Tues. - Oct. 16

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I'm doing well. I haven't been feeling the need to run away from myself w/drinking. We're in a spell of not socializing w/alcohol. Saturday is a birthday party, but it's a kids' party & there won't be any booze. It's a good thing to have a break from any kind of temptation. There's no open booze in the house, so I feel pretty confident. Hope everyone out there is well. Mary

[Cinders]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Mary,

Glad this weekend is going by without the temptations of last. The longer you can keep unopened booze or no booze in the house the better!!

My Sundays are so difficult for me, other days not. That family day on Sunday is a huge trigger. Luckily, I have been able to tell my family members what I am doing, so they try very hard to support me.

All other absters, have a wonderful day.

Love,
Cindi

[slightlysuze]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Hi Mary

Sounds like a good weekend coming up for you...lots of birthday cake, yummy!

Cindi....great that your family are supporting you.

My husband is a moderate drinker - no probs with it at all - and I find I'm even fixing drinks for him when he wants one........it's very, very weird but it seems to help me. I think it's because I see him drink it, then it's gone and that's it...it reminds me that I would drink 3 to his one and regret it. I know it wouldn't work for everyone, but it's ok for me. Maybe I need to get my head examined??

Have a good Tuesday everyone.

Suze x

[retteacher]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Hi Everyone to Come:

I just reread yesterday's daily thread. Cindi, thank you for sharing some of the things Craig F. spoke about. I know that if I took even one drink, I would be right back to where I was...drinking heavily 3 - 4 times per week. For me, drinking is about getting drunk. It's not about socializing or loosening up. So, if I decide to drink, I can't kid myself into thinking I'll only have one drink in order to relax. I haven't done that in many a year. I have been asking myself why I felt I needed to escape from myself & from the world. For now, I'm taking each difficult incident as it comes & dealing w/it the best way I know how. I know my husband has seen a difference...I'm a little more assertive. I know my basic personality isn't going to completely change, but I must make enough changes to keep me from seeking relief w/the bottle. So far, I've been pretty successful.

I agree that I need MWO & the discussions & honesty here. The reason I haven't been successful up until this point is that I haven't been open about this w/anyone. Also, everyone here is struggling w/the same problem. Helping & being helped has been my savior. Thank you everyone for being here. Cindi, a particular thank-you goes out to you. So much of what you say rings true for me. Take care of yourself & your sobriety. I'm right behind you. I just put my 10th zero into DrinkTracker. Love you, Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Good morning abbers!

I had a job interview yesterday and it went well. I am hoping to hear back from them either way within a day or two. Feeling pretty optimistic. It is more in my line of work, as I have been either doing accounting or human resources. I am more of a human resources person and this position is for that. I am so sick and tired of accounting. I find it bores the crapola out of me. I really dislike adjusting entries the most. Actually I dislike month end even more ;-). So, I have been applying for those jobs that I know I will enjoy.

I had a major craving for wine last night. It kind of came out of no-where's ville. Funny, I haven't had an inkling of a craving for a few months now, and whammo! It was a toughy - was very difficult to shake but I did. Even after almost 10 months I still have to remain aware and guarded. It was kind of surreal. I could actually feel drool come out of my mouth at the thought - too funny!

You guys are all doing great! Keep atter!

Hello to all the rest to come. It looks like there will be a break in the rain this AM as I see the sun coming up right now. So I am going to take the little one out for a bit in a little while.

[retteacher]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Accountable: I'm so glad you shared about the craving after 10 months. I wonder what triggered it. How did you get rid of it? I don't have nearly as much sobriety as you have...only 10 days. However, since I came here in April, I've had more success than I've had in years. I have given in to the cravings a few times & really want to avoid that in the future. I cannot do mod, because I have a major addiction to alcohol. When I drink, I drink to get drunk. So far in this latest sober stint I'm in, I've only had the fleeting drinking thought (usually when I'm very tired), & I've been able to replace that thought w/other thoughts of myself in my absolute worst drunken times. That seems to do the trick for me. Any suggestions for a longer-term abber would be greatly appreciated. Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Mary, I am not sure where it came from. Honestly it popped out of no where. I am not feeling stressed although there is a lot going on here, but nothing that would make me want to drink. Nothing p'd me off, nothing to trigger. It absolutely came out of no where. I ate as usual, took my vitamins... nothing different in my routine.

It honestly came out of no where. So, I guess you don't necessarily need a trigger... something to think about.

