHS dentist with any patient spaces anymore.)

So, was beginning to wonder what I could do...I don't like toothache! But the post came today and one of my credit cards (don't go there!), despite my exceedingly precarious financial state, out of the blue had written to double my credit limit! Not really a windfall but something at least for the moment that means I can get this work done and think about the repayment gradually without pain!

And I went to my Navigation class this evening and watched a man glugging white cider out of the bottle on the bus.... he was looking around with that numbed, e'er so slightly glazed look in his eyes and I felt for him.... I felt the (has-to-said-but-ex-lovely...) numbed out, cushioned from the world, 'safe' place (HA!)and immediately thought, but you'll feel that tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow (The Scottish play there!) you poor man and I, feeling a bit wobbly today, will feel betterin ten minutes, later or tomorrow because the stimulus to drink will pass. Whether the stimulus (pain causing feeling) passes him or not, he's trapped in feeling pissed and wont actually notice if it's gone or not.... I remember that and I felt so glad it has ended.

I just felt a but 'ugh' earier coz I had to re-live in detail (a letter I chose to write today which took me 2.5 hours) the start of my stupid drinking (silly before but I had 6 weeks utterly stupid levels before I stopped 4+ months ago.)(One day at a time BabyGirl!!) But, like I said, it passed very quickly when I went to my class but I'd be sitting here now still stuck in it if I'd had a drink.... Phew!!! And even in the class when I felt slow and stupid with the charts because I couldn't make head nor tail of some of the questions and kept navigating myself the wrong way into a reef.... I stayed with the feeling of being 5 and wanting to cry and go home (silly old bag!) and again it passed.... I am no prof in the field of real emotion such as grief but considering how many of us seemed to drink on the little emotions....? Well, it's very good not to now!!

I've rambled (who me?!) quite enough but hope there's something useful in that lot...

Satori - you're words to me about feelings early on stay with me all the time - they were there this afternoon... I can't put them into words - you'll have to pass your (and the big man's!) pearls of wisdom on again for me.... Mr. Wordsmith! - but the essenceof non-attachment to the emotions ( ) remains as useful to me now as it did 3 months ago - thanks.

Right, love to absolutely everyone and keep going...even a day of not wanting to drink is worth everything. Then thse days build.... it's great!

Hugs :h
FMF xx

[rob]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

WELL LOOK WHO SHOWED UP FOR LINDZEE'S PARTY!!!!

[LindZee]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Ooh ooh ooh...I'm speechless!! :thanks: Rob, I wuv you

Sean's my man, my very first. I had his poster on my bedroom wall when I was 14. And I never got over him:h

Now, please excuse us....:l

[retteacher]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hi Everyone: I read most of this thread. It's fun but a little intimidating. I read your post
Sartori & really found them most helpful. I love being AF. I'm puzzled as to why I still get drinking thoughts. I'll keep reading here & will try to share too. Mary

[july232007]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hello BoozeBusters,

I agree with Satori and the development of the AF brain to go with the AF lifestyle. It takes a little time, but not very much when you think what it has been through.

For me, I think I feared the difference that breaking that Alcohol cycle would bring. But having lived it (10 weeks tomorrow) I agree that it is like being compltely awake for the first time in a long while. Awake and feeling.

I am mindful that many of us here are moderators or thinking of that as they follow a thirty day goal. But for those of us who cannot moderate or feel frustrated by failing at mods., I believe the AF long term goal brings a reward of simple freedom.

Babygirl, goodluck and welcome aboard to your goals and your way out.

LindZee, now I can correctly congratulate you on 30 days AF. GREAT JOB.

July

Day 69 AF.

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

retteacher;203880 wrote: Hi Everyone: I read most of this thread. It's fun but a little intimidating. I read your post
Sartori & really found them most helpful. I love being AF. I'm puzzled as to why I still get drinking thoughts. I'll keep reading here & will try to share too. Mary

Mary

I am pretty sure we still get drinking thoughts because out bodies / minds have become used to strongly associating alcohol with "comfort" or "relaxation" or "feeling good".

Craving "comfort" - ie wanting to experience "good" things and wanting to avoid "bad" things is a fundamental to the human psyche.

When we then go alcohol free - our bodies / minds are still craving that "comfort" we associated with alcohol.
It is just like losing a loved one really - same associations of mind / body apply.

For example - every now and then I still get the odd pang of regret and longing over the loss of an old love if something reminds me of her - and I have been very happily married to my lovely wife for over 20 years, and would never want to change that.

These associations are STRONG.

