THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

[rob]

Good Sunday Morning from the INN for 30.

It is our tradition here to post the House Rules on Sunday and also to Shout Out our days of abstinance.

First the house rules:

Hello guests and welcome to the Inn for 30

The Inn for 30 is a gathering place for those who wish to remain AF (alcohol free) for 30 consecutive days.

Please come in and get comfortable, we have many rooms and encourage you to choose one that suits your tastes.

We do ask that all guests observe the house rules which are as follows:

1) All guests will respect, support and encourage each other during their stay.

2) While all guests are encouraged to enjoy the rumpus room, the padded walls are not meant to encourage head banging. If you are feeling really crazy or really craving, come here and talk to someone!!

3) Unfortunately, we have an unwanted inhabitant who occasionally slips up on unsuspecting guests. His name is Al-(coholic) If Al does happen to ?get you? (you have a slip) you will not be asked to leave. However, you will be sent to the Wreck Room a place where I?m sure you will not want to linger.

4) We have a fully equipped exercise room, but because your current proprietor is a lazy slug, I suggest that you get you read the booklets scattered about the room or ask someone who knows about that kind of stuff. The only ?exercise? we require of our guests is that you keep track of your AF days, any way you want.

5) Our nutritionist/cook is currently on leave for a gastric bypass so it?s pretty much up to you to get your own meals. However, we will have Sunday dinner together for our Sunday Shout Out where the rules will be reviewed for the newcomers and AF days will be posted.

6) Have Fun, Don?t Drink, No running or Diving around the Pool!!

Ok Next is the where the INN-mates. Shout out their days of abstinance loud and proud

Everyone Have a Great Sunday!! Attached files [img]/converted_files/13895=3698-attachment.gif[/img]

[xtexan]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Hello Dear Readers of the INN:

Per the shout-out rule, I now have 697 days AF. I?ll be posting a 700 day essay this coming Wednesday in Long Term Abstainers.

OK, so I guess I will be your first guest ?columnist? to expound on a few things. This is a volunteer thing, and the series will be followed by other fellows at MWO who were asked by Rob to give a few words on some questions.

First, a little about myself. I am Neil, which is a pen name, but one chosen for a couple of heroes of mine. Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon, and also Neil Peart, drummer for the rock group Rush. Both men, who I feel exemplify things that are the best of what humans can accomplish in their respective fields. Both men have written books about explorations into the human condition, that I found enlightening.

My professional work life is basically that of an Engineering Manager at a private sector company, involved in mass manufacturing. Not too much about that, because I need to remain anonymous. My personal life now is a cross between that of a sequestered monk, with occasional bouts of abandon into the wilder areas of human life. You can read about one such venture in my road trip journal in long term, from June of this year. I?m a bit of a techie nerd at heart, but also have the soul of an explorer. I love to travel into the unknown at times, and find my true peace and calm in the natural wilderness. A sort of a blend of Jeremiah Johnson, Henry David Thoreau, Thomas Edison, and Nikola Tesla with some Siddartha sprinkled on top perhaps My interests and inclinations are far-reaching and varied. In the end, I am like you.

So without further adieu, I?ll dive in, as it were, and begin. These are the questions Rob provided, and my answers as best as I can articulate.

- What event or series of events made you realize that your drinking was out of control?

I guess I first knew that I had a problem that had to be addressed way back in 1975. I had begun drinking earlier, but when I first left for junior college, and had my own private dorm room at a small Texas 2-year school, I went absolutely ape-shit. Back then, one could buy whiskey at 18 years old legally, and I ramped from a pint a day, to over a fifth a day of hard liquor within a few months of my new found independence. One binge lasting several days, ended with alcohol poisoning. I was vomiting with all the force my system could muster at 30-minute intervals. Nothing left but dry heaves, and that lasted for 2 or 3 days solid. I thought I was going to die. Most would have sworn off forever after that, but all I did was find ways to maximize my intoxication regardless, and lessen the sickness to less violent episodes.

- How many times did you try to quit drinking before you were successful?

Holy smoke. No way of counting. I was trying different things to get away from the drink as far back as 1980 probably. I tried exercise, supplements, meditations, in varied combinations and regimens. Never seemed to ?get it?, as the dependence had it hooks in very, very deep. The booze was always the very best solution to my emotional distress, and depression I always thought. I?ve resolved to quit hundreds of times, and made a blood oath to stop dozens of times. The longest I ever made it before this time, was 4 months when I was in my early 30?s.

