Tuesday - Oct. 30

[retteacher]

Everyone: The month is winding down. I feel pretty proud of the progress I made this month (all zeros in DrinkTracker except for Oct. 5th). I must admit to looking forward to next month, because I want an entirely AF month of Nov.

I've been feeling extremely grateful to MWO & just can't help expressing it every day. I was truly in dire straits before I came here. It hasn't been easy, & I've had my stumbles along the way, but I'm sober today.

Mary

[Breez]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Morning Mary & all to come~

Well...I'm done with my pity party. I quit my job last week. Working with 7 bitchy women who do nothing but complain, back stab & roll their eyes at each other & complain to me about their problems with each other as well as their home life would eventually lead me to drink. I know it. I got my own problems-I don't need more on my plate. I loved the work-didn't care for the people nor the environment. I was lowest schmuck on totem pole there & always felt I didn't belong. I know I disappointed my hubby & parents by quiting this job but for my own sober sanity it needed to be done. They just don't understand. And I have cried over making this decision-I even had a drink over it. There-that was the end of my pity party. Onward & upward. Another good thing out of this-I get to spend more time here & look forward to another new chapter in my life.

Congrats Mary-you sound so good.


Have a great AF day everyone!

[rustop61]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Hi Mary, Breeze and all to come

You are right Breeze, take no notice of what anyone else says. You have to put yourself first sometimes and this is obviously one of those times. A new month is about to begin and as you say another new chapter in all our lives. Here's to an AF November.

Rustop

[Sante]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Hi Mary, Breeze, and Rustop,

I recently "left" my job, too. Actually, I was "severed" -- the not-so-subtle way US corporations put it when they acquire and then downsize their employee base. I'm not too upset to be leaving (they make it worth my while) but I'm having a horrible time adjusting to not working.

Mary, I believe you retired last Spring and used it as an impetous to "reform". How was your adjustment to leaving the workforce? I have tons of things to do and lots of interests: I just seem to be in a funk most of the time and generally stalled.

Thanks for letting me join this thread,

Sante

[retteacher]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Everyone: I'm working on a baby quilt for one of my husband's students. On the way home from an errand this morning, I passed one of my stand-by liquor stores & for a nano-second, I thought, "Maybe, I'll sip & sew on the quilt today." Needless to say, I drove right by the store wo/stopping.

While I was working on the quilt (sober) a little while ago, I thought about all the times I've sipped wine while sewing. Why did I think it would make sewing more fun? Did drinking make me irrational as well as drunk? The frustration of mistakes: ripped stitches, misplaced scizzors, etc. was awful. After a while, I couldn't even thread a needle.

I'm amazed now by all the things I did while drinking, thinking it would be more enjoyable. Cooking, babysitting, going to plays or movies, the list goes on & on. I had to push myself through all of these activities after a few drinks, concentrating hard on acting normal. I still shake my head as to why I did that to myself.

Thanks for listening. Mary

[Bookish]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Mary,

I can so relate. Right now, only on my 2nd AF day and I am thinking, how will I decorate the Christmas Tree sober, what about Thanksgiving dinner. How can I cook all day without Champagne. As it is, I did cut outs for crafts on Saturday for my youngest's Halloween party at school while I was sipping wine. I know I drink at home due to the what I perceive as boredom from the day to day routines. I know there must be happiness to be found in doing these things without the booze, but it's all messed up in my mind.

Laura

[retteacher]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Laura: We've definitely messed up our minds (as you so accurately put it). I'm just starting to replace those drinking habits w/new sober ones. I try to remember that I never stop at 1, 2, or even 3. I always went way overboard, & consequently I ended up losing all enjoyment of the activities you mentioned. I can't count the number of times I pushed myself through holiday meals (feeling ill & headachy), because I had tipped the balance & over-imbibed. I can't count the number of activities that were ruined, because I couldn't concentrate or had to be hyper-vigilant to prevent myself from being embarrassed (slurring, stumbling etc.). It takes a while for our brains to readjust, but I'm working on it. Good luck, Mary

[Janice]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Breez - I can relate to the work issue - what is it about a group of women working together?? Over the last couple of years we have had a group like that and thankfully one by one they have left for whatever reason but there is one or two still there who take any chance they get to talk about someone or something and it is never good. I have been so tempted to leave because it just drags you down but I'm hanging in there, don't know how long for though!! You did the right thing, you have to put yourself first.

Janicexxx

[Breez]

Tuesday - Oct. 30

Thanks Janice-

The nurse supervisor-who was the main reason I left because she was hated by all her subordinates and I caught her rolling her eyes at everyone(so she must have at me as well) & always playing on her pc-had the Director's assistant call me yesterday to ask for my password in order to see the work I worked on. I didn't work on anything-so there is no reason for her to need my password. She is very "high & mighty" & very nosey. The reason she wants it is to get into my files & my e-mail. The secretary told me she often logs into her pc & reads her e-mail & once caught her. My "old" desk & the secretary's was out in the open with 2 chairs next to the wall. She would eat her lunch with us so she could hear our conversations/what we did/during our lunch. I could not even have a private lunch at my own desk.

So I'm trying to get a hold of my friend (who helped get me the job) & have her log on as me & delete all my e-mails before I give them my password. I don't have anything but when SHE opens it I want her to see nothing. I had sent them my resignation letter along with key/cards & they still have not received them as of yesterday. LOL-watch, I probably didn't put enough postage on it. Serves them right. So I said I'd e-mail the letter & my password-but I think I'll leave out a letter out of my password for spite & see how often they bother me to get it since they really do not need it.