It's very early Sunday morning, but I couldn't sleep. We went to a dinner party, & I'm happy to report I stayed AF. I learned from my slip on Friday that it just isn't worth it to spoil a nice AF streak & my peace-of-mind w/alcohol. I really want an AF lifestyle so much & will work very hard for it.
Because I had my wits about me during the dinner, I noticed that the guests had between 2 - 4 drinks over a 4 hour period. There is no way I would have been satisfied w/that. I drank to get high...not to enjoy the taste of a good scotch or wine. I can see why I should adopt an AF commitment. I will never be satisfied w/moderate amounts of alcohol. I'll always want to abuse it. I'll always want to drink alcoholically.
Looking back on the few slips I've had since the middle of July, I again must ask myself why I do it. I know the reasons are complex & varied. I can think about the reasons but must just keep reminding myself of how wonderful I feel when I don't give in & how rotten I feel when I do give in. I feel great right now & had a really nice time at the dinner sober. In spite of the few slips I've had over the past few months, I've made great progress wholly because of my involvement w/MWO. I could never, ever had done this wo/all of you. Thank you everyone, Mary
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