- Which tools, do you believe, have helped you to remain AF?

All of them. Almost everything in R.J.?s program amplified, and expanded in my case. I however, have not used any prescription drugs such as Topamax. I was prescribed Valium years ago, and it was such a terrible experience I have no desire to repeat any synthetic pharmaceutical ever again. I wrote a post called ?xtexans Personal Program? sometime ago in ?Long Term?, where you can peruse the extensive array of things I use continuously, or in intervals. In that post, you will see a few things over and above R.J.?s book and program. I had been using them successfully for 9 months before I came to MWO, and got the group support I needed during a crisis where I was just about to relapse. I still find it amazing that MWO had many things I had discovered on my own over 25 years of personal trial and error. I actively seek new things, and methods to conquer the beast all the time.

- How did you deal with the sudden overwhelming cravings?

Again, different things depending on the situation. Sometimes massive doses of kudzu, sometimes brutal exercise sessions, sometimes long deep meditations, sometimes massive doses of anti-anxiety supplements. You have to learn who you are more than anything, and know your body and mind. Without this knowledge of yourself, you are shooting in the dark many times. Again, at the 9 month mark, I experienced a crisis where nothing seemed to work, and then I found MWO. I needed the support and understanding of a group who knew what battles I was fighting, without the condemning judgment and intrusion of some other alcohol abstinence groups. It just took a little bit, and now I find I wish to pass on the ?hard core? things I have discovered, and still continue to discover. Mainly, you have to have it solid in your head that booze is not, and will never be an option to solve any problem you may have. The stuff came close to killing me, and that is when the ?switch? got flipped.

- What was your biggest obstacle to remaining AF?

This may sound a bit cryptic. My own emotional and psychological ignorance of who I am was always the major hurdle. This I have aggressively tackled over the last year and a half. The first six months of AF, were mainly mechanical repetition of the external tools. During that time, I used the exercise, the supplements, hypnosis, and the other things that could come in from the outside. After those first six months, it was a matter of coming to terms with my fragmented emotional state. That has been the most difficult part of this, because it is painful to an astounding degree. Instead of emotionally and psychologically maturing, I froze the development when I was 15 when I had my first blitz drunk. Now at over 50 years old, it?s been catch-up with all the spiritual energy I can invest into becoming alive and whole again.



OK, now Rob asked for 5 tips for staying AF over the holidays.

Hmm. I could list a few things, but it would not really be of any benefit over and above things you probably already know about. I often see the catchy magazine cover that says, ?5 Tips to Losing Weight Fast!!? You think, alright, buy the magazine, and then find it is stuff you have already tried or already know about.

I still avoid situations where there is going to be a lot of drinking involved. Do I feel bad that I?ve missed out on the so-called ?festivities?? Not really anymore. I have got to the point where being around drunks is just not something I want to do anymore. I don?t judge others for wanted to drink or get intoxicated, but I find being around that kind of thing more depressing than just being alone.

Here is the thing I guess, for you to consider. What does the particular holiday really represent? Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years are the major booze-it-up traditions here in the U.S. I got to thinking, why is that? Why do we wait for a specific time, which happens to fall on a cyclic solar event? After all, these things are celebrated once a year, and why is that? What happened on that first Christmas? Does it warrant putting a toxic nerve poison into our digestive system? Does birth of Christian savior equal ethanol ingestion? Does the calendar reset that occurs at December 31st, give a real cosmic excuse to damage our digestive system with a corrosive solvent? I mean, think about why our society is so psychotic as to create excuses for drinking to excess that ultimately harm us. It really makes no sense to me these days.

I like the time off from work, and I like to visit with family and friends, but for me, there is no longer any reason to drink just because the calendar time measuring device says a messiah was born 2007 solar orbit cycles ago. Am I making any sense here? Maybe so, maybe not. This is part of becoming a person who finds the real pleasure of the holidays, are not found in any bottle of flammable hydrocarbon fuel. It is the way to think about becoming sober, and ultimately live a life of greater depth and significance.

