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    saturday at the inn.

    I did a stupid thing yesterday and let the beast get the better of me. as a result i was kicked out for the night and sent to stay at my parents house, I have a bad feeling that I am going to have to stay there for a while. Why do I keep doing this shit to myself? I have a good run and then seem to stuff it up. i feel like I cant get any lower. no drink today
    "From now on, walking is my beer and feeling good is my hangover" .....Homer Simpson

    #2
    saturday at the inn.

    Come on Max - just get your keys and check back in - we are all having such a good time. Don't get down on yourself - its an easy slip. Just get up and walk away from that beast.

    See you at the Inn!

    Go2Goal
    "Go Placidly Amid the Noise and Haste"

    Comment


      #3
      saturday at the inn.

      Hi Max-

      So sorry you're feeling low. No great words of wisdom here - I'm on the merry-go-round somewhat too. And that old question 'why' - well, I'm stumped on that one too. I will say, that from reading some of the articles that RJ has put up and other stuff, I'm having a better understanding about the fact that the brain of an addicted person is different from other people when it comes to substances. (duh!). Our drive to consume alcohol and in what amounts is all out of whack (duh! again). Unfortunately there is no magic pill to fix it (yet). But that at least explains to me a little about why I keep doing something that brings nothing but negative consequences to my life. And why it takes such a mammoth bag of tools to put the cork in the bottle once and for all.

      Just dust yourself off and keep going..... you'll get to where you want go eventually!
      The Inn is an excellent place to recuperate. We are all here for you.

      Be gentle with yourself. You'll feel much better in a day or 2-

      wonder xx

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        #4
        saturday at the inn.

        Max - that's a bummer.....beastly beast! Pick yourself back up and get back to the, "I shall persist until I succeed"......because you will.... we believe in you. (Well, I do and I have a sneaky feeling I am not alone here!)

        Pick up thy water and drink! As Wonder says - you'll feel better in a day or two. But add this feeling to your resolve box! Are you home yet?

        Love FMS xx
        :heart: c: :heart:
        "Be patient and gentle with yourself - the magic is in you."

        Comment


          #5
          saturday at the inn.

          Max,

          Why do any of us fail? Great question. Being fair and candid is good. Yes you did something you have described as stupid and it has consequences. Soak in these consequences as you return to your better self. Try to go over the triggers in your mind during the next few days.

          Hell, this is hard stuff and all of us have fallen short, repeatedly. Remeber you are only after one success. In following your path you may fall short again, but don't let that deter you from starting AF again. You want this, you have said so in your posts. Reread some of them. Believe in yourself--we do.

          Better day today, tomorrow.

          July

          Comment


            #6
            saturday at the inn.

            Max.. I am sorry!

            I will chat with you later..

            For now, know you are so loved and we really have faith in you - really.

            Stay here.. we'll help you get through it!

            MM
            Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

            Comment


              #7
              saturday at the inn.

              Come on Buddy! Get a hold of this thing and get back here with us. You can do it. Don't go back to drinking everyday...put a stop to it today! You feel like shit and are disappointed, so change the behaviour and you'll change the outcome. We're here for you, Max

              Don

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                #8
                saturday at the inn.

                Max, one thing I have noticed in all of the "sucess" stories here, ie. long term abstinence, is that they didn't succeed the first time. It took multiple times, more times than they wanted to count most of the time, for "it" to take.

                This is just one of those times. Doesn't mean you will never succeed. Don't lose faith in yourself, we haven't.

                The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

                Comment


                  #9
                  saturday at the inn.

                  Max...c'mon.....back away from the beast....you can do it.

                  July was right with 'look for the triggers'. Can you think back and see what feeling/event gave you the feeling you wanted to drink? Sorting out the stuff in the head is SO important, imo, and learning to deal with those triggers in other ways that aren't harmful to us.

                  Have lots of water, maybe some comfort food, take the day easy and check back into the Inn straight away.

                  Suze x
                  Just hand me the chocolate and.........I'll consider my position. My solicitor has advised me to say no more than that.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    saturday at the inn.

                    Good Morning INNmates!!

                    Max- I am so sorry about your situation. I hope you are able to find it within yourself to make the changes that will allow you to go back home. Max, you were kind enough to share pictures of you metal sculpture with me and you are a truely gifted artist. You have also shown yourself to be caring and compasionate and deeply concerned about the welfare of others. Please turn some of that kindness toward yourself. You are well loved and respected here and we're all behind you.

                    Bethany- Is it day 8 now? Congrats.

                    MM- Hope you're still on the mend.

                    Pepper - Day 11! You are movin' right along

                    G2G- Love the Uncle Hall story

                    July- Always great to see you.

                    Well if I seem a little spacier than usual its because I upped my topomax. I've been putting it off, but was starting to feel a little wobbly so I took the plunge. Man does that stuff work fast. I looked out my window this am and saw an unfamiliar Persian cat walking in my back yard, big old fat thing and I wondered: "Is that a cat or a-one of those wild animal things that lives in the woods" ? Oh the joys of tops dopa.

                    Everyone have a great Saturday, I'll stop back later
                    Love and Peace
                    Rob

                    Comment


                      #11
                      saturday at the inn.

                      Hi All,

                      I am still here but have been so busy ... I am in NC now for a nice relaxing Thanksgiving WEEK!!!

                      My boss is my trigger -- I had a slip on Wednesday -- she basically changed my entire calendar to accomodate her schedule -- so by the time the day was over I knew I would have a bottle of wine -- and I did. I have been AF since then and my boyfriend does not drink so I don't think I'll have a trigger... I am going to try to check in more as I am working to make a total lifestyle change -- need different ways to respnd to the triggers.

                      Hope everyone is doing well! Baby

                      Comment


                        #12
                        saturday at the inn.

                        Hi All...

                        Quick hello!

                        Still not feeling well, but I think tomorrow will be the day. I have it off and I am going to sleep all day. Please have the staff ready to wait on me hand and foot!! Boy, I need it!!

                        Rob - How much Topa are you taking, and at what time? I also take it (50mgs - may go to 75mgs), and I take it all at once at 4pm, an hour before my bewitching hour. I don't take it twice a day, as outlined in the MYO plan becasue I get spaced out. Taking it all at once in the evenings makes me a bit tired, but that is a good thing for me - I'm a little HYPER IN MY DIPER! Good Luck...

                        I can't wait for Thanksgiving!

                        Catch up later...

                        MM
                        Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          saturday at the inn.

                          Hi kids!

                          Good to see everyone. I could not fall aslep last night until like 2:30 and now woke up so late! I hate doing that during these short days - I've missed half the daylight!
                          So I'm gonna run out now and get in a hike in the woods before the days passes by completely.
                          Back to say hi more later-
                          wonder xx

                          Comment


                            #14
                            saturday at the inn.

                            Hey MM- We will definitly have the staff on high alert fo you tomorrow!

                            I had been taking 75 mg of topa at night. I know the recommendation is to split the dose but it just makes me too tired during the day. So now I've gone up to 100 mgs. I'll stay here till after the holidays, I'll also pump up the supps which I've slacked off on.

                            Its way too easy to get too busy and distracted to keep doing what helped to get us sober in the first place.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              saturday at the inn.

                              I think I will bump to 75mgs for the holidays, too. Thanks for the reminder....
                              Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.

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