After I had dinner I was still craving so I packed up the little one and went to the Supermarket and we walked around. (We are fortunate to not have liquor in our supermarkets or convenience stores here). She is 2.5 now and likes to help push the cart, so we spent an hour and a half walking around the isles. That took care of it.

But, like I said it was really weird. Like I could taste it and I could see myself drinking it. Very scary! At least I know now that it can pop up at anytime and without a warning.

My advise is to be aware... It was the first craving I had since July. July I was under a lot of stress from my previous employment, so I know that set it off.

You are doing great, BTW. I would never, ever, ever have come this far without this site. I was chronic in all sense of the word. I drank to get drunk too..... there was NO middle ground for me. If I could be blottoed daily, I would of been.

[rustop61]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Hi Fellow Abbers

Mary, enjoy your birthday party at the week-end, you are doing great.

Cindi, hope you are feeling a little better.

Suze, I'm in the same boat as you regarding hubby. I even pour the wine for him. Most of the time it does not bother me. As I have said before I am the one with the problem, not him. I did have major cravings/thoughts of pouring a drink last night and used the l-glut for the first time. It did the trick. I was really busy and did slack off on the supplements so maybe that was the reason.

AFM good luck with the job. Thanks for sharing about the cravings coming after 10 months. It make those of us coming after you more aware that we need to be constantly vigalent.

Rustop

[Breez]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Morning All-

poking my head in.

I'm so depressed. I'm thinking of quiting my job. I called in sick today(the black eye). Hubby & I talked-he feels I need to find myself. Seems all I do is dissapoint important people in my life.

Sorry to be such a downer in this thread but I guess I want a kind word.

Have a great AF day.

[Cinders]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Breez,

What black eye?

It sure sounds like your hubby is standing by your side. How good is that?

I am sorry you are down. :l

Pamper yourself today and think about what you want.

I am not sure about your job and why you don't like it but if you don't, find something else. It is hard to do all day something you don't enjoy.

Take care,
Hugs,
Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Breez, you are not being a downer. Sorry about the black eye as well. I hope it goes away very soon for you.

One thing I have noticed since quitting drinking is when I went back to work several months back I wasn't ready. I hadn't quite adjusted to life being sober and all of the chemistry changes that were happening as a result. I didn't have any sense as to who the he*l I was!!! I crashed and burned at the end of July because I wasn't ready, and honestly besides having a shitty job (I know yours, you enjoy) I had no coping skills. I needed these additional 2.5 months to really get some balance back in the brain.

Honestly I am not quite there yet, as in being ready to work, but with each month I am getting closer. I have to partake in the financial responsibility now as hubby has to have surgery in the near future or else I would take a bit more time to really ensure I was ready.

You are very lucky to have your hubby's support. You will have to figure out what you need, and then go from there. **MANY HUGS**

[Breez]

Tues. - Oct. 16

DB-my son "boofed" my eye brow(funny playing-changing him) & I never got a black eye. It looks horrible.:l back. Thank you. I needed that.

AFM-:l :l You know how hard things are. Thank you for your kind words. I'm blessed to say "you are my friend" from day 1.

[Determinator]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Quick stop here with you loverly ABeroooonies !

Breeze, sorry you're down...glad you are taking some time for contemplation. it's not often you find a job you love but when you do it's so very worth it.

congrads AFM on the interview

gotta run,

be well everyone

[Finding My Self]

Tues. - Oct. 16

Quick drop in from me too - but Breez, love....aw. I'm sorry you're having a downer....they happen and I wonder if we don't feel them more because in the past we'd have drunk on them or they'd have been less noticeable because of the booze...? And now, not only are they horrible but they have added fear of 'will I drink? Oooh heck...scared...I want this feelnig to go away NOW so I don't...' Well, that's how I sometimes see it....

But they pass - keep busy gently.... just busy enough to stay out of the mire...watching comedians helps me! I have about 20 videos and DVDs!!! And listening to every single word on the radio closely - not so as to react but just 'hear' it; shuts out my neggy inner talk!

Don't know if that'll help any - but a big hug from me to you....I hope the bubbly, tadfrog Breez is back soon...FOR YOU! I'm sure she will be...hang in there. As the tide goes in and out, so do our moods...the night is long that never finds the day.

Love to all...FMF xx

[slightlysuze]

Tues. - Oct. 16

:l for you Breez. Hope the down feelings are beginning to lift.

Did you have some arnica for your eye boof? It really seems to help...might be good to have some around with your little 'kicker'!

Best wishes for tomorrow being better.

Suze x