Please don?t get me wrong, and not trying to be self righteous by any means. It is just a major shift in perception that I?ve experienced over the last 2 years. I must stay AF, or I shall surely crash into a dark oblivion. Been too rough a climb out to think any other way. Maybe in time, I can be around others drinking, and not be so affected, but that is still a ways off.
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That does it for the questions. There is a lot more, but I try to cover those things in my posts in long term. This is a place for me to heal and get better, and I take this work very seriously. Now at almost two years AF and sober, I am entering yet another stage of growth and development. One where I am delving deep into personal spiritual matters once again after a long hiatus.

To those of you just starting out, maybe a lot of what I write may seem far off, and impossible at times. It is not. If I can make it this far, then I know you can too. I stay on MWO, because I feel that continuing to stay in touch with those like myself will help me to stay free, in more ways than one.

In summation, my best advice is to believe in yourself, and to seek and become what you know you really are. The fear of our real selves is often crippling. The reason the booze grabs so many of us by the short hairs, is our sensitivity to emotional and psychological pain. This is what I find I had to turn in my favor. Instead of letting it be a condition to obliterate with booze, let it become a realization that you are one of the universes finer creations. We are alive to sense and feel. MWO is a place for us finer creations to gather and share.

Wishing you faith and strength.

Neilpan>

[rob]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Wow Neil, Thank you so much!! I was all set to come back to come back here with all sorts of pics and gegaws and saw that you had already posted.

And what a post it was!! One of the reasons that I asked our experts how many times they had tried to quit is because so many of our folks here at the INN slip and are afraid or ashamed of themselves. I really want them to see that long term success can be achieved if you keep trying! Very few people are lucky enough to succeed their first time trying!

Another important point that you brought up is the risk of stagnantion, after a period of abstinance. We all know the dangers of having to deal with emotional upsets while remaining AF but I don't think many of us had thought about that "Man I'm just going through the motions" feeling that can occur if we don't allow ourselves to contiune to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Your thoughtful questions about why we equate the holidays with ingestion of alcohol just really struck me. I had just never thought of that before. It really makes no sense. I was at an AA meeting one time and an oldtimer said: "The real drunks stay home on New Years Eve, they know its Ameture night".

Again Neil thank you so much.
Love and Peace
Rob

[Chief]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Fantastic post, Neil. I always look forward to sharing your thoughts and experiences on this journey, as I have a lot of respect for you, and feel you give me some insight on what to expect down the road.

I'm at a very young 93 days AF but find myself following you in many ways. It's not all about not drinking. That just opens the gate. I am now, after 30 years of heavy drinking, starting to figure out just who I am. I've been under the influence my entire adult life. It's time to find the real me. It's time to try and figure out why I'm here and what I can do to make a little difference in this crazy world. It's time to meet Don.

Thanks so much for showing us we can stop this madness of addiction and live the life we want to live. We only get one shot at this life, and never know how long we'll be here, so why waste one minute under the influence of anything?

We have tried to quit drinking many times before finally finding success. You mentioned that ,for you, the "switch" finally flipped. I experienced the same thing. I tell "newbies" and have heard other AFers say, "at some point, something just clicked". I wish we could figure that out. If we could just understand what all has to be aligned, or in sync, for that "switch" to be thrown, it would be such a valuable tool for people just starting down this path. I was wondering what your thoughts are on this.

Again, Thanks Neil. I wish you continued success..

Don

[july232007]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Rob, Neil & other Inn-Mates,

Thanks Rob for soliciting Neil's opinion on all things covered. Quite insightful into one man's continued successful path to sobriety.

A glorious day in the mountains of Tennessee on a cold, mostly clear morning. I am out for a run and to check a wildlife motion camera to see if it took some overnight photos of deer that have been feeding under the apple trees.

Everyone have a great day at the Inn.

July

Day 108 AF

[july232007]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Chief,

We crossed in the posting. Good morning. I agree with you, Neil and many others here (i.e. Satori) who have found that when they were ready, for real, AF days just clicked.

I faultered w/ mods for several years and I really wanted to be successful w/ mods. Then this summer I just came to the honest conclusion--for me-- that I needed to be AF. The next day I googled and MWO came to my attention. Within a few days (three) I knew that MWO was the path for me and that AF was the only legitimate option for me.

Chief, we started about the same time and I am proud of your accomplishment.

July

[meditation mama]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Wow, what a wonderful way to start this Sunday morning.

Rob, Thank you for being such an intregal part of the INN and inviting Neil today.

Neil, Thank you so much for coming in today and sharing your insights with us. Your words are so heartening and honest. Reading through it gave me renewed strength. Namaste.

