Sunday, Oct. 7th

[retteacher]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Chief: I know you are right. I know I'm an alcoholic. I'll never drink like a normal person. Thank you so much for being straight w/me. Mary
PS: Do you keep any alcohol in your home?

[retteacher]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Chief: I'm a ponderer & a thinker, & I don't take anything you say lightly. I said a long time ago that I'm an alcoholic drinker. I have no "off" switch. When I do slip, it's because I feel that life overcomes me, & I feel I need a break. I don't have any romantic notions about being able to sip a glass of champagne or wine. That is not the way it is w/me. I'm trying very hard to learn to live life AF wo/any kind of buffer (which was the purpose of alcohol in my life). I also must, must, must be able to come back to MWO & say that I slipped & I'm starting again. Perhaps, I don't have your strength & resolve. It's very possible that yesterday was the first day of my AF life. I only know all I can do is put one foot in front of the other & keep trying. I cannot do it wo/MWO. I tried that already. However, I don't harbor any illusions about the kind of drinker I am.

I love success stories like yours. I feel quite confidently that I'm going to be there soon. Mary

[Breez]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Hello All-

Yup-as busy as I am I'm making an effort to at least say hi! I miss this place when I can't log on!

I, too, came to the realization that under no circumstances can I drink normally. Sure, tried the mods thing & that could last a month but eventually all that "effort" to keep my drinking within normal range just drives me to eventually drink. And when I did drink-I'd drink to the point where I'd loose days. Then the aftermath-oye! Even now with all these months under my belt I still have to be aware of my triggers (stress and the phony in laws). I found that out the hard way when I put too much on my plate in month 7. Lately I've been very busy but have kept my stress level down. Hubby is still worried because of my last mistake & each time he sees that I need to run errands and I'm a bit unnerved he always says "hon-no pit stops pls". No problem-I know the repurcussions now.

Mary-we do not keep booze in the house. Partly because hubby will not allow it since he wants me to succeed. Out of sight-out of mind. I agree.

Like Chief said-I embrace each AF day. Hang in there. Something eventually clicks and then it's enough is enough.


Well-I'm off to continue decorating our house into our annual "Haunted House" theme. Doing the grave yard is such a pain this yr since the ground is so dry (haven't had rain in gosh knows how long). Then run to grocery store to make a yummy pasta dinner.

Have a great evening everyone!

[slightlysuze]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Mary...good thing that you come back and want to start again. :goodjob:

What ways do you have to cope with stress triggers? When I was on my 40 days AF I had things I said to myself to keep me on track. When a trigger happened I would say something like.....'this moment is passing...let it pass' and also 'alcohol will only make this worse. do I want worse?'. Sometimes I would say it over and over - it did help, puny though it sounds!

The other thing I would confirm that I've seen elsewhere on MWO is regular drinking MAKES me anxious and panicky, it doesn't relieve it. I coped with everything much better AF (after the initial 7-10 days).

I slipped this evening too.....not too badly, and I'm sober now....but it makes me realise that I must go (and stay) Abs. Be strong, Mary....you can beat this thing.

Big Hug XX

Suze x

[Chief]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Hi Mary, No, I don't keep alcohol in the house. When we have people over for dinner or a picnic they can bring their own if they like. Once people know you don't drink, it seems they don't want to drink as much either. Funny how that works.
You say you know you are an alcoholic and have no "off" switch and you drink when life overcomes you and you need a break. Then you feel terrible, remorseful, and guilty about it. How is that getting a break or being a buffer? It seems to me that just creates more stress for you.. Maybe you could make a new buffer like taking a walk or exercising when you feel like life is overcoming you.
Of course you should keep coming back to MWO and say that you slipped and are starting over. That's one of the reasons it's successful. Another is the ability of others to convey to those who are struggling that there is a way out, a way to stop the vicious cycle of drinking and stopping.
You say that perhaps you don't have my strength and resolve. Nonsense. If that's not the Beast talking I don't know what is, Mary.
You were a success story like mine. Let's get you back there where you belong. If I can do it, you can do it again..

I'm on your side...really,

Don

[Guest]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Mary.........I`m another one with no booze kept in the house ever........it really is the easiest way forward.

Starlight Impress x

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Anyone who can stay sober and have booze in the house has my undying admiration. There is no booze in my house. The only exception is when I am using it to cook something, in which case I buy it the day I'm cooking, I cook, and whatever is left over goes down the drain immediately. I do this on autopilot. I won't even let myself think of having any.

I could NEVER survive AF with having booze in the house regularly. Well, perhaps I could, if it were beer!:H I hate beer, but I'd drink pretty much anything else. On second though, I'd probably even drink beer. So scratch that!

I find that no booze in the house is really the best way.

I'm on a cleaning spree this weekend, so back to work.

Lots of love,:h
Kathy

[july232007]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Mary,

I agree with what others have said. No booze in house. Find something ahead of the stressors to head it off: exerxise, walk, a hot shower. And develop an understanding with yourself that enough is enough and that you have chosen to be AF.

Try writing out two draft posts. One entited, I slipped last night and one entitled Another night AF. Which one is the one you want to live?

Mary good luck and know that I do care for your AF success.

July

Day 73 AF

[Paddy]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

I so agree what everyone has said. The only alcohol in my house is the alcohol in my cologne bottles, and thanks God, I haven't been as desperate yet to drink THAT! Ha ha.

No, but, Don, you're right. It's important to realize that we are alcoholics, or at least problem drinkers. And this nostalgic thinking of sitting back and enjoying a glass of wine, just doesn't work with us. We'll fall right back. We can't stop and spiral back. That's just how the cookie crumbles. And no matter how strong we feel after a couple of weeks and months AF, and we want to give alcohol a try, just to see whether we can manage moderation WE WILL FAIL.

We're just fooling ourselves into believing that we can be like other people, while we're not. Of course, that being so because of many reasons. Call it predisposition, coming from a family of alcoholics (like I have). I know many people will dispute this theory. But, I honestly believe it to be true. I mean, how can you NOT be predisposed of becoming a drinker when your folks have been on the sauce?!

Anyway, it's good to have a good bunch of people on MWO to sound things out. People that have been, and are still going through the same battle.

Hang in there folks.

[tawnyfrog]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Paddy - catching the Oz News tonight - Floods in 'Nam look bad. You and your friends ok????

[Cinders]

Sunday, Oct. 7th

Mary,

I think Don is simply trying to tell you -- and the rest of us that slip from time to time -- that until we know absolutely that a drink, one single drink, is NOT an option, we will be struggling forever.

I agree with what he says, however, like you I am not quite there yet. The Beast tries to hijack me and sometimes gets pretty darn close!!

I had wine in the house last night. I veered clear of it and as the kids were leaving, I made them take it. (They brought it, I refuse to buy it because I know I will cave if it is here.)

If they hadn't taken it, though, my husband would have poured it down the sink for me.

We will get there, Mary. You and I. I try backsassing the Beast, ignoring the Beast and browbeating the Beast. One day she will be weaker than me and I will always win.

Never, ever think you should not come back here when you slip!! You hear me?? I would be devastated!! You are one of my heroes. You are one of the inspirations that has led me to try for the whole month of October.

Think of how much sober time you have had compared to this time last year. You are doing GREAT and so am I.

I am positive we will get to that place that Don speaks of, where a drink is simply not an option.

Love,
Cindi