Nov. 21 - Wed.

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

Again Chief: congratulations on reaching 100. I've read that once you've passed the 90 day mark, your brain functions differently. For one thing, your impulse control is restored. Additionally, Chief, I thought about what you said about the millions of people who go through difficulties completely sober. Yes, that is so true, & I'm now one of them. Pre-MWO, difficulties, struggles, crises were all invitations to drink to excess. I guess it offered me a way to escape for a while. I never seemed to put 2 & 2 together & realize that the drinking was magnifying & multiplying everything. Now, I simply have to deal w/life instead of dealing w/life + drinking. It's refreshing, & even the most thorny problems have a way of working themselves out.

I just looked at my calendar. It's filled w/social events for the holidays. I'm not too worried. I know there will be some moments when I see people take their first sip & get that instant relaxation. However, as a keen observer of human nature, I'll also be able to see when people have reached or gone over their limit. On the other hand, I can just be completely myself (w/all my strengths & insecurities as well).

Today, I'm making pies, pies, pies in preparation for Thanksgiving. Of course, I will not drink. That's a given for me. I'll have my whole extended & immediate family around me...plenty of kids to keep me happy & sober. Good luck everyone, & to all Americans out there: Happy Thanksgiving. Mary

[Sante]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Oh Mary, you are so inspirational. I wish I could get the hang of this and find the resolve to stop drinking. I seem to be struggling to find a starting point. Each morning I awake to remorse, make promises to myself, and then break them. I keep remembering that you went through something like this at one point, but you kept coming here, posting, and trying. That is what I'm doing: I'm keeping on trying. Happy Thanksgiving,
Sante

[rustop61]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Hi Mary, Sante and all to come

Sante, :welcome: I see you have joined us over on ODAT, thats all any of us can do, just take it a day at a time, take baby steps. The more alcohol free time you get under your belt the easier it gets. I love Doggies quote "I will keep quitting the booze until I dont suck at quitting the booze any more". The important thing is to stick at it, keep posting and keep trying to get AF days under your belt. Have you got the book or the supplements? I'm not taking the topa but I do find that the supplements help.

Happy thanksgiving everyone.

Rustop

***********************

[retteacher]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Sante:

I just said the same thing to you on the Newbie ODAT thread: Yes, yes, yes! Keep coming here & try again as many days as it takes. When I slipped (all those many times...especially in the beginning), my first inclination was to stop coming here to MWO. I had to force myself. In fact, Sante, in April, when I first came here to MWO, I actually binged more than before I found this site. I stopped for the whole month of August & in the latter part of Sept. I started up again. I slipped a few times in Sept. & Oct. On Oct. 6th, I decided "enough is enough." I adopted the ODAT philosophy. Just for today I won't drink. I won't think about tomorrow, next month, or next year. I won't think about holidays, parties, or celebration. I'll just attack the challenge of today. You can do this. I know you can.

As far as tomorrow is concerned (Thanksgiving): We're going to our nephew's home. He's a wine dealer & will have some really lovely wines. I will be extra vigilant. I will take nothing for granted. I won't drink. I know from some limited experience that the first few minutes are the hardest: when other people are receiving their drinks & taking the first lovely sip (in my case, gulp). I will turn my attention to other things. Children, babies, food, cooking, anything.

Keep coming. I've got your back. Mary

[Sante]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Hi Rustop,

I've read the book, take supplements, don't take topa, but do have a prescription for a mood leveller that I really like. But I'm not real good at taking the supplements except in the morning. But you're right, I have to keep trying, trying, trying. I'm feeling sort of optimistic today. It's early, but it is a start.

Sante

[go2goal]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Good Morning on Turkey Eve -

Sante, you CAN do this - and there are so many to do it with! Just make it through the first evening and wake up the next morning KNOWING you have done it - you have started your AF days. Keep reading and posting and pretty soon you will have days behind you.

Mary, oh, I so relate to your posts. When we gather with friends, there is always plenty of 'lovely wine' because we have a wine dealer in the group, as well. It has been a challenge to think about "never' having a nice velvety cold Chardonnay on a warm summer evening, with just a hint of oak......or a clear Pinot with a deep mahogany color....ah, this is exactly why I cannot think about how long I will do this - it can only be just NOW. I mean I have committed to 30 days, but I am not thinking about after that - just seeing what THAT will be like - the future commitments are in the future. So, for me taking ODAT, is essential, in fact, its really just allowing NOW in my brain train.

Have a great day and enjoy any preparations if you are a Pilgrim. Safe travels to all!

Go2Goal

[Sante]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Mary and Go2Goal,
thanks for your words of encouragement. I'm feeling very shakey today. I know the feeling all too well -- it's my form of a hangover. My husband is trying to make light of things today. He senses how tense and distracted I am. I feel like I need to get going/moving. Like I'm a bundle of nerves. I know I'll be okay once I get myself into the groove, out of the house, and off to today's activities. Thanks again for letting me come here and post. I just want today to be AF. That's all.
Sante

[Chief]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Sante, Here's a little help.....