Chief and July, you two are amazing. both great inspirations for me here. Thank you both for your support and strength, even when I didn't think I could do it myself.

Today is going to be a down day for me. I have come to a realization this past week that over the past year I have not cared for myself very well. I have had injury after injury, ailment after ailment. I have built a wonderful, successful business, but at what cost? My goal was to have my spa paid off before a year is up - a very lofy goal, but I did it. It has been a year, time for me to take care of myself. SO, I have changed my schedule at work, not coming in until 11am. This gives me time with my family in the morning, time to meditate, workout, EAT, and then go to work. I have a very competent staff now, - time for me to let go. I HAVE to put myself up at the top of the list, no more procrastinating. If I don't I will not be able to stay sober - I know this now. Then everything else falls. SO, that is my new resolve - starting TODAY!

Thanks for listening.. Enjoy your Sunday!

MM

[Chief]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

You are doing great MM... you have to put yourself #1. That's not being selfish, that's being proactive. We're all proud of you.

July- Always great to hear from you. I keep trying to catch both you and Star in the AF days but I just can't seem to gain on you.....(keep it that way)...

Don

[meditation mama]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Oh, yeah...


DAY 11!!

:H

[BabyGirl]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Hi All -- Yay MM on your progress!!!
I had a slio Fruday night but a massage and zero wone on Saturday -- none today either b/c I can't buy it & I do not want to -- I need to go back and read Neils post (over & over)
More later... Baby

[meditation mama]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Baby -

I SWEAR, it gets easier after the first week. Truly, it does...promise,promise, promise!

[rob]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Can I pick 'em or can I pick 'em?

I am so happy that you all are so inspired and strengthened by Neil. I knew you would be.

BabyGirl, I think that its really you that we have to thank for this. It seems to me that it may have been you who suggested a seminar.

MM- Sounds like you're making some very wise choices in finally listening to what your body is telling you. YAY Day 11!!

Chief- Hope that flu has finally left you. Its always good to know that you and July are always here to cheer us on.

Time to push away from the computer for a bit, and get some housework done, check in later.

Love and Peace

Rob

[meditation mama]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Where is everyone today...?

[meditation mama]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

So.. It's time to get the Inn Fit Club going!

I posted on the main board that I am going to do a modified version of the atkins diet. It is pretty much the same, but with leaner meats, more veggies and some high fiber. I lost 16 pounds last time I did this, so I am going to do it again. It is actually the EASIEST "diet" that one can do. It is more a kick start to just getting some foods out that don't work for me, personally. Some people can live on fruits and grains (gatherers), and some thrive more on lean meats and veggies (carnivours), I am definately the later.. So, if anyone is intersted in jumping on this band wagon, I will be happy to share recipes, tips, eating outs, etc.

On the exercise front, I am going to make a "booty call" once a day to get your booties down to the gym for at least 30 minutes a day. Again, this is for anyone who wants to shout out their workout.

I am going to post a goal... which is 18 pounds. I am going to SHOUT OUT my pounds lost on Sunday (only want to weigh in once a week), just something I want to do to keep me going. As I said in my other post. I really, really want to get this off this time. I have ben half-batteling with this for three years since my surgery and I have had it. It is not natural to have this extra on me and I WANT IT OFF. I have always known I cannot do it while I am drinking, so this will complement my being AF - one will help the other. I really need both to succeed - a little insurance policy for me.

Well.. thanks for listening to me and let me know if anyone is interested in joining me - it's more fun when you have a workout buddy and a goal!

MM

[BabyGirl]

THE INN FOR 30 HOUSE RULES AND SUNDAY SHOUT OUT

Rob,
I did suggest the seminar -- thanks for pulling it together... I know that I am one that is in need of constant reunforcement and I am very much trying to change my way of life -- too bad it cannot happen in 30 days-- of the close 40 days I have been attempting this I have had more AF days than not... so I am making progress.

I know my triggers -- Friday late afternoon (happy about the week ending and want to celebrate) but the WORST rigger is that my boss is so unpredictable that my day can change in a major way leaving me an anxiety ridden basket case by the end of the day... I have a good job, am skilled and when I saw a therapist about this she said "funny you never seem to have a probelm with the work at hand" I don't. So, I am trying to work with this-- this week I am "An Actress playing an administrator at a large university"
But, it is hard guys!!! Love to you all Baby!