But - just like the loss of an old love - drinking, for us, is (or should be!!!) in the past, it is somewhere we can't go again.
Attempting to go back to either would be a disaster and would ruin all the good things we have in the present!

The present IS the only reality - we have to relearn / make new associations I guess.

Just my thoughts.

(Listening to my ramblings is not compulsory BTW! It just helps me to put some of this down on paper ....er pixels

Love

Satori
xxx

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Finding My Feet;203767 wrote:
Satori - you're words to me about feelings early on stay with me all the time - they were there this afternoon... I can't put them into words - you'll have to pass your (and the big man's!) pearls of wisdom on again for me.... Mr. Wordsmith! - but the essenceof non-attachment to the emotions ( ) remains as useful to me now as it did 3 months ago - thanks.

Right, love to absolutely everyone and keep going...even a day of not wanting to drink is worth everything. Then thse days build.... it's great!

Hugs :h
FMF xx

FMF,

You don't want to be non-attached to the emotions - it is good to feel joy or love and it is right that we should feel sadness and hurt - they are all part of the human experience - and can NOT be avoided.

What we need to work on is the destructive mental dialogue that goes with them.

For example, it is good to feel joy - but how many of us are simultaneously thinking thoughts like "I don't want this to end" or "this can't last" or "I dont deserve this happiness" while feeling the joy.

All these thoughts are taking away from the joy at that moment, AND are setting us up for "suffering" later, because joy CAN NEVER LAST - that is just how it is!
We should be living in the present, just experiencing the joy for as long as it is there.

When sadness then comes along - and it will - experience that too - WITHOUT the mental dialogue "I hate this" "why me" "this ALWAYS happens to me" "I want to feel happy again"

Do you see what I am saying>

Humans are constantly "suffering" mentally by feeling anxiety that they won't be able to hang on to happy, nice states and are mentally craving the "good times" when things are bad.

It is this constant "craving" for things to be always good when they are good, and better when they are bad that makes us fundamentally anxious / unhappy.

What we need to work on is non-attachment to this flawed idea that things can be good all the time, and that we can avoid the bad - because the nature of things is always change.

Buddha said "this too will pass".

This is getting way too long - but here is one slightly silly example.

Let's see if you recognise any of this!
You are driving somewhere (well - not YOU personally FMF - er..sorry! )
You need to be at a certain place at a certain time and you are cutting it fine.

The traffic light turns red!
Mental processes:
AAAARGH - "this ALWAYS happens - why can't I just get a break now and then - I hate this etc etc (notice the tense tight achey feeling in you tummy as this goes on)

The lights change - off you go.
Mental processes "I HOPE the next light doesn't go to red - please Dog - don't change the lights I really need these lights to stay green.....
(notice anxious tight achey feeling in tummy still there).

Next lights are Green
Mental processes

YAYYYYY - Green!!!!! (achey feeling goes away - until you pass the green light - then it comes back as the mental processes start again) "NOW - I just need the next one to be green - Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let the next one be green etc etc etc.....

The next one is red
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

Etc etc etc -

See what I am saying?
You are anxious, tense (tight crawly tummy feeling) and "craving" nearly all the time - even when things ARE good - you are anticipating that it cant last and craving the next good outcome almost before the good bit is done!

AND - if you think that is bad - here is the punchline!

NONE OF THIS MENTAL ANGUISH WILL EVER HAVE ANY EFFECT ON THE SITUATION.
THE LIGHTS WILL DO WHAT THEY ALWAYS WERE GOING TO DO!

NOW - ZOOM out to the whole of the rest of your life.
And - this same general principle applies to EVERY aspect of our existance.

This is the basis of the Buddha's teaching.

The four noble truths

1) Human existance is characterised by "suffering"
(ie feeling tense, anxious , unhappy nearly all the time)

2) Suffering is caused by "craving"
(ie by always wanting things to be good and wanting things to change when they are "bad")

3) There is a way to end this "suffering"
(Hey - it doesn't always have to be like this!!!)

4) The way is to follow the "eightfold path" - basically the 8 part set of Buddhist practices that Buddha put together to help stop us doing all the things I have been talking about.

I'm afraid that the eightfold path is way beyond the scope of this ramble, and I am not going to try to push this down your throats!

Obviously I would be happy to expound further if anyone is even vaguely interested (by PM or whatever too!)

Hope some of this helps!

Love

Satori

xxx

[maxman]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Im gunna jump in , welcome back satori!

[satori]

BOOZE BUSTERS 30 DAY CHALLENGE NEW THREAD 10/1

Hi Max!

Hey - this is great - I was only away for a week!

You in for the 30 days too?

Cool!

Satori