For today, just today, in your mind, take drinking off the table. The problem is, in the back of your mind, The Beast is saying ever so softly, "you can't do this, it's too much, you know you're going to drink, so why wait?"

If you firmly and stubbornly plant it in your mind that " I am NOT going to drink today, NOTHING can make me take a drink.", you will be establishing the rules and taking control of the situation, instead of just riding along, actually waiting for it to get too hard so you can cave.

I hope that makes sense. It's a mind game in your own mind. You have to establish right out of the gate who's making up the rules...you or The Beast.

Don

[Sante]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Don,

Thanks a lot for this. I'm going to try this. I know all about the Beast and the games it plays. But I'm going to try your suggestion. I'm having a kind of rocky morning, and can use all the help I can get. Thanks.

Sante

[Breez]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Morning All-

Sante~in the beginning all I did was keep busy. Anything not to sit down & start thinking about drinking.

Like Mary I started my journey here a year ago but still could not get it right in the beginning. My first month I tried but still decided to drink. In mid December I said that's it. I said to myself that that Christmas I will not make a fool of myself. I will not have the phony-in-laws whispering that I've been drinking. I will not have remorese the next day. I made that decision-I commited myself mind, body & soul. I went 7 mo AF with one "oops" (I didn't anticipate that stress could still be a trigger-I thought I was Wonder Woman putting too much on my plate) & had 1 drink the day I quit my job-but stopped after that realizing what I was doing. But with both mistakes in so many AF months I learned that I am not invincible even after "x" amount of AF days. I am always a work in progress. I am now embarking on almost a year in this AF journey & I am so happy that even tho it was not a total AF year-it has been the most AF months I have had in a long, long time. It gives me hope that perhaps next year will be a total AF year. No-I take that back-I WILL have a total AF year.

Never ever give up. I tried to moderate drinking for 4 yrs, realizing I could not do it & then tried to quit the next 4 years. There is no miracle. It's hard work. I've said this before "sobriety is not for sissies". Nothing will change in your life unless you change it.
I wish everyone the best luck tommorrow-stay focused, stay strong. The next thing you know the day is over & you survived a holiday AF. Something to be proud of. I had the biggest smile on my face my first AF holiday. Use that as a goal.

Well-family is home today. Everyone has it off. I'm about to start lugging up all the Christmas decorations & start our trees (we have 2~1 formal & 1 with all kinds of ornaments).

Have a great AF day everyone! Attached files [img]/converted_files/370151=2485-attachment.gif[/img]

[Sante]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Breez,

Thank you. I know I have to keep trying. What other choice do I have? All I want is to be AF today. There is no reason for me to drink None whatsoever. I have to start somewhere. I have to do this for me. I know exactly what you mean about people talking about you. I have had so many embarrassing experiences. It shames me to think about them. Today: no alcohol. Just today.

Sante

[YoungAtHeart]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Hi All,

Lots of good thoughts and advice here today.

Sante, it truly is a ODAT thing. You can make up your mind each day that you won't drink, and the next thing you know, you'll have 30 days. Don't think about the future too much. It would freak me out when I did that and thought the word "never".

Also, this was very important to me, Sante. I have found that the build up to quitting is much harder than actually quitting. Once you start, it becomes easier. Don't sentimentalize drinking. I can still romanticize the idea of a "dewy" chardonnay or a "smooth" shiraz sometimes, but it's all bunk. It just makes you drunk and remorseful the next day. I hang on to my AF days like the precious gold that they are.

Mary, Rustop, G2G, Chief, and Breez, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and keep up the great work.

Thanks everyone for all your support yesterday re: Maddy. I ended up going down and getting her last night at school so that she can drive her own car to her father's. This way, she won't be dependent on anyone for rides or feel stuck. Anyway, I appreciate everyone's listening to me; it really helped to get it out.

Hugs to All,:l
Kathy

[go2goal]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Breez;227209 wrote: Nothing will change in your life unless you change it.

THAT Quote, right there, from a sister ONE YEAR into this New Life.......says it all. Feast your eyes, ears, and heart on that nugget, my friends.

Thanks Breez, you too, are a candle in this room. :thumbs:

Go2Goal

[meditation mama]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

What a great post today..I love hearing from those we don't hear from everyday. Jumping in here for Sante - warms my heart... You CAN do this today, Sante - my thoughts are with you!

Have a wonderful day everyone... I have to run, but will check in later..

Namaste,

MM

xoxox

[retteacher]

Nov. 21 - Wed.

Kathy, you are so right about romanticizing the "lovely" wines. I never drank for the taste anyway. An expensive bottle or a cheap one were the same for me, because it was the effect I wanted not the taste. Nope, I won't drink tomorrow...no matter what. Mary