didnt make it 30 days

[me145]

hey everyone. well, i was doing real well. taking antabuse once a week, because i read it stays in ur system for two weeks. on thanksgiving, i was going with my family to the pocoonos to spend it there. on the car ride there, i was thinking of how bored i was goingt o be while everyone was getting drunk on wine, and i wasnt joining the side of the family i like or am comfortable with. im thinking, " great we gotta stay up till twelve tonight. so from two pm on i have to sit around people who are drinking and that i dont like." i askd my mom, "hey mom, if im only taking antabuse once a week and i havent taken it in a bit over a week, would it be ok to drink some wine?" and she said she would think it wouldnt stay in ur system for as long as someone who is taking it everyday. so i also thought to myself, " well hey the point of waiting a month is to get the alcohol out of your system> its been three weeks now, and i read online that it takes three weeks to leave the alcoholics system. so i basically made mental excuses as to why it would be ok to end my month af early. i didnt plan on like, going out and drinking the week afer. i was just like, thre glasses of wine is not going to hurt me, and its out of my system, and moderation is my ultimate goal anyway. so i did. and it was fine. but i came back today and told my bf and he was so disappointed in me. he made me see it as a failure, rather than how i was thinking of it that day. i was basically thinking, "youve done a good job. the alcohol takes three weeks to get out of hyour system, so its not going to hurt you to stop now, and then just take the rest of the week af after anyway" He decided to try af for awhile to.( hes in na/aa classes right now) he is on day six now. and he said ""y aknow that makes me feel like I could have drank on thanksgiving, and i could have had some beer when i went out today with my friend". i dont know, i just feel bad now. like i failed. drinking that wine also made me kinda think, " this isnt that great, what is all this stress over drinking and wanting to drink or not about!"

[meditation mama]

didnt make it 30 days

Hi me...

Oh, how our minds can make it ok.. been there! So, you have a decision to make - to MOD or to go back to AF lifestyle. SOunds like your BF is trying pretty hard and it is really tough on one if the other is saying it's ok.. That's a toughie, but you may want to give the 30 days another go. It takes much longer than 3 weeks to break a habit. The alcohol is gone but the pattern is still there. It would also be supportive to your BF. SOunds like you didn't think it wa sall that great anyway.. Good luck!

All the best,

MM

[me145]

didnt make it 30 days

ya.. thanks for your advice. i know that the alcohol is out of your system but its the habits that youve developed that dont just leave you in three weeks or a month! im not sure whats gonna happen now. i know especially with him not drinking, that im going to barely drink. we'l see. ill etya know!

[Victory]

didnt make it 30 days

Well done

How brave you are to have taken antabuse, in my deepest darkest hours have wondered about taking it. You know what? Too scared to take it as self-harming via the bottle is just one way to self harm, was afraid of drinking on antabuse just so I could be really sick and hurt myself in another way. As an ex-social worker, have seen clients cut themselves regularly. Eeeeeewwwww says moi, but drinking til you drop and hating yourself?Wot?s the difference? OK no bandaids needed but still a self-harm tactic. Your BF sounds like he could use some backup. Do you care for him really? Sorry if that is a tad blunt. You guys could really back each other up and the sky is the limit. Yes congratulations you cleaned your system and I bet your body is grateful. In answer to your question, the stress over drinking and not drinking is called an addiction. This addiction knows no social boundaries. A.K.A. known as the ?Alcohol Demon?: It does not care if you are: Rich or poor. Black or white. Educated or illiterate. Male or female. Young or old. Pretty or ugly. Fat or thin. Sick or healthy. Tall or short. Married or single. A mother or childless. The Alcohol Demon wants you to drink. You sound young and to have found this problem now is a blessing, believe me. Would you like to wake up one day and say Oooophs I am so close to 50 it?s not funny and the booze still tells me what to do?
Please keep posting and reading this is a great site.
Kind regards
:goodjob:

[fickle]

didnt make it 30 days

Hi Me,

Sounds like you have a complicated situation wnat with your needs, your boyfriend's needs, and then your families needs. I can appreciate and identify with that!

Try to chill a bit and consider where you are in all of that. If you want to abstain personally that is cool, but don't let anyone else mess you about! If your partner's having his own hard time then you need to find extra support for yourself. Sometimes a poisonous family can find every way to make you think you are bad, when in fact you are a person striving to be a healthy part of an unhealthy family. Do Question!

I personally think nutrition is the answer and not antabuse!

Please remember we are here.. post in the 'Need help Now' any time babe.. I've been in that 'sandwich' situation between families & loved ones myself. Believe me, YOU are not the problem.

Love

[me145]

didnt make it 30 days

Hey guys, thanks for the wisdom and advice. Its saturday, i drank thurs night, and I dont plan on drinking again for a week or two. i never was addicted. I do know that my biggest problem is not how many days per week drink as much as how i have a hard time stopping before i get to drunk. ive said this before that i have depression and once i start to drink, if i drink at a steady pace, i feel good.. if i slow down, or stop, my depression starts to sink in worse than before. i dont want to be on antidepressants, so if i take the natural supplements ( 5-htp, amin acid, fish oil pills) I am "ok". not terrible, not great, but ok. AND if i keep my drinking to once a week, MAYBE twice at most, if the second time is just a little alcohol. if i drink more than that my depression is def worse. my boyfriend is disappointed and really wants me to do af with him. i was looking foward to trying to moderate, and it sucks becuase if i want to go out with my gf's, hes going to feel like he wants to go out to, and thats why he wants me to be af as well. hes right here and hes saying no, he wants someone who is af to marry. its been just a week for him, so who knows whats going to happen. well i think antabuse is amazing victory. u just hvae to make sure you dont do anything stupid on it. antabuse is not the answer of course. i know i need therapy and i wish i had health insurance bc im dying for it. i feel so bored. im 26 and i want to be out doing things on a fri or sat. instead ive sat the whole weekend with my bf just watching movies,bc we're trying to avoid the bar scene or any alcohol triggers. i dont know how people can live totally af at this age. or at any age really. so what do you guys do as far as the alcohol goes? are ou moderating? taking supplements?