The Inn for 30 - Thursday, October 25th

[maxman]

The Inn for 30 - Thursday, October 25th

gday, had a rough couple of days, stress being a major factor , sorry I didnt make the party went to see the doc and I am now back on the anti deps, feeling better already, stayed af throughout when I normally would have gone directly to al, I think I am getting somewhere

[Cinders]

The Inn for 30 - Thursday, October 25th

Max,

That is awesome. It is so difficult to deal with anxiety and/or depression without Al because we have used him so long to help with it.

You must truly be making great headway.

Very proud of you.

Love,
Cindi

[Finding My Self]

The Inn for 30 - Thursday, October 25th

Max! BRILL MATE!!! FMF xx

(BTW - glad you're feeling better - feeling low sucks.)

[wonderworld]

The Inn for 30 - Thursday, October 25th

Hi All-

It's been just the worst 24 hours. The story with my sister just kept getting worse with each phone call. The calls weren't from her, but from my Mom and BIL. She is going to leave her husband and children, who are 6 and 7 (he is pretty much already their primary caretaker). She has it all worked out in her head (in such a crazy way). So there were calls all day from a devastated and confused BIL (who is such a decent guy), and Mom who lives alone and is up there in years and so upset and afraid. Sister hasn't talked to me. I have lots of ideas why - mostly I think there's just too much emotion for her in that and it would make it all too 'real' if that makes any sense. The childhood we shared was very difficult and she's never gotten any much-needed help to work through it.

Anyway, by the time 8 o'clock rolled around I had a drink. Wasn't like a craving or anything, I used it as a sedative. If I had had a pill I would have taken it instead. So I'm back to day 1. And I think I'm okay in that sense. I have no intention of continuing to drink - have no desire to. At least at the moment. Would just make things harder in the long run. and I like being AF. It would be useless to turn this all over to AL.

Sorry to be so heavy on our usually light-hearted thread. This all just came out of the blue yesterday and since I've been here so much lately, and loving every one of you, I wanted to get it off my chest and just tell about it. And share that I'm day 1 AF and want to keep going that way with your help. I'm tired, sad and have a terrible headache which I think is more from crying than anything else.

As far as my day here at the Inn - I wonder if there is a spychotherapist on staff? And any kind of spiritual advisor? (no matter what religion - just a soothing gentle elder). And maybe a staff member or guest with a blackbelt in Al-anon? I would like to spend a couple of hours with each of them today. My heart is broken. Need some time to recover. And I really don't feel like eating, so could I have a smoothie or vegetable juice sent to my room every couple hours? And maybe some soup. And hugs. And animals - cats and dogs like the ones they take to Nursing Homes for therapeutic snuggling. Good to know that even in this weakened state I can be so demanding.......

I'll be shuffling around the Inn in a haze most of the day. If I bump into you (literally), please give me a hug and point me back to my room.

luv, wonder xxxx