Nov. 18 - Sun.

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I'm trying to unravel a thorny problem w/family. I'm very unaccustomed to dealing w/issues directly. In the past, I drank to avoid problems, let them fester, & then had to deal w/them anyway in the end, after they had become worse than they were to begin with. Now, I'm trying to work out compromises & not feel like a martyr. It's not easy, but I'm doing it. I know I'll be better for this in the end. Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Nov. 18 - Sun.

Hi Mary, and all to come!

I wonder, Mary, how the rest of your family is dealing with the NEW YOU? How are they handling you being more direct and not a martyr??

I have problems with being assertive, sometimes. I am more assertive with those that I KNOW love me since stopping drinking, but it is still hard with other people. I don't completely trust that they give a crap what I feel. In fact, I used to be MORE assertive before I had a drinking problem, but sometimes, I don't think I was assertive in the right way.

It's hard to teach this middle-aged dog new tricks, but I DO want to learn.

Hugs,
Kathy

159 Days AF

[Determinator]

Nov. 18 - Sun.

Happy Sundy ABeriginees far and wide.
well, last nights fancy dinner at the steak house with all my boozing friends got to me finally...not in an uncontrolled blowout, but I did have one glass of wine to very slowly sip on so I could no longer smell it on them. not my gameplan but I survived and was very sober at least. whew! last day at the show and then I can get back here tonight and catch up on the boards. had a 16 hour work day yesterday. arg.
well done Mary and Kathy ....I'll join you on the issue of family and sobriety soon but I gotta zoom back to the stinky casino and back to work for a shorter day at least,
be well everone!

[Breez]

Nov. 18 - Sun.

Almost evening All!

I'm still trying to figure out who I am so I'm sure my family is just as confused as I am.

I take each situation as it presents itself & do the best that I can. I once read that when you give up alcohol you are left mentally mature as when you started drinking. So basically I have the mentality of a 20 something trapped in an almost 40 body! HELP! Wish it was vice versa~LOL.

Hi Kath-when is Maddy coming home? Bet your excited! How's your sister doing by the way?

Hey deter-proud of you. You were in a situation where you could have gone overboard (tired, environment, hunger etc)-but you didn't. Don't work too hard & make sure you get plenty of rest when your done-you don't want to get sick for the holidays! Gobble gobble....

Well off to make my tomato sauce for dinner. Make it every Sunday & have it for the rest of the week.

Have a great AF night everyone!

[retteacher]

Nov. 18 - Sun.

Kathy: Strangely I was more assertive w/my colleagues & students than I am w/my family, particularly my husband. I think he has noticed the difference, but my basic quiet approach to life is the same. I'm not sure what he thinks. He's learning to compromise now. I'll think about it. Mary

[YoungAtHeart]

Nov. 18 - Sun.

I'm glad you'll think about it, Mary. I'm curious about how we all change in our alcohol free lives. I am pretty much the same in many ways, but I am finding that I will have to make changes in my life so that I like my life better. The things that used to bother me still bother me, but I used to drink to numb them out. If I want to stay sober, I'm going to have to start doing things differently. It's just rather scary, and sometimes I get paralyzed for a while.

Breez, Maddy just went back to school after spending the weekend with me, since she is seeing her dad for Thanksgiving. We had a good time together and talked a great deal. It was really nice, but I cried after I dropped her back at school. It's really starting to settle in that she will never be my "little girl" again.:upset: At the same time, I don't have any complaints about the new relationship we are developing. Now she's my pretty "grown up" girl.

Deter, you did well by only having one glass of wine at the convention.

I must confess to "cheating" today. When I went to buy a bottle of AF wine, I bought a little chocolate candy with a drop of Bailey's Irish Creme in the center. Okay, there BAD GIRL! That's done! :H I'm going to make sure that isn't the first step on the road to ruin!

Take care everyone!

Hugs,:l
Kathy