My Changes

[retteacher]

I often have a "walking meditation" when I walk the dog. Today, I contemplated the changes I've made since I've committed to an AF life. I'm only 29 days into it, but I see life so differently. Here they are in order of preference:
1. No guilt & shame: I'm not hiding & sneaking drinks anymore.
2. No isolation & loneliness: I've rejoined the human race (w/all my faults & foibles).
3. No drinking fears: "What the heck did I do or say last night?"
4. I can be open & honest, as needed: No residual guilt holding me back.
5. I'm more productive but less frenetic: I'm not squeezing chores & projects in w/the drinking.
6. I can drive w/confidence again: Even when I wasn't under the influence, I lost my confidence behind the wheel.
7. I regained my spontaneity: I don't have to worry about "staying home" because I've been drinking.
8. I'm more confident in my ability to cope w/life: I'm learning to work through messes wo/booze.
I'm sure there are more. Even if you've had a short time AF, what are your changes? I find it so rewarding to see how peoples' lives have changed by taking AF or mod into their lives. I know for sure I don't want to let anything jeopardize that. Again, I could never, ever have done this wo/all of my dear, dear friends at MWO. Love, Mary

[Hannah]

My Changes

- No hangovers
- No horrible furry mouth, bad taste in mouth all day
- No fear that other people can "smell" that your were drinking last inight
- No driving to work in the a.m. wondering if you were stopped, would you be legal?
- No having to perform tasks at work that take concentration that you just don't have
- No "booze" weight
- Much more $ in pocket
- Neighbours can pop over anytime and not see that you are drinking alone
- No taking untill well in the afternoon to be "functional" and only being "functional" in that narrow window of time between then and the next drink.

And there's more, for sure. I also realize that I couldn't have done this without the help of all my MWO friends. Just wouldn't have. So thanks, all, so very much.

[retteacher]

My Changes

Deb: Ditto all of yours for me. I don't want to ever forget or take for granted that the quality of my life has completely changed. I said this last week in a thread (& I had seen others say this): I'm not giving up anything...I'm getting my life back. Love, Mary

[rob]

My Changes

Mary and Deb

These are wonderful. We should all print them out "in case of emergency"

[weemelonhead]

My Changes

1)No terror sitting on morning bus and at work trying not to breathe/covering myself with essential oils to mask the smell of the night before...
2)the knowledge that I haven't:
a...wet the bed...(I know, quite gross, and also a frequent occurence I'm disgusted to say)
b...physically attacked anybody
c...made promises to friends and family that I have no knowledge of whatsoever
d...made an ass of myself in front of everybody in the town by behaving atrociously in bars and clubs and being kicked out
3)The freedom to go to social events knowing that I will be sober all night long and won't act like a dick in front of work colleagues, friends, partners boss etc
4) A healthy body (I'm getting there!!!)
5) A much healthier mind....I have a very different approach to stress and supposed problems in my life now...I find it much easier to just be, instead of wishing things were better/different...I am faaaarrr happier and prouder of the sober me, and this reflects absolutely on my level of contentment with the simple things...It really doesn't take much to make me happy or to find joy these days.
6) Knowing I will never embarrass my daughter through drink again...no vomit on the sofa for her to find when she comes home with her friends...no mom staggering around being 'FUN'....read:abusive....with her and her friends....no strange men ever being brought into the house for her to meet in the morning after a club bender.....(god the shame...I behaved like an absolute slut, with no regard for my or her safety.....I hated myself terribly)
7)The pride of my mum...she is sooo over the moon that her daughters life will not be brought to an untimely end through booze in whatever way that might have taken place....she cannot tell me enough how thrilled she is both for me and her
8) No background feeling of 'I want to be dead' every day.....I didn't really want to commit suicide, I just despised and loathed myself and my behaviour so much...I always hoped that I would die .........

These are in no particular order...neither are they a full list of all the gratitudes I rejoice in on a daily basis...there are just too many, I'd be typing for hours....

For me...life without alcohol is a life....and it's been a long time since I had one of those...I use it more profitably everyday now....

Huzzahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh for MWO and everybody here....this is the one thing in all my years of trying, that has made me quit for more than about 2 weeks....this time, it's a stayer
Thank you dearhearts....from the bottom of mine xxx

[retteacher]

My Changes

Thank you Wee: I think a lot of us needed to see what you wrote. It was so hopeful. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Changes

This is a great thread Mary. I can relate to nearly all of the things everyone has posted! Weemelonhead you sound terrific - it's nice to meet you.

I will probably come back and edit this as I think of more things (the list is LOOOONGGGGG!!!! LOL!)

* I'm not a prisoner in my own house because once I start drinking I can't (won't) drive anywhere.

* I don't have the stress of planning my days around my drinking. (When can I start? Do I have my supply? What time with any driving errands or meetings be done so drinking can commence? etc. etc.)

* I don't have to worry about whether people I talk to on the phone (yes, including customers in our business!) can tell that I have been drinking.

* I don't have to worry about whether the people who come to dog training every Saturday realize that I was already drinking in the morning (and not just one coffee with Baily's or one Bloody Mary) while they were busy tracking dogs. And that I drank pretty much all day while they restricted their drinking to the appropriate times and places.

* I don't have to endure Mr. Doggy blaming any little thing I do wrong, or forget, or that he disagrees with "on my drinking." I'm blessed that we have a pretty good relationship overall. But Mr. Doggy and I are both strong willed people, and both of us are capable of "fighting dirty" rather than "productively discussing" and drink is fodder for both the "dirty" and the "fight."

* NO HANGOVERS!!! WHEE!!!

* I know that I look better too when I am not all bloated and bleary eyed.

* I don't need the booze calories - especially when I'm already 40 lbs overweight. (but it used to be 50 lbs overweight 4 months ago, so I'll take one attaboy!)

* No guilt due to secretly putting my drinking FIRST before other things that should come first.

Well, that's a start anyway. I could probably sit here for the next 2 hours and not run out of things for the list!

DG
ODAT
Day 4 AF

[retteacher]

My Changes

DG: Ditto all of those. Regarding those "disagreements" w/hubby. I feel like I can really argue back, because I'm sober & can think straight. I'm not a great arguer as it is (I'm a Pisces...we're awful at logic), but when I was drinking, forget about it. I couldn't put 2 thoughts together coherently. Love, Mary

[retteacher]

My Changes

G2G: Here's that thread you mentioned. Please add your own changes even if they seem somewhat redundant. I never get tired of seeing how peoples' lives have improved when they go AF or mod. Mary

[charlee]

My Changes

Mary..i so identify with your #s1-8......I could have written them myself!!!...It is ironic that this was posted today....As I was doing errands today I felt this strange wave of confidence come over me while driving and I just kinda shrugged it off, but that feeling kept playing in my head. Felt pretty damn good. Never related it back to being AF (13 days), but now I see.....the confidence keeps creeping back in almost every aspect of your life.....I must admit my favorite is the not sneaking and hiding those drinks...a huge weight has been lifted, and I am loving the freedom.

[go2goal]

My Changes

Changes are new

Thanks, Mary - I'll give it a try. I started a thread on my day 2 or 3 because I wanted to asee a list of things people experience to encourage me. it was helpful. Now that I am about to jump over the moon to Day 8, I don't have too many changes, but they are starting.

Day 4 - I was impatient & stressed - it was hard

Last night I slept well after the 6 days AF

Today I had so much energy - I had forgotten what it feels like to be excited, ready to go.

I feel more patient with my family

I am enjoying my time alone

I have been laughing out loud, for real, reading some of these posts like the 5 word story

I have already saved $30 this week (was into the $10 bottles of wine - sometimes more)

I am not worrying about whether to do AF or MODs - AF is working for now

I have learned I do not have to think about forever not having wine

I look forward to being many many days AF

Go2Goal

I know there will be many more changes to come

[retteacher]

My Changes

Go2: I loved your list...especially the one about not thinking about forever. I try to take it one situation at a time. It gets easier each time I overcome the urge. Mary