Wednesday, Oct. 10th

[july232007]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Well it as been a full and varied October 10 for MWO posters.

I enjoy reading the posts and get so much from the different points of view and shared perspectives.

Nights like tonight I have nothing really to add, except to say: I'm glad I'm along for the journey with this wonderful bunch and good luck tomorrow in your MWO goals.

July

Day 76 AF

[Cinders]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Satori,

Yes, I agree with Mary. We will NEVER achieve Nirvana.

Your wife was lashing out because she was not in the "role" she was used to.

Let it roll off your back.

She absolutely cannot give you the kudos you are due. She has lived through too much. (see echome's posts if you wonder...)

However, shee is also feeling "guilty" because suddenly you are the "go to guy" for the drive home. :H

You have done brilliantly and continue to do so.

Take your kudos from us.. they people who know what the helllll that really means.. and do not get angry with your wife because she does not understand.

We ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU..

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

lisa3102;206979 wrote: The bad side is .. if I win at quitting...no one will know but me. All the support here has been enough for me. And Breez, again, you said it, it is my fight and I have to do this for me.
There are so many layers to this 'recovery' we are all going thru.

Sorry...went off on a tangent ...
Actually, I am having a pretty darned good day. Not getting a lot of work done at work but that's ok.

:l
Lisa

Lisa,

How true this is. My hubby cannot and will not ever be able to understand what being abstinent means to me. (he is abstienent because drinking means absolutely nothing to him either way..)

Let's support each other...
Cindi

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Hi All,

I'm checking in pretty late, so I can't say hi to everyone, but I did want to say to FMF that just because your parents are secretive, it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't thinking of you. I hope things have a happy ending in your family though. Secretive people drive me crazy!

Satori, I'm sorry about your wife's words. It's hard to understand what was motivating her. At any rate, I hope everyone here has rubbed a little balm on the wound!:l I think that Dx's perspective is very helpful too.

Hi to everyone else as well. Sorry that I'm not naming everyone by name here. I had a lousy night's sleep last night and a very busy day today, between my clients and the torture that they call physical therapy. It is interesting though, and I am improving a great deal already. I'm doing my exercises like a good girl too.

So good nite, if anyone actually reads this!:H

Hugs,:l
Kathy

[Determinator]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

hey Kathy, I read it for sure...here in my Oakland CA hotel room for the night.

[Hannah]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Kathy - If you check back in, I did read your post! Seems I am the night owl of the boards, what with the time zones, and me naturally being a night owl, often seem to be the last post of the evening. Hope you have a good sleep, good night all!

[satori]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Hey Guys - this thread seems to have turned into one about me!

Thanks for all the comments - but it was not a big deal really - I just mometarily felt "ouch" but then - like the good little buddhist that I am - I recognised that it hurt - and let it go - life is too short!

I was posting more because I was really just wondering a) why it hurt and b) what her motivation was.

I AM getting the feeling of a bit of an undercurrent of "resentment" occasionally.
But I am not sure why.
It may be that I am able to be out of the house more in the evenings than when I was drinking - so she may be getting annoyed that I am not around so much.

Perhaps as Chief said - It was her "Beast" trying to justify her own drinking / trying to plant seeds of doubt so I would go back to drinking and make her feel better about her drinking.

Chief - Congratiulations on 60 days! - Sorry I mised that!
Glad you are feeling so good - have to admit it IS awesome being sober - isn't it?

It could be that she is feeling less "needed" as driver, general "sorter outer" for the family etc.

Who knows?

Anyway - it is a complicated problem this drinking lark!
I expected only good things to come out of quitting drinking - but it hadn't occurred to me that there might be some negative "colateral damage" too.
Hopefully it is minor!

FMF - Parents ARE difficult arent they? (But I have to admit that yours would drive me to distraction too!)
I'm not sure how best to deal with it - I think you kind of have to just go with the flow though - and accept the outcome - it IS their lives after all!

It must be difficult for parents when the "kids" start trying to tell them how to live their lives - even if we are doing it for the right reasons.

Anyway - best go get some work done here.

See ya

Love

Satori
xxx

[Finding My Self]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Thaks Satori - as ever! Yes, I'm just going to 'go with the flow' as it IS their lives. And try to remember that just because they appear to treat me without trust or respect that doesn't mean I am not trustworthy or respectable... (But thanks for saying that about ''distraction'! I'm glad it's not all me!!)

Glad you're feeling better about SWMBO... looks like you've got all the available jigsaw pieces...just going with your flow to see if/when any of them fit I guess! I have to agree that even if D was still around I wouldn't be seeing much of him now I am doing so much! (Altough I would happily compromise!) It's great isn't it to have so much choice now...
(Loved 'collateral damge'....!)
Love to all
FMF xx

[tea]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

Hi all, great thread. Satori you are a star 'felt the ouch and let it go', loved it. I have been reading back through old threads and realising just how far I have come, been feeling a bit down but this has really bucked me up so I recommend anyone feeling that they will never get 'better' to do that, and on we go eh.

L

[satori]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

LOL Tea - you wouldn't think I was a star on Tuesday when I was at the swimming pool!

I have been practicing buddhism for 12 years or so - and should be able to "feel the ouch (or see the anger rising) and let it go" pretty well by now.

But I was at the pool with another friend who is also training for a triathlon next year.

I can swim reasonably well as can my friend - so we went into the fast lane.
Well there was one other guy in there criusing up and down really slowly - and no matter how many times we came up behind him he just kept on cruising - didn't let us through at the end of the length and so on.

After 30 minutes of this I was not at all "letting it go" I was well 'kin pissed off!
Luckily he decided to leave before I did something unspeakable with a pair of goggles.
The worst bit of it all was - I did see the anger and DID drop it - about 5 times - it just kept coming back, and off my mind would go again plotting my goggle insertion therapy for him!

I think it will be a lifetime's work! :H

Love

Satori

xxx

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, Oct. 10th

This has turned into quite a thread! Yes, Satori, today it was all about YOU my dear. You deserve it, though. It is interesting how quitting the sauce can turn up some unexpected emotions or problems in our partners or friends. They are expecting sobriety to be one thing, but it turns out another. Everyone likes to think that sobriety is the answer, but it's just the beginning!

Anyway, a big HI! to Deter, Deb, Cindi, FMF, July, and Tea!

How's your trip going Deter?

XOXOX