Today I spent the day w/my husband, grandsons, & puppy. We really had a great day & alcohol was the farthest thing from my mind. As I've been thinking about it later on, I had the sudden thought that this day would not have been possible if I was drinking or hungover. I cannot be truly happy & in the present moment (the way I was today) if I'm drinking. That is a truism for me.
I spent a lot of years drinking to get that temporary high I used to experience from the first glass or two. I was looking to blunt those sharp edges of life & run away from uncomfortable situations & feelings. Of course, being an alcoholic, I didn't stop w/one or two. "If I feel good now, a few more drinks will make me feel better."
After years of drinking, the temporary high became a thing of the past. I was drinking to get drunk. It tainted all the wonderful things I have in my life. Today's experience of just being in the moment w/the people I love most in the world made me realize that I have to be AF in order to really be happy. I have to get rid of the fantasy that drinking can add anything beneficial to my life.
I know that life can be messy. I love my husband, but we have plenty of differences. My grown childrens' lives are in a constant state of change. However, I can go through the rough patches wo/having to numb out. I can build relationships that are based on honesty & openness.
MWO is an intricate part of my recovery. It's so mysterious to me that cyber-communicating with other people who are struggling w/the same problem can be so life-changing.
I feel that my mind has shifted in some way today. I think I realize that I don't have a chance at real happiness (the type I experienced today) until I completely embrace an AF lifestyle. I'll do whatever it takes! Mary
I spent a lot of years drinking to get that temporary high I used to experience from the first glass or two. I was looking to blunt those sharp edges of life & run away from uncomfortable situations & feelings. Of course, being an alcoholic, I didn't stop w/one or two. "If I feel good now, a few more drinks will make me feel better."
After years of drinking, the temporary high became a thing of the past. I was drinking to get drunk. It tainted all the wonderful things I have in my life. Today's experience of just being in the moment w/the people I love most in the world made me realize that I have to be AF in order to really be happy. I have to get rid of the fantasy that drinking can add anything beneficial to my life.
I know that life can be messy. I love my husband, but we have plenty of differences. My grown childrens' lives are in a constant state of change. However, I can go through the rough patches wo/having to numb out. I can build relationships that are based on honesty & openness.
MWO is an intricate part of my recovery. It's so mysterious to me that cyber-communicating with other people who are struggling w/the same problem can be so life-changing.
I feel that my mind has shifted in some way today. I think I realize that I don't have a chance at real happiness (the type I experienced today) until I completely embrace an AF lifestyle. I'll do whatever it takes! Mary
c: :